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It’s been a long time

It was well needed. I wanted to stay away from everything and people’s opinions. I lacked words to type, but I am fine now.

I have met the past 6 months a lot of different people. Some are strange. I thought I was strange and I didn’t portray my self well, but no. There are many strange individuals out there that are controlled by others. And they will not admit they are being controlled. How can the live like that? Is it their method to stay grounded?

I have no idea. I can’t do it. I have to be my self, and I like to portray different ideas all the time.

What I have noticed in the past that some people never listened to me. They need a bite in the ass in order to change their views. I don’t get it. Did I have to become aggresive in order for those people to listen to me? I will not resort to such methods, but some people baffle me to a point that I want to just sit back and watch and think that peons will always be peons.

For those wondering if I got a new job, then no. I didn’t because I am damn picky and I will not settle for a “job.” I lost count how many offers I rejected. I need a long time career and I am sick of companies taking advantage of me. I am not desperate and I have minimal skills. All I know that some companies want a lot for nothing. It makes me sick and gives me a huge headache as a result.

We are reashing the end of summer and I am glad. I feel that things are changing. We are sitting in a wheel and waiting for it to stop and turn the other way and start spinning again.

I have a lot to say. I am just trying to put my thoughts together and waiting for right moments to explode bit by bit and say them.

I have no idea what people want from me. What they are waiting for? Are they waiting for my downfall? What is a downfall anyways? What can they describe it as? What makes them believe I am at the point? I am still alive and kicking and I have no reason to ever give up.

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2 Comments

  • Hi Mona, so glad to see you back.

    We all need to have no expectations of what others want or do. If we do not expect people to care, do or say then we will not get let down. Expectations are the root to most of our problems.

    I am not an expert in this. I fail in it all the time… But, I do learn from these failings.

    Do you meditate? I know you are religious but I am unaware of how religious you are (Or if you wish to talk about it). I am not religious at all but I find meditation very helpful. It allows me to find the root of what is causing me problems. Once I find this in meditation I remember the feeling of it. Once I start to feel it I can try to stop it… Most people think they can recognize these feelings but that feeling is normally after the event has started. The goal is to stop it before this.
    I know I may sound like I am talking complete gibberish. I hope you can see some sense in what I am saying though.

    Good luck with everything Mona. I really hope you can find some sort of peace and direction.

    Please keep posting. ;-)

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  • Ah, Mona is back. So good to see you writing again, and sorry for not posting on here sooner. The usual problems: lots of work (although interesting), people, girlfriends, etc.

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