Oh the drama..
My friend called me earlier today and was crying and whining. I thought to my self, “dear Lord, who is worse.. me or her?” So she kept whining and complaining about her parents and her life, and then after she saw my lack of interest in the conversation, she asked me. “Did you solve the problem with your work?”
I said, “ahh.. umm.. I haven’t been to work since Tuesday.”
She said, “what? are you serious? are you allowed to do that?”
I said, “I have been really sick and depressed with life. I am not happy.”
She said, “what do you want to do now? Did you quit without telling me you idiot!”
I said, “no no.. I am not that stupid. I told you I was sick.”
She said, “well, I wish I can take time off work, but that will cost me money. I get paid hourly.”
I said, “I know I know.. we never get what we want right?”
She said, “well, what do you want? ”
I said, “I don’t know. Two days ago I spent the day in bed just looking at other jobs out there and submitting my resume to whomever. Just to see what is out there and if anyone is interested. A lady emailed me 30 min after asking for my portfolio.”
She said, “ok.. that’s good.. people want to see what you did.”
I said, “well, yesterday, the President of that company in downtown called me and left a message on my cell phone. You know I never pick up my phone.”
She said, “I know you seldom pick it up. Anyways, that’s great.. you got an interview so quickly!”
I said, “yes.. but I didn’t want this job. I don’t want the same position again. I am bored of it. You know what’s funnier?”
She said, “what?”
I said, “He emailed and called asking me to call him on his cell phone, and he is available all weekend for me to call him.”
She said, “wow.. no way. You know companies out there really want you. You are really talented.”
I said, “I emailed back saying I didn’t want a contract position.”
She said, “why did you do that? I thought you wanted to leave and move on.”
I said, “no.. I don’t want any job. I just don’t want the next thing out there. I want a good job. Something where I can be a leader of some sort. Anything that is worth it. Not drawing and making websites and just be like any other contracted person where I don’t know if tomorrow I will have a job or not. I don’t want to spend my life doing that.”
She said, “I want management too. My boss I heard will quit. I want his job. I am going to apply the moment he leaves. People like me there and want me to do it.”
I said, “I know you will do a great job. You wanted his job the first week you were there.”
She said, “so what.. I got 2 University degrees and he has nothing. I can’t find a Nutrition job, but I am good at talking to people and giving advice about health and fitness. I want a good position and job security too. Don’t I deserve it? Don’t we all!”
I said, “I know… I knew you wanted that from when you started.. you are no different than me.. you are just not as noratic and crazy and sensitive person as I am.”
She said, “I am.. but seriously.. you going back to work?”
I said, “Yah, I have to. I feel better today.. could be the nice weather outside. I am going in Monday.”
She said, “good.. just be patient and stop acting crazy.”
I said, “I know.. I know.. I am just not happy.. and I want so many different things.. and I don’t know what to do anymore. Oh well, I guess I got to suck it up and just live with it.”
She said, “yep.. we got to do that or we will end up in the coookooo house!”
I laughed at that last remark.. because she is the only person that can make me laugh.
I miss SQUIBBY!! 
Good question.. Am I worth it?