I don’t want to sound like a feminine, but some things piss me off when it comes to men and women equality in this world. Especially Arabs. I am sure this applies to many other ethnicity, but I am sticking to Arabs because darn it, I know them too well!

I have been bothered lately from the way Arab men think. I talk to some guys, and they are appalled that I used to “like” someone, and for many years. It pisses them off and they stop talking to me. I don’t get it, I am 28. I am not young and naive, and it wasn’t the first guy I liked. If I recall, I think the first guy I ever liked was wen I was 14! Big deal! I am human, and I have feelings. So what about these guys, they never liked before, ever? You expect me to believe that a guy over, I don’t know, 16 years of age never liked any girl before?

Am I the only one that watches Arab TV shows sometimes to know that it is the norm that girls and guys like each other? Way before marriage, some at a very young age, and sometimes like different people before they get married?

So why do guys run away when I tell them about my history? Are their history any better? Some guys hide their entire life at times! I know, I met a few people, and sometimes knowing a person for a long time, makes that history COME ALIVE!

Bleah. Men. Where is that Rebellious Arab Guy who doesn’t take shit from anyone! Who doesn’t live a lie and think he is all that?

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The post from two days ago has spurred a lot of debate. I have avoided answering comments regarding the issue and decided to read what every person said twice. I gave every one of you twice the chance and two days! I have closed off the comments there because I noticed people were fighting with one another, and I did not want to get in the middle of it.

I think there was a bit of confusion on the entire subject matter. I got many very angry emails, concerned emails, psychological analysis emails, facebook messages, comments, etc, in the past two days. People’s real perception and understanding of why I said what I said was completely skewed and went off to another tangent. I was talking about a certain group of people from the past. That was all. I wasn’t talking about the present. I was not talking about people from this day and age that I know. I was not talking about people that I am even friends with.

Most of you have been reading each other’s comments on the previous post, so I won’t reiterate those. I will comment on a few key points that people kept mentioning and started fighting over.

Typical Arab Girl

Define the typical Arab girl to me? Please. I would like to know who she is. Introduce me to her and let me analyze her life style, and then I will tell you if she is even close to being an Arab. Last week, I went to the hair stylist, and the guy that did my hair was Palestinian/Lebanese. He said this to me, and it was probably the most astounding truthful thing an Arab ever said to me. If the guy was not married I would be all over him. (He was cute!) So, he said this, “Arabs here don’t even know the meaning of being an Arab. They pretend to be Arab and they think that speaking a language is enough to define them as being ones. Being an Arab is more. It is a lot more. It’s that fiery essence that non-Arabs don’t understand. It’s the will power and drive to love the true culture and morally great traditions. It doesn’t matter if you are Christian or Muslim. The true Arab is hard to find now a days.”

So tell me, where is that typical Arab girl? Or better yet, where is that typical Arab guy? Is it you? I will tell you this. Maybe I am was that typical Arab girl that people now a days define. However, now, I AM the REAL Arab girl. I am the fiery essence that is trying to find those real Arabs. Arab women and men fought in wars. They spoke to each other face to face. They are treated equally. God said that he will judge each person the same. Man or woman! When YOU people tell me to act like the typical Arab girl, then you pretty much defined the modern term of the phrase. Which is not me. I apologize that I WILL NOT BOW DOWN to anyone except God! I will NOT degrade my self to the new modern definitions and misunderstood traditions that some of you think is one of the primary answers to marriage.

The typical Arab girl in this day does not have an opinion. She is a slave to her husband. The words that comes out of her mouth are carefully weighed to satisfy her audience. She doesn’t step out of the box of the new made up traditions and be her own self. Why you think the rest of the world thinks that Arabs are backwards and women are treated badly? It’s because women themselves don’t want to think outside of that box anymore, and try to be something more than what society expects them to be. Like I mentioned a few weeks back about the coffee serving tradition. That’s how low Arabs have become. They judge a girl by her servitude to others. That’s exactly what they are doing by applying such a tradition to Arab girls as a judgment for marriage.

Compromise

Of course we all compromise. Why were you people trying to explain to me something that I already knew? We all compromise. We argue, we give our opinions, we come to a conclusion to satisfy each party. That’s the way the world SHOULD work. However, no one should degrade themselves or agree in order to satisfy the other, but they are not even close to satisfying themselves.

Emails

I got a few interesting emails. I decided to share some points within the context of the email that I want to elaborate on.

Person 1 said:

Computer programmer? Why weren’t you a psychiatrist? I completely agree with the bad things happening to good people. Devout Muslims are being labeled terrorists. Pretty girls that mess around marry rich husbands and hide their secrets in the closet. Guys with money mess around and marry innocent girls that are raised to be wed off. Some guys are dogs, some girls are bitches. “That’s just the way it is”. Dont think about stuff too much or you will lose your grip on reality. Canada must be crap eh…

This person did not leave a valid email. Why? No clue. That’s their choice to be honest. This email pretty much sums up how life is now a days. Maybe it has been like this for a long time. Who knows. However, if I think too much, I won’t loose grip on reality. It actually makes me cringe from disgust on how reality really is. It opens my eyes to the truth. Reality is horrible and sometimes I wish I can shut it off because it is painful.

Person 2 said:

… I think the difficulty you are having is the same difficulty that I am having right now. Although you deny it and you may not want to admit it, I think you may still have feelings for that guy and that’s why it’s harder for you to move on. Well, maybe its not him you need to let go, but the way you felt when you were with him.

The person that wrote this email was briefly a friend of mine, and he has been realizing over time that finding a real Arab girl who actually tells people her real feelings is not easy to find. However, I didn’t get a chance to answer that part of his email. I was pretty sure that he wasn’t the only one that thought that was the reason I say some of the things that I say. Hmm. No. You see, the past is a great lesson to all us. It makes us grow and make better decisions for the future. Why would I have feelings towards a typical two faced living a double life selfish bastard? You tell me if that is logical?

We need to be honest here and explain a few things. I was a typical Arab girl with him. I was the most typical every day Arab girl that you would ever meet. Was it good enough? No. I tried and I tried. Then one day I quit trying. I saw how bad it was to act a certain way to satisfy someone else. I saw how it felt to be degraded to make someone else happy.

One day I exploded. One day I said to my self that I had enough. This is not a life. This is NOT what I want from this life. This is exactly the opposite of what I was meant to be in this life. I want to be someone who is respected. Someone who works hard to achieve higher goals in life. I want to be recognized for my talents, and my life’s achievements. I didn’t want to be judged by my salary. I didn’t want to be judged by the people that I talked to, if they were an Arab or non-Arab, or a girl or guy, and if the conversation that I had with them was proper to his standards. I didn’t want to be judged by every action and every word that came out of my mouth.

I was in rage. I was mad. I was not going to sit quiet anymore and accept this typical Arab life style. It was not me. It was not meant to be me.

Therefore, I raged. I rebelled. I made this website because I could not stand it anymore. I knew I was not the problem. I knew I was not the only one. Guy or girl. Arab or non-Arab. Why the hell do we conform with traditions or rules that satisfy everyone else but us? Is it right? Is this life?

I am not a doormat. I will never be.

Negative Thoughts

Some have pointed out that I am very negative and should be a bit more optimistic. Sure. Optimism is good. However, I have to disagree. I think pessimism is better because it DRIVES US to do greater things. If we are optimistic all the time, then we would only sit and wait for good things to happen. That’s not me. What drives me every day is the NEGATIVES that I want to change to POSITIVES in any way I can. I will complain. I will try to fix. I will try to challenge others. I will speak out. I will not sit down and take it anymore. Positive my ass. Sure.. think positive. Forget the negatives, but when they come to you, hope to God you are ready. I doubt you have any idea then how to solve them.

If every person thought positively then we will still be living in caves. We would be hoping that a space ship created by some aliens crash lands infront of us with all the answers that we thought positively that one day will happen. Stop living a dream! Challenge your self. Think of the worse case scenarios so you will end up thinking of better ways to fix them and make them better. That’s why God gave us brains to think. God didn’t say to sit and wait. He said work hard and he will help us achieve our dreams if we were meant to achieve them.

This is life. Accept it! Also, STOP denying the facts of life and reality, and wake up from your dreams. I woke up the hard way. I was hit by a stone and told to wake up.

Wake up! Wake up!

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I don’t mean those good people in a political sense, or religious sense. I mean it in an every day life sense. Us human beings. Why the good people who have never done anything wrong in life are sometimes unlucky?

When I was in my early 20′s, most of the girls that I knew were obviously in my age group. Most of them are married now. They actually got married long time ago. Thinking about it now, they have been married for over 6 years now, some more. I just keep looking back and thinking, why them? They weren’t that good. They did many bad things that if a typical Arab guy knew about it, he would never even think of this girl. But how are these girls first to get married to nice good guys?

Do these girls lie about their life? Do they pretend to be perfect (religious wise, culture wise, etc)? Maybe. I think that is the only way. Half of them got engaged 2 or 3 weeks after meeting a guy. Which I don’t understand. Do they even know each other? Is the overall appearance and what she perfectly says to other people is what a girl is judged by? Is that all?

It seems to be that way. I keep seeing many girls get married that way. They live their life and do whatever, and they are usually the girls that I label as horribly bad and done so many sinful things, and no respectable guy should even look at her. Yet, they are the first to get married. And the good girls, who do nothing, barely anyone looks at them.

It makes me wonder why life is like that. Why some girls who are good, never did anything bad in their life, don’t go anywhere or even stay out of the house at night, are the unlucky ones?

Maybe I am just talking here about how unlucky I am. I have been seeing all those girls that had so many relationships, or do things behind their parent’s back, or God knows what else they do, are the ones that can find a guy who easily wants to marry them just like that.

Yet, my luck, guys don’t like me cause of what I say on a blog, or because I have an overly conservative lifestyle and don’t get involved with many people or care about them, or that I say my opinion and don’t act like a total air head that agrees with any guy to get noticed and wants to get married.

Life is seriously unfair. I guess I am tired and lonely again. It sucks to be me. I feel that no one will ever like me for who I am. I don’t think any Arab guy will. Oh well, I guess I have to keep the faith that one day, some guy, will actually accept me for the real me. I don’t think I know how to be fake and lie like those girls. I don’t think I know how or want to. That’s not a life to live. Not at all.

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