Yes I know. I have not blogged in a while. I had my reasons though. First of all, I find that others are waiting for something. I have nothing to provide. I am not interesting. I was borderline suicidal a couple months ago, and I became someone I hate, but I tried to compose my self. Patience is something I value the most, and it helped me through a lot.
What I have become, and it will take me months to slow down from, if ever, that my verbal communications are without limits. I understand people, and I am not afraid to say what is on my mind. I don’t regret anything, and I stand with my point of view 100%. I am not ashamed of anything or think twice. I have endured so much crap in my life, especially the past two years, that my sanity was jeopordized at some points, and now, well, I have become “this”.
I will get back to my first point. I am constantly being watched. Either by my psedonym that I tried to flourish since 2005, or the name I was born with. I don’t get it. Why me? What is so interesting about me? What do I say, or portray about my self that is so interesting? It’s not. I am a very boring 32 year old. I am alone with my thoughts. I work very hard at anything I do, and I show it with my talents. I am very blunt and I stand with my opinions.
Enough of that. I am enjoying my new job. It is interesting and very mellow. I needed that because I wanted to step back a little bit. I get paid a lot, and I don’t do anything that requires that much energy or thinking of various solutions as I did in the past. I am focused on one thing, and that is it. So what did I do so far? I work really fast, and I need to slow down. Hmm, I portray my creative talents, and I love that. Oh, and I made one guy almost cry and walk out. I had to stop him at the door and calm him down. He apologized to me the next day, and realized who he is dealing with. He tried to justify my actions personally, but what was there to discuss? He is he, and I am me. Isn’t that nice? Oh well, sometimes you have to be your self to fit in. Or some people like a challenge. No? Hehe!!!