That’s my advice for today! lol

I mean it, whomever. I am not mad. I have no reason to be mad. I have a reason to be frustrated and a bit irritated at the moment, but I always have my reasons. I don’t want to act like my old self and think of a million different possibilities, but you know what, this is life. I want to be more positive and carefree, but if I pretend to be that way, then I am not my self.

So, if I tell off people to their face, then don’t blame me. Honestly, I am tired of pretending to be nice. What did it ever get me in life? No where that I want to be. So be it. I am going back to my old self. Screw this fakeness and trying to be happy. I am HAPPY and ANGRY! I have double feelings all time and that’s what characterizes me as MOODY!

Gosh! That felt good to come out of my chest. And I didn’t swear or say anything horrible and shocking! See people, this is what we call being a NORMAL person.

Love you all, but beware.

So, maybe it is not wishes that I want or even dream of. I think it is more of small little gratifications that I seek. Like peace of mind, living a simple and quiet life, and doing things that I love to do on a daily basis. But, if I had all that, wouldn’t I still feel like I need something or I really have to have something in order for my life to have more meaning?

Maybe I am thinking too much here. But I need to write stuff out more often. The past year I have been bottling up emotions and I feel like I am 20 years old and afraid to talk. And why am I afraid to talk? This is a blog and I don’t know why I am holding back those emotions, from like the WHOLE world!

I am not afraid to talk anymore, but at the same time, is talking too much a good thing?

Oh well, at least I feel better that I said what I had to say and really, why am I afraid of?

Nothing.

1. How do you view the events so far and  the leaders who are resisting and killing their people?

2. What do you think the future holds for the middle east?

Please add your comment below and let’s discuss this like civilized people!

Confused Arab Girl said,

Hi Mona!

I have been keeping up with your blog for so long.. I even read the older posts! Hahha I feel like I can relate to the majority of them. I read your one post about your ex, and if I can remember correctly, he left you with no explanation? And later got married to someone from overseas?

Sadly I’m going through somewhat of a similar situation.. I went to school with this guy and he’s been trying to talk to me for awhile. At first I wasn’t interested, and didn’t want anything to do with him. He asked a mutual close friend to talk to me and convince me to give him a chance. I finally did, and we started talking here and there. Than our short conversations few times a week turned into long conversations daily! I honestly thought he was it, we had so much in common. And of course he told me things every girl would want to hear, but it all felt so real! A few months later, he stopped talking to me with no explanation! Weeks went on, then two months later, our mutual friend told me he was getting engaged to a girl from overseas. All those feelings came back, I was in complete shock! I never thought it would come to that, especially after everything he has told me. If he really cared like he said he did, why didn’t he tell me? Was I not worth an explanation? It’s killing me inside to just ask him what happened and why he didn’t just tell me. Had he told me before I don’t think I would be as hurt as I was finding out from someone else. My question is.. should I ask him what happened? Or is it not worth it anymore and just move on? It bothers me so much not knowing what happened, but would knowing what happened hurt me more? So confused!
I would really appreciate your advice!!

Confused Arab Girl

Dear Confused Arab Girl,

I know deep down inside of you you would like to know what happened. Not because you are afraid to get hurt, but you just want to know so you would stop thinking about it. Either way, he left you, you are hurt. End of story. Nothing more to do about it.

I am not sure how much you read, but my story escalated. You can say I found out what he did, no explanation other than being a typical Arab male, and I just forgot about it. A few months later, he contacted me after he saw me (took one glimpse), and then wondered what if. To me, if you are married, it is sinful to even think about someone else. If you are, then frigg, you should not be married at all. He even asked me to meet him for lunch to talk. I am like wtf!

You see, trying to know and getting an explanation or any reason why is pointless. The story ended. The red line has been crossed and that’s it. Anything past that line is pointless, hopeless, and it won’t let you move on with your life.

It is better to move on with your life and make any new choices that you can come up with. It may be new love, new career change, new everything, but you have to change in order to move on.

In my case, I am just preaching. I am forgetting, but I don’t want to deal with such a thing again. I guess after that I have become an incredibly patient person, beyond anyone’s belief, but I have serious temper problems. I blow up the second anyone crosses the line, and I rather just have my own space.

How long will I stay this way? I don’t know. One day things will change, but I guarantee you that being bitter sometimes helps you stop making wrong decisions and think twice from now on.

If anyone has a story or a question to share, please contact me and I will post it!

I am not talking about what we were taught right or wrong religiously. I don’t defy my religion in any way because I believe religion keeps our minds clear and focused on what is supposed to be right. But what if there are things that have no answer in religion from what we were taught and lived by all our lives?

So, forget religion a moment and let’s think deeper within ourselves. To decide if some things are right or wrong are based on how we feel about the situation and the consequence of it. Sometimes we have to make a hard choice to come up with a decision that is defined in our heads as right. But is it 100% right? What is right then? Who decides? Shouldn’t we as individuals decide that for our selves? Maybe our logic and choice of right is not the most acceptable, but do we just stop and just go with what others say?

No, I don’t think so. I believe that we choose what is right or wrong because if we really believe in it, then we have to go by that decision. It is called following your heart. Try it sometimes. Make a decision and only your heart is allowed to decide of its worth. I think that is how new creative ideas come true. Cause no one else believe we can do it but us.

Therefore, begin the year making the right choice by just following your heart.

Fortunately, I got out of the whole group thing a long time ago. I do not participate in any. I don’t even advertise my blog anymore. I have not done so in years! I was in many Arab blog group sites in the past, and some contacted me later to join, but I just don’t want to deal with being part of any clan anymore. If I am part of one, I will get people saying, “You are only doing it to get people to come to your blog and your blog sucks!” If I don’t join, people will say, “Why are you not part of one, who do you think you are!”

Honestly, who cares about the above. Who needs groups to get noticed now a days.

Strangely enough, because I don’t advertise and I don’t go around marketing my self in any way or form, I get people saying that I write this way to just get more and more visitors. I ignite fires just to get noticed. So, explain this to me logically so I can make sense of it all, I do nothing at all but write in my private blog whatever the hell comes into my head, and I do not go around advertising just to get noticed, but my writing is the big NO NO!

Hmm. Yah, that makes sense. Hell, last time I checked this friggen site was a blog where I write run on sentences and have several syntax error. I do not use Microsoft Word to type my blog essays or an English editor to make sure everything is perfect before I click on that damn blue Publish button.

You know what I despise about certain people’s personality? I despise fake people. I despise people that are too anal about other people’s words and like to correct them to just prove how articulate they are. Finally, I despise people that think they can come here and freely insult me, and I know for a fact that they are scared shitless to do it to my face in real life.

I rather stay out of every circle, out of any association with certain people, and just be my SELF: a stubborn, egotistical, selfish blogger who only writes crap on her blog without thinking twice who reads it.

There, I got it out of my chest. I can sleep now.

A month ago I planned to have yesterday off because I was scheduled to work the Sunday before. It was peaceful, relaxing, I watched a movie, I ran some errands, and oh, I had to still wake up at 7 am because I had to get ready for an interview.

Wow, did I say interview? Back up a little bit and think about it. I had Friday planned a month ago! So past Monday, as in 6 days ago, I got a call asking me for an interview on Friday. I was like WTF! What are the odds of having an interview the day I had a day planned off already?

So, I went to an interview for a job that is pretty much the same stuff as I am doing already, but it is at a very big place. Anyways, I hate interviews, but I had to go because I felt like I needed to explore new options before I feel like I am glued to my current job forever. You know how people feel really comfortable in their current positions even though they may not like it very much, but don’t want to look for another and explore better options? Well, that is not me and I feel I am at an age where I need to find new things. I still have lots of energy and I need a change.

Well, I am trying you guys to come up with a business plan, but I need sponsors or a lot of people to back me up. I want to program something big, from scratch, because I feel that I need a back up plan in life.

If anyone is interested with coming up with a great online idea, then please email me to rebelliousarabgirl@gmail.com. I want to start something big. I feel that I am wasting my talents and it needs to be put in to good use.

Only serious people please!

I wanted to write blog after blog the past few days, but I have very important things to do in my life. This blog is not top of the list anymore like it used to be. This blog is purely for discussion of various things that go on in my life and the way I perceive some things when I have time to write them.

I know that many of you have emailed me the past few days with the same thoughts almost. Many of you have claimed that you read my entire site and came up with one conclusion. I find it very funny that people come up with the same conclusions about anything. Can you imagine if that is the case for everything in life? So the conclusion was, “you are rebellious, that means you don’t follow the Arab way of life.”

Honestly, I think I am the most Arabized person that you can meet living in these lands because I follow the ethical essence of being an Arab. Do you follow that? Because being an Arab is not just getting married before you are 25,  having at least 3 kids by 30, being the “good wife,” and living in a happy marriage. If not married, you are secluded from the rest of the circle of being a real Arab. I am taught to be a good person first, for others to accept me for who I am, and to show others the proper way I was raised by following great traditions and morals.

Why is that so hard to understand? Where in my blog did I say or claim that I should HATE everything about being an Arab and act like a total slut? Where do I say that I go around dating a different guy every other week and go clubbing and drinking? Is that how you define rebellion for an Arab girl? Because according to your definition, a Rebellious Arab Girl is a girl who doesn’t follow the rules of being an Arab or even her religion. There are no rules! Believe me. There are raised morals that we all should have learned growing up as part of this culture.

I didn’t chose to be rebellious. It chose me. This blog chose me to be a Rebellious Arab Girl in order to speak up; by proving to others that I don’t need to follow this group of Arabs that think life should be this way and that is it. Unfortunately, as years pass, far too many Arabs are living in diaspora, and a huge gap between the generations have emerged in the past century because of this culture clash. The traditions have slowly diluted to cope with another, and being a true Arab or defining an Arab is becoming harder and harder every day.

All I can say that I am tired of emails that begin with, “please read this to the end,” or “I am sorry I have to say this.” Why apologize or make sure you grab my attention to tell me the negative? I would appreciate it more if you stick up with what you believe in and say, “You know what Mona, I don’t agree with you because so and so.” That I read. Everything else with an introduction of reason to even begin reading it is something I don’t even look at.

I am tired of preaching to the choir. I am going to go back to the days when I started this blog and what my true beliefs are. If you disagree with me, then dare to comment about it in the comment box below. Start a real discussion and stop hiding being a screen name. It is almost the end of 2010 and people represent themselves for who they are with their real photos and their true image. That’s how we accept one another in the real world. We represent who we really are with no shame with what we say or who we are. Why can’t you dare do that?

I need to come up with a new theme for the new year. I am planning a vacation. Yes, a real vacation over Christmas break! Then I can spend my days not making kick ass websites at work, but making a cool one for this blog.

Anyways, I want to ask you guys if you think that change is good. If I get at least a 100 people saying yes that this blog is over due for a makeover, then I will change it. Otherwise, I am sticking to this look. I hope you guys say yes, because when I hit 30, this blog better REPRESENT!

Also, if you want me to add different areas to my site, like a community forum, photo album, vlogs, etc, then tell me in the comments below so I can plan it right. Alright?

The following is so Nostalgic!! Such an evolution..