How I will slowly get out of it

I am known to make very spontaneous decisions in life, but this time, it will be slow but painful. I am going to quit the technical world but slowly. I do enjoy the part where I problem solve and be creative. I am very happy that I have a Computer Science degree, but I have been doing it for almost nine years, and it is not me. Not me at all.

That’s why I am trying my best to do other certifications, and now I applied for a volunteer position to help out kids in need and manage events and stuff. I still didn’t get the volunteer position, but I am keeping my finger crossed and I really want to do something else in life and sway as much as I can from the IT world.

I will tell you why I decided this. You see, in my previous job, although I came across to others that I didn’t like it, but I really loved what I was doing. There were a lot of ups and downs, but I had a purpose to help humanity with the software I was creating. What am I doing now? What have I been doing for the past two years? Making rich people become richer? Commercial software that has no great human purpose is driving me up the wall.

No wonder I have not been blogging a lot for the past two years. When I kept saying that this job was sucking the life out of me, I wasn’t joking. If I ever stay in this field, it better be for the purpose of helping people; otherwise, what’s the point? I lost touch with who I am. I am not like this. I am Mona. I am nice. I love helping people and doing something that makes someone else smile.

No wonder I wanted to study Biology and become some researcher finding a cure to some detrimental disease or become a doctor. But I didn’t sign up for this.

If my career and life is not based on enhancing the well being of humanity and contributing something in order for people to use and help them live life, then I don’t want it. I realized this too late. Or maybe it was just bottled down inside of me because I was lost in this world I accidentally fell into.

I know I have complained enough in the past. This is why I was complaining. I got sick of it and I cannot get out of it that easily. I have to try other ways. The day I started dreading waking up in the morning to go to work, then I knew I just have to end it soon in any way possible.

Thank God that I am only 30 and want to end this soon, and not live my life with regrets.

Blah Blah, Depressed, Random Thoughts