Guess where I am? Yep! At home in my pajamas surfing the internet and reading! I requested demanded a day off today in lieu of me working far too much. And the best part is, Monday is Family Day here in Ontario, and I get another day off too. Four day weekend! Yah baby! I will finally be able to catch up with the rest of the world.

I wouldn’t say that my work is very stressful, but it is very demanding, and I wanted some leisure time. A time where I don’t have to think of Ajax requests, or how to get the financial back end working with the front end, and I don’t have to keep listening to those older divorced women talk about the dates they find through e-Harmony site.

Time for me!

People

I know that people are the cause of my daily ranting and why I am always angry, but seriously, I do have every reason to sometimes. I know many people that I talk to through Facebook or GTalk have this one sided view of me. They think that whatever I write on my blog is me and that’s it. They think I am this cynical, Arab bashing, narcissistic, over generalizing girl who doesn’t read anyone else’s blog.

Yeah, I don’t read other blogs as much as I like, but you guys have to realize that I don’t have time. I try to, and if I do, I rarely comment. I am not this famous person that thinks I am better than you and shouldn’t bother with what you say. I am not a full time blogger like those famous bloggers out there that do this for a living. On the contrary, I am just this 29 year old girl that works all day at a high demanding job, is far too tired when she gets home, and on top of that, does home work and studying for her PMP certification. (About 2 year estimate till I get certified.) You can see that I made my self far too busy that I cannot satisfy everyone, or even anyone. How I ended up in this state? I am just a human being that wants more out of life.

Life

You see, most girls have a goal to find that “special one” and get married. That’s their first and sometimes only mission in life. I used to think like that when I was 24 or 25. Then, as I was stuck in the working word earning money and seeing how everyone else around me is progressing and being “something,” then I got jealous. I am a jealous person when it comes to success. I want more. I want people to say that Mona did something productive and important in her life.

Honestly, as I am growing older and my pessimistic view of love and marriage is ever so growing inside my head, my career seems to take priority. Don’t get me wrong, I try really hard to meet someone or talk to a guy. Unfortunately, It’s always the same conversation with every single guy that goes like this,

“Why aren’t you married? Look at you! Are the guys in your city idiots? Marry me!”

Unfortunately, they would be living 500 km away, and I would think, funny! They judged me from a picture and a two minute conversation. And like I said earlier, people who read my blog judge me by what I write, and most of the guys hate it. So there is no happy medium, and I got to the point of giving up, sort of.

Fear

If I really wanted to be honest here, and if you read this far, you have to realize that yes, I am a bit fearful. I am a bit fearful of being hurt again. I don’t want to love or be in love. I fear an end result that may or may not happen. The older I get, the more sensitive I am about everything. I don’t want history to repeat it self. I am trying really hard to change the way I am so I don’t end up in such a state again.

What I really don’t understand is those promiscuous girls, or girls that go from one guy to another to find the one that quickly says, “Yes, marry me now!” I feel that those girls don’t really know the meaning of love, and are so insensitive about others and care about the number one person, them.

Oh well, this is life. We keep running toward a goal that we set or others set, but we don’t know how to get there sometimes. We just keep trying any road hoping it will get us there or even close to there. Ah life, what a mysterious journey.

Blah Blah, Confused, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!

Ranting about Arabs time!

One of the biggest problems with the Arab mentality is accepting different opinions and lifestyles. I appreciate the fact that Arabs like to stay true to who they are, whatever they are, but seriously, do we need to make our one-sided “traditional” life decisions the only plausible ones that everyone has to follow?

Let me elaborate my point more clearly here. Arabs feel superior to other Arabs. Arabs feel superior to other cultures. Arabs believe that their lifestyle choices are the “clean” or “most ethical” ones. Why?

Jealousy

I think I discussed this a lot on my blog, but I have to keep reminding everyone that jealousy is a human characteristic. Yes, it is a characteristic that we CAN control. We can be jealous of the positives that other people possesses. That I believe will drive us to improve ourselves. However, jealousy that results in envy, negative emotions, and spite is not the healthy characteristic. Unfortunately, and yes, I will say it for the millionth time, negative jealousy is the number one cause of backward mentality.

Differences

The only successful people I ever met in my life are the ones that were willing to accept the difference. They accepted differences of ethnicity. They accepted differences in mentality. They accepted differences in life. They accepted abrupt changes in the world. They learned to cope with the what life is really about. Once they accepted the difference, their minds opened and accepted endless possibilities. Life no longer seemed black and white, and they ended up leaders in a gray but open playground.

Role Models

The problem with the Arab culture is the lack of role models. There isn’t a group of people that raise their hands and say, “I want to be a better person. I want to make a difference. I want to use my God given talents to the best of my abilities and become something memorable. I want to help others become better people too.” I never heard of role models. I don’t even know if there is such a phrase in the Arabic language. They only think of the “I”, and not the “We.”

Thinking

Thinking is a gift from God. It is our duty as human beings to think. God differentiated us from animals by this gift. We have to use it. We have to think. If I really want to get my point across, I have to discuss religion. Arab culture justifies everything based on religion. Even though only 80% of Arabs are Muslims, and I will not generalize about that fact, but religion has to be separated completely from the culture. The culture ruined the religion. Yes, it did. Islam is so much more, and if it is truly understood and followed at its simplicity, then none of this nonsense that Arabs come up with that justify their behavior based on religion would ever exist.

Since Arabs love to justify their Arabized actions based on religion, then why are women still treated as second class citizens? God created us as equals, but I don’t see it being applied in the Arab culture.

Why is free thinking outside the “religious” doctrines forbidden?

Why aren’t women allowed to be educated at a higher level, and even most to even be literate? Isn’t the first thing that a true Muslim should do is read? Why is man allowed to read, and women can’t? Why is man allowed to think, and women can’t?

Why am I better than you?

Finally, I will get the real point. Arabs love to directly show their superiority complex to other Arabs. If your Arab neighbor bought a gorgeous new pair of shoes, then you will bluntly tell them, “Mine are better and more expensive.” If your Arab neighbor went to a doctor, then you would tell them, “My doctor is smarter and better than yours and that’s why you are always sick.” If your Arab neighbor bought a new house, then you will tell them, “Where did you get the money? Who gave it to you to make such a purchase?”

Congratulations is a common and most used word in the Arab vocabulary, but it is always followed by the justification that I am still better than you, or how did you get that and who helped you? I wish sometimes they were really better, like evolving as a culture, not being classified as third world nations, and giving their citizens basic human rights.

I think too much, but I will never stop.

Confused, Culture, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, Religion, They said what?, Whatever!

I ran a poll the past week asking people if they are currently happy with their lives. Out of the 73 people that voted, over 50% said they are happy, but want to improve their themselves.

That actually makes me happy, because those people realized that their lives are fine, but there is more to hope for and look forward to. You are giving me hope too, because I don’t have to think that humanity’s way of thinking came to a halt.

What disappointed me though is not the negative poll results where people said they are not happy, or wondering why they turned out this way. On the contrary, I was disappointed that people thought that their life is absolutely fine. How boring is your life? Don’t you wish to improve? Don’t you wish you can improve? Aren’t you hopeful that something better will come along that will drive you to do something different with your life?

Change is not easy, and once you realize that you can, then nothing will stop you.

Blah Blah, Confused, Random Thoughts, Sleepy Post, They said what?

I kept seeing commercials on TV that eHarmony.ca is a great site, and they can try to match you with someone.. blah blah. So, I was so excited today. I was like yes, time for change! Maybe this site is better since it is more commonly used, advertised on TV, and so much buzz!

Therefore, I got so excited! I signed up, and did this long in depth survey with so many psychological questions that will help find me a match better. Not just where you are from and that’s it like the other sites. This could be great I thought. They spent so much time creating all this, and I will do my part and spend the 15-20 min filling it out!

The percentage completion line kept going up that I am progressing from question to question, page to page, and finally, I was done. I clicked the magic button. I was excited and waiting for the next screen with pictures of people or more options, but this is what I got:

Click on the image above to see it bigger and be able to read the text.

Am I unlucky or what? There is no hope.. *sigh*

Blah Blah, Confused, Depressed, Thank you, They said what?, Whatever!

This is part four of the year end manifestation of the life of my blog.

I have continually suffered this year from the well known blogger epidemic: the writer’s block. Oh dear! Last night, as I was looking back through the archives of this year, I noticed a considerable gap between posts, and an average of 20 – 25 posts a month. I used to go up to 40, 50, or even over 70 per month the past years. What happened to me?

I will tell you what happened, I became less of a maniac writer every time I got mad, and more of a take a deep breath before you word vomit anything bloggerette. (Plus I slept a lot more this year!) I tried too hard this year to not write things that will make me delete it a day or two after. I have done that a lot in the past. Sometimes I didn’t know when I crossed the line. I had many of “should have never been” posts. This year, not too much.

Anyways, I wrote enough for today. My new year’s resolution for my blog next year, if I am stuck and can’t write anything proper, to sing a song instead.

Sing with me my lovely watchers!

I say Reb, you say Rebellious!
You say what? Rebellious Mona!
You say what? Rebellious Mona!

I say gurl, you say Rebellious!
You say who? Rebellious Girl!
You say who? Rebellious Girl!

I say Arab, you say Really????
You say who? Rebellious Arab Girl!
You say who? Rebellious Arab Girl!

I say change, you say When??
I say now!
You say when? I say now!
You say Where? I say here!
You say Where? I say HERE!

*yawn*

This is a better thing to listen to:

Blah Blah, Confused, Funny, My taste of Music, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!