There is a question that I don’t have a real answer for, but it is the most asked question that people ask me. This question is mostly asked because people think that the Rebellious Arab Girl is such a crazy odd girl who will do anything and everything.

Mona, why don’t you just marry a non-Arab?

What’s wrong with marrying a convert?

Mona, if you don’t like the Arabic culture, why not just marry outside of it and spare us your complaints?

Blah blah blah!

My answer is simple. I was raised a certain way, and I don’t want someone to get accustomed to the way I was brainwashed by the family and arabic culture, and I don’t have to get accustomed to his. However it is my choice, and I never looked down upon Arabs that marry outside of their culture. That is their choice and they have their reasoning to do so. I have no reason to judge, and no one should. I actually understand why they do that most of the time.

Why deal with the Arab in-laws that won’t leave you alone?

Why deal with messed up Arab customs that have no basis or reasoning?

Why deal with Arab backwards ideologies?

Those are just questions, and everyone has an answer to them. Many Arabs marry non-Arabs. It is known throughout history. A lot of people are against it, and I don’t know why. If it effects you directly, then go ahead and be angry about it. All I know is, that each person is held responsible for their own actions. Let them do what they please. Arab male or female, let them be.

I know there are so many problems with interracial marriages, especially the way Arabs perceive it, but what can you do? Arabs are so picky sometimes that they want their sons and daughters to only marry an Arab. However, this Arab has to be from the same country, speaks the same dialect, and is from the same village. What can you do? This is their mentality. Accept it, or leave it.

For me, I don’t have a problem with the interracial marriage thing, which I know why it happens. My problem is Arabs themselves who need to learn to accept each other first as Arabic speaking people. I used to get ridiculed for my messed up Arabic dialect by “other” Arabs who happen to be from the same old country as me. However, I am from a different region, but to them, I am from a different world. Therefore, this mentality is a reason that many Arabs (not me) resort to this solution of getting out of the whole Arabic messed up ideology, and just marry someone who doesn’t even speak the language and end it there.

Would I do it? Probably not. I like my language, and I like being an Arab. However, I am not rushing or ever thinking of this issue. I know there are so many problems in this culture of mine that make me want to abolish my roots, but seriously, it’s not so bad being an Arab. However, I believe that it is logical for an Arab to marry another Arab. If some Arabs think negatively of it, then maybe one day they will see the upside of the whole thing. If those Arabs really want things to change, then maybe they can start by the way they want to live their life, and raise their children in a more modern Arab lifestyle.

You change, things will change, and maybe you might be a little bit happier as a result. Right?

Not every Arab story is similar to Romeo and Juliette’s, where instead of the suicide, the result is the denial of your entire Arab roots. Let’s avoid that, and think of a way to change the messed up ideologies first, eh?

Blah Blah, Culture, Featured, Random Thoughts, Religion, They said what?, Whatever!

A couple of days ago, I received an email from a young Arab girl in her early 20’s telling me about her dilemma. She told me about the man she is in love with from back home, but somehow it ended and she never said why. Three months later, she got engaged to this “perfect man” that her parents and grandmother hooked her up with, but she ended the engagement after one week. She feels that her main problem is the Arab family and how we are raised.

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An Arab girl who is raised in a conservative household is taught to obey her parents, and they know what is best for her. I guess they were wrong. This girl is still in love with the man that is far away from her and have not seen in months, and she doesn’t understand why her parents think that they can find a perfect match for her. Do they even know what she wants out of this life? Can she chose who she wants?

Therefore, she ended the engagement and feels guilty that she disappointed her family, especially her grandmother that lives with them. She doesn’t know what to do, and is utterly confused.

Her main question is regarding the man she loves, and I thought of it at one time as well, and maybe you did too,

Up until a little while ago, I honestly thought he was my naseeb (match), but now, I’m not so sure I believe in that anymore. I mean, I don’t know, how are you supposed to know? When your parents agree? I’m so confused.

What do you think? And you have to answer this question from an Arab’s viewpoint.

Blah Blah, Confused, Culture, They said what?, Whatever!

I always wondered about a certain issue for the past several years, especially living in a very materialistic society where acting a certain way is what is widely accepted. You see, I know many Arab girls, and most of them are younger then me and married already. Married at 18 or 19 sometimes? Ok, that is their choice. When I was their age, I was trying to figure out what I wanted to major in University, and if I will be able to sleep for the next few years cause of it. Worrying about marriage was the least of my problems.

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However, everyone is different. What always mystified me as years passed, that those girls are very average looking. Yet, they think they are beauty queens because “someone” wanted them and married them. Fine, we all have the right to think that way. We are all beautiful people, but seriously, why are you kidden yourself? Especially ending up with a guy who already experienced everything, had enough with all kinds of girls, and settled with “you.”

Don’t you feel a bit, how can I say this politely, last choice because you were the desperate one?

I know many of you want to kill me now, and I am not generalizing at all. I am talking about those specific desperate girls. Well, Arab girls to be exact in this case, but it could happen to any girl.

Mona, are you saying you are not innocent? Hell NO! Me innocent? You guys have got to be kidden me! Being innocent and naive now a days is equivalent to being stupid.

So, I was talking to an Arab guy the other day. MONA YOU WHERE TALKING TO WHO? Oh give it a rest! I like talking to people, and if I ever end up liking anyone again or even think about it, I will tell you guys. Right now, no one, and I have enough problems to worry about then some guy. Also, I won’t have another April Fools joke on my blog again regarding this issue. Maybe. Anyways, back to what I was going to say. Yes, well, I asked him because I always wondered about this. I asked him why do Arab guys end up marrying a young plain Arabic girl? She is cute, but that’s about it. Nothing special. No education sometimes, and really just wants to get married to show off that she is young, innocent, pure, and wanted.

He said truthfully, “She is easier to control.”

I said, “Huh?”

He said, “It is easier to control such a girl and even easier to leave if things get worse.”

I said, “You are kidden me?”

He said, “No. Can you imagine how hard it is to deal with a really pretty smart girl? You can’t do anything to her, and it is a lot harder to get rid of her.”

I said, “Ok.. now I get it.”

His answer clouded my mind, because I always wondered why do Arab guys end up asking their mothers to find them a pure innocent girl who never experienced anything and knows nothing.

Is this the common way of thinking? I know it is just one guy’s opinion, and I think it is very biased. So what do you think?

Note: This post is not a generalization, and just a question asked about what goes on in guy’s heads when they make such a choice. Not all guys think this way, and not all girls end up in this situation. However, it is does happen.

Blah Blah, Confused, Culture, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!

This post is more of a rant and a really pissed off one from people that ask me the silliest questions. I received an email from an Arab male, let’s call him Y.S. this morning asking me the following:

Y.S. emailed me saying,

I need to ask this, don’t mean anything wrong by my question though. Why has your blog turned from you sharing personal thoughts to this? Your blog posts now take up 20% of your main page and the rest is all advertisements. I’m not against the idea of you advertising but you now have a job, right? Do you still need to get that extra money out of blogging?

I wanted to point to his Wordpress blue default boring themed blog and start something nasty, but why should I direct it to him only? His observations are very lame, and he cannot calculate or understand or know anything about my life or my blog. Moreover, he was not the first person to ask me this question.

Why do I put advertisements on my site?

You see, I am not a business major, or know anything about marketing. I am a very simple person with computer and graphic skills. I majored at University in Computer Science. Yes, I have a University degree from an accredited Ivy League Institution. (Don’t get me started on that!) So, I am unemployed right now. However, I wanted to make something clear for those who do not know that, and have not been keeping up with my blog for at least the past year. Last August, I resigned from my old job, because it was pointless and I didn’t want to get a paycheque to browse the Internet, and sporadically take orders from a person who knows NOTHING. After a 6.5 year run, and sudden change in management, my patience became non-existent, and the only solution I found was to resign.

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Back to advertisement on this blog. I had ads running on my site for over two years. If you have not noticed it, or never bothered, then that’s even better. I don’t want your experience on my blog to be that filled with advertisement about dating sites and cool summer refreshment drinks. God forbid! I don’t want that! Moreover, my latest blog design, that took me several hours to do and I am constantly maintaining it, I did for free. I did not hire someone to do it, because that would be stupid. Why would a web designer and graphic artist hire someone to design her blog since she is always on a tight budget and unemployed?

Therefore, the main home page is different then the rest of the site. Why? Because I didn’t want the sidebar to be filled with so many things. I also observe other top bloggers who are making 1000’s of dollars a month from their blogs, and how they designed their blogs. What do they represent first when a visitor is entering? You are lucky I have no pop-ups or anything, or you would have seriously complained and I wouldn’t hear the end of it.

My blog makes pocket change a month. Yet, I am offering monthly contests and giving back money to my visitors. Who in their right mind would do that?

You come to my site, I earn money from advertisements, and I am offering alternative ways (ie. Ramadan Contest) to get involved and earn some of that money as well. Wow! Isn’t that nice for a person that makes pocket change from her blog, she is unemployed, has some web skills, and a bit of business type skills that she learned off the net?

What is funny, and I think is totally funny, that over 75% of bloggers out there have some type of paid advertisement on their website. Yet, when a blogger like me, that has a pretty increasing and lovely audience that gets involved in daily commenting has advertisement, then she has completely committed a huge sin! An unearthly sin! A sin that is beyond any sin! A sin that is committed in cyberspace infront of the whole entire world! Her site is 80% advertisements and no more CONTENT! NO MORE THINGS TO WRITE ABOUT, AND THAT’S WHY SO MANY PEOPLE ARE COMMENTING AND EVEN DOING THEIR OWN RESEARCH TO COMMENT BACK!

Wow! I think advertisement and making money off the internet, and being an Arab girl of course, really is looked down upon in my culture. Good thing I don’t ask anyone to click on my ads, then that would have seriously pushed it and I am no longer respected for the content on my site, and only trying to make money off people.

I am sorry people. I am sorry internet world. I am so sorry that I have advertisements on my site. Find me a full time job then in this city of mine that is not degrading and does not pay me in 1940’s currency value doing 2 or 3 people’s work, and take me out of my misery of having to sit at home all day trying to figure out ways to make pocket change from the internet.

Until then, and even after I get a job, I am going to have advertisements on this blog. If you like it or not, I don’t care. It’s pocket change, let me enjoy it and make contests on here to make people happy!

In conclusion, the advertisement will stay. You have no right to tell me why I have them since they are not harming you in any way. If you do not like coming to my site, or it is killing your internet bandwidth but still want to read it, then subscribe to my site via RSS.

PS. I am surprised that people don’t have the guts to go complain to websites such as Facebook, MSN, Yahoo, MySpace, etc that make billions of dollars from advertisements off you because you use their sites. Wow! It is always the small person that gets the hit eh?

Angry, Culture, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!

This morning, I got an email from a very sweet reader of mine. She is young, educated, but confused. (Aren’t we all?) Therefore, she wrote this guest post because she needs advice, and I know my readers have different views on the subject, and even experienced it and can probably help out.

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The following was written by a Palestinian Conservative Christian University student.:

It all started when I finally smiled, and this time It was for real. To start, there is about a 15 years age difference between Mr. Anonymous and I. The one with person that actually treats me so right is out of the picture for my family due to his religion. That it just plain ignorance. What I don’t understand is when my parents say that they only want to see me happy yet forbid me to see the man I am truly in love with. They contradict themselves. I am currently unhappy with my Fiancé and they are happy that I am with him just because he is of same faith. I don’t understand how they can be so happy for me when not a minute goes by that I am content with my relationship. I want it to end. I get disgusted by him. He is uneducated and control freak. We come from two totally different worlds. He comes from Jordan, and I come from America. Two different mentalities. He is also very obsessive and treats me like shit. There is absolutely no chemistry between him and I especially due to the language barrier him and I have.

What the heck? What the heck is the simple question I ask my self everyday that seems to have no logic answer (s). Why can they not just accept the fact that it’s my life and I should be able to make the decisions or MY own life. I am coming to a conclusion that my last resort is to run away with him. I am just so sick and tired of my family trying to control my lifestyle. I have been in contact with Mr. Anonymous recently and I have finally been able to breath again. He accepts me and loves me so much for who I truly am. I can be myself with and around him. That is something not permitted with Michael.

Updated: The writer of this guest post’s name in the comments is Anonymous. Address her if you would like to make any suggestions.

Advice, Blah Blah, Culture, Random Thoughts, Religion, They said what?, Whatever!