Posts in "Advice"

A new me?

A visitor wrote:

“Just had my annual look at your blog. (Not really annual, but it’s a rare visit.) It’s strange… your blog is repetitive, you’re usually unhappy, and yet somehow you’re very likable. Maybe it’s because you’re spirited and honest. I can’t tell if you’re doing something wrong in life, or if you’re just experiencing a “normal” level of dissatisfaction, and you’re just unusually frank in expressing it.

I have been thinking whether I have any “advice” for you. You know, something to say that could be constructively useful. For jobs, I have no clue. I sometimes also visit the blog of ——, another woman in IT, and she just moved to Sweden and loves it, so maybe that’s the answer? And for relationships, well, I have an outrageous suggestion: Become a dominatrix. Yes, I know it’s completely against your values, and if you actually did it, maybe it would just introduce a whole new type of catastrophe to your life; but… I think you need some lateral thinking in that department. You’re holding out for true love and a soulmate in a culture dominated by online hookups. You might end up happier if you resigned yourself to “serial monogamy” like most other women on Earth.

Or, you could just stubbornly remain fixed in your identity and grow old as an I.T. spinster. That’s what freedom to choose means – even the freedom to make the bad choice and stick with it! Because at least it would be *your* choice; an aspect of your life that you and only you had the chance to decide.

Well, that’s the end of this year’s attempt to be wise. <3″

Umm…. where do I even begin to answer this? How would you answer it?

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Missing

I don’t know where to begin. Every day life is just the same. On Monday mornings I have some energy, then quickly on that day around noon I want it to be the weekend. Same routine every week and I don’t know what to do anymore.

Every time I get close to something, my dream is shattered. I always told my self to not give up, but what if I tell my self to let things be. Will that ideology make things appear better or worse for me?

I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. Everything appears to be missing and I can’t reach what I want. I am grabbing to one thing for the time being cause I have nothing else to grab to. I don’t want it, but I got nothing else in life.

As for love, who wants me? I am old, not very good looking in anyones’ eyes, and I don’t belong in my culture. I don’t belong in any culture on a matter of fact. I am just a waste of life. I don’t belong to anything.

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Analyzing things

I usually don’t like writing from work, but it is lunch so what the heck?

I am confused and lost in my own doing. I don’t really know how to express it in a way that is not too personal, although it is my blog, but I feel I need to refrain from being loud sometimes. Hence, that is the reason I don’t write too much.

Well, forget the above and what I said. Let me analyze something else, but it may seem a bit biased. I see that the majority of people that comment on my blog are not Arabs. I have nothing against anyone, but I agree, my older posts did seem that they are leaning towards the culture and not agreeing with its customs. That seems to attract those individuals. As of late, I don’t write much regarding it at all. Why should I?

I have out grown it and I live a very neutral life style. I don’t let Arabs effect me. I don’t live by their rules. I have lived in North America for 2/3 or more of my life. Why should I make it the highlight of my daily life? It is amusing sometimes, but it is just people and a culture.

Am I labeled as one? Well yeah! I like others to know I am Arab. I am a narcissist of being one, but only cause I look the part. I am pretty conservative in nature, and it has nothing to do with my culture. That’s just how I am, and each individual is different and unique in their own way.

I am looking back now at my life, and over half the stuff I don’t even remember or want to be reminded of it. I don’t have any regrets or wish things turned out differently, but there is this feeling inside me that keeps asking, “What I have done to deserve this?”


One last note: Like my new Facebook Fan Page! https://www.facebook.com/officialrebelliousarabgirl/

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A new day

Happy Valentines Day!!

I know, kill me for being a crazy multiple personality type of person. However, think about it, Valentines is not about two people. Valentine spirit is all about the love we share amongst each other! We should all love one another and live in peace and harmony!

I sound like a utopian freakazoid who should be shot! Sounded so gay! Anyways, happy Valentines Day!!

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