After the events of the year 2001, and the way the world portrayed us as Arabs, the psychological well being of Arabs have been affected dramatically. When something negative is said to a person who happens to be of Arab descent, then the first thing they say, “Oh, they know we are Arab, that’s why they treat us badly and hate us!”

In reality, when a non-Arab communicates with us, 99% of the time they have no clue where we are from. We are mistaken to be anyone else but Arab. And those from other cultures are mistaken as us. It all depends on what we wear really. Which is usually an Islamic attire, and not really an Arab related one. However, for those of us Arabs here that wear nothing that distinguishes as from the rest, then the likelihood of anyone figuring out our real ethnicity is slim to none.

[Photo Source]

So, why do Arabs constantly blame everyone else?

Us Arabs like to justify everything. We have to have a reason of why someone treated us like crap, or not giving us the level of utter respect that we deserve. Something in our heads keeps telling us that we are better than everyone else, and we must be treated the best way possible. Unfortunately, when you live in such a multicultural land, you are just like everyone else. Unless you are some famous Hollywood actor walking in the streets, then most likely, no one gives two shits about you.

So why am I mentioning all this?

You see, my lovely mother that I adore dearly, is a big time social butterfly. She knows people. A lot of people. And 99% of those people are Arab. So she keeps telling me random shit about what they say. The moment I hear it, and her believing it, makes me want to scream. My mother thinks that Arabs in this city, especially the older generation, gets treated badly or not given the proper customer care in anything, because they are Arab.

[Photo Source]

How did they know anyways they were Arab?

The moment she says that, I say, “Everyone treats everyone badly. You should see the customer service horror stories I read on the internet from “Non-Arabs!” Being an Arab has nothing to do with it. Why do you Arabs keep thinking that if the world doesn’t treat you well, then they are against you because you are an Arab!?”

Then my mom screams at me and tells me, “Aren’t you ARAB?”

When the conversation reaches that level, I just get up and leave. I don’t know why parents have to say that. We have no shame of being Arabs. Our generation has no shame with our identity and roots. We just disagree with a lot of things that you say and think. Things changed drastically. We are just like everyone else. If you believe you are different, walk the streets like you are an alien, then most likely you will unconsciously think that.

You define your roots. Your roots don’t define you.

Blah Blah, Confused, Culture, Featured, Random Thoughts, Religion, They said what?, Whatever!

Every day, I wonder about the people that I have met in my life. I feel that everyone I ever met served some type of purpose to help me grow as a person. Unfortunately, no one understood me or accepted me for who I am, but I am only talking about people I generally met through life. What about people that I considered friends?

Having a steady friendship with anyone is a big time chore now a days. I don’t know why either! I feel that I have to sacrifice who I am, or change my personality to adjust to theirs. It’s like I need to do something on my part to satisfy them and keep them in touch with me on a regular basis. If I don’t do something, they won’t do anything on their end either.

[Photo Source]

The problem with me I am a giver. I like to give, but I hardly ever ask for anything in return. I don’t mean it in a material sense, but like saying hello, how you are, and that’s it. I don’t ask for anything. I just believe that all the friendships I ever had were based on using me. I am only remembered by people when they need something.

I think that is another main reason why I kept this blog alive. On a daily basis, I feel that I am alone. I am always alone, and I can’t seem to find people to accept me for who I am or even remember me. So I made this blog to see if someone out there cares. Do people out there care to read my thoughts and see what I am thinking? Do they want to talk to me and get to know me for who I am? Are my thoughts messed up and I am the one with problems, or I just can’t understand people?

I don’t need to change who I am on the internet for people to accept me. That’s why I keep this up.

However, why do I need to in real life? I think I just met all the wrong people in my life, or maybe I accept everyone for who they are, but not everyone is like me. That’s the problem, not everyone is like me, and I cannot find many people who will understand people like me.

If I had to analyze my personality in depth, I would say that I am too honest, very accepting of others, very reserved, and likes to give and not take.

Unfortunately, analyzing myself is not going to help me in life. All I can do is learn about others, grow as a person from meeting so many different people with eccentric personalities, and live my life knowing that there are people out there that maybe like me for who I am. I have not met them yet, but I am hopeful. And maybe they want to actually be friends with me, and not expect me to do everything their way, only think their way, and to have the same exact interests as them.

We are all different, but some of us are rare individuals that need a bit more understanding of why we think and do the things we do.

Blah Blah, Depressed, Featured, Random Thoughts, They said what?

I know I got many non-Arab readers, but are you a reader of my site just for fun and entertainment, or something else? For example, after knowing me, and realizing I am just a normal girl with a bit of conservative views about life, would you ever be friends with an Arab like me in real life?

I got many people wondering why Arabs don’t like being friends with non-Arabs. It’s like us Arabs are known to be in a totally different world by our selves, but are we doing it on purpose, or “others” don’t understand us, so they don’t want to be friends with us?

[source picture one] [source picture two]

Therefore, would you accept us for who we are regardless of our conservative culture, religion, skin color, political problems, and fabricated stereotypes?

 Loading ...

Blah Blah, Confused, Culture, Featured, Random Thoughts, Religion, They said what?, Whatever!

Let me start by saying that I am truly overwhelmed right now, and I am trying so hard to organize my daily life. I never had a job like this where I am completely busy for 8.5 hours a day. I even eat at my desk, because I am always thinking! No wonder computer programmers’ keyboards are always filled with tiny chips and bread crumbs.

For those who are still wondering and never read the About Me page to know, I am a Computer Science graduate, and I am a programmer! I code stuff. Complicated stuff. Stuff that makes your experience using an application much easier. I make things user friendly. Aren’t I nice? I demand a cookie for being a girly-girly selfless geek!

Anyways, this constant thinking at work makes me extremely tired every day, and has been hindering my blogging time! I am so behind, and I don’t want to disappoint anyone with my lack of daily updates. I am going to start using those to-do task tool thingies that some other geek fellows created, and start being an organized Rebellious Arab Girl.

[source]

Understanding my Culture

I have gotten some great e-mails the past couple of days from people asking very good questions that I never addressed. So, what if you are a non-Arab and want to get acquainted with the Arab culture? How do you go about doing that? What do you need to know?

First off, let me introduce you to an Arab. Let me find one first! Wait, that’s me!!

1. I am 100% Arab. I speak Arabic. I was raised by an Arab family, and brought up in a conservative culture.

There is the magic word, conservative.

2. Not all Arabs are Muslims. Only around 80% – 85% of Arabic speaking people are Muslims. The rest are Christians, Jews, or other. Although different religions, but same culture and attitude towards life and family.

3. Arabs are very family oriented. They respect their family a lot, even distant cousins that they barely know.

4. Arabs have utter respect to their elders. Even if someone is a year older, they give them all the respect they deserve.

5. Arabs love to brag about their kids or anyone in their family that has excelled in “anything.”

Don’t think that I am using the word “anything” loosely here. I mean it, anything!

6. Arabs come in all shades of human skin color. The reason for that because the Arab world was under various European and Turkish rule. Also, the Arab world extends two continents with different climates. However, the original Arabs have a dark shade of olive skin or tan and dark eyes.

7. Not all Arabs wear turbans and live in tents in the desert. Who ever still does that are nomads living in the Arabian desert or other desert areas in the Arab world. The modern Arab world has malls and air conditioning, and even pizza delivery!

8. Arabs love their food! Oh the good tasty food! If you don’t feed us a good filling meal, we will mock you to eternity! So start learning to cook now! Hehehe!

Those are some of the positives I think that portray us Arabs as a great civilization. There are obviously a lot more that maybe my daily readers can point out in more detail in the comments area. However, point 3 and 4 above are the most important ones. That’s what makes our civilization so great!

Blah Blah, Culture, Featured, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!

There is a question that I don’t have a real answer for, but it is the most asked question that people ask me. This question is mostly asked because people think that the Rebellious Arab Girl is such a crazy odd girl who will do anything and everything.

Mona, why don’t you just marry a non-Arab?

What’s wrong with marrying a convert?

Mona, if you don’t like the Arabic culture, why not just marry outside of it and spare us your complaints?

Blah blah blah!

My answer is simple. I was raised a certain way, and I don’t want someone to get accustomed to the way I was brainwashed by the family and arabic culture, and I don’t have to get accustomed to his. However it is my choice, and I never looked down upon Arabs that marry outside of their culture. That is their choice and they have their reasoning to do so. I have no reason to judge, and no one should. I actually understand why they do that most of the time.

Why deal with the Arab in-laws that won’t leave you alone?

Why deal with messed up Arab customs that have no basis or reasoning?

Why deal with Arab backwards ideologies?

Those are just questions, and everyone has an answer to them. Many Arabs marry non-Arabs. It is known throughout history. A lot of people are against it, and I don’t know why. If it effects you directly, then go ahead and be angry about it. All I know is, that each person is held responsible for their own actions. Let them do what they please. Arab male or female, let them be.

I know there are so many problems with interracial marriages, especially the way Arabs perceive it, but what can you do? Arabs are so picky sometimes that they want their sons and daughters to only marry an Arab. However, this Arab has to be from the same country, speaks the same dialect, and is from the same village. What can you do? This is their mentality. Accept it, or leave it.

For me, I don’t have a problem with the interracial marriage thing, which I know why it happens. My problem is Arabs themselves who need to learn to accept each other first as Arabic speaking people. I used to get ridiculed for my messed up Arabic dialect by “other” Arabs who happen to be from the same old country as me. However, I am from a different region, but to them, I am from a different world. Therefore, this mentality is a reason that many Arabs (not me) resort to this solution of getting out of the whole Arabic messed up ideology, and just marry someone who doesn’t even speak the language and end it there.

Would I do it? Probably not. I like my language, and I like being an Arab. However, I am not rushing or ever thinking of this issue. I know there are so many problems in this culture of mine that make me want to abolish my roots, but seriously, it’s not so bad being an Arab. However, I believe that it is logical for an Arab to marry another Arab. If some Arabs think negatively of it, then maybe one day they will see the upside of the whole thing. If those Arabs really want things to change, then maybe they can start by the way they want to live their life, and raise their children in a more modern Arab lifestyle.

You change, things will change, and maybe you might be a little bit happier as a result. Right?

Not every Arab story is similar to Romeo and Juliette’s, where instead of the suicide, the result is the denial of your entire Arab roots. Let’s avoid that, and think of a way to change the messed up ideologies first, eh?

Blah Blah, Culture, Featured, Random Thoughts, Religion, They said what?, Whatever!