I have been getting a lot of emails lately that I notoriously ignored that ask me one thing, “How to deal with Arab men?”
Well, if you are not Arab, good luck fitting in and for his mom to accept you.
If you are an Arab, good luck getting his family, especially his mom, to like you.
Otherwise, I really don’t know. Arab guys are too complicated that little old me just don’t get it. No wonder I am single. It’s like putting two opposed celestial planets in one room. Men are from Mars, and I am from an undiscovered place beyond dwarf planet Pluto. 
Yes, i agree with you Mona, i start dating non- Arab guy (White) and i’m so happy with this. im not generalizing an opinion about Arab guys but its more about traditions and culture thing that make it complicated for me at least to find an Arab i like.
Cheers,
Fatema
Try being a black/African Arab trying to marry one from the “middle East” …….. “wallahi ya binti inti hilwa, o a7bich bas …….. the “bas” says it all…. translation: yeah, you’re black it’s not happening. I want the best for my son (when I mean best I mean someone that’s beautiful (arab standard of beautiful) and can be praised by the extended family)……” It’s annoying. I hate the hesitation in others eyes when I don’t look like a stereotypical “Arab Canadian”. (Because most Arabs in Ontario are from the Levant) Trying to marry, is just even more awkward that’s why I’m just having fun doing w/e.
the problem are bitch ass arab guys who can’t stand up for them freaking selves against their parents who live in CAGES. It pisses me off. I hate how they let their parents dictate their lives and control their lives. How the hell can someone be HAPPY marrying a fucking guy who can’t even stand up for what he believes in!!!!! This is the one goddamn thing I hate about arab guys. Screw your parents and start depending on yourselves.
I have dated a couple Arab guys but truth be told I would not marry one of them because of the cultural differences. I am American and the Arabic culture is so different on so many levels as well as the relations between men and women. I am sticking to white, black, Latin, and Asian men.
Arab guys are very attractive, charming, and fun to hang with but when we pass the surface and get deeper, I can tell the attitudes most if not all have towards women and their ‘place’ in society. Thanks but no thanks.
Who would want to be treated like a second class citizen for the rest of their lives? Or be walking on thin egg shells if one does something a woman should not? This is especially true for non-Arbic women who were not raised in this culture. For non-Arabic women who try this feat good luck.
It is such a shame because Arabic guys can be really cool and some not so much.
You are right Mona. The answer is good luck because women who try this will be needing a lot of it.
I say ‘stay away if you are not arabic,’ don’t even begin a relationship to begin with. Just say ‘no.’
Yasso,
are you Nigerian? Possibly Hausa or Fulani? It sounds like you are from West Africa.
I know your plight being African/being dark skinned. These guys would love to date you…but when it comes to marriage and getting their family to accept you, that is a whole other story.
But I say. Why put up with that? I have dated some Arabic guys and I get way better respect from black, latino, and white men. I rememeber asking one Arabic guy I was dating whether his family would accept me…his silence said it all. Why put yourself through a family that will not accept you and even if they do, they will make sure to let you know that you are not good enough for their son and treat you as such.
If I were you, I would just date other Arab/black/dark skinned ones in your tribe or go for European or American white, black, latin, or asian men. Most treat their women like equals and you will have the freedom to be you and live.
I understand a bit about the strong influence of family and it is easier said than done. But truth be told. If you could get out run. And be free and don’t restrict yourself to only Arabic guys. There is a whole world out there.
Who knows Yasso, you probabaly love your culture and being Arabic. So what I say would have no bearing, but for me being raised in USA, being a career women and having the freedom to do what I want, when I want…makes me want other women to join me. But it might be too much to assume that Arabic women don’t love their culture and the way they were brought up. But from the outside looking in, I don’t understand why any Arabic women who can get out of thier restrictive(compared to the western world) culture, would not just run. With or without their family. To me that life would like to tie a birds wings to its sides.
I don’t mean to offend. I am just giving my perspective. Why deal with all that when there are men that will take you as you are as well as their family. Why go into a cultrue where they will treat you even worse becasue you are dark skin. Love is powerful but after a while when the dust settles you will need more than love to tide you over.
In this world it can be hard being of dark skin but there are some things you should never compromise on. Like your man standing up for you in especially when it comes to his family accepting you.
I think the cultural strain would put anyone out of orbit. Every dynamic is different and every family equally so. Based upon the comments it appears that one is not marrying a man, but his family as well. And if getting to know an individual is difficult, try getting to know the rest of the family as well.
If you are not Arab (also a Muslim), don’t date an Arab.
They have ultra conservative culture, which is hard to digest by non-Arabs or the West.
Latin, black, and white (Christian) people can date each other much more easily since they have much more in common (drinking alcohol, dating, etc).
Hey Ragel,
points for also mentioning the Muslim element in dating. Religion is a big part of dating and should be considered.
Also as for the drinking thing, all the Arab guys I met here in USA drink. I meet them at the club and it’s fun to hang out and laugh. I will say I had fun times with my girl friends meeting guys in clubs and flirting. One of the funest times we met these Arabic guys, they were tipsy and so were we, I hardley remember our conversation but we laughed so much together. Good times, lol.
Totally agree with you both, Ragel and BlueCrush!
JUST DON’T DO IT!
I find arab men really attractive, perhaps because they have this mysterious air that makes me very curious… but I’ve learned to avoid them after I fell deeply in love with an Iraqi guy last year.. who ended up marrying his 17 year-old relative because it was just “the right thing to do”..
After not hearing from him in a week (I was back in my country visiting my family), he called me one morning and told me the news over the phone like it was nothing… and after the world stopped for a couple of seconds, I managed to say: “…who is she?” to which he answered coldly: “that’s not important”.
After all my (useless) efforts to understand why he did this to us and a couple of midnight calls in which he confesses between tears that he’ll always love me, I can’t help but to think that it’s really not worth it…
So.. non-arab girls: when you see an arab guy who’s smiling at you, be wise enough not to smile back… and if you do, just keep in mind that they will NEVER marry you! (but they WILL get married, and the sooner the better).
As a matter of fact, at the exact same moment he’s flirting with you, his mother is looking for the perfect daughter-in-law, and it’s just not you… (she’s 10-15 years younger, a virgin and AN ARAB).
I really think that the problem is that the questions are broken from the start.
If you are dating someone you consider to be either Arab or non-Arab, you’re doomed to never really know them.
Everyone wants to be treated like a unique individual.
Thus, I agree with not helping people who like to treat others as types rather than as individuals. I guess it’s easier to stereotype others, but also lazy.
Why not sit down and talk to the person and ask them how they feel rather than going to a 3rd party who doesn’t know anything about your situation?
It takes generations to make change. Once the old husk of poorly educated immigrants die off, and modern arab persons say ‘I won’t treat my children as badly as I was treated’ then change will come. Don’t have to rush, push, or argue with the old school ones.. just wait and see your life and the lives of those around you will be more open, more free, and better in every way.
The only person who has anything decent and intelligent to say is Leeroy and Matt, who acknowledges that people should be treated and judged as individuals, not as a simple product of their culture. Not to mention that the Arab world is by no means homogenous. Lebanese and Saudis are as different from one another as Americans and Chinese! And not everyone is Muslim
The fact is that few people actually bother to truly understand the culture or religion of a person they are dating. Living in Bahrain, I know plenty of Arab guys who are open minded and have successful and happy marriages with non-Arab or non-Bahraini women, but women also need to be smart in recognizing the ones who may be charming but are more conservative.
As for me, being somewhat of a feminist, most GCC guys have a certain mindset that quite clashes with my beliefs. However, I am engaged to a wonderful Lebanese Christian man who shares my general convictions and respects my views and independence. His family has been nothing but accepting of me, and in fact it is my family that is more hesitant in their acceptance. Anyway, all that to say that you shouldn’t just categorize Arab men as being a certain way. They are really quite a diverse group of people and you may be surprised if you open your mind a little.
I’m a White American guy who loves Arab girls, but most I know (College) don’t date outside of their Race or Religion. What are the chances of finding an Arab girl who would date a White non-Muslim guy? those chances are very slim from my experiences. It’s also not fair that Muslim men can date anyone of any race or religion they want, but muslim women can not.
The worst experience I had was when I was 13 years old and there was this Palestinian girl (13 years old) who lived next door to me, she was very beautiful and we liked each other very much. But her father hated me, and did everything in his power to keep her away from me. I remember one night we snuck out of our houses and we kissed for the first time. It got to the point where she was confused and scared because she liked me very much, but she did not want to make her father unhappy, so we agreed to never talk to each other again, indeed it was hard to do that, but I did it for her sake. The Palestinian girl and her family eventually moved away and I was devastated. She was my first love.
I’m 21 now and after all these years, after so many relationships past, I still think about her to this day. I wonder though, maybe the reason I like Arab girls now is because I’m trying to recaptpure my first love which was so amazing, yet so short.