I don’t know why right now I feel sad and depressed. I just feel empty inside. I really do. I feel that life is just moving so slow in an unknown direction that I really don’t look forward to anything anymore. I keep saying what’s the point?
Every time something semi-exciting happens in my life I feel that it is too much. It will not last and just a temporary feeling. It turns out that way really. Nothing good comes out of it and just a waste of time. I feel that everyone has moved on with their life. Everyone is doing exciting new things and having a good time, and I am stuck. The more I try to change or do something different, nothing comes out of it. No results.
Examples. I can’t get a guy to like me for who I am. They always question my personality and actions and what I say. That’s what I really can’t stand about guys. Why some guys question every word that I ever said. I say a lot of shit, so do they. Why is it ok for them to say or do whatever they please, and I can’t?
Then there is work. I go to work every day wishing it was my last day. I keep hoping I get a phone call or a magic email that says, “Mona, you want to come work for us?” That didn’t happen, and I think it will never happen. Not with my luck.
I feel so unlucky in my life. Love life sucks. Work life sucks. What’s left? Personal life is mediocre. I don’t know. I just want to sleep tonight, wake up tomorrow with a new life. Wouldn’t that be ideal?