My own people. Typical.

Why do I have rebellious thoughts? You see, Arabs hate one another, or they either love one another. Have any of you heard of the Arab League? You know, where 22 Arab country leaders meet to fight with one another and come to no conclusion, or to a conclusion that could have been applied a year ago.

Arabs would rather hate one another and care more about destroying one another, then helping each other. It’s like that in every culture, but with Arabs, they make it an obligation and a way of life to take revenge on anyone they hate and can’t stand. They will have that blackest heart till the day they eat their revenge or die! Even if it is their own brother or sister!

Am I ashamed of being an Arab? NO! I love being an Arab because I have a blog where the majority of my visitors are not Arab. They like me for being me whom happens to be an Arab. Because of that, many Arabs out there with no life hate me.

Keep on hating, that’s the only thing most Arabs are able to do successfully. The world is advancing, and they are still hating! Where will hatred lead you? Ah?

Advice, Angry, Blah Blah, Culture, Random Thoughts, Whatever!

I was thinking of making another website to start a custom Wordpress template business. However, I was too lazy to do that right now and I need people’s opinions first. I know some of you wanted to know how I made this template, or want your own custom template. Sure. Ok. Since I am super duper bored, and I need to work for at least 7 hours a day on something, I have decided to start making custom Wordpress templates.

However, before I begin or buy a domain or do anything, I want to see what people will roughly pay for one, because I don’t know how much to sell it for, and what options to sell with the template.

I decided that if you pay $500, I will make you one custom Wordpress template, one year free domain name that you choose and must be available, I will host it forever for free, I will upgrade it for you, and do any technical tweaks you need. Great deal eh?

So, what do you think, and if anyone’s 100% interested then email me to rebelliousarabgirl@gmail.com.

Why am I doing this? I told you I am bored, and I am also frustrated from many bloggers that use the same free templates. I can’t even tell the difference anymore in people’s blogs. This is also a good opportunity for people that use blogger.com to move to Wordpress, get free hosting, and an awesome looking site. I also think this is a great opportunity for people who never had a blog before to start with a great looking site! I just want the blogging world to be eccentric and stand out.

I can make templates look cute, funky, business like, etc.

Advertising, Advice, Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Sleepy Post, Whatever!

I need to start looking for someone, or for new friends. The older I am getting, the quicker I am losing friends because they are moving on with their lives. They either find a significant other that occupies their time, they are moving on with greater and better things, getting engaged, or getting married, etc. So what does that leave me? Old and alone. So time to find Mr. Right, or new friends.

It’s hard to find single friends my age that are Arabs. 90% of them are married with 5 kids by now, and they are too preoccupied with family matters. And if you are not like them, or living a similar life like them, then you are not worth their time. They don’t want to deal with you or want a single friend around, especially around their husbands or boyfriends.

So what am I to do? I am sick of sitting home all day with no one to talk to. No one bothers to see how I am, or care to ask. Like really care to ask, out of their hearts, and not because they need something. They call me or SMS like crazy trying to find me because they want something. Why no one ever calls or messages me to ask me how I am? Maybe I am sick. Maybe I am dying. Do they care? No. No one does.

I just feel the days are just running by, and I am just watching. I keep asking my self, why me? What did I do to deserve this?

That’s why I am getting really irritated lately finding work. Because in my head, if I find a new job, I can find new friends, and new people to talk to. Something new. I just want to fill my time, and talk to people. The job hunt is making me so depressed and lonely. It got to the point where I ask my self, who will ever hire me again? What am I to do all day?

I keep trying to find something to do, other than write on this blog, but all I end up doing is reading books or watching TV. I don’t have the urge to do anything else or talk to anyone. I just feel that no one will ever understand what I am going through, and end up lecturing me or telling me their great life stories that makes me feel so low and insignificant in their eyes.

I am telling you, I doubt I will ever find work again. I quit my old job because I couldn’t stand working there anymore with the people there. However, I didn’t think that finding a job was that difficult. I quit the old job to give me a boost and better reason to find work. Yet, it is March now.

I can’t even go to the mall anymore or shop or anything. I just feel guilty if I ever buy anything. I am well off financially, but just the thought of buying anything makes me ask my self a million questions. Why am I buying this? Where am I going to wear this at? It is just getting frustrating that I am suffering from a horrible psychological disease again. No. Not depression. I suffer from that daily. However, now I am suffering from Trichotillomania.

If you are wondering what it is, I will explain it in simple terms. I keep pulling hair from my head from the roots. I do it uncontrollably and unconsciously. I used to do it way back, a few years ago, maybe 5 or 6 years ago, but now, I am at it again. My room is filled with hair. Long pieces of hair on my floor or in the family room. I just don’t stop. Why do I do it? Simple. My brain is actively thinking and won’t stop. The more I think, the more I end up pulling hair from the roots. It needs to stop!

I want it to stop. I want my life to change so bad. I am getting extremely frustrated.

Advice, Angry, Blah Blah, Culture, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, Sleepy Post, They said what?, Whatever!

Many people try to force advice on me because they think they:

1. Are more experienced
2. Are in a better position in life
3. Want to show off
4. Want to really help in their own obscure way that only worked for them, and they think it can work for everyone else
5. Want to appear that they have a heart and doing a good deed
6. Think they are the best at what they do, and can throw advice around like gold pieces
7. Can give wrong advice in order for you to not succeed like them

[Source]

I have learned to act like a deaf person and disregard their advice. I know, you are wondering why I am as stubborn as a goat (hint. Capricorn Curse), but I have my reasons. You know when you spend your life listening to people, following their advice, learning from them, hoping that one day you will end up like them, then, one day, you get struck by lightning and realize that some things work for some people. However, it doesn’t for you!

Advice is purely empty talk. You either take it or leave it. I used to take it a lot, because I thought more experienced or older people are well off. They know their stuff. They can help me out. In reality, they just want to show off and force advice on you, because if it miraculously works out in your favour, then they win! They have done something in your favour. You owe them. Not material things, or returned favours. But you owe them their name. They will keep bragging on that they did something great for you! That people should follow them now because they can provide favours and great advice. “Listen to me”, they say. “Look how things worked out for so and so because of what I said!”

I say, let people lead their own lives. Let things happen the way it is intended to happen. If I didn’t ask for help or advice or whatever from you, then I don’t need to hear it. I don’t want anyone to tell me how things should be done. I think you live and learn on your own from trials and errors. However, trying to contribute and force your ideas on someone really makes that person a bit weary of you, and not wanting to hear anymore of it. It’s enough people like me, if there was someone like me out there, don’t want anymore pressure in life.

I think forced advice is pressure. I think the more you give it to some people, the more they feel that they are leading their lives the wrong way and have to change it. The advice you are giving to others is like trying to control them and changing them to the way you want.

Maybe some people need to back off and try to mind their own business. Not everyone wants to hear advice. Some people like me are sick of it and it causes more pressure than we can already handle in life.

Advice, Blah Blah, Confused, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!

You must have a list of 20+ skills to even be considered.

Computer programmers are the most unfortunate people. If they don’t know EVERYTHING than they are never considered. And if they don’t have 10+ years experience since they are 10 years old, then they are said to have limited experience, even with a Bachelor’s of Computer Science.

I keep looking on job boards daily for something that will grab my interest. What do I find instead? Well, for example, how about a web programmer? The job is purely scripting and it is useless easy crap that I can do in my sleep. So why does the job ask for C++, C, Java, J2EE, Visual Studio, .Net, Perl Scripting, Networking, IP socket programming, blah blah blah, plus exceptional interpersonal skills where you must have the ability to work with any asshole! I am like what the fuck? Is this a web programming job or a pure developer job for some enterprise software package?

So, I have limited experience. I agree, because my stupid old job was limited and I did crap. Thank God I learned some web programming, because everything else I ever did was nothing. Now I know why I unconditionally complained about my old job and I resigned before I lost my sanity. It was pure crap that I did that brought me to where I am today. Back to square one.

It got to the point where I am embarrassed to go to interviews. 6 years of work in the same place, and there is nothing to really talk about. Like I mentioned earlier, the web programming and design is the only thing I got out of it, but you know what sucks? Web programming jobs now a days are asking for a high school diploma. I am like what the hell? I am in the wrong field. I need to either be serious and work on a few independent projects and start looking for online clients, or change my career completely. The Information Technology field is crap, and those people that conduct interviews know nothing about it. They just want someone with ALL the skills. A person that can do 2 or 3 people’s worth of work. They want computer human like ROBOTS!

I don’t know what to do now. I have some ideas, and I have EXCEPTIONAL design skills. I also have an attractive writing style. So I wonder what I can do with those in order to actually call it a full time job and get paid as a full timer. No company wants to hire me because I have limited skills and I did nothing worth their time for 6 years, and I am not a lying suck up like many people. Time to search for entry level jobs, because I did NOTHING!

I think it is about time to start plan B. I always wondered who is crazy enough to hire me again. I am sure that in 10 – 15 years, when I start hiring other people, I will be a complete inconsiderate insensitive bitch, just for pure savory revenge.

Advice, Angry, Blah Blah, Confused, Ranting as usual!, Whatever!