I am guilty of many things in life. Like being outspoken, writing things on my humble blog without caring who reads it, trashing people that deserve it or not deserve it so much, and pointing out what’s wrong with Arabs and receiving a multitude of whining emails. However, what I don’t like is people telling me that they wasted their afternoon reading my blog.

Blasphemy! That’s the worst insult ever! Well, more like a praise actually!

This evening, I received an email from a new reader. He was not happy in the beginning. I read the first line that he wrote, and I was like shit, do I want to go on? Then I realized that his wit and charm was like no other person that ever emailed. I laughed. I laughed so hard! I told him that I have to POST IT NOW!

Murad wrote,

I’m very angry with your website. You’re turning me into an irresponsible medical student, with your well-versed blog entries and your creative subject matter. Have you no shame? I’m suppose to be studying for an anatomy exam, and I just spent three hours browsing through your web entries! Gaah! I’m not asking you to stop being a great writer, but you need to quit writing about things I agree with. It’s distracting and too pleasurable. I’ll check up on the website every now and then to make sure this doesn’t happen again. =D

Murad, I never apologize to anyone from blog reader world, but since you did top the ranks of funny and putting a big grin on my face, I do give you my sincerest apologizes for making you procrastinate from your studies. If you become a mediocre doctor in the future, I will give you full permission to do surgery on my head!

Funny, They said what?

Happy Halloween!! I was told today that my carved pumpkin at our front door was the best in the neighborhood! One guy who came at the door with his kids even video taped it! I took pictures too to share with the world. I haven’t carved a pumpkin for a few years now, and today my creative carving techniques came into play!

Dad went everywhere to find medium sized pumpkins because he wanted my sister and I to carve some this year.

Cool eh? What do you guys think?

Also, for those that know Arabic, this is my dad’s new phrase to try to scare my sister and I: “Trick or treat, abooky 3afreet!” Hahaha!!

P.S. For those of you over the years that keep telling me that Halloween is haram, then save your self the preaching. I like to give candy to kids. If I can do it every day, I will! I love seeing 3 or 4 year old dressed up and asking for candy! It is the cutest thing ever!

Blah Blah, Funny, They said what?, Whatever!

I can’t believe it, it has been one month since I have been employed! Wow, it feels just like yesterday I was complaining about the unfair working world, and my utter hate and evident depression of going to interviews.

Yesterday, some people wanted me to do a comparison between my old job, my time off, and my current job. Well then, this will be a long post! Be warned! I will be mocking and hating something from the past!

The Distant Past

When I first started this blog, I had a few reasons behind it. Obviously, all of you know what the main reason was, but that ended thank God; however, horribly. The second reason that somehow evolved on its own, was to complain about a job that I couldn’t stand. I had a job as a computer programmer for 6.5 years straight. From when I was 21 to 27 years of age.  Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t the pay per say. It was the unfair treatment between all the employees in one room, and co-workers that were arrogant show offs that I could not stand. After about 3 years into the job, I was going to work every day, and praying to God that no one will say anything stupid, selfish and beyond ridiculous for once. Not only that, most of them didn’t do any work. They were there because they were there. What’s the odd of firing people that kiss ass all day, and deliver a Monet software product? Most of our software products had no real hard deadlines, and kept being worked on for years and years? Job security? You think!?

Moreover, I hate sucking up to people. I hate it, hate it, hate it! I feel that I am kissing someone’s shoe when I do that. It’s disgusting. I feel that I am lowering my values and intelligence for someone who is not worth my time of day, and I could never benefit from in the future. To tell you the truth, that last part seems selfish, but there is a difference between friendships and friends for benefits. You can tell that type of friendship right away, and I will tell you eventually in this post how I started hating that particular type of friendship altogether.

So, if you have been an avid reader of my blog for at least three years or so, you would have noticed some posts about my old job. However, those posts were removed after a day or two. It took my brain that long to realize that, oh no, I am gonna get fired! My most regretful mistake at the time was telling some people about my blog, hence, my boss and certain co-workers that read it. I was sure they didn’t read it daily, and that saved my ass! However, I told them because I felt there was a trust, and I really didn’t care at the time. Unfortunately, over time, I just couldn’t hold my anger at all. There were some days when I went home crying and telling my self, that’s it, I am gonna resign tomorrow!

And three years later, I had the guts to do it! The suffering though throughout that time was not fun. I had a serious problem with my co-workers. I did not like any of them, and I had reasons that would have made anyone dumbfounded by my patience and tolerance of such behaviors.  I probably never complained about them directly to my boss, or bothered, because it was a favorites game, and I didn’t want to be a part of it. Hence, the world of IT managers is pointless! They do nothing but hold a title! Anyways, so, some of my x-co-workers over time called me fat, over weight, ugly, stupid coder, I get paid the most with full benefits and you don’t loser, ugly designer, stupid Palestinian and you should go back to your home land, and the list goes on.

I never mentioned these problems, because I decided that I rather take advantage of the stupid job. Like work part time at a full time salary, and take courses while I am at work. What job would have let me leave once or twice a day for an hour or two hour lecture? When the whole place was unfair and messed up, then anything ridiculous to the normal working work is tolerated.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to seem like I am one of those ungrateful people who should be thankful for having a job for that long. On the contrary, I benefited a lot from the job. I learned what type of people to avoid in any work place, to never be personal and overly friendly with anyone, and just do my work and keep enhancing my skills on my own.

That’s all I learned really from being there.

[source]

Self-Forced Vacation Time

I had to resign. I had to resign with my head high, and when every single ounce of patience within me has evaporated to thin air! August of 2008, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I was having serious physical problems such as the famous uncontrollable heart palpitations that creeps up on me every now and then. Don’t even get me started on the psychological problems I was having for all those years. When I resigned, I felt that the world was my oyster! I did it, and I was more proud of resigning from that job than earning a Bachelor of Science degree from a famous Canadian University! I was seriously hoping for a standing ovation, and a song to be sang with the title, “Mona rules, and takes shit from no one!”

Therefore, I resigned, and I took a vacation. However, my vacation after the month of January of this year seemed to have escalated into boredom and my parents said STOP BEING A LAZY ASS, and I felt that I needed to be useful to the world. I decided that maybe I should look for a job while I worked full time as a blogger making some money from this little venture. So, I spiced up that resume, and told some companies, “Yo computer peepz! I need a job, I got the skills, so do you want me to come and work for ya?”

After a time span of conception to birth, I got a job. People have labeled me as the most patient complaining person on earth! People said, “Mona, get a job, ANY JOB!” Mona said, “I am not desperate yet! I got money in the bank for two more years and I love to complain!”

Therefore, self-forced vacation time was the best time in my life. I learned patience. I learned what I wanted from life. I figured out that being a highly skilled programmer with eccentric design skills, is better than trying to reach over the top heights so quickly. Also, being lead by some incompetent IT manager who only knew how to talk and get people to like him or her, was not on my list of future tolerated jobs.

Let’s talk about friendships now. You see, I cannot have fake friendships, and I don’t even want to seem as the fake friend. I believe friendships are meaningful, and you feel that person can understand you and accepts you for who you are. Also, that friend should not question everything you say and your lifestyle, and does not act like they are better than you and know more, and force feed you unwanted advice. When you have a friend that you feel that you need a friendship only to benefit from, then that friendship will never last. Eventually, you will start distancing your self from them, and realizing that they don’t care anyways. They will only remember you when they realize that oh, “Where’s Mona this month?”

Current Blissful State of Mind

After a month into the job, I couldn’t be happier. I don’t have an IT manager. Thank the almighty Lord for my request! My bosses are the owners of a small successful business of a particular professional niche. Everyone is treated equally. Everyone is respectful and educated. Everyone is too busy, do incredible amount of work per day, and I don’t feel like the odd one out. Everyone is nice, and says hi to me every day with a smile. Also, they want to converse with me and tell me cute stories about the weather. I don’t care if they interrupt me while I am working. I love working with people around me while I am coding. When I concentrate too much, I feel lost in a brain of Mona with many mazes. They help me get out of that with their minor interruptions.

Therefore, I work with cute busy-bee people!

Oh, did I mention the free coffee? I was sold on that one, and I had no excuse to argue salary expectations with them. Just give a programmer free coffee, and they are sold on anything!

Joy to the world, I got a kick ass sweet job! Amen!

Angry, Blah Blah, Confused, Depressed, Funny, Happy, Idiots, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!

It’s here again!! Questions and questions that people searched through Google, and somehow ended up on my site instead. I feel bad for you! If I did answer your question somehow in one of my posts and you were satisfied, then dear Lord!! I do have all the answers to the mystical lifestyles of Arabs! I will give a better answer on this post anyways.

I gathered only questions (so all ended with ‘?’) from searches to my site this time from Google. People want answers to them!! Ah.. so demanding.

1. Can Arabs have fair skin?

Well, I don’t see why not. We are a mix of everything you know. We are the MIDDLE east.

2. Why Arabs are backward?

If I answer this question, I will start getting hate mail from some idiots who’s names sound male like and Arabic.

3. Is it possible to feel an instant connection to someone?

Yah, I had that feeling before. None of them worked out. So don’t believe it.

4, What it mean if a girl say sorry?

She means sorry. Does everything a girl say has to have a double meaning?

5. Why is using your conscience a good thing?

I don’t know. It seems an ok safe thing you know. Try it!

6. Is it typical for an Arab to introduce you to his family?

Yah. Sort of. You got to meet the entire family because you will eventually marry into that entire family! Have you seen “My Big Fat Greek Wedding?” Pretend that movie is “My Big Fat Arab Wedding.” It is exactly the same lifestyle!

7. Are Arabs good looking?

Well, in every culture and ethnicity, there is the pretty, the ugly, and pretty ugly. We are no different! And if I show you some pictures of Arab singers and actors, then you would say, “Why are Arabs so damn good looking?!”

8. Why Arabs cannot pronounce p?

It’s not in our alphabet! That’s why Arabs who learn English as adults say it B instead of P.

9. Why do we get angry or annoyed with the person we love?

Because if we don’t, then we have nothing to talk about with them.

10. Would a Capricorn male end a relationship without a good bye?

Capricorn males and females are the same. So yes, we would end it without a good bye because we are considerate to your feelings of being rejected.

11. Why does my family wants me to marry a girl I don’t want?

If you are Arab, then I understand your pain. Move away, don’t say you want to ever get married till your 40, and then your parents would not care anymore who you marry or if you marry anymore.

12. What should I do if a girl is staring at me?

Stare back at her, and roll your eyes. That seems to always work!

13. What to do when someone insults you and you cant say anything to them?

Roll your eyes then flip them off!

14. What can u do if your husband is always angry at you?

Nothing. Most likely he is angry or acts angry because he is cheating on you, and wants any excuse to divorce you.

15. Does this Arab guy like me or something?

I don’ t know. Go ask him. Why did you come to my site trying to find an answer to that?

16. Why do western men dislike Arab girls?

Really? I don’t think so, because I have the opposite problem. Arab guys dislike me and westerners like me.

17. Why do people strive for perfection?

Because it is the only thing they can strive for and never reach. So they keep on trying and trying.

18. Why Arabs need to marry Arabs?

Language and cultural thing, and like I kept mentioning a million times. You are marrying the entire family, and not just the person!

19. How to please an Arab girls parents?

Be charming, rich, and say yes to everything!

20. What is peculiar about being an Arab?

Oh! Do I have to answer this? Because if I do, hell will break lose and hate mail from those anal people again will pour down on me like acid rain!

21. Where can I find a decent Palestinian guy?

You tell me, because I can’t find one!!

Blah Blah, Funny, They said what?, Whatever!

The social networking scene around the world is dramatically reacting to the Nobel Peace Prize that US President Barrack Obama received a couple of days ago. So many people are ecstatic about it, and not asking themselves, “why?” I find it hilarious that he won the Prize based only on his campaign and future visions of peace, and better political ties with other nations. You know what would be even funnier? That everything he promised he would not be able to accomplish fully during his presidency!

If that happens, would they revoke the prize?

Anyways, so you can win a Nobel Peace Prize for only having a vision of a good future. Wow, well then. I need to get started on mine. Let me continue my campaign that I started a few months back.

Vote for the Rebellious Arab Girl today!

1. She promises you peace in the middle east!

2. She promises you democracy in each Arab country with 4 – 6 year election time frames with citizens voting new leaderships!

3. She promises you a separation between religion and the state!

4. She promises you no more visa requirements for Arabs to visit other Arab countries!

5. She promises you Palestine to return to its rightful owners!

6. She promises you government funding for each Arab University to allow and contribute their scientific research to the world!

7. She promises you equality in the work force between the sexes!

Well, after I wrote all these promises out, I slapped my self silly and told my self, “Mona, are you on crack?”

Advertising, Blah Blah, Culture, Funny, They said what?, Whatever!