This is the second part of yesterday’s post.. or in other words, today’s latest events. Ok, so this is what happened today! I went to work early, like always. So one of the guys came in soon after me and discussed what happened in yesterday’s meeting. I told him other things that have been going on and he told me, “Don’t worry about it. Just learn to say no.”

About 15 minutes later, I had to step out. I came back within 10 minutes, and the moment I got off the elevator, I could hear a loud women’s voice arguing. You must know, that the office suite is one of three on that floor. If I could hear her right off the elevator, then anyone else can.

I heard the raging voice, and I quickly ran down the hall way to another quicker access door to where my desk is. (The bosses are not there from today and all of next week). Then I told the other programmer, she is at the front angry and won’t stop complaining. He said, “Why?” I told him, “Don’t you remember yesterday?” (He doesn’t care at all really.)

I sat quietly on my desk working with my headphone on and groovy Mona music. Few minutes later, she raged down the hall with a frantic voice and said, “Good morning! This is the new tech support lady!”

When I heard that, I refused to answer back or even bother with her. She scares the hell out of me. I don’t understand her problem. She works in a small company that is quickly turning its focus to software only, and she is supposedly managing the customers. Why does she complain? She doesn’t even have to do anything technical at all. The work has been delegated equally to everyone that has the knowledge and experience to do it. Her job is to take off the load from me when people ask me stupid questions about how to find this in the software or do you have this yet? She does not understand that, and she thinks she is doing the “technical” part now.

She refused to talk to me most of the day, like I did something horrible to her. I didn’t do shit. All I know I was hired for one very important thing that is pretty much keeping the place alive and keeping her job. She just wanted to take advantage of me because I am nice and responsive. Now her scapegoat (me) is no longer available!

Technical to me means something totally different. To me technical is understanding technology and how it works. To me technical is solving complicated technical problems from years of experience and practice. To me technical is trying to figure out bugs, and quickly solving them in order for someone else to continue on using the technical product. That’s it!

You see, this is life. The majority of people who have a job are incompetent fools. Or they are people who only know how to do one thing, and do not ever want to learn or refuse to learn anything new. They are stationary in their fields, and to them change is a big stumbling block to their life! They hate it. They don’t want to do it, and they argue any way they can to not have to do it.

Unfortunately, if you are not ready for what will happen next week, then yesterday seems like last year in this rapidly moving world.

I don’t care about nasty emails or nasty comments. I am immune to them and I don’t care who wrote them. I placed a big bold message on my contact page a long time ago that says that if you insult me, then I will publicly display it. If you posted the wrong email address, then you have wasted my time. Can you imagine if someone did both? It is like a hit and run situation thinking that they will never get caught.

A lot of people think outside of the box, which is great, and they pointed out different possibilities from the previous post. That is fine, except you guys missed the bigger picture. I do not purposely provoke people to reach this level of personal insults. I don’t do it to get attention. Some said that I don’t deserve it. Most people judge me from one post, and I got used to it. People cannot accept the difference, and I am very different.

You guys think I just get nasty emails or horrible comments? Think again. Many websites and forums discuss my “teenage immature writing style” by emphasizing the very old posts that caused and still causing a commotion. I just write this way. I don’t think hard and try to come up with sophisticated attention grabbing posts. That is never my intention when I write. I just write what is on my mind, and my mind is an infinite sized mass of ideas.

Let’s think outside the box for a bit and discuss an important issue. You see, many people think when I write about Canada, that I hate being an Arab and forgot my roots. If I write about being an Arab and loving it, then people think I don’t appreciate the land that I live in now with the “better” life, and I have to thank God because many people back home don’t have food and water. There is no happy medium. No one is ever satisfied with my way of thinking or living.

I discussed a very important subject with my mother yesterday. I asked her, “Why are Arabs back home in the Arab world have serious dislike to Arabs living here?” She said, “They are just jealous and resentful of the Arabs here. The moment they get a Visa or are accepted for immigration, they will leave everything behind such as: family, friends, and loved ones without hesitating to look back. It’s the land of opportunity and it is worth it! Some of us wish to go back home and live there, but we were kicked out and told to leave our homes. It’s not like we had a choice to be here. We are lucky someone accepted us to live a peaceful life with human rights.”

While I was snooping the internet searching for the essence of my Rebellious name online, all I found was mostly negative feedback from Arabs back home toward me. They hate my site. They call me names. They ridicule me and make an instant judgment that I live in USA and that’s why my thought process is like “this.” Not like there is no other Westernized country in the world that speaks English other than USA. No no.. Auto-Arab-Judgment. Speaks fluent English: USA. Has absurd but truthful ideas: westernized Arab in USA. Totally unashamed to speak the truth: totally USA.

I learned to accept the difference and move on, why didn’t you?

I just woke up and checked my lovely emails, and one was so straight forward and to the point, that I had to post it on my blog.

Actually, I have to post it because I tried to reply to this person, but it seems they misspelled their email or something.

Your Name: zaher
Email: lacoperon@fastpost.net
Website: http://
Message:
I am an Arab, and I think that you are a brainwashed and superficial lady, with no dignity or honor. You are a disgrace to your people and culture. Please go to Hell soon.

He asked me nicely to go to Hell soon. He said Please! All I wanted to reply saying, “See you there soon too!”

Isn’t it funny that a person would admit that there is something wrong with them?

Would you admit to the world if something is wrong with you?

The Disruptive Sleeping Patterns

So here it goes. I am a mentally disturbed person, and it is getting worse daily with my lack of sleep. I sleep for about 4 hours a day now. Why? I have no clue. I just wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep.

Yesterday night, I woke up at 2 am and I tried to close my eyes again and doze off, then I had a weird feeling that someone is shoving me and I woke up again! I know, I am mentally disturbed. The problem is that I go to work half asleep and the high dosage of caffeine is not helping.

Bitter Thoughts Resulted from People

Isn’t it funny that people spend 100’s of dollars on clothes and purses just to show off? Yet, they were cheap asses and horrible money managers and always ask you for money for gas or food? I wonder how they would feel if someone suggested for them to donate their money to I don’t know, some organization to help children and dying people in Palestine for example.

I am Not a People Person

I don’t like people. Simple as that. But you have to realize that people are the cause of my mentally disturbed thought process. Look at me! Do I write normal? Do I speak normal? Am I typical?

Emailing Back

For those people subscribed to my blog through email must realize that you CANNOT reply back me through those emails. The return sender on those emails are noreply@rebelliousarabgirl.net. I will not answer you back if you reply to them. Come to my site and comment, or send me a question through my contact page. It’s unbelievable the number of people that have replied in the former method and bitch at me for not replying back to them.

Enough ranting for today. Time to make some coffee.

I feel like laughing today. I am not sure why, but it seems that I need a good old laugh. Maybe even a little chuckle every now and then. I just need pure entertainment in my life because damn it people, life sucks ass and dumb people make it ever so amusing.

I have not done this in a while, and I need to regain my blog’s mojo. Therefore, I went through my site’s statistics of peoples’ keyword searches that landed them on my humble blog. Oh the ridiculousness.

Google Key Phrase Searches and My Answers

1. “arabic girl sleeping and woke up naked”
I read that and said, Jeez Louise! What kind of spell was casted to get her clothes off while she was passed out?

2. “why are arabs so ugly”
I am ugly. Does everyone agree?

3. “why am i like this”
Who ever wrote this asked the internet why they are like that? And they are supposed to get a correct response? My only response, because you suck!

4. “i hate capricorns”
I hate you too.

5. “how do you know me”
No no. The question is, HOW do you know ME?

6. “arab girl making point”
Us making a point? Well, usually we try to by thinking first, then making that point.

7. “who arab girls think are pretty”
I think everyone is beautiful, because God made them beautiful!

8. “what is sunnah wedding dress”
Dress that doesn’t show your cleavage and your ass.

9. “italians are arabs”
Well, if we go back to history, Italians are of Roman descent. Romans conquered the middle east, then those Arabs went all over the place and everyone started mating like wild monkeys and the gene pool spread out. So Italians can be Arabs and Arabs can be Italians. It’s the whole spreading the love thing through out ancient times.

10. “arab girl with doctor in office”
*Chuckle* Who the fuck comes up with this shit?

11. “arab girl freend program com”
No freend program for you! FAIL!

12. “i know something you dont know”
I know everything you don’t want to know!

13. “i am not the typical arab girl that you think i am”
Oh yah, do tell, and email me and let’s “talk!” Me like you already dudette!!

14. “dance of arabian mohajabat”
Mohajabat (vieled women) dance? The Blasphemy!! Do they have a special dance?

15. “why am i scared of arab people”
Because we look like you, a HUMAN BEING!

16. “any one share bed with arab girl”
And Google was supposed to answer that for you?

17. “what age do arabic boys have to marry”
When mommy says so!

18. “is 30 very old to get married for an arab woman”
Yes, and since I am 29 now, next year hopefully, my life would be over and I will be ancient and I should DIE of humility!!

19. “how do arabs show affection of love”
Good question. I don’t know.

20. “gırl arab to marry ı need lots of pıcture to see”
Let me guess, arranged marriage?

21. “beauty standards for women arabic”
White. Super skinny. Small nose. Fake eye brows. And if she can afford it, fake boobs and a well shaped huge ass.

22. “why are arab girls so hot?”
I thought earlier someone said that Arabs are ugly. MAKE UP YOUR MIND PEOPLE! Jeez!

23. “who are aquarians not compatible with”
Capricorns. Ask me, I KNOW!

24. “should a girl poke a guy on facebook”
LOOL! You are kidden me right? Poke him! Poke the hell out of him till he virtually does it back!

25. “why do we follow our heart”
It helps if you do, or you would be labeled as heartless. DUH!

26. “how do muslim girls have fair skin”
They are born with it, they don’t make it! Jeez! We are all different!

27. “im arab and people keep staring at me”
Maybe they are checking you out. Take the compliment!

28. “arabic girls want immgration”
Damn right they do! And to this side of the world, and they will marry any loser from here, even if he is a drunken Arab fool with the worse rep in town!

29. “why do arabs like dark skin girls?”
I thought they liked fair skin girl? Oh man.. make up your minds people! I am confused!

30. “arabs get engaged quickly”
Yep.. purely ridiculous; hence, people’s constant question, “do Arabs actually love?”

31. “why does arabic girls hav dark eyebrows”
Maybe because 98% of Arabs have dark hair… ???

32. “arranged marriage out of loneliness”
You mean arranged marriage was a result of loneliness.

33. “why arent there more arab people in my town”
Tell them to move there! Free Visa!! They will populate it so quickly!!!

One person last week told me that they would really appreciate a true friendship with me and only read my blog if it wasn’t hiding behind a pseudonym AND is more real.

Another person told me that I need to post more pictures of my self, because they can’t believe that I don’t look like a nerd. They need more proof.

A person emailed me once asking me why I don’t talk more about politics.

One girl asked me why I don’t discuss the real problems that Arab girls suffer daily from their families and culture.

This guy yesterday insulted me and told me that I am a horrible person hiding behind a wicked lying mask.

Lots of Arabs told me that I am the worst person to represent Arabs.

Lots of Arabs told me that because I live in the western world, that I am westernized and I should never talk about Arabs.

Religious fanatics told me that being rebellious is a sin.

Many people write me telling me that I am rebellious against religion, and I am spreading sinful thoughts and telling girls to not wear hijab.

Then Mais, the most avid reader of my blog and knows what I am really about, told me this, “… Youre very clever but you expect simple minded people to understand you?! Seriously, no wonder youre getting stressed!”

I Owe People My Thoughts

I feel like I owe the majority of people something, and that something being a closed minded opinion about everything. I will tell you guys something, I don’t go around advertising this blog daily on other blogs. I was really pushing it the first 1.5 years, but then I stopped. I don’t comment at all on any blog, which makes me a horrible social blogger, but I don’t want to advertise my self. (I do read some blogs, but only a handful.)

Do you guys understand my point? I don’t go after you to tell you to read what I write. I don’t go advertise it to drive traffic to my site. I don’t do anything. I secluded my self from the world; yet YOU search for me and read it. You subscribe to keep up. You care enough to find any way possible to read what I write, because you know deep down inside that there is something about me that grabs your attention and makes you think. You care enough about the words that I write here.

I don’t owe you anything and you don’t owe me anything. However, those people that think that I do have always made me wonder why.

Then I understood why…

One person who was extremely angry with something I have written the other day told me this, “I hate what you write most of the time, but you have to be careful, your website is popular and many people are getting affected by it.”

So am I supposed to feel guilty now?

Searching for a Common Thought

Early this evening, I decided to go search for various Arab blogs. I wanted to read what personal bloggers have been writing and see what I am missing. I couldn’t read beyond a paragraph in most blogs. Then I got frustrated and stopped reading any blog. Most of the blogs that I read were talking about some event that they have attended that was “fun.” Pictures of food from the best restaurant ever. Or they displayed pictures of their latest shopping endeavor or overly expensive gadgets that they have bought. Or some tried to talk about how their kids threw up on the carpet and they spent the afternoon cleaning.

Am I supposed to discuss that? Will that make me a better blogger?

Fine, how about this for a change:

I cooked today. I did my project management homework. I didn’t feel like cleaning anything, and oh, to top it off, I also went to the bathroom to empty out all that well digested food.

Shoot me now.

Oh, by the way, since you think that I owe you something every time you read my blog with such eagerness, how about you do the same and write something worth a damn on your blogs from now on, and think beyond your nostrils for a change!

Words of Wisdom

I never give them hell. I just tell the truth, and they think it is hell.
-Harry S. Truman

A few weeks ago, I watched the movie “Wedding Crashers.” It was pretty funny I might say, and it was really inspirational. I think I want to do that too once in a while. I just need someone to act out the part along side of me and I am set! But none of that promiscuous stuff!

I don’t know why I brought this up, but I guess it’s funny how people act sometimes, and leads me to think of something that is way out there! I wonder who’s wedding I want to crash first? Hmm!! I will start with small weddings in late April or even May! Right now I am busy, but I got to plan eh?

Anyways, I don’t know why sometimes I say I won’t do something again, but I end up being all nice and let things slide. As I thought about it some more, I think I do such things for a reason, and that reason being to see how far people will go to avoid telling the truth or mentioning anything slightly important.

I know I have been a total pigment of people’s imagination, and a person that people love to forget, but come on! I am still human. It’s nice for you to tell me some important things sometimes. Maybe I will even tell you congratulations. However, the longer you wait to tell me something, or avoid me completely like I am someone who is on the bottom of your list, then don’t expect me to be nice to you ever again, or even talk to you or bother. (I don’t want to really talk to you again, because I don’t know.. it dragged on too long now and I got tired of waiting to see if you will change your mind.) I may even wish you the worst of luck.

But I won’t do that.. I am not mean or envious. I just don’t give a crap about anyone anymore, because no one would do the same for me.

You are lucky I am nice, but I am way too smart and I know everything. It’s my motto in life; “know as many interesting things that you possibly can.” I don’t know though if some people are interesting at all, but sometimes God just tells me to get up in the middle of the night, and find out the truth without anyone’s help!

This is part three of the year end manifestation of the life of my blog.

My blog this year won so many awards, that I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count them! NOT!! (Didn’t I sound cheesy and dorky like the rest of the bloggers out there?) But yes, my blog won a lot of invisible mind boggling awards. I won people’s readerships. That’s the biggest award I can get as a blogger. I don’t care about best blog, or best writer, or best anything. Who cares? It’s like winning a virtual banner to advertise someone else’s bright idea that started the campaign.

Really, if the prize was money based, then people will be all over it! I would be so all over it!

So, I am gonna list the top blog posts this year by comments, my favorites, and ones that I should have never published, but found their way online cause of my insomnia or excessive amounts of coffee!

Top Blog Posts 2009 | Comments & Reactions

1. April 28, 2009 | It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a conspiracy theory!
2. June 7, 2009 | The Arab Blogorette
3. June 16, 2009 | I think it is time for change!
4. August 25, 2009 | Why are Muslims turning Atheists?
5. August 30, 2009 | Analysis: It is much harder to get rid of her
6. September 7, 2009 | Arabs marrying non-Arabs
7. September 18, 2009 | Window shopping for a bride
8. October 27, 2009 | Symbols of being different

Top Blog Posts 2009 | Monaism & Love

1. January 15, 2009 | Are good people always the victims of life?
2. March 31, 2009 | How accurate is this?
3. April 20, 2009 | Airports think I am a perv!
4. May 21, 2009 | A way to relieve stress
5. July 15, 2009 | Teaching a child the basics of the internet world
6. September 6, 2009 | No Comment
7. September 24, 2009 | I am sick and tired of looking for work!!! NO MORE!
8. December 4, 2009 | The typicals
9. December 26, 2009 | I am the master of my choices

Top Blog Pots 2009 | Those That Should Have Never Been

1. January 28, 2009 | The blogging world is run by monkeys
2. May 4, 2009 | I thought I held the title of taking things too seriously
3. June 20, 2009 | The media has been following me for over two decades
4. September 26, 2009 | I don’t like talking about sex in public

After 4 years of complaining and releasing all that built up anger on this blog, I discovered that it was all in my head. In reality, I am not like this. I swear to God, I am no where close to what I write on here. I write here the afterthoughts that resulted in anger from the life that I am living, and from the people I interact with every day.

In reality, I will ignore you. If you did something that I did not like, or I feel that things need to end so no one will get hurt, then I will just ignore you. That’s how I solve the problems, instead of being hated as a person for the things that I say. I hate hurting people, because people have hurted me enough in the past by the stupid things they did or said.

I don’t like talking to you about a deep personal problem. I don’t like to tell you there is a problem, because then people think I whine or complain too much. Hence, I made this blog instead. Why risk it in real life? This is just a blog.

I don’t like talking about people behind their backs, because honestly, I don’t gain anything that way. I don’t like to spread crap about people. That’s horrible and hurtful. I am not like that.

Why am I mentioning all this?

You see, I discovered all this lately, and if you have been reading my Twitters @rebelliousgirl and blog, then you would have noticed my utter dissatisfaction with some people. I then realized why so many people over the past 4 years kept telling me, “You are not rebellious.” I agree, I am not rebellious in the sense that you are thinking. I am rebellious in speaking out about problems and ideas that affect a generation of people. That’s why I kept up the name Rebellious.

However, in real life, I am too quiet, super nice, very respectful to others, and a child at heart. That’s really me, and that’s why I get treated like I am nothing. It’s ok, one day, and I repeatedly keep telling my self this, one day I will show them. I will show the entire world that I am just a cub that has not fully grown yet to be a lion. It’s funny saying that at my age, but really, it takes time to reach your real goals.

I kept mentioning this to everyone: that if you try to be something big so fast, you will fall. You will fall faster than the way you went up. When I see you down there, I will just look at you and not say a thing.

Intelligence

I will tell you how many stupid, ignorant, and bull headed people I met in my life. Ok, fine. Let’s reverse that, and I will tell you how many smart people I met in my life. Two or three only. I am not joking. I am talking here about intelligence. Are you smart? Do you think for yourself? Are you willing to go that extra mile to know something instead of wasting someone else’s time by asking them constantly? Do you know what’s going on in the world? Do you know what’s going on outside of your community, outside of your city, outside of your country? Do you know anything?

And when you can’t find the answer, or you don’t bother to understand or cope with the problem, you put all your anger on someone else. It’s easier that way. Isn’t it?

Amusingly, intelligent people hire those fools. They are called followers, and do a good job at:

1. Bitching.
2. Thinking they are all that.
3. Getting frustrated easily and getting extremely angry.
4. Having a horrible family life, most are divorced, and can’t contain their own children, which leads to point 5.
5. Not being able to distinguish where they are at. That being on a job or still at home trying to contain those children.
6. Staying in one spot all their life. They don’t progress at all in life.

Don’t think I am being mean here. I am not. I will tell you this honestly. My problem is that I am far too intelligent. My intelligence lead me to be patient, understanding, argumentative, and not be easily convinced. I think too much. Intelligent people don’t stop thinking. They wonder, discover, and try to understand. Many people are not like this. I was surprised.  People are afraid to get out of their comfort zone. They are scared shitless and get angry when they don’t understand. When you try to explain, they get more angry and think you are speaking above them.

How did they manage to survive in such a world? Or are they intelligently capable of being just a follower? Are those the people that have and keep jobs? I think so. Because honestly, based on my hopes and dreams for the future, those people will make my life a lot easier. Jesus Christ! I never seen such foolish people. They are good at one thing, sort of, but that’s enough for me! Shit if I cared if they know or can do anything else. That’s my job, and I will progress in life. They won’t, and they will never get in my way, ever!

Being a very patient person really comes from your exceptional intelligence. Remember that!

I will make this post really simple to comprehend by giving you a real world example. Sounds simple eh?

Warning: this post gets vulgar in the end. Like it matters. This site was rated NC-17 since day one!

Here is the hypothetical scenario peoples. You one day out of the blue, out of utter boredom, decide to go on your computer and type on the browser, (you know what browser is right? It’s that blue icon with a huge ass E that breaks a lot and fills your computer with viruses. Yep, that one), in the little box that indicates that you can search for anything, you type the following phrase, “Arab girl.” It is really nothing special. Maybe it is to you, but really, it is not. There is like millions of us. We come in all shapes and colours. We come from all religions. Watch out! We may even live in a neighborhood near you. However, we are not all the same! Do you understand?

As you clicked on that magical button that says search, you get this peculiar website coming up first in your search results. Dammit, who the hell owns this site? Rebellious? Definitely porn related, or something hot and sexy. Meow! CLICK CLICK CLICK!

Unfortunately, and I really mean it, UNFORTUNATELY, you ended up on some wacko Arab girl’s website living Canada. Jeez Louis! It’s that girl from Canada that happens to be Arab.

50% of the real world scenarios, a person would just click on the back button, and go search for something way more interesting. Arab girl? Not very much. Batman is way cooler! (Trust me on this one, search Batman!)

Anyways, the other 50% that actually clicked on this blog have decided to check it out. Oh, Rebellious? Oh, Arab? Oh, GIRL? You got to be kidden me? I don’t even believe it my self. Who the hell calls themselves Rebellious Arab Girl. What an idiotic thing to do!

……. few thousands of dollars later. (Cha ching!)

So, you clicked, you saw, you read. That’s the real actions you did.

You read, and you think you enjoyed it. Oh, this girl actually tells the truth. Oh my God! She is spilling the beans. Oh my God! She is telling it like it is!

I like her, or NOT!

Days pass, weeks pass, and every day you inevitably read this girl’s blog. Very addictive read. You really like it. Then one day, she writes something you did not like, or you thought it was worth giving your own take on the matter. Fair enough. It’s an open forum for various debates, but with one ruler.

Unfortunately, that girl, who you have been reading her blog for so long, and her way of thinking should have sunk into your little head by now, refused to agree with you. She said, “No!” She had every reason to say no. You also had every reason to say no. So why did you say no, and she cannot say no back? Because it was YOU?

Hell broke loose…

Now I will try to dumb it down, and speak Urbanized English, so you will actually understand the rest of this:

You came on my territorial ground, you gave me an opinion that really was not worth it for me to answer or even argue back, and then you want me to agree no matter what or else? Then you get pissed off so much that you cannot stand that a girl that you will never meet or even see in your life (who happens to look not too shabby for a girl,) actually said NO to you! So, you take out your tiny weapon that you love sticking out all the time to show how tough you are, and splash it all over her site, and think she will definitely agree with you that way? It’s like telling her, “Yo bitch! Agree with me or else I will trash this site and leave a huge stink bomb for every one to smell see. That’s how us tough people do it. We use force because we ain’t one of those people that are good with words. Trash this mother fucker!”

My Real Answer

I ain’t no one’s bitch, Bitch!

P.S. Why do you even bother to argue with this ONE girl that obviously argues for pleasure? I should have been a lawyer.