When I read this, I actually laughed. It wasn’t written in a funny way, but it was funny that it was true and I just couldn’t help but laugh at our mentality.
A visitor of my blog wrote the following,
There’s a question that’s been stuck in my head for years now: “Why does it have to be so complicated?” being an arab girl that is…
I’m 25 years old, in most societies people my age are considered adults. but for some reason my parents and family treat me like a child. In my eyes i am a very successful independent adult. I’m educated, I have a very good job, the best friends i could ever wish for, and i support myself. but that’s as long as i’m away from my parents. the moment i step foot in the house, i’m treated like a kid, i have no say in anything. My parents say i’m lucky they let me work.. yes it’s that bad.
I broke it off with my fiancé a year ago, we were engaged for almost 3 years, and i can honestly say, they weren’t the best years of my life. we argued about a lot of things, mostly concerning the way i want to live my life. for example: the way i dress, where i go, who i work with, and who my friends are. In the end i felt like i was living someone else’s life! i had no control over my life anymore, and i decided that if this is what “marriage” is going to be like, then i don’t want it.
The problem is that ever since we broke up, my parent have decided that they’re going to treat me the same way, i get off work at 6, and i have to be home at 6:30, if i’m late they bombard me with calls, asking me where i am and what i’m doing. I can’t see my friends anymore, because i can’t go out after work, and if i go out with them on the weekend the calls start coming in after a couple of hours telling me to come home, and how I’ve been out all day. Of course i have to ask for permission to go out, and make my plans according to my fathers mood that day.
I’m going crazy! For God’s sake! I’m 25 years old, I can take care of myself! You know that there’s no way i could ever move out, unless i was getting married of course. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’ve had so many talks with them, asking them to lighten up a little bit. i asked them to give me a curfew, but i got this response: “What do you need a curfew for? you’re a girl! Nightfall is your curfew!” i need to have some kind of freedom! the only think keeping me from going crazy, is that i get to spend 9 hours a day away from this insane environment.
I’d love to chat with you sometime, or even email you, because there’s a lot more to say, and i want to keep this somewhat short so you’ll actually read it :p
Dear Arab girl,
My answer to you is the following: change that number 25 to 30 or whatever number you please and you would have included 99% of Arab females. Oh, and about 95% of Arab males who are not married and still living at home.
I don’t really know what to say. I am used to it. Back in the day I was a bit annoyed, but now I get it. I actually confronted my “father” who seems to be the over protective one and said, “I am not going to change. My job is to always look after my children no matter how old they are till the day I die. That’s just the way us Arabs think.”
Really, if you think about it, it is a nice gesture, and this is what makes us Arabs very close and family oriented. You would be surprised how western folks feel when they hear such things, because they don’t feel close to their families. Once they even remotely feel that they are living a life like us middle eastern people they love it. They love it!! Yet, most of us Arabs hate it because this is the way humans are. They don’t like what they have and always want the opposite.
There are advantages and disadvantages of this closed life style. I am a lazy bum, I like someone to cook for me, do my laundry, and treat me like a helpless child. It gives me excuses to go out and have fun with my life with no worries or commitments. Also, I feel that if I get married, my life will be closed anyways, unless I find the Rebellious Arab Guy, but so far no luck and Arab men are all raised the same way.
As for marriage, I don’t know if anyone wants to get married to me. I really feel it is my fault and no one likes me for who I am, especially Arab men. Anyways, it’s ok with me. I will accept this fact and live my life the way it is. It is sad I know.