I am not that young! I keep getting the ladies at work calling me hon! Or dear! And asking if I still live at home! OMG! Yah, welcome to my life now. I work with all grownups. The only ones that look young, because they are young, are the technical people. Which is me and someone else! The rest of the office are middle aged or almost retirement age ladies. Some even got grand kids! I still need someone to take care of me. You think I do my own laundry?

Good thing I realized from the beginning that I cannot converse with them. I don’t even converse much with anyone because I am so busy all day long to do that. Anyways, I am single. I don’t wear the wedding ring that symbolizes the eternal attachment to some lunatic guy who will accept such a crazy girl like me. And worse, I look like a 20 or 21 year old!

Bohoo! I want to grow up! I know I will not get wrinkles till I am 50 like my mom, unlike such fair skinned people who get wrinkles when they are 30. Jeez! Also, I will not start using the phrase, “25 years ago I graduated from University” till much later in life, but dammit!!!! I am 28, almost 29 years old! I know I cannot engage in a conversation about a husband, kids, mortgage, house expenses, but I can talk about … hmm … I can talk about … hmm.. ok I give up. To be normal I got to get married ASAP. Where can I find such a loser Arab guy who will accept me working 8.5 hours a day, and getting home dead tired to do anything else? Who wants to do the chores!!

Ahh.. I feel like I am soon going to have to grow up to fit in into this grownup society. Maybe I will think about this blog post again when I am 30. Let me enjoy the rest of my 20’s for now!

Advice, Blah Blah, Confused, Funny, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!

A lot of people in the past have asked me why am I always angry? Why am I always defensive? It really has nothing to do with my personality or anything. I kind of picked it up from other Arabs around me. Kind of thing that effects you from your culture and you just cannot help it.

Yes, us Arabs tend to get a bit overly angry at times. We are always triggered by the smallest things in life, and we cannot for the life of us learn to control our anger. We are just hot blooded people.

But, why?

You see, most of us Arabs came from ruined countries, wars, messed up political systems, and totalitarian states. So, Arabs that leave those countries have a reason to, but you cannot change their behaviour. So there is always something inside of them that is about to burst out!

If I ever meet a laid back Arab, I would say, “My brotha from another motha! What did you put in that sheesha!? Ah?”

[source]

By the way, I don’t smoke anything, and I never in my life tried smoking sheesha. Maybe that’s my problem?

Advice, Blah Blah, Culture, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!

Today is another one of those fun blog posts where I rip apart people’s Google search phrases to my site! Oh boy, I got some good ones today.

A typical search engine phrase coming to my site is porn related obviously. I get thousands of those a day. They are not interesting at all. However, some can be fun to read and comment on. Others, well, they bring shame to the meaning of being a conservative culture. Their culture messed them up so much, that they look for the BAD, and in return, they get the MONA!

Some phrases and a giggle or two!

1. Problems of loving an Arab

I understand your utter frustration and going through some hurdles in loving my people. However, think of the root of the problem. You are dealing with a brain washed culture. You need to penetrate through that barrier and try go deep within.

Actually, let me stop. That just sounded bad and sort of horny. Ok, hmm, good luck loving one of us if you are not one of us!

2. How to marry Arabian women

Why do you want to marry that many women? Are you insane!! One is enough. More than one and you won’t be dealing with multiple sleeping partners for only your sexual pleasures, but you will be dealing with 24 hour cat fights! Save your self now!!

3. I don’t like talking about sex in public

Really? Why do you search for it online then? Isn’t the interweb sort of a public thing? However, I do feel your frustration. Talking about human reproductive parts and intimacy in public is kind of hard. Try blogging about it instead! Like me!

4. Jealousy Arab men

I don’t mind the jealousy that much. I feel special that someone cares. However, too much jealousy is bad. Actually, Arab guys are super jealous sometimes. It does get annoying. Best solution? Hmm, try to be even more jealous than him, and see how he feels. That always works!

5. Time for a change girl

*Snapping my fingers* I know home girl! That’s what I try to do sista!

6. Girl stare at you

If you are a guy, then she is checking you out. If you are a girl, then she is cursing you in her head and wishing you will die, because you have something she does not have!

7. How to attract Arabic girl

Money and looks are not gonna cut it. Try having a personality first.

8. Have you ever had a feeling that you are so close

Close to what? Do I want to know? Should I stop thinking now of what this person means!

9. What’s the matter? Too spicy for you?

Nop! Just sizzling HOT! Meoow! And I have a very sick mind!

10. Why are girls so stupid?

Why are guys so stupid? This could be a never ending circle of stupidity you know.

11. Muslims are fair skinned

What bubble do you live in? Can I come over and burst it with a sharp knife?

12. Why everyone hates Capricorns?

Because we are pure evil and selfish. What kind of question is this?

13. If you had to describe the silliest thing people do what would it be?

Reading this blog. I feel sorry for you people. Tsk! Tsk!

14. What does “ya lahwi” mean?

It means, OH MY GOD!!! NO WAY!

15. How are Arab girls thoughts?

Messed up and all over the place. Ask me. I should know.

16. What do you think of Arabs?

Meh. They are ok.

17. I want to marry girls

Try one girl first. Why so many? One is enough to deal with.

18. How do you say dumb in Arabic for a girl?

Mastooly. Habla. Bala 3a2el. Etc.

19. How to kiss Arabic girl?

Umm. Hmm. Umm.

20. What’s the word for insanity?

Rebellious Arab Girl.

Advice, Blah Blah, Confused, Culture, Funny, Random Thoughts, Religion, They said what?, Whatever!

This is going to be a long ranting post. So read on if you enjoy such a thing. I do. I love ranting. I feel that I can get everything out of my system and for the whole world to read!! And I honestly don’t care who reads it. What do I gain or lose if they read it? Nothing.

So, I am sick of looking for work. I am sick of going to interviews and trying to sell my self. I feel so violated. Selling my self? Sounds so wrong. Not only that, I have to fabricate a bunch of stories about my past and how awesome my work was and the things I did. Why lie? Why? Who am I kidden? My self? People? Don’t employers know that if you lie, you will get caught sooner or later? Like they can tell you know shit!

Actually, some companies are smart and will figure out if you know shit from the first interview. Some smart companies give you a test. I got some of those tests before, and oh boy! It felt like I was taking the final exam of all exams and was worth 100% of my overall final mark! Wow! It is scary. I start sweating and praying to the almighty Lord, and for those atheists, I am sorry, I believe in God. I have to. It makes sense to little me who needs to have a little bit of faith in life just to survive and sleep at night.

So interviews suck, and I know my luck. There is never hope. Getting a job now a days, in such a messed up world with unstable economy, is like winning the lottery. And I am known to be an unlucky person in everything that goes on in my life. So all I do is rant rant rant. And for those that know me and follow my blog, really really really hate me complaining about work. A reader of my site named Oussama commented on my Mundane is the Name from last week’s post where I complained that I am toast! No one will hire me and I have no motivation to do so! He bluntly told me that I should stop wasting companies time if I have no intention in doing well or caring about looking for work. I agree. I cannot do well, and I so can’t look for work. So I stopped looking for work. I did Oussama and everyone else a favour. Happy people?

Why look for work? Start my own business!

Sure, I can start my own business, but you see, I sat at home for many months contemplating if this is the lifestyle that I want. Do I want to be a web entrepreneur full time and venture into the unknown? So I tried. I wrote down ideas! I wrote down many ideas and possibilities! However, I lacked motivation. I needed someone to tell me, do it. Do it now! Do it dammit! MONA START WORKING! What are you waiting for Mona? Are you waiting for all the money in the bank to deplete? Are you waiting for a miracle from God and money to start pouring down like rain?

What are you waiting for Mona? You cannot start a business or anything! You need motivation!

So, who is willing to motivate me? You see, the problem is that I lack faith in my self. I don’t know why or how that happened. I was never like this. I think I started losing faith in my self every time I got rejected from a company after an interview. And believe me, I went to a lot of interviews. Obviously, my resume rocks and I stand out. That was never a problem. My problem was that I couldn’t put all my thoughts in one place, and since I am a 100% introverted person, being interviewed by more than one person scared the hell out of me. I would always feel my heart racing, the palm of my hands start sweating like crazy, and I start forgetting my name. And oh my name. MONA IS SUCH AN EASY NAME TO FORGET!

So I stopped looking for work. I don’t want to ever go to an interview again and feel like I am having a heart attack while trying to sell whatever skills I have. I think I have skills. I think I am smart. However, do they know that? Do they believe that? Who will believe it when my heart is racing so fast and I am about to have an anxiety attack?

Many people told me that the only way, especially in this city of mine, is to network. You must know many people Mona. You need to network and keep friendships with people that will help you get a job in the future. Sure!! I thought about it. I really did. However, I feel like a two faced suck up who only wants to make friends with you just so you can help me out! It’s like you owe me something in return of a fake friendship. I don’t want anyone to owe me anything or me owing them anything! I don’t want to get a job knowing that someone else had a hand in it. I feel like I owe them that for life! That’s not me. I can’t do it.

You see, the only thing I didn’t lose so far in life is knowing that I can do it. I think I can do it on my own. Why not? What’s wrong with me? Other then being a very introverted person who has been lacking faith in her self? Well, only because I kept getting rejected! I hate being rejected! Getting rejected sucks ass! It’s the worse feeling on earth, and that’s why I stopped going to interviews or looking for work. I hate rejection! But, I hate feeling that I can only get a job because I know people that know other people! What is this, a job market or mafia?

My people will call their people and will try to hook you up by at least getting you an interview. ??????

I can GET AN INTERVIEW by my self dammit! I don’t need that! I revamped my resume and it rocks! It is the best looking resume ever! Straight forward and to the point! This is me! Like it or not! I will go to an interview if you believe in me! Not because someone else told you that she can do it! Don’t put this idea in my head that the only way to find work now a day is through networking. I am a social networker! Look at me! I have a blog! I have hundreds of Facebook friends! I have several hundreds and even over a thousand Twitter friends! I can social network. I can talk to people who know people. However, is that what I want? To use them to find me a job!? I want good friends in my life, and be happy. Not to use them!

Mona, YOU CAN GET A JOB without any help! That’s what I keep telling my self. That’s the only faith I have left in my self. That’s what kept me going, but I gave up today. I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t look for work anymore. I am tired of it. I don’t know what to do anymore. Anyone knows? What can I do anymore!!

[source]

So, I wrote this post 3 days ago, and people are wondering and waiting. They are wondering what I am talking about. Maybe I was talking about work. Maybe they are waiting for that final decision in my life that I will make. And yes, it was that I will stop going to interviews cuz I am sick and tired of them. I am sick of looking for work. It’s a tiring process that exhausts your well being. I cannot do it anymore. I am exhausted.

I wrote this,

I really wanted to write a very smart, clever, and sophisticated blog post today. However, due to unruly circumstances that are beyond my control, I was only allowed to write two sentences today.

Then I decided to cheat and add two more!

Stay tuned!

Some people wondered. Some people are waiting, and one person named Tekkaus asked me to add two more sentences to complete the thought by saying:

Clever with words….but too bad we have to wait huh! Perhaps more than 2 sentences in your next post? :p ….

So, I will finally do him and the rest of you a favour and add two more sentences to relieve everyone, and I promise this is going to be it. No more ranting about looking for work, because I gave up. I really did.

Here it goes. Two more sentences:

I got hired today.

I will start tomorrow morning.

Advice, Blah Blah, Confused, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!

Here is a thought that has been puzzling me throughout this blog’s lifetime and people’s constant ranting emails. If a person asks questions about his/her culture, traditions, religion, people, life, anything, whatever, does that mean that the person is betraying their families and roots? They should be ashamed of themselves, and they need guidance? No one should rant or complain about life because it is wrong to do so? Who came up with that shit? If that is the case, we would still be living in the dark ages!

I think sometimes it is wrong to have a brain and think about something that is beyond what is known to us.

I am going to mention this again, the problem with the world is: misunderstandings, miscommunication, and ignorance. God help us all!

Advice, Angry, Blah Blah, They said what?, Whatever!