1. How do you define friendship?

2. What makes a friendship special?

3. Do you think a real friend should put you at the same level as other friends?

4. Do you think that a friend who is better off and living their life in peace should be more considerate to your circumstances?

5. What if a friend prefers the company of others because you are not as interesting, and only comes to you when in need of advice or solution to a problem?

6. What if a friend backstabs you?

7. What if a friend only needs you when they want to gain something from your knowledge or skills?

8. What if a friend ignores you for 4 or 5 months, some even a year or two, then suddenly tries to call like everything is normal?

9. What if an ex-friend comes back to you after months and says, “let’s be friends again,” like nothing has happened?

If you answered all the above, or came up with a solution to some of the questions, then answer this:

10. How do you define a best friend?

I would really like your opinion on this in the comments area here. Not on Facebook!

Advice, Random Thoughts

Well, I will discuss something else for the day since I have been gloomy and just sitting at home doing nothing productive. How about we discuss my non-meat eating habits? I don’t eat red meat or chicken. However, I eat shrimp once in a while and fish sticks (I don’t really like eating fish. :mrgreen: ) I eat fishie things so I wouldn’t call my self vegetarian, because I don’t want anyone to think I am.

[source]

So, every day now, I get asked by my dad in a concerned tone of his, “when will you eat meat again? Do you have a time frame or it will end spontaneously?” And I keep answering angrily, “I just don’t want to eat meat!” It is getting annoying. I don’t understand why it bothers him so much or even anyone. Everyone I talk to asks me, “why don’t you eat meat? When are you going to end this?” What does it matter to you? Will it make you feel better if I did? Will you feel that you have accomplished a good deed if you convinced me to eat meat again?

You are talking here to the most stubborn human on earth. I think I decided I don’t want to eat it, because I don’t want to! End of story. However, has not eating meat really changed anything in me?

Well, here is the thing, I didn’t just stop eating meat, I stopped drinking pop or soda. I also seldom ever drink juices. I don’t eat anything deep fried, and I drink more water than an average fish.

How did this effect me overall? Well, nothing drastically changed that much except, I hardly get any zits, I don’t go to the bathroom every 30 minutes from eating fried stuff and soda, I don’t feel bloated half the day and sick to my stomach, and my skin is a lot clearer and smoother because I eat fishie things. So pretty much, I feel better physically. I am not going to suggest you should stop eating meat, or change your eating habits the way I did. It takes a lot of effort and strong will power. It can help you control your self a bit more.

The downside is, I drink 3 mugs of coffee and 3 – 4 mugs of tea a day. Surprisingly, my teeth are not yellow yet and I doubt they ever will, but my brain is numb half the day! Amen to that!

Advice, Blah Blah, Categorize this!, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!

I had an interesting conversation with Lisa yesterday at a coffee shop about perfection. Why do people always strive for perfection? What is perfection? Who is perfect? What is perfect? Define perfect.

This question have been bothering me for many years. The older I got, the more I realized that people around me do whatever they can to be “perfect.” However, I never figured out exactly what people were perfecting themselves for. How did they come up with a standard for perfection?

Sometimes people from a city define perfection in a certain way. Sometimes an entire ethnicity defines perfection in a way to separate themselves from other ethnic groups in the world. Sometimes a family has a certain standard for perfection that separates them from other families. But in the end, perfection cannot be achieved. It can never be achieved naturally.

The moment you try to come up with a certain standard for the way of life and label it as perfect, then you inevitably end up with two groups of people: those who rebel and refuse to follow it, and those who spend their entire life lying to themselves in order to appear “perfect.” What is better? Living a lie, or living the life you want?

I think that is my problem. It is Lisa’s problem too, and many others as well. We grew up as individuals. We were taught to take responsibility for our actions, and for our life. We got educated, employed, and became useful to the world in order to feel like we are achieving something daily. Yet, when someone out there tells us that we must follow a standard of perfection, because it is the acceptable way in everyone else’s eyes, then what was the point of the former if the latter is the only way to be accepted?

People out there are different. I am not like you. You are not like me. We can never be. That’s just the way life is.

Naturally, I swayed away from perfection. Because the more someone told me that I have to follow the rules, the more I felt like a peace of my soul is being taken away. I understand that we all have to follow some type of rules in order to fit in culturally, but when can we tell others, “I had enough. This is not the way I want to live my life. I can’t live like this forever.”

So, I finally figured out why over 3 years ago I made this blog, and why I chose the word rebellious. I finally figured it out. I don’t like to be constrained to anything at all. I tried so hard to follow perfection, and I kept trying to do so year after year. However, I couldn’t. I just couldn’t lie to my self. Inevitably, the harder you try to tame a wild animal since the day it was born, the more of a savage beast it will become, and it will try to escape the unnatural settings in any way it can.

Striving for perfection, or thinking you are perfect, I don’t think it can ever be achieved. I think it is about time you tell your self that.

Advice, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!

I don’t want to sound like a feminine, but some things piss me off when it comes to men and women equality in this world. Especially Arabs. I am sure this applies to many other ethnicity, but I am sticking to Arabs because darn it, I know them too well!

I have been bothered lately from the way Arab men think. I talk to some guys, and they are appalled that I used to “like” someone, and for many years. It pisses them off and they stop talking to me. I don’t get it, I am 28. I am not young and naive, and it wasn’t the first guy I liked. If I recall, I think the first guy I ever liked was wen I was 14! Big deal! I am human, and I have feelings. So what about these guys, they never liked before, ever? You expect me to believe that a guy over, I don’t know, 16 years of age never liked any girl before?

Am I the only one that watches Arab TV shows sometimes to know that it is the norm that girls and guys like each other? Way before marriage, some at a very young age, and sometimes like different people before they get married?

So why do guys run away when I tell them about my history? Are their history any better? Some guys hide their entire life at times! I know, I met a few people, and sometimes knowing a person for a long time, makes that history COME ALIVE!

Bleah. Men. Where is that Rebellious Arab Guy who doesn’t take shit from anyone! Who doesn’t live a lie and think he is all that?

Advice, Blah Blah, Confused, Culture, Random Thoughts, They said what?

The post from two days ago has spurred a lot of debate. I have avoided answering comments regarding the issue and decided to read what every person said twice. I gave every one of you twice the chance and two days! I have closed off the comments there because I noticed people were fighting with one another, and I did not want to get in the middle of it.

I think there was a bit of confusion on the entire subject matter. I got many very angry emails, concerned emails, psychological analysis emails, facebook messages, comments, etc, in the past two days. People’s real perception and understanding of why I said what I said was completely skewed and went off to another tangent. I was talking about a certain group of people from the past. That was all. I wasn’t talking about the present. I was not talking about people from this day and age that I know. I was not talking about people that I am even friends with.

Most of you have been reading each other’s comments on the previous post, so I won’t reiterate those. I will comment on a few key points that people kept mentioning and started fighting over.

Typical Arab Girl

Define the typical Arab girl to me? Please. I would like to know who she is. Introduce me to her and let me analyze her life style, and then I will tell you if she is even close to being an Arab. Last week, I went to the hair stylist, and the guy that did my hair was Palestinian/Lebanese. He said this to me, and it was probably the most astounding truthful thing an Arab ever said to me. If the guy was not married I would be all over him. (He was cute!) So, he said this, “Arabs here don’t even know the meaning of being an Arab. They pretend to be Arab and they think that speaking a language is enough to define them as being ones. Being an Arab is more. It is a lot more. It’s that fiery essence that non-Arabs don’t understand. It’s the will power and drive to love the true culture and morally great traditions. It doesn’t matter if you are Christian or Muslim. The true Arab is hard to find now a days.”

So tell me, where is that typical Arab girl? Or better yet, where is that typical Arab guy? Is it you? I will tell you this. Maybe I am was that typical Arab girl that people now a days define. However, now, I AM the REAL Arab girl. I am the fiery essence that is trying to find those real Arabs. Arab women and men fought in wars. They spoke to each other face to face. They are treated equally. God said that he will judge each person the same. Man or woman! When YOU people tell me to act like the typical Arab girl, then you pretty much defined the modern term of the phrase. Which is not me. I apologize that I WILL NOT BOW DOWN to anyone except God! I will NOT degrade my self to the new modern definitions and misunderstood traditions that some of you think is one of the primary answers to marriage.

The typical Arab girl in this day does not have an opinion. She is a slave to her husband. The words that comes out of her mouth are carefully weighed to satisfy her audience. She doesn’t step out of the box of the new made up traditions and be her own self. Why you think the rest of the world thinks that Arabs are backwards and women are treated badly? It’s because women themselves don’t want to think outside of that box anymore, and try to be something more than what society expects them to be. Like I mentioned a few weeks back about the coffee serving tradition. That’s how low Arabs have become. They judge a girl by her servitude to others. That’s exactly what they are doing by applying such a tradition to Arab girls as a judgment for marriage.

Compromise

Of course we all compromise. Why were you people trying to explain to me something that I already knew? We all compromise. We argue, we give our opinions, we come to a conclusion to satisfy each party. That’s the way the world SHOULD work. However, no one should degrade themselves or agree in order to satisfy the other, but they are not even close to satisfying themselves.

Emails

I got a few interesting emails. I decided to share some points within the context of the email that I want to elaborate on.

Person 1 said:

Computer programmer? Why weren’t you a psychiatrist? I completely agree with the bad things happening to good people. Devout Muslims are being labeled terrorists. Pretty girls that mess around marry rich husbands and hide their secrets in the closet. Guys with money mess around and marry innocent girls that are raised to be wed off. Some guys are dogs, some girls are bitches. “That’s just the way it is”. Dont think about stuff too much or you will lose your grip on reality. Canada must be crap eh…

This person did not leave a valid email. Why? No clue. That’s their choice to be honest. This email pretty much sums up how life is now a days. Maybe it has been like this for a long time. Who knows. However, if I think too much, I won’t loose grip on reality. It actually makes me cringe from disgust on how reality really is. It opens my eyes to the truth. Reality is horrible and sometimes I wish I can shut it off because it is painful.

Person 2 said:

… I think the difficulty you are having is the same difficulty that I am having right now. Although you deny it and you may not want to admit it, I think you may still have feelings for that guy and that’s why it’s harder for you to move on. Well, maybe its not him you need to let go, but the way you felt when you were with him.

The person that wrote this email was briefly a friend of mine, and he has been realizing over time that finding a real Arab girl who actually tells people her real feelings is not easy to find. However, I didn’t get a chance to answer that part of his email. I was pretty sure that he wasn’t the only one that thought that was the reason I say some of the things that I say. Hmm. No. You see, the past is a great lesson to all us. It makes us grow and make better decisions for the future. Why would I have feelings towards a typical two faced living a double life selfish bastard? You tell me if that is logical?

We need to be honest here and explain a few things. I was a typical Arab girl with him. I was the most typical every day Arab girl that you would ever meet. Was it good enough? No. I tried and I tried. Then one day I quit trying. I saw how bad it was to act a certain way to satisfy someone else. I saw how it felt to be degraded to make someone else happy.

One day I exploded. One day I said to my self that I had enough. This is not a life. This is NOT what I want from this life. This is exactly the opposite of what I was meant to be in this life. I want to be someone who is respected. Someone who works hard to achieve higher goals in life. I want to be recognized for my talents, and my life’s achievements. I didn’t want to be judged by my salary. I didn’t want to be judged by the people that I talked to, if they were an Arab or non-Arab, or a girl or guy, and if the conversation that I had with them was proper to his standards. I didn’t want to be judged by every action and every word that came out of my mouth.

I was in rage. I was mad. I was not going to sit quiet anymore and accept this typical Arab life style. It was not me. It was not meant to be me.

Therefore, I raged. I rebelled. I made this website because I could not stand it anymore. I knew I was not the problem. I knew I was not the only one. Guy or girl. Arab or non-Arab. Why the hell do we conform with traditions or rules that satisfy everyone else but us? Is it right? Is this life?

I am not a doormat. I will never be.

Negative Thoughts

Some have pointed out that I am very negative and should be a bit more optimistic. Sure. Optimism is good. However, I have to disagree. I think pessimism is better because it DRIVES US to do greater things. If we are optimistic all the time, then we would only sit and wait for good things to happen. That’s not me. What drives me every day is the NEGATIVES that I want to change to POSITIVES in any way I can. I will complain. I will try to fix. I will try to challenge others. I will speak out. I will not sit down and take it anymore. Positive my ass. Sure.. think positive. Forget the negatives, but when they come to you, hope to God you are ready. I doubt you have any idea then how to solve them.

If every person thought positively then we will still be living in caves. We would be hoping that a space ship created by some aliens crash lands infront of us with all the answers that we thought positively that one day will happen. Stop living a dream! Challenge your self. Think of the worse case scenarios so you will end up thinking of better ways to fix them and make them better. That’s why God gave us brains to think. God didn’t say to sit and wait. He said work hard and he will help us achieve our dreams if we were meant to achieve them.

This is life. Accept it! Also, STOP denying the facts of life and reality, and wake up from your dreams. I woke up the hard way. I was hit by a stone and told to wake up.

Wake up! Wake up!

Advice, Angry, Blah Blah, Culture, Ranting as usual!, Thank you, They said what?, Whatever!