I know I got many non-Arab readers, but are you a reader of my site just for fun and entertainment, or something else? For example, after knowing me, and realizing I am just a normal girl with a bit of conservative views about life, would you ever be friends with an Arab like me in real life?

I got many people wondering why Arabs don’t like being friends with non-Arabs. It’s like us Arabs are known to be in a totally different world by our selves, but are we doing it on purpose, or “others” don’t understand us, so they don’t want to be friends with us?

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Therefore, would you accept us for who we are regardless of our conservative culture, religion, skin color, political problems, and fabricated stereotypes?

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Let me start by saying that I am truly overwhelmed right now, and I am trying so hard to organize my daily life. I never had a job like this where I am completely busy for 8.5 hours a day. I even eat at my desk, because I am always thinking! No wonder computer programmers’ keyboards are always filled with tiny chips and bread crumbs.

For those who are still wondering and never read the About Me page to know, I am a Computer Science graduate, and I am a programmer! I code stuff. Complicated stuff. Stuff that makes your experience using an application much easier. I make things user friendly. Aren’t I nice? I demand a cookie for being a girly-girly selfless geek!

Anyways, this constant thinking at work makes me extremely tired every day, and has been hindering my blogging time! I am so behind, and I don’t want to disappoint anyone with my lack of daily updates. I am going to start using those to-do task tool thingies that some other geek fellows created, and start being an organized Rebellious Arab Girl.

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Understanding my Culture

I have gotten some great e-mails the past couple of days from people asking very good questions that I never addressed. So, what if you are a non-Arab and want to get acquainted with the Arab culture? How do you go about doing that? What do you need to know?

First off, let me introduce you to an Arab. Let me find one first! Wait, that’s me!!

1. I am 100% Arab. I speak Arabic. I was raised by an Arab family, and brought up in a conservative culture.

There is the magic word, conservative.

2. Not all Arabs are Muslims. Only around 80% – 85% of Arabic speaking people are Muslims. The rest are Christians, Jews, or other. Although different religions, but same culture and attitude towards life and family.

3. Arabs are very family oriented. They respect their family a lot, even distant cousins that they barely know.

4. Arabs have utter respect to their elders. Even if someone is a year older, they give them all the respect they deserve.

5. Arabs love to brag about their kids or anyone in their family that has excelled in “anything.”

Don’t think that I am using the word “anything” loosely here. I mean it, anything!

6. Arabs come in all shades of human skin color. The reason for that because the Arab world was under various European and Turkish rule. Also, the Arab world extends two continents with different climates. However, the original Arabs have a dark shade of olive skin or tan and dark eyes.

7. Not all Arabs wear turbans and live in tents in the desert. Who ever still does that are nomads living in the Arabian desert or other desert areas in the Arab world. The modern Arab world has malls and air conditioning, and even pizza delivery!

8. Arabs love their food! Oh the good tasty food! If you don’t feed us a good filling meal, we will mock you to eternity! So start learning to cook now! Hehehe!

Those are some of the positives I think that portray us Arabs as a great civilization. There are obviously a lot more that maybe my daily readers can point out in more detail in the comments area. However, point 3 and 4 above are the most important ones. That’s what makes our civilization so great!

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There is a question that I don’t have a real answer for, but it is the most asked question that people ask me. This question is mostly asked because people think that the Rebellious Arab Girl is such a crazy odd girl who will do anything and everything.

Mona, why don’t you just marry a non-Arab?

What’s wrong with marrying a convert?

Mona, if you don’t like the Arabic culture, why not just marry outside of it and spare us your complaints?

Blah blah blah!

My answer is simple. I was raised a certain way, and I don’t want someone to get accustomed to the way I was brainwashed by the family and arabic culture, and I don’t have to get accustomed to his. However it is my choice, and I never looked down upon Arabs that marry outside of their culture. That is their choice and they have their reasoning to do so. I have no reason to judge, and no one should. I actually understand why they do that most of the time.

Why deal with the Arab in-laws that won’t leave you alone?

Why deal with messed up Arab customs that have no basis or reasoning?

Why deal with Arab backwards ideologies?

Those are just questions, and everyone has an answer to them. Many Arabs marry non-Arabs. It is known throughout history. A lot of people are against it, and I don’t know why. If it effects you directly, then go ahead and be angry about it. All I know is, that each person is held responsible for their own actions. Let them do what they please. Arab male or female, let them be.

I know there are so many problems with interracial marriages, especially the way Arabs perceive it, but what can you do? Arabs are so picky sometimes that they want their sons and daughters to only marry an Arab. However, this Arab has to be from the same country, speaks the same dialect, and is from the same village. What can you do? This is their mentality. Accept it, or leave it.

For me, I don’t have a problem with the interracial marriage thing, which I know why it happens. My problem is Arabs themselves who need to learn to accept each other first as Arabic speaking people. I used to get ridiculed for my messed up Arabic dialect by “other” Arabs who happen to be from the same old country as me. However, I am from a different region, but to them, I am from a different world. Therefore, this mentality is a reason that many Arabs (not me) resort to this solution of getting out of the whole Arabic messed up ideology, and just marry someone who doesn’t even speak the language and end it there.

Would I do it? Probably not. I like my language, and I like being an Arab. However, I am not rushing or ever thinking of this issue. I know there are so many problems in this culture of mine that make me want to abolish my roots, but seriously, it’s not so bad being an Arab. However, I believe that it is logical for an Arab to marry another Arab. If some Arabs think negatively of it, then maybe one day they will see the upside of the whole thing. If those Arabs really want things to change, then maybe they can start by the way they want to live their life, and raise their children in a more modern Arab lifestyle.

You change, things will change, and maybe you might be a little bit happier as a result. Right?

Not every Arab story is similar to Romeo and Juliette’s, where instead of the suicide, the result is the denial of your entire Arab roots. Let’s avoid that, and think of a way to change the messed up ideologies first, eh?

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I had a pretty interesting afternoon trying to figure out why so many Muslims have turned Atheists. They seem to come out more now, and don’t care. You would think, that out of all the religions, a conservative one such as Islam, you would not have such a lack of faith.

A few weeks ago, when I learned that my cousins turned Christian, I was a bit dumbfounded. It is disappointing; however, it would have been worse if they completely lacked the faith of a higher power. At least they still believe in God, right?

In general, this lack of faith has a lot to do with where they are currently living, or what they are exposed to. Also, more and more Muslims are reading too much into their religion, and see how others are slowly destroying the image of it. Western media is trying to destroy it slowly. Muslims are lacking faith and don’t want to live this life, and are turning into a complete and opposite direction. I feel like we are back over 1400 years ago at the time of Jahiliyyah. I thought we ended this era. However, it doesn’t seem to be the case at all in such an exposed technology driven world.

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I am not a Muslim scholar, or have the right to preach about any religion. All I know is that we are all raised a certain way. However, we all grow up to chose what is best for us. Some of us seem to lack faith, effected by media, or just read too much into a very simplistic religion. Why can’t people learn the basics of a religion? If everyone does that, no one would use religion in violent manners, to oppress others, or to manipulate other’s thoughts.

Also, what’s up with Muslims that say they are Muslims, but don’t follow the religion at all? What does it matter what others think of you religiously, if you don’t follow it or care enough to learn about it?

NOTE! Please, if you want to reply to this post, avoid talking about science, evolution, or the story of Adam & Eve. I don’t have time for never ending debates, and stick to the point of this article. Muslims that turned Atheists, or people who lack faith in their religion. Thank you.

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All this talk about religion this week, and reading others opinions, really got me thinking of lots of stuff to talk about today.

Many of you know about Sunnis and Shi’ite, the two main denominations in Islam. Well, as a Palestinian, it is very rare to find a Shi’ite Muslim. It is almost non-existent unless they are originally from Lebanon or Syria. Well, my grandmother was Shi’ite of Lebanese origin but born in Palestine. So that makes my dad half Sunni, half Shi’ite. Which makes me have many Lebanese Shi’ite cousins.

Ask me if I grew up caring about such a thing? The answer is no. To me, Islam is Islam. People just make a big deal about little past events, and give them selves new names with new religious traditions.

Unfortunately, many people make a big deal about denominations. It’s like Catholic and Orthodox Christians. Different customs and beliefs in minor things.

One time I was at an engagement party, and a Palestinian girl that I knew made such a big deal that our Sunni Syrian friend was getting engaged to a Shi’ite Lebanese. She treated it like the girl was committing a sin or something. I didn’t want to argue with her or start a never ending debate. I never tell people that I am 1/4 Shi’ite and it doesn’t bother me or I even care about denominations, because I know people’s reactions towards such a thing.

In the end of the day, I don’t care, and such segregations are the reasons for wars, hatred, and prejudice within a religion.

I wonder how children brought up with parents of different religions turn out? Hmm??

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