A couple of days ago, I received an email from a young Arab girl in her early 20′s telling me about her dilemma. She told me about the man she is in love with from back home, but somehow it ended and she never said why. Three months later, she got engaged to this “perfect man” that her parents and grandmother hooked her up with, but she ended the engagement after one week. She feels that her main problem is the Arab family and how we are raised.

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An Arab girl who is raised in a conservative household is taught to obey her parents, and they know what is best for her. I guess they were wrong. This girl is still in love with the man that is far away from her and have not seen in months, and she doesn’t understand why her parents think that they can find a perfect match for her. Do they even know what she wants out of this life? Can she chose who she wants?

Therefore, she ended the engagement and feels guilty that she disappointed her family, especially her grandmother that lives with them. She doesn’t know what to do, and is utterly confused.

Her main question is regarding the man she loves, and I thought of it at one time as well, and maybe you did too,

Up until a little while ago, I honestly thought he was my naseeb (match), but now, I’m not so sure I believe in that anymore. I mean, I don’t know, how are you supposed to know? When your parents agree? I’m so confused.

What do you think? And you have to answer this question from an Arab’s viewpoint.

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Every now and then, wait, actually who am I kidden? EVERY DAY, I have a major debate with my mother that ends with, “leave me alone!” You see, my mother and I have very different view points, even on the littlest things. It has nothing to do with my stubbornness and just wanting to always be in disagreement. On the contrary my online friends, I just cannot understand her way of thinking, or maybe she doesn’t understand mine. All I can say, she is the only person so far in all the 28 years of my life that I was never able to communicate with properly.

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Enough complaining about communication. The catalyst is always that little brat that is half my age. I keep arguing with my sister that I am not a jealous person, because I do not care about others, and a person should worry about their own problems. Why should I be jealous of her, or other people? Jealousy is bad! It leads to envy and worse, it leads to a corrupt state of mind that only wants to be like someone else. However, my mother thinks that jealousy is a good thing, because it makes us strive to be better then the person we are jealous of, and we can learn from me.

Learn from them? How? If I am jealous of that person, what’s there to learn? I only have evil thoughts in my head if I am jealous, and it means I will curse the ground they walk on, because they have something that I don’t.

Do you see the problem? Maybe I know my self too well, that I try to avoid jealousy. I do not want to be jealous of anyone or anyone jealous of me, because I would end up being an evil person who envies others, and have no personality of my own. So, I know what that person wants, but do I want the same exact thing and get jealous cause of it?

I think there is a major difference between learning from someone to be better than them, and being jealous of them. Don’t you think?

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I always wondered about a certain issue for the past several years, especially living in a very materialistic society where acting a certain way is what is widely accepted. You see, I know many Arab girls, and most of them are younger then me and married already. Married at 18 or 19 sometimes? Ok, that is their choice. When I was their age, I was trying to figure out what I wanted to major in University, and if I will be able to sleep for the next few years cause of it. Worrying about marriage was the least of my problems.

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However, everyone is different. What always mystified me as years passed, that those girls are very average looking. Yet, they think they are beauty queens because “someone” wanted them and married them. Fine, we all have the right to think that way. We are all beautiful people, but seriously, why are you kidden yourself? Especially ending up with a guy who already experienced everything, had enough with all kinds of girls, and settled with “you.”

Don’t you feel a bit, how can I say this politely, last choice because you were the desperate one?

I know many of you want to kill me now, and I am not generalizing at all. I am talking about those specific desperate girls. Well, Arab girls to be exact in this case, but it could happen to any girl.

Mona, are you saying you are not innocent? Hell NO! Me innocent? You guys have got to be kidden me! Being innocent and naive now a days is equivalent to being stupid.

So, I was talking to an Arab guy the other day. MONA YOU WHERE TALKING TO WHO? Oh give it a rest! I like talking to people, and if I ever end up liking anyone again or even think about it, I will tell you guys. Right now, no one, and I have enough problems to worry about then some guy. Also, I won’t have another April Fools joke on my blog again regarding this issue. Maybe. Anyways, back to what I was going to say. Yes, well, I asked him because I always wondered about this. I asked him why do Arab guys end up marrying a young plain Arabic girl? She is cute, but that’s about it. Nothing special. No education sometimes, and really just wants to get married to show off that she is young, innocent, pure, and wanted.

He said truthfully, “She is easier to control.”

I said, “Huh?”

He said, “It is easier to control such a girl and even easier to leave if things get worse.”

I said, “You are kidden me?”

He said, “No. Can you imagine how hard it is to deal with a really pretty smart girl? You can’t do anything to her, and it is a lot harder to get rid of her.”

I said, “Ok.. now I get it.”

His answer clouded my mind, because I always wondered why do Arab guys end up asking their mothers to find them a pure innocent girl who never experienced anything and knows nothing.

Is this the common way of thinking? I know it is just one guy’s opinion, and I think it is very biased. So what do you think?

Note: This post is not a generalization, and just a question asked about what goes on in guy’s heads when they make such a choice. Not all guys think this way, and not all girls end up in this situation. However, it is does happen.

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I had a pretty interesting afternoon trying to figure out why so many Muslims have turned Atheists. They seem to come out more now, and don’t care. You would think, that out of all the religions, a conservative one such as Islam, you would not have such a lack of faith.

A few weeks ago, when I learned that my cousins turned Christian, I was a bit dumbfounded. It is disappointing; however, it would have been worse if they completely lacked the faith of a higher power. At least they still believe in God, right?

In general, this lack of faith has a lot to do with where they are currently living, or what they are exposed to. Also, more and more Muslims are reading too much into their religion, and see how others are slowly destroying the image of it. Western media is trying to destroy it slowly. Muslims are lacking faith and don’t want to live this life, and are turning into a complete and opposite direction. I feel like we are back over 1400 years ago at the time of Jahiliyyah. I thought we ended this era. However, it doesn’t seem to be the case at all in such an exposed technology driven world.

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I am not a Muslim scholar, or have the right to preach about any religion. All I know is that we are all raised a certain way. However, we all grow up to chose what is best for us. Some of us seem to lack faith, effected by media, or just read too much into a very simplistic religion. Why can’t people learn the basics of a religion? If everyone does that, no one would use religion in violent manners, to oppress others, or to manipulate other’s thoughts.

Also, what’s up with Muslims that say they are Muslims, but don’t follow the religion at all? What does it matter what others think of you religiously, if you don’t follow it or care enough to learn about it?

NOTE! Please, if you want to reply to this post, avoid talking about science, evolution, or the story of Adam & Eve. I don’t have time for never ending debates, and stick to the point of this article. Muslims that turned Atheists, or people who lack faith in their religion. Thank you.

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Occipital bone, lobe, internal, external, tissues, inion, squama, Grey’s Anatomy, etc. All those small words may mean something to you or not, but means a lot to me. Especially since I enjoy reading more about human physiology, then normalizing a MySQL database, and having the best time complexity in my algorithm.

I feel like I am betraying my profession, but I was a Biology major for 2 years before I switched into this endeavor. Today, I spent my afternoon searching why my skull has a little rigid area with too much depth near the neck. Somehow I ended up reading the evolution of the human skull through time, biological Anthropology papers (which I took a course in in University), and histology. I was more drawn to it. I kept reading, looking at diagrams, reading research papers, etc for over two hours. I really killed my afternoon. I was bored, fasting, and I didn’t have any energy to do anything productive. Well, reading is productive no?

As I was reading and enjoying my time learning about human physiology and histology, I felt utter regret of my life. I asked my self a million questions about my past, and the mistakes that I made. I don’t know why I went to major in Computer Science. I didn’t even like it that much. Well, I like programming, and making user interfaces a lot nicer and easier to use, but I hated the theory. The advanced pure mathematics that I had to study along side of it actually kept me sane, because I love math. However, I just kept thinking, what would I have been like now if I did continue studying Biology?

I guess when you are fresh out of highschool, you have certain dreams and aspirations. Unfortunately, as time passes, your mind wonders into different possibilities and think other possibilities are better for your future. Don’t get me wrong, I loved computers at the same time. I loved making websites from the time the internet was a toddler still, and not many people knew what it was. However, I love science more. I like human physiology, learning about diseases and abnormalities. I love the history and genetics. I am looking back now to the year 1999 when I finished highschool and just entered University, and kept thinking, “Wow. I wish I can go back in time and slap my self silly to even have considered studying anything else. I could be doing my PhD now researching a cure for Cancer or something like that!”

Now, I am sort of stuck being a computer geek. I like it, but what did I get out of it? Look at me now. I have been unemployed for almost a year. I feel stressed out all the time, very depressed and extremely moody, my hair is rapidly turning gray, and I am not happy with my life. I try to start my own internet projects, and I have so many ideas that are unbelievable and could be the next big thing! However, I cannot sit down on the computer anymore for more than an hour without thinking to my self, “Is this my life? When can I start helping humanity out?”

My old job was a bit more humanitarian, because I made software for children with hearing problems. However, now, who am I helping? What’s my purpose?

I need to seriously get my self motivated again. People don’t have jobs anymore, and more and more people are stuck in a rut like me. I got to make the most out of my professional knowledge, and start something big soon. I need a real job again, with a real monthly pay cheque and even more. What do I lack expect motivation? The past is gone, I went off tangent, and I got to keep on walking that way. It’s a one way street now to the technology unknown. I hope the internet world will be kind to me, because people like me, and I know a lot, are not happy. We are tired, and we need to stop saying, “What if?” and start saying, “What can I do next?”

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