My dad pointed out that we have arrived to Canada 13 years ago today. Add that to the 5 years I lived in USA, and you got a legal age! Yep, I have been living outside of the Arab world officially for 18 years. I am officially legally westernized.

Oh dear, I cannot believe it. 13 years in this country and I spent around 12 years of it complaining. You have to realize that I had a personal website live on the inter-web back then. That’s how much of a loser I was. I wrote poems (complaining about my life), shared favourite actors pictures (Brad Pitt, Antonio Banderas, Bruce Willis, etc), and the best thing of all, I was in still in highschool studying the process of photosynthesis and the detailed stages of meiosis.

Was I destined to be a programmer? Was I destined to complain all my life? I keep telling a lady at work that all I do is complain. I just love it, and I find fault in everything. I just love perfection and being super organized. I get a headache when there is chaos and disorganization.

Therefore, I should be thankful that a country accepted us as citizens. The funny thing that 13 years ago, when I arrived to this land, it was written in my immigration papers that my country of birth nationality was the following: Stateless. I was a gal without a country. Now, I got a second beautiful home, and a beautiful story and love of my Palestinian country and ancestors to share with the world.

My work place… women… divorced… have children… need a man… mission to find a man… but how… online dating sites!

When at least 3 or 4 women at my work place gather around, and I happen to be there hearing them, the conversation goes from work schedule to men. I sit there staring at them because I cannot engage in their conversation. I am like… ahh… I am staying out this! When I hear them I just laugh, and my eyes widen from the shock of the things that come out of their mouths. Then I say to my self, “Is there a hidden camera anywhere?”

The stories that they converse about are beyond unbelievable. I thought TV was fictional or over exaggerated real stories. Nop! Reality is even worse, and it is actually less shocking on TV or not even close to reality.

Since I don’t watch TV much at all, my work is becoming a lot more entertaining. Live entertainment, who can say no to that?

Here is big fat question! I asked my mom today, “Why do so many (Arab) women gain incredible amount of weight after they get married and have kids? How is that appealing?”

Mom’s answer, “They are old and no one judges them at their age regarding the way they look. They have been married for so many years and their kids have kids now.”

So, it’s ok to be 50+ years old woman and weigh over 300 pounds? But it is NOT ok to be a healthy 20 something year old who’s skeletal structure is not popping out?

Where is the justice in our cultural system?

Then the older men that are reading this are secretly telling them selves, “Yes, that’s my wife and I am sleeping with her younger not obese friend!”

Women wake up!!

I feel like laughing today. I am not sure why, but it seems that I need a good old laugh. Maybe even a little chuckle every now and then. I just need pure entertainment in my life because damn it people, life sucks ass and dumb people make it ever so amusing.

I have not done this in a while, and I need to regain my blog’s mojo. Therefore, I went through my site’s statistics of peoples’ keyword searches that landed them on my humble blog. Oh the ridiculousness.

Google Key Phrase Searches and My Answers

1. “arabic girl sleeping and woke up naked”
I read that and said, Jeez Louise! What kind of spell was casted to get her clothes off while she was passed out?

2. “why are arabs so ugly”
I am ugly. Does everyone agree?

3. “why am i like this”
Who ever wrote this asked the internet why they are like that? And they are supposed to get a correct response? My only response, because you suck!

4. “i hate capricorns”
I hate you too.

5. “how do you know me”
No no. The question is, HOW do you know ME?

6. “arab girl making point”
Us making a point? Well, usually we try to by thinking first, then making that point.

7. “who arab girls think are pretty”
I think everyone is beautiful, because God made them beautiful!

8. “what is sunnah wedding dress”
Dress that doesn’t show your cleavage and your ass.

9. “italians are arabs”
Well, if we go back to history, Italians are of Roman descent. Romans conquered the middle east, then those Arabs went all over the place and everyone started mating like wild monkeys and the gene pool spread out. So Italians can be Arabs and Arabs can be Italians. It’s the whole spreading the love thing through out ancient times.

10. “arab girl with doctor in office”
*Chuckle* Who the fuck comes up with this shit?

11. “arab girl freend program com”
No freend program for you! FAIL!

12. “i know something you dont know”
I know everything you don’t want to know!

13. “i am not the typical arab girl that you think i am”
Oh yah, do tell, and email me and let’s “talk!” Me like you already dudette!!

14. “dance of arabian mohajabat”
Mohajabat (vieled women) dance? The Blasphemy!! Do they have a special dance?

15. “why am i scared of arab people”
Because we look like you, a HUMAN BEING!

16. “any one share bed with arab girl”
And Google was supposed to answer that for you?

17. “what age do arabic boys have to marry”
When mommy says so!

18. “is 30 very old to get married for an arab woman”
Yes, and since I am 29 now, next year hopefully, my life would be over and I will be ancient and I should DIE of humility!!

19. “how do arabs show affection of love”
Good question. I don’t know.

20. “gırl arab to marry ı need lots of pıcture to see”
Let me guess, arranged marriage?

21. “beauty standards for women arabic”
White. Super skinny. Small nose. Fake eye brows. And if she can afford it, fake boobs and a well shaped huge ass.

22. “why are arab girls so hot?”
I thought earlier someone said that Arabs are ugly. MAKE UP YOUR MIND PEOPLE! Jeez!

23. “who are aquarians not compatible with”
Capricorns. Ask me, I KNOW!

24. “should a girl poke a guy on facebook”
LOOL! You are kidden me right? Poke him! Poke the hell out of him till he virtually does it back!

25. “why do we follow our heart”
It helps if you do, or you would be labeled as heartless. DUH!

26. “how do muslim girls have fair skin”
They are born with it, they don’t make it! Jeez! We are all different!

27. “im arab and people keep staring at me”
Maybe they are checking you out. Take the compliment!

28. “arabic girls want immgration”
Damn right they do! And to this side of the world, and they will marry any loser from here, even if he is a drunken Arab fool with the worse rep in town!

29. “why do arabs like dark skin girls?”
I thought they liked fair skin girl? Oh man.. make up your minds people! I am confused!

30. “arabs get engaged quickly”
Yep.. purely ridiculous; hence, people’s constant question, “do Arabs actually love?”

31. “why does arabic girls hav dark eyebrows”
Maybe because 98% of Arabs have dark hair… ???

32. “arranged marriage out of loneliness”
You mean arranged marriage was a result of loneliness.

33. “why arent there more arab people in my town”
Tell them to move there! Free Visa!! They will populate it so quickly!!!

A few weeks ago, I watched the movie “Wedding Crashers.” It was pretty funny I might say, and it was really inspirational. I think I want to do that too once in a while. I just need someone to act out the part along side of me and I am set! But none of that promiscuous stuff!

I don’t know why I brought this up, but I guess it’s funny how people act sometimes, and leads me to think of something that is way out there! I wonder who’s wedding I want to crash first? Hmm!! I will start with small weddings in late April or even May! Right now I am busy, but I got to plan eh?

Anyways, I don’t know why sometimes I say I won’t do something again, but I end up being all nice and let things slide. As I thought about it some more, I think I do such things for a reason, and that reason being to see how far people will go to avoid telling the truth or mentioning anything slightly important.

I know I have been a total pigment of people’s imagination, and a person that people love to forget, but come on! I am still human. It’s nice for you to tell me some important things sometimes. Maybe I will even tell you congratulations. However, the longer you wait to tell me something, or avoid me completely like I am someone who is on the bottom of your list, then don’t expect me to be nice to you ever again, or even talk to you or bother. (I don’t want to really talk to you again, because I don’t know.. it dragged on too long now and I got tired of waiting to see if you will change your mind.) I may even wish you the worst of luck.

But I won’t do that.. I am not mean or envious. I just don’t give a crap about anyone anymore, because no one would do the same for me.

You are lucky I am nice, but I am way too smart and I know everything. It’s my motto in life; “know as many interesting things that you possibly can.” I don’t know though if some people are interesting at all, but sometimes God just tells me to get up in the middle of the night, and find out the truth without anyone’s help!

When I got home yesterday evening, my mother came up to me and asked, “Do you think I lost weight?” I looked at her and said, “I don’t think so. You look the same to me.”

Then she continued on, “I know! I eat the same thing, wear the same clothes, and I don’t do anything different. Or maybe because I don’t eat bread much?”

I said, “Ok?”

My dad said to my mom, “So, which of your friends told you that you lost weight?”

Mom said, “Well, this and that said so.”

I said, “Maybe because they keep gaining weight, they think everyone else has changed too compared to them!”

My mom said, “How so?”

I said, “Simple. When you are no longer a similar size to them, they think you lost weight. However, in reality, they are the ones that have been gaining weight, and you are the same as you have always been.”

Mom said, “Maybe you are right!”

I said, “Don’t you Arab women or older women have better things to talk about??”

Mom said, “What’s there to talk about?”

I said, “Better than gossiping about other people. I give you credit for that!”

This is part four of the year end manifestation of the life of my blog.

I have continually suffered this year from the well known blogger epidemic: the writer’s block. Oh dear! Last night, as I was looking back through the archives of this year, I noticed a considerable gap between posts, and an average of 20 – 25 posts a month. I used to go up to 40, 50, or even over 70 per month the past years. What happened to me?

I will tell you what happened, I became less of a maniac writer every time I got mad, and more of a take a deep breath before you word vomit anything bloggerette. (Plus I slept a lot more this year!) I tried too hard this year to not write things that will make me delete it a day or two after. I have done that a lot in the past. Sometimes I didn’t know when I crossed the line. I had many of “should have never been” posts. This year, not too much.

Anyways, I wrote enough for today. My new year’s resolution for my blog next year, if I am stuck and can’t write anything proper, to sing a song instead.

Sing with me my lovely watchers!

I say Reb, you say Rebellious!
You say what? Rebellious Mona!
You say what? Rebellious Mona!

I say gurl, you say Rebellious!
You say who? Rebellious Girl!
You say who? Rebellious Girl!

I say Arab, you say Really????
You say who? Rebellious Arab Girl!
You say who? Rebellious Arab Girl!

I say change, you say When??
I say now!
You say when? I say now!
You say Where? I say here!
You say Where? I say HERE!

*yawn*

This is a better thing to listen to:

This is part three of the year end manifestation of the life of my blog.

My blog this year won so many awards, that I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count them! NOT!! (Didn’t I sound cheesy and dorky like the rest of the bloggers out there?) But yes, my blog won a lot of invisible mind boggling awards. I won people’s readerships. That’s the biggest award I can get as a blogger. I don’t care about best blog, or best writer, or best anything. Who cares? It’s like winning a virtual banner to advertise someone else’s bright idea that started the campaign.

Really, if the prize was money based, then people will be all over it! I would be so all over it!

So, I am gonna list the top blog posts this year by comments, my favorites, and ones that I should have never published, but found their way online cause of my insomnia or excessive amounts of coffee!

Top Blog Posts 2009 | Comments & Reactions

1. April 28, 2009 | It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a conspiracy theory!
2. June 7, 2009 | The Arab Blogorette
3. June 16, 2009 | I think it is time for change!
4. August 25, 2009 | Why are Muslims turning Atheists?
5. August 30, 2009 | Analysis: It is much harder to get rid of her
6. September 7, 2009 | Arabs marrying non-Arabs
7. September 18, 2009 | Window shopping for a bride
8. October 27, 2009 | Symbols of being different

Top Blog Posts 2009 | Monaism & Love

1. January 15, 2009 | Are good people always the victims of life?
2. March 31, 2009 | How accurate is this?
3. April 20, 2009 | Airports think I am a perv!
4. May 21, 2009 | A way to relieve stress
5. July 15, 2009 | Teaching a child the basics of the internet world
6. September 6, 2009 | No Comment
7. September 24, 2009 | I am sick and tired of looking for work!!! NO MORE!
8. December 4, 2009 | The typicals
9. December 26, 2009 | I am the master of my choices

Top Blog Pots 2009 | Those That Should Have Never Been

1. January 28, 2009 | The blogging world is run by monkeys
2. May 4, 2009 | I thought I held the title of taking things too seriously
3. June 20, 2009 | The media has been following me for over two decades
4. September 26, 2009 | I don’t like talking about sex in public

This is part two of the year end manifestation of the life of my blog.

I am scared to look back. I am scared to look at the archives on this blog from January 2009 till this date. I have never complained so much about life as I did this year. This year, I complained more about life than having a stupid ass boyfriend. How sad is that?

The Complaints Department

• I complained about the past in all shapes and forms.
• I complained about an entire culture without regrets.
• I complained about looking for work and how unfair it is.
• I complained about friends.
• I complained about family.
• I complained about strangers.
• I complained about the way that I shouldn’t be thinking.
• I complained about you.
• I complained about me.
• I just can’t stop complaining. I just word vomit complaints.

Moreover, this uncontrollable habit of mine lead my visitors to have this one and only perception of who I am, that they think they are winning by using it against me every time I tell them off. Hello! I always admit that I complain too much every single time. Why are you stating the obvious? You couldn’t come up with anything better?

Oh, and for those that think my blog sucks, my writing sucks, and all I do is complain, then WHY THE HELL DO YOU READ IT DAILY!? You guys mystify me. I am serious. It’s like trying to get that hot girl across the street to like you no matter what, but you keep getting slapped on the face every time. And you continue on trying again the next day. When do you learn to give up? Things will not change THAT EASILY.

Enough complaining for now Mona (as in me.) I promise you that someday in the near feature, maybe in the next decade or two, my complaints will increase ten folds.

It’s great being a girl. I got excuses for everything!

When you are bored, you come up with the following pointless blog post that you should NOT click publish on. However, I do that about 50% of the time, but who’s counting?

If I had a choice in world matters concerning Oxford Dictionary entries, I think my blog title should be considered as one in the following manner,

Rebellious Arab Girl
re⋅bel⋅lious Ar⋅ab girl
/rɪˈbɛlyəs/ /ˈærəb/ /gɜrl/

–noun
1. a female defying or resisting some established authority, government, or tradition; insubordinate; inclined to rebel; who happens to be a member of a Semitic people inhabiting Arabia and other countries of the Middle East.

You can tell I am bored. Maybe I should go bake some cookies, or sleep. That pot of coffee didn’t do shit today! I think it is just winter; short days, cold nights, and a reason to whine more, or waste time reading through the dictionary.

Yes, I am a seeker of knowledge (geek). I read useless articles and entries on Wikipedia, the Dictionary, and Encyclopedia Britannica to kill time. That’s one of my hobbies. Sad isn’t it?

Any lamos out there like me with shameful hobbies? Speak up. Don’t be shy. No one will know.