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A darkend mood

I have been depressed in my life, but I don’t know how I feel now. Maybe I feel utter shame and worthlesness. Something I never felt before, and I don’t know how to deal with it anymore. Maybe the days are just slowly running by. I can’t stop time. No one can at all. Life goes on, but what did we do to deserve this?

What mistakes that we purposely made to come to this? I have no idea at all.

I am asking my self all these questions, and I have no answer. I just gave up because I don’t know anything anymore. Nothing.

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5 Comments

  • Salam.
    What I am learning in life?..

    “You have to learn to pick your thoughts like you pick your clothes everyday” –Richard from Texas, ‘Eat Pray Love’. You are not the victim of your thoughts, hopelessly doomed to act out how you feel.
    Pray. Seek God in the darkest times because he is all you have, really.
    Nothing in all the world, not even a normal, healthy marriage, home of your own, stable life and school for your children or parents will give you peace unless and until you already have it inside.
    Happiness depends entirely on you, not on outside circumstances. You choose happiness or you choose despair by allowing your thoughts to govern you, or vice versa.
    When you are healthy and taking care of yourself, you are able and willing to take good care of your parents, your home –the opposite is also true.
    You hit rock bottom here. Things cannot get any worse, inshallah. So keep your head up.
    Faith breeds good choices and those, in turn, grow you in faith.
    Being ‘strong’ is just that- being. It’s an action, a choice. It does not mean you never feel weak. On the contrary, strength is most exemplified when you feel the weakest and still make the hard choice to behave as if you feel strong.
    Do you feel your world caving in and this life becoming too much? Do you feel overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, angry, frustrated, and/or downtrodden? Stop. Breathe. Pray. Walk. But for the love of God, don’t speak.
    Do NOT make life-altering decisions when you are feeling down. Your feelings are a warning sign that you are thinking way too much.
    It is better to be happy than to be right. It is better to choose authentic happiness than to force something which doesn’t even bring you true happiness, just because you know it is your right to have it. You have a greater right to your own peace and stability.
    Give. Give. Give. You will never regret it, truly.
    Give people their rights regardless of if they give you yours. God sees and God knows and God is the best of rewarders.
    Remember who you are…’ –Mufasa (dead), “The Lion King”. You had a personality once, unmarred by cultural drama and you liked yourself. Be who you are and the people who matter will like you. They already do and you don’t even notice it.
    Barring laws of physics, there is no real, objective reality any two people can 100% agree on, only their individual interpretations. When your interpretation of reality seems dramatically different than those of the people nearest to you, stop and ponder and consider their perspectives. Maybe you are not seeing everything as it truly is.
    Here are your priorities you have to keep in balance to be healthy, happy and whole: God, first. Yourself, second. …. Your home, next. Your dearest friends and family, next. Everyone and everything else: leftovers.
    Do yourself a favor and just do the dishes. Now. You will thank yourself in the morning.
    While you’re at it, sweep the floor and burn some incense. Very little work, very nice result.
    Do what you really,really don’t want to do with a positive, childlike glee and laugh at yourself for dreading it so severely.

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  • contd…..

    You are a qualified/gentle/polite and loving woman…but you feel so low when you couldn’t get the best result which you expect….don’t be depressed or stressful….or, don’t blame anyone for your failure..Just say to yourself failure is temporary…KNOW YOUR LIMIT AND ACT ACCORDINGLY….
    Always choose Allah / God. Always choose to obey him. You will never, ever, ever regret it.

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  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-flJ60k-uis

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  • Hi Mona, glad to see you posting again.

    I have been so depressed that I have forgot to drink for days. I did not intend to do this, I just forgot all basic things. It gets to a point where your own self destruct and you just lose all interest.
    It is normal to feel like this… It is how we evolved. We just do these things to protect ourselves.

    Well, I know you already know normal stuff people will say “Get out”, “Meet people” and “think positive” so I will not bore you with that. It did not work for me so maybe it is bad advice.
    I think you just need to come up with some sort of project that you can work on. Something to keep that mind of yours active. Maybe read some inspiring books or watch some movies.

    Try to control your mind. Realise when your having thoughts that bring you down and stop them.

    I read this and found it EXTREMELY helpful.
    http://fieldwork-on-tibetan-buddhism.blogspot.co.uk/2011/01/dalai-lama-on-countering-stress-and.html

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  • So often we find ourselves overwhelmed with emotion after something breaks our routine. What you need to do is re-establish a routine so that you feel worthwhile.

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