Last Saturday, not yesterday, a week ago, I was bored and I decided to try my luck again with job hunting. I don’t even know why, but companies usually don’t answer right away or even answer. By the same day, not even an hour later, I got an answer from one asking for an interview. I was stunned. Then the next evening, the past Sunday, I got another one that asked me to come the next day, even at the lunch hour to talk. I was like ok?

So I went on Monday. It was a small business, not even 7 people, but the owner had a desperate way of asking me to come work. After conversing, and you guys know me! I think big, I love to organize the business, and I love to make things easy for the end user to utilize. The owner said, I will pay you the exact same salary you are getting now, and parking is free. So I am saving on parking? Wow! It was such an intriguing offer to leave my current job for that. Not only that, he wanted me to do management level work and development. I was like you are kidden me? Management work with this salary? So I told him no on the Tuesday.

He was not happy.

Did I mention that I didn’t go to the first interview with the company that answered me first because they won’t even pay close to what I am getting? But I will be getting an amazing atmosphere! Wow! Pay cut to work at God’s who knows place.

So back to the first employer. I said, “No thank you. This is not a career move that makes sense to me at the moment… blah blah…. ” I got a reply back with a very angry desperate tone. I told him I am too busy to think now, maybe I will have a definite answer in the end of the week.

What would you guys think when I said, “yeah whatever, I will answer you later?” REJECTION!

Friday came, and guess who emails me at 8:00 am? HIM asking if I thought about it and want to work for him. I was like dude, I appreciate the consideration, but no.

I knew a guy a few months ago who had the same approach in wanting to date me and I kept saying no, but he didn’t get it that I was not interested in him that way. He wasn’t my type. Now, this reminds me, earlier this week, my new co-worker, a very nice girl around my age asked me, “So what is your type of guy Mona?” That came as a surprise because I didn’t have an answer. I started with labeling some physical features, but then I kept thinking that it is wrong to judge someone on how they look. Then I kept changing my mind to stuff more related to how I looked. Tall, round face, olive skinned, educated, etc. She told me, “You love your self!” I said with a confused look, “I guess so… ”

Hmm yeah… Well, yesterday at the mall, I got my second ear re-pierced. Yes, now I have 4 active piercings. 1 was closed, and I re-opened it. Now I look like my old self. I still want to get one more piercing at the top of my left ear, but I can wait. I would pierce my nose, but then I would look Indian and I would itch my nose all the time. lol

So yeah, I had an interesting week. Sort of.

Welcome. If you remember me, then I salute you. If not, you are not missing much.

I have returned. Don’t ask me why now, but it should have been on the 23rd when I realized my life sucked and I am stuck at work wondering why am I in a job that I hate, a life that is quickly passing by, and I am just mentally exhausted.

I started another blog that some of you know about because you wanted to know and stay in touch, but I call it the nice blog. I am nice over there. I am hiding who I am and constructed a barrier called “nice.” I hate it! I can’t even express my self and tell you how much I am annoyed from life and everyone. Hence, you will not see any way to get in contact with me via a social network. I hate social networks. I have aged and I am very old school. I prefer good old fashioned emails that I choose to reply to some or not.

Aren’t I a rebellious bitch?

Yes, I said something mean! I said the B word and my gosh that felt good! I am no longer nice! I am back to my evil bold rebellious self!

So, why do you, and you, and even you still email me?

I still get emails from guys wanting to hook up.

I still get emails from naive Arab girls asking “why me.. help me!!”

I still get emails from old visitors wondering if I got married.

Let me answer the latter questions directly. You all know I don’t have time to play around. The answers are, no, no, and no!

First of all, I don’t know you. You don’t even know how I look like. For all you know, I could be the evil witch from the north! Secondly, why do you ask me for advice? I need advice. I am 31 and I am still wondering wtf! Thirdly, who the hell wants to marry me? I wouldn’t even want me. I am crazy and I don’t like people much.. well, unless you are really good looking, but still. NO! I am a messed up Arab Capricorn. Hail to the goat, but not hail to some guy sitting in that chair for 30+ years in North African countries, and messed up kingdoms!

I was contemplating writing a book the past few months. I wanted to give it the most mundane title in the world, but then I thought, why can’t I keep blogging about it. No commercials. No distractions. Nothing but good old fashioned writing!

Also, I don’t understand. I am still getting over a 100 views a day and people asking me where I am, when I will come back, and they want my opinion on something. Why me?

I just can’t believe what I will be doing again. I have returned to write a bunch of crap on the Internet and call it my way of self expression! I will pretty up the blog maybe, later.

For that lame introduction and few months of not writing, I will leave you with a joyful song that will most likely shake your ass on that 50 dollar desk chair of yours!

Every day I keep thinking what happened to me? I was never like this. Did I evolve to become like this? Or is this just a cover up of some sort, because I cannot control it. I cannot for the life of me figure out why I have become this nutty happy person. There is nothing to be happy about by the way. I go to work, come back home, watch TV, do my assignments, and go to sleep. Then the same routine all over again the next day. I have become so robotic and I don’t know how to get out of it. Also, being an Arab and having to endure the cultural and traditions really sets the cherry on the pie!

Moreover, I have met my fair share of people in my life. I don’t think any of them have ever given me a reason to open up and be my self. Now, am I doing that sort of? Am I just doing it because you know what, life is just passing by, and just letting out random unplanned pointless spurs of happiness is all I can do? You try living your life day by day with no major future plans. Nothing really exciting at all to talk about. And just living the moment and pretending it is the best moment of your life!

Is every moment then the best one in your life? I never had a best moment in my life. I never felt I have accomplished anything that characterized it as being one. So being happy is throwing me off. Or is it just being me again where I have no idea why things are the way they are, and I am just way over critical of my self?

I suffered from depression in my early and mid 20′s. So anything I think of that is not characterized as being melancholy or something that is horribly bad is abnormal to me. I hit 30 and I think I hit a fuse at the same time.

Anyways, I will stop blabbering. I don’t know why I am blogging anymore. I am just lost and confused about my self that anything that is odd is really making me question my life.

I am not crazy. I am not high. I have just been extremely tired, frustrated, going through crazy life changing events, and oh, my EX emailed me out of the blue. Wasn’t it or isn’t he married you ask?

So, let’s back up a bit. My brother decided to come to visit us with his new baby boy and the rest of his beautiful family. He drove me nutz. Love him, but he is not normal. Kind of like me!

I went on a job interview 2 weeks ago, and I was awesome and great. I had a second interview with dinner, and they told me I am awesome and great! Then, they emailed me saying I am not qualified for the position. (I know what your thinking, wtf?) And then they told me that they wanted to test me to do a couple of computer programming projects (same crap I am doing now) first, and totally not the same as the job posting. They want to first make sure I fit in! I was like wtf? They want me to spend hours of my time, or lack of free time that I got to be tested on TWO projects? No wonder they asked me this, “Why are you a programmer? What is a girl doing being a programmer?” I swear to God they asked me that and I was too enraged to answer that!

Then, my cousin came from Europe! She is beyond crazy. I think it is hereditary trait in my family! She stayed a week and made my life ever so joyful.

Finally, last Wednesday, I received an email in the middle of the night from HIM? Remember him people? The guy I was with for 6.5 years then we fought and blah blah he decided 3 months later to marry some chick from over seas? Umm, and also he was the reason I made this blog a while back? Yeah him! (Link here to read about the past.) You can browse old archives from 2008 or less to learn more.

Anyways, he wrote me a very casual nice email. On Facebook, I asked my peepz what they thought, and most agreed to ignore and move on. I moved on a long time ago people. But what the hell? Seriously, what does he want from me? It has been 2 years and he still cares to email? If you are married, would you want your significant other to remember someone else and email them? I don’t care about the details or assume anything, but honestly, I am not like that! I am not desperate or care to know why. It was hard to move on in the beginning, but life has to continue and I didn’t want to be a part of this crap anymore.

Anywho!! I am a Twitter addict! I am back to my old routine. I micro blog daily! So add me to Twitter @rebelliousgirl or check out my Twitter page (http://www.twitter.com/rebelliousgirl) with my updates. I try to always keep everyone on top of things, and I try my best to ANSWER every single person that messages me though Twitter! My life is boring, but you know what, it may not be as boring as yours! lool Just kidden. I love you all. You guys seriously put a smile on my face and have helped me go through a lot of hurdles in my life for the past 5.5 years!

What do you think? Have you ever been labeled arrogant but all you really meant to be at that situation just a bit over confident. It is more of a protective and stubborn state of mind, nothing more.

And the final question! Do you guys really think I am arrogant or just confident enough to seem that I am arrogant?

A visitor of my blog wrote the following,

Hi Mona,

There’s a question that’s been stuck in my head for years now: “Why does it have to be so complicated?” being an arab girl that is…

I’m 25 years old, in most societies people my age are considered adults. but for some reason my parents and family treat me like a child. In my eyes i am a very successful independent adult. I’m educated, I have a very good job, the best friends i could ever wish for, and i support myself. but that’s as long as i’m away from my parents. the moment i step foot in the house, i’m treated like a kid, i have no say in anything. My parents say i’m lucky they let me work.. yes it’s that bad.

I broke it off with my fiancé a year ago, we were engaged for almost 3 years, and i can honestly say, they weren’t the best years of my life. we argued about a lot of things, mostly concerning the way i want to live my life. for example: the way i dress, where i go, who i work with, and who my friends are. In the end i felt like i was living someone else’s life! i had no control over my life anymore, and i decided that if this is what “marriage” is going to be like, then i don’t want it.

The problem is that ever since we broke up, my parent have decided that they’re going to treat me the same way, i get off work at 6, and i have to be home at 6:30, if i’m late they bombard me with calls, asking me where i am and what i’m doing. I can’t see my friends anymore, because i can’t go out after work, and if i go out with them on the weekend the calls start coming in after a couple of hours telling me to come home, and how I’ve been out all day. Of course i have to ask for permission to go out, and make my plans according to my fathers mood that day.

I’m going crazy! For God’s sake! I’m 25 years old, I can take care of myself! You know that there’s no way i could ever move out, unless i was getting married of course. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’ve had so many talks with them, asking them to lighten up a little bit. i asked them to give me a curfew, but i got this response: “What do you need a curfew for? you’re a girl! Nightfall is your curfew!” i need to have some kind of freedom! the only think keeping me from going crazy, is that i get to spend 9 hours a day away from this insane environment.

I’d love to chat with you sometime, or even email you, because there’s a lot more to say, and i want to keep this somewhat short so you’ll actually read it :p

Take care

Dear Arab girl,

My answer to you is the following: change that number 25 to 30 or whatever number you please and you would have included 99% of Arab females. Oh, and about 95% of Arab males who are not married and still living at home.

I don’t really know what to say. I am used to it. Back in the day I was a bit annoyed, but now I get it. I actually confronted my “father” who seems to be the over protective one and said, “I am not going to change. My job is to always look after my children no matter how old they are till the day I die. That’s just the way us Arabs think.”

Really, if you think about it, it is a nice gesture, and this is what makes us Arabs very close and family oriented. You would be surprised how western folks feel when they hear such things, because they don’t feel close to their families. Once they even remotely feel that they are living a life like us middle eastern people they love it. They love it!! Yet, most of us Arabs hate it because this is the way humans are. They don’t like what they have and always want the opposite.

There are advantages and disadvantages of this closed life style. I am a lazy bum, I like someone to cook for me, do my laundry, and treat me like a helpless child. It gives me excuses to go out and have fun with my life with no worries or commitments. Also, I feel that if I get married, my life will be closed anyways, unless I find the Rebellious Arab Guy, but so far no luck and Arab men are all raised the same way.

As for marriage, I don’t know if anyone wants to get married to me. I really feel it is my fault and no one likes me for who I am, especially Arab men. Anyways, it’s ok with me. I will accept this fact and live my life the way it is. It is sad I know.

I know that the middle east seems oh so small and only constitutes countries like Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates, Iraq, Syria, Palestine, Jordan and Egypt, but seriously, if you are 25 years old or above, start a learning mission in your life! Learn about countries in the world. Learn about different cultures. Learn about general historic movements in the world. And finally, learn about dictatorship and the true meaning that us Arabs are tired of being quiet!

The world is a small bubble now because of the instant media and people driven social networking. I don’t even know if I watch or hear the news anymore using the traditional methods. The internet. The internet has killed them all!

Let me tell you about Tunisia. I know you are wondering why a Palestinian girl is going to talk about Tunisia. Well, in 1990, I visited the country. I was 9 years old and I spent summer vacation there for about 2 months. It is the most gorgeous Arab country I ever visited. The locals are amazing friendly people, and it is a very touristic country. Everywhere you go there are tourists from Europe and the rest of the world.

It is funny that I am 30 years old, and the majority of Arab presidents rulers are still the same ones!

Ahh, I am waiting for a few more presidents to be kicked out too. They are long over due.

So, please take this poll and predict which Arab country will loose its ruler next!

I know many of the Arab countries I didn’t mention are monarchies or still have newer presidents, but it is hard for a monarchy to end quickly. But anything is possible and unexpected! 2011 has witnessed 16 days of craziness so far!

Yikes!

Dear Mona,

I’m an arab girl,, I got into a relationship when i was 18 with a guy who was 5 years older and after 2 and a half years he broke up. Long story short is he cheated on me and I never really got him to admit it but it’s pretty clear and so I guess he got bored or he thought we weren’t very serious or maybe I became extra ‘baggage’ for him because he dumped me in May 2010 before my exams and AFTER i got hit by a car. Now, I am writing to you, to ask, what do I do to get over him…Why do i miss someone who played mind games and basically thought so low of me….How can I move forward…He has another a girlfriend, maybe a different one than the girl he cheated on me for…It was my first love…He promised me a lot, to be together forever, marriage, he said he loved me and appreciated me and I don’t understand why men do that…

ANyways you seem like the best person to help me understand my problem in hopes of moving forward….

I never contacted him since he broke up with me thought he tried for 6 months after…never saying he missed me or wanted to pick things back up again…just that he was sorry and wanted to know how I was..

but knowing xxx…it was probably to make me believe he’s a good person and didnt really , couldnt possibly, have cheated.

My Response

Dear confused Arab girl. Don’t worry, some of us have suffered worse. Try being with a guy for a number of years and then out of anger you leave each other. Then without you knowing it, he got married to a girl from some other country that knows shit about him? I don’t know why guys do that, but then again, girls do that as well. Mostly in our culture. I find Arab girls and guys to be very weak when it comes to commitments and getting to know each other first and love one another before marriage. I never understood why it is hard, but being an Arab girl my self, I think the mentality that love is wrong before marriage is still widely taken into consideration.

At least you only managed an innocent relationship with a guy who said he will “change” for 6 months. Try years! Try wasting years of your life and where does it end up? Yep, you guessed it, not together!

I am sorry to hear that you were in an accident and you were thought of as extra headache cause of it. It was not your fault you were hit by a car. What if you were married and were hit by a car? Too much for him to handle that he will ask for divorce?

Anyways, how to forget? That is a really good question, and I do have an answer. You see, when life keeps going and many things over time occupy your thoughts and days, then forgetting someone you loved or thought you loved is easy. It just takes time, and this time needs to be filled with your own life, not his. He doesn’t care, but why should you? So think about your self, think about your life and thank God you don’t have to deal with him anymore.

You may end up being a bitter old lady like me whose mother is desperate to marry off, or you may end up more mature and make a better choice for the next guy since now you know what you want. You will also notice the right or wrong about the guy right away without thinking too much.

So relax, stop worrying about it, and think about your future, because he didn’t.

Got questions?

If you have any questions or a story to share and want me to comment on or the visitors to comment on, then don’t hesitate to contact me.

From: http://news.sympatico.ca/oped/coffee-talk/dubai_hotel_apologizes_for_11m_christmas_tree/b9756dd2

Abu Dhabi hotel apologizes for $11M Christmas tree

21/12/2010 8:30:00 AM
by Daniela Syrovy

Emirates Palace hotel in the United Arab Emirates erected a 13 metre Christmas tree adorned with $11 million worth of jewels. They now regret it. Is the tree in bad taste or should we loosen up and enjoy the elaborate gesture?

The folks in Abu Dhabi have received international attention after luxury hotel Emirates Palace decked out a 13 metre Christmas tree with $11 million worth of jewels. The government news agency has now issued a statement saying they regret the “attempts to overload the tradition” of decorating a tree for the holiday season. The statement was issued after critics condemned the tree as being in bad taste.

At first this story did not compute for me. Emirates Palace, a hotel in a predominantly Muslim country, has erected a giant, jewel-covered Christmas tree?! Something has gone awry in the world. It turns out that in the United Arab Emirates many hotels follow the tradition of putting a tree up in the lobby, to make visitors from abroad feel welcome.

I can appreciate the gesture though the irony of it leaves me wondering if extreme cultural sensitivity only occurs in Canada. Here, schools are removing ‘Santa’ images and have replaced the term ‘Christmas concert’ with ‘winter concert,’ leading some to speculate about our country’s cultural compassion and its ability to kill Christmas. Meanwhile in the Muslim country of UAE, publicly displayed Christmas trees are commonplace.

That said, this particular tree – described as the most expensive tree in the world – is a gaudy, tacky, tasteless PR stunt. I understand an ambitious attempt to get into the Guinness Book of Records, but if you were decorating a tree to truly show your holiday spirit, perhaps you’d be better off with a tree that is dressed by the community and not an overzealous jeweler.

A more modest tree might have done a better job of not rubbing in the fact that you’re one of the wealthiest cities in the world. Abu Dhabi holds 9% of the world’s oil reserves. We get it. You’re rich. You’re really rich. No need to shove it in our faces, especially not during a time when the emphasis is meant to be on giving. There are so many better ways to spend $11 million.

If the hotel and the country truly wanted to draw positive attention to themselves they should have donated a large portion of the $11 million to the countries starving labourers, who for twenty years have worked tirelessly to build the UAE up to its current state of metropolitan glory.

Oh the poor people of my home land Palestine. That money could have fed a family or two for the next couple of centuries.

Fortunately, I got out of the whole group thing a long time ago. I do not participate in any. I don’t even advertise my blog anymore. I have not done so in years! I was in many Arab blog group sites in the past, and some contacted me later to join, but I just don’t want to deal with being part of any clan anymore. If I am part of one, I will get people saying, “You are only doing it to get people to come to your blog and your blog sucks!” If I don’t join, people will say, “Why are you not part of one, who do you think you are!”

Honestly, who cares about the above. Who needs groups to get noticed now a days.

Strangely enough, because I don’t advertise and I don’t go around marketing my self in any way or form, I get people saying that I write this way to just get more and more visitors. I ignite fires just to get noticed. So, explain this to me logically so I can make sense of it all, I do nothing at all but write in my private blog whatever the hell comes into my head, and I do not go around advertising just to get noticed, but my writing is the big NO NO!

Hmm. Yah, that makes sense. Hell, last time I checked this friggen site was a blog where I write run on sentences and have several syntax error. I do not use Microsoft Word to type my blog essays or an English editor to make sure everything is perfect before I click on that damn blue Publish button.

You know what I despise about certain people’s personality? I despise fake people. I despise people that are too anal about other people’s words and like to correct them to just prove how articulate they are. Finally, I despise people that think they can come here and freely insult me, and I know for a fact that they are scared shitless to do it to my face in real life.

I rather stay out of every circle, out of any association with certain people, and just be my SELF: a stubborn, egotistical, selfish blogger who only writes crap on her blog without thinking twice who reads it.

There, I got it out of my chest. I can sleep now.