Life is stringing me along day by day and it has not been merciful. Either I try to fight for what I believe in, or die with shame for not trying.

This is part 1 of the series of Mona’s Discontents:

I have a strange mentality, but there is no point of me trying to change it, so I try to embrace its eccentricity. When I was a child, I never followed anyone. My parents didn’t even have to warn me about peer pressure or who I should not talk to. They knew well enough from my strong personality that I do not like walking behind anyone, doing something that everyone else is doing, or following someone else’s lead.  Over time, my personality has formed and lead me to be very patient, a good listener, and have the ability to make my own choices after I carefully studied them.

Therefore, I do not like people who live their lives following others. I cannot comprehend or even try to understand why they accept to live such a life. These people lack inner pride, they cannot make a decision without consulting someone else, and are in dying need for someone to boss them around. I do not understand why, and no way on earth can I live my life like that. How people can wake up every day to live life this way? I have no clue.

Why am I mentioning all this now? You see, I have met many two faced people in my life, and those two faced people are the ones that grab those suckers and make them their followers forever. Let’s say I want to hire someone now, who do I look for? Do I look for someone I knew in the past that I want to keep controlling forever because I am in a higher position now to do so,  or should I look for someone new and different that needs a chance in this world, or should I do hit two birds with one stone and teach the weak to stand up and make a change in their life and hire the new for a change of meeting new people in my life? I do not want to play it safe, because I love to take risks and have faith in other human beings.

Another example, there are many people that complain so much about their work or politics or government but they do nothing about it. Why is it so hard for someone to get off their ass and start doing something? Even if it is something so tiny and maybe not that magnificent, but it is a tiny spec of new hope and change. Blow up like me people! Complain! Say something! I did and look where I am this week? No one dares say a word to me now and I like it. I take charge because I am confident enough to do it, and my life is not worth being someone’s follower.

You may think I am far from arrogant.  However, I am discontent with the world around me, and I have higher expectations of myself and other human beings. This is the real me: patient, full of perseverance, and wants to lead and not follow.

Enough ranting for tonight. My eyes are aching, the heat is blazing, and I am tired of drinking over 4 cups a day of coffee.

Advice, Angry, Blah Blah, Idiots, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, Sleepy Post, Whatever!

This is the second part of yesterday’s post.. or in other words, today’s latest events. Ok, so this is what happened today! I went to work early, like always. So one of the guys came in soon after me and discussed what happened in yesterday’s meeting. I told him other things that have been going on and he told me, “Don’t worry about it. Just learn to say no.”

About 15 minutes later, I had to step out. I came back within 10 minutes, and the moment I got off the elevator, I could hear a loud women’s voice arguing. You must know, that the office suite is one of three on that floor. If I could hear her right off the elevator, then anyone else can.

I heard the raging voice, and I quickly ran down the hall way to another quicker access door to where my desk is. (The bosses are not there from today and all of next week). Then I told the other programmer, she is at the front angry and won’t stop complaining. He said, “Why?” I told him, “Don’t you remember yesterday?” (He doesn’t care at all really.)

I sat quietly on my desk working with my headphone on and groovy Mona music. Few minutes later, she raged down the hall with a frantic voice and said, “Good morning! This is the new tech support lady!”

When I heard that, I refused to answer back or even bother with her. She scares the hell out of me. I don’t understand her problem. She works in a small company that is quickly turning its focus to software only, and she is supposedly managing the customers. Why does she complain? She doesn’t even have to do anything technical at all. The work has been delegated equally to everyone that has the knowledge and experience to do it. Her job is to take off the load from me when people ask me stupid questions about how to find this in the software or do you have this yet? She does not understand that, and she thinks she is doing the “technical” part now.

She refused to talk to me most of the day, like I did something horrible to her. I didn’t do shit. All I know I was hired for one very important thing that is pretty much keeping the place alive and keeping her job. She just wanted to take advantage of me because I am nice and responsive. Now her scapegoat (me) is no longer available!

Technical to me means something totally different. To me technical is understanding technology and how it works. To me technical is solving complicated technical problems from years of experience and practice. To me technical is trying to figure out bugs, and quickly solving them in order for someone else to continue on using the technical product. That’s it!

You see, this is life. The majority of people who have a job are incompetent fools. Or they are people who only know how to do one thing, and do not ever want to learn or refuse to learn anything new. They are stationary in their fields, and to them change is a big stumbling block to their life! They hate it. They don’t want to do it, and they argue any way they can to not have to do it.

Unfortunately, if you are not ready for what will happen next week, then yesterday seems like last year in this rapidly moving world.

Blah Blah, Categorize this!, Idiots, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!

I don’t care about nasty emails or nasty comments. I am immune to them and I don’t care who wrote them. I placed a big bold message on my contact page a long time ago that says that if you insult me, then I will publicly display it. If you posted the wrong email address, then you have wasted my time. Can you imagine if someone did both? It is like a hit and run situation thinking that they will never get caught.

A lot of people think outside of the box, which is great, and they pointed out different possibilities from the previous post. That is fine, except you guys missed the bigger picture. I do not purposely provoke people to reach this level of personal insults. I don’t do it to get attention. Some said that I don’t deserve it. Most people judge me from one post, and I got used to it. People cannot accept the difference, and I am very different.

You guys think I just get nasty emails or horrible comments? Think again. Many websites and forums discuss my “teenage immature writing style” by emphasizing the very old posts that caused and still causing a commotion. I just write this way. I don’t think hard and try to come up with sophisticated attention grabbing posts. That is never my intention when I write. I just write what is on my mind, and my mind is an infinite sized mass of ideas.

Let’s think outside the box for a bit and discuss an important issue. You see, many people think when I write about Canada, that I hate being an Arab and forgot my roots. If I write about being an Arab and loving it, then people think I don’t appreciate the land that I live in now with the “better” life, and I have to thank God because many people back home don’t have food and water. There is no happy medium. No one is ever satisfied with my way of thinking or living.

I discussed a very important subject with my mother yesterday. I asked her, “Why are Arabs back home in the Arab world have serious dislike to Arabs living here?” She said, “They are just jealous and resentful of the Arabs here. The moment they get a Visa or are accepted for immigration, they will leave everything behind such as: family, friends, and loved ones without hesitating to look back. It’s the land of opportunity and it is worth it! Some of us wish to go back home and live there, but we were kicked out and told to leave our homes. It’s not like we had a choice to be here. We are lucky someone accepted us to live a peaceful life with human rights.”

While I was snooping the internet searching for the essence of my Rebellious name online, all I found was mostly negative feedback from Arabs back home toward me. They hate my site. They call me names. They ridicule me and make an instant judgment that I live in USA and that’s why my thought process is like “this.” Not like there is no other Westernized country in the world that speaks English other than USA. No no.. Auto-Arab-Judgment. Speaks fluent English: USA. Has absurd but truthful ideas: westernized Arab in USA. Totally unashamed to speak the truth: totally USA.

I learned to accept the difference and move on, why didn’t you?

Blah Blah, Culture, Idiots, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!

I just woke up and checked my lovely emails, and one was so straight forward and to the point, that I had to post it on my blog.

Actually, I have to post it because I tried to reply to this person, but it seems they misspelled their email or something.

Your Name: zaher
Email: lacoperon@fastpost.net
Website: http://
Message:
I am an Arab, and I think that you are a brainwashed and superficial lady, with no dignity or honor. You are a disgrace to your people and culture. Please go to Hell soon.

He asked me nicely to go to Hell soon. He said Please! All I wanted to reply saying, “See you there soon too!”

Culture, Idiots, They said what?, Whatever!

Isn’t it funny that a person would admit that there is something wrong with them?

Would you admit to the world if something is wrong with you?

The Disruptive Sleeping Patterns

So here it goes. I am a mentally disturbed person, and it is getting worse daily with my lack of sleep. I sleep for about 4 hours a day now. Why? I have no clue. I just wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep.

Yesterday night, I woke up at 2 am and I tried to close my eyes again and doze off, then I had a weird feeling that someone is shoving me and I woke up again! I know, I am mentally disturbed. The problem is that I go to work half asleep and the high dosage of caffeine is not helping.

Bitter Thoughts Resulted from People

Isn’t it funny that people spend 100′s of dollars on clothes and purses just to show off? Yet, they were cheap asses and horrible money managers and always ask you for money for gas or food? I wonder how they would feel if someone suggested for them to donate their money to I don’t know, some organization to help children and dying people in Palestine for example.

I am Not a People Person

I don’t like people. Simple as that. But you have to realize that people are the cause of my mentally disturbed thought process. Look at me! Do I write normal? Do I speak normal? Am I typical?

Emailing Back

For those people subscribed to my blog through email must realize that you CANNOT reply back me through those emails. The return sender on those emails are noreply@rebelliousarabgirl.net. I will not answer you back if you reply to them. Come to my site and comment, or send me a question through my contact page. It’s unbelievable the number of people that have replied in the former method and bitch at me for not replying back to them.

Enough ranting for today. Time to make some coffee.

Blah Blah, Depressed, Idiots, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!