Oh yah, it’s one of those job hunting posts again. Don’t worry, this maybe my last one. And no, I did not find work. And yes, I stopped looking for work. You want to know why?

[source]

Well, back in the day, I thought that maybe with my years of experience I would start looking for a more advanced position. Maybe someone out there will respect that fact. However, that didn’t work at all. Understandable, because I spent over 6 years doing nothing that is worth it to companies out there who need real programmers, and real IT experience. Sucks to be me. I know. However, it is more embarrassing when I don’t have the guts to lie or make up some crap of great things that I have done in the past. You try sitting in an interview and try to discuss pretty much nothing worth discussing.

Then, I decided to look for jobs that are beneath me, and ended up wanting to commit suicide that I even went to such interviews.

Last, which is the turning point of my entire life and realization that looking for work is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Impossible or just pure damn luck. You got the eyes to look for that needle. You got the patience to look for that needle. You got everything you can possibly need to look for that needle. But can you find it? Which is my life right now.

About 3 weeks ago, I went to one of the final interviews that I wanted to sit through. The job was an exact replica of the previous job that I had. It was in the same location almost of the same job that I had. It was the same environment as the same job I had. It was a job that I said to my self, “if I don’t get this, then I doubt I will get any other job, and I will stop trying.”

Now, 3 weeks later, I am hoping to God that they didn’t bother to call or email me because they didn’t have enough of an excuse valid enough to not want me. Or maybe I missed a call? Or an email was accidentally been filtered to garbage? You know, the odds are more likely that that would happen than someone saying, “you got all the skills, you did the same exact job for 6 years, but … ??”

For the past week, companies email or call, and before I answer them, I look back at the stupid job posting first. Because I am like any other frustrated person, I apply to almost everything, hoping that someone will bother to look at my resume. However, what I have been doing is emailing back saying, “if you read my resume, I have 6 years of experience, the salary is ridiculous and almost minimum wage. You are emphasizing you want a main skill that I do not have, but MAYBE will consider this and that skill. So why are you bothering wasting my time?” Yes, I am rude, and I have been rude to them. They deserve it because they are not only wasting my time, but they waste everyone’s time by doing this. I AM NOT A TOY you can play with! And yes, I am a girl and can fucking program. Is that hard to believe? I swear to God, if this has been all about gender, then I am quitting computers. I might go back to school and study psychology or sociology and get a PhD in them, and do what I do best, analyze people’s horrible personalities and messed up thoughts!

You can tell I am frustrated. You can tell I am about to shoot my self. You can tell I want to curse the day that I bothered to go into this shitty career path. You can tell I want to curse the day that I thought that maybe someone will hire me because I actually know what I am doing, and I got the exact skills they need. No more. No less.

However, and I emphasize, HOWEVER, it is all luck. Someone the other day on my blog told me that finding a job now a days is just luck. Pure and simple luck. Do I believe in luck? I never used to. I never one day thought that I have lived my life so far, and went through so many wild and crazy times because it was just luck. I believed that I built my own path. I chose and walked that path. It was not luck.

Unfortunately, the tides have turned, my thought process have been skewed, and I believe that maybe all along it was all luck. Maybe I have to wait for my luck. It’s like waiting to see if I will win the lottery. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t.

So why did I give up then if I think it is all luck? Well, because I got tired of dressing up. I got tired of playing the part of a perfect candidate. I got tired of repeating the same old stories of what I used to do, and pretend I was awesome and did great valuable things like no other. I just got tired, and I lost all that fire and energy inside me to go through it anymore.

I honestly don’t know what to do with my life. Financially, I am secure. My money in stocks, saving bonds, accumulating monthly interests, and my blog is earning me money to go buy a new shirt or two every month.

I am just missing that person or people that tell me every now and then that I am doing a good job. For someone to praise me for giving it my all. Maybe I just miss being useful and doing something. I just miss having something to do other than this and watching TV. However, the only reason I am totally not crazy right now, and not 100% at the edge, is due to the fact that I think there is more to life than this. I still didn’t find it. I still don’t know what it is. And I don’t think it is time for it yet. I just have to wait, wait, wait, and wait.

Angry, Blah Blah, Confused, Depressed, Idiots, Ranting as usual!

Hi, my name is Mona, and you can find me online with various nicknames and personalities. And yes, my real name is Mona, but everywhere else, other than my site, I carry very different Arabic or non-Arabic names. Why you may ask? Well, because if I want to use the net for fun, I have to play the part. I can’t be Mona everywhere. And no, you do not need to know my names online. And no, I am not that crazy Arabic girl who won’t stop blabbering about some overly good looking guy in a TV show.

Yah.. ? Are you puzzled of who I really am now? No, this site is me, but every where else I am some crazy chick looking for trouble.

Anyways, I was in an Arabic chat room earlier today, and somehow this girl decided to pick on me. No one warned her that that was a very bad move on her part. I mean, all of you know better, but she didn’t know any better. Somehow the topic changed to some guy, and she kept insisting that she knows when a guy loves a girl, and it is NOT an act. (The conversation was in Arabic, not English.)

Hmm, ok I thought? Then she kept wanting to know my age and if I was really a girl. I refused to say at first, and then she said, “CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION!?” I said, “No. I know what you are going to ask. Leave me alone.” She then went on anyways and asked, “Can I ask if you ever liked someone?!” I said, “Why? Does it matter?” She said, “Yes it does matter, because I have something to say to you.”

In the back of my head, I wanted to become little bytes of information, and be transferred to her side of the world and throw some stones at her. I told her, “No. I am not going to say anything, and end your questions, because I am not going to answer you anymore.” She didn’t speak for about 2 minutes, and I was like phew… she wasn’t a stubborn little know it all! Then, out of no where she writes in BIG LETTERS: “I KNOW WHEN A GUY LIKES A GIRL. LIKE REALLY IN LOVE WITH HER! HE WOULD LOOK AT HER ALL THE TIME IN THE EYES! THAT’S WHEN YOU KNOW THAT A GUY REALLY LOVES YOU!”

You all know me well enough to picture my physical reaction when I was sitting on the computer, and reading that from some 20 something year old Arabic girl from the other side of the world. Yep, I fell on the ground laughing. I never laughed so hard and I was going to burst from the closed minded, immature, kid like response that I read.

I couldn’t even answer her, and just ignored her. I couldn’t stop laughing. If a guy looks you in the eye, it means he loves you? Damn. No one told me that! Now that’s the best pick up action ever! Oh crap, I look people in the eye all the time. But it means I am not lying, and actually respect the person I am talking to. But it doesn’t work that way in the ARAB WORLD! It’s A PICK UP LINE! HA HA HA HA HA HA x infinite and beyond!

Oh God, I made my self laugh again. I need to stop looking guys in the eye. I don’t know what they will think of me. Maybe I am hitting on them. LOL

Blah Blah, Culture, Funny, Happy, Idiots, They said what?, Whatever!

A person few minutes ago typed in Google: “Is it Haram to hug your mother?” And they ended up on my site. My answer to this person, well, you only came out of her you know what. So it is WRONG to hug her. You are right!

The ridiculous key search phrases that people write in Google or any search engine and up here is quite fascinating. Obviously I got the 100’s of sex related terms, but those are normal. I got used to seeing them. However, some are just plain strange and need answering.

1. “pakistani slutty girls”
I thought this was an Arab site?

2. “is it haram to like a girl”
It would be funny if a girl searched for that.

3. “is looking at girls haram?”
Hmm, don’t look then!

4. “you make no sense mean?”
It means that you make no sense.

5. “arabs who dont like to take their wives out”
Divorce them please!

6. “why do guys believe rumors about girls?”
Why do girls believe rumors about guys?

7. “arabs dont wear green”
Only black? I hear ya! We are always mourning. ???

8. “fair skin arab more beautiful”
I suggest you go marry a white girl.

9. “can i lose weight eating burgers”
No.

10. “i am in need to get married with you”
Maybe you need to find someone who cares!

11. “i want to chat with an arabic 14 years old girl”
Why?

12. “how to marry a lebanese girl”
Is it a hard task to marry a Lebanese girl? Need some guidance?

13. “arab teens erotic stories”
I am not a teen, so I got none to share with you!

14. “why are women so stupid to love”
Go find a man then. Jeez.

15. “i make more money than my brother”
Does any one honestly care?

16. “jobs for rebellious people”
I ask my self that question every day!

17. “skills that most people dont have”
Living and breathing under the sea!

18. “why people dont agree with killing or war”
If you agree, STAY AWAY FROM CANADA!

19. “arabic people being ashamed of their religion”
The Arab speaking world constitutes 3 main monotheistic religions. Which one are you looking for?

20. “why the fuck i am not getting programming job”
Fuck! I DON’T KNOW!

21. “every day i wake up i feel like cryin”
You need help! Go to a psychologist.

22. “what if the world slept in the day and woke in the night?”
They will turn into bats and no longer be able to stand any light. It’s like the movie Pitch Black!

23. “is internet boyfriend and girlfriend haram”
Virtual love. Yes haram. Stop doing it children!

24. “getting married because of rebellion”
Really? I am having the opposite problem.

25. “is it haraam to get married just for sex”
What do you think? Or you don’t think?

26. “how can i find a job if i dont have a high school diploma”
Hmm.. puzzling question. I wonder what the answer is?

27. “should i make a fake account and talk to this girl i like”
No.

28. “parents should choose the girl for their son arab”
What year do you live in?

29. “use of internet is haram for men”
MEN STOP USING THE INTERNET!

30. “what is the name for people who think too much”
REBELLIOUS!

There are more, but I got tired of going through a long never ending list.

Culture, Funny, Idiots, Religion, They said what?, Whatever!

People who invite me to Events on Facebook that don’t even know me in person.

Here are my questions to those event inviters:

1. Why do you invite me to an event that is not in my city?
2. Why do you invite me to an event that is not in my country?
3. Why do you invite me to an event that involves alcohol and …?
4. How does bulk inviting everyone going to make those sensitive people feel? They are just a check all person. Tsk tsk. Be considerate to them!
5. You know the event that you invited me to is really lame, and you your self is not going, right?

Lame butts.

Angry, Blah Blah, Idiots, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Visitor Taking Over, Whatever!

Hmm, excuse my language. But finally, finally I am reading people’s questions. However, I noticed the same old questions over and over. So I will post some questions, and provide a simple to the point answer.

1. Capricorns are all the same. They act like they don’t have a religion and that’s how I found your blog.

So, for those people that are reformed from all religions, and want to find a soul mate, search for females between the ages of 0 – 120 that are born December 22 – January 21. I am sure they share the same view as you.

2. Im not gonna lie, i read what u put before we send u a message. i stopped by this page and saw ur picture and i farreal think i can make u mona! Get it? make u moan-a. HAHHAHAH woooooooo. Im rebelious arab Boy, holla wallah!!!!!!!!!!!

Lame.

3. why do you call yourself rebellious girl? do you not love arab anymore?

For the three millionth times, if I don’t love Arabs, why the hell do I have the word Rebellious ARAB Girl in the title?

4. I would like to know where I may find and/or download a few debka songs. I have tried vigirously with no luck. Please and Thank you

It seems that I am a search engine for Arabic music. My answer is, ask an Arabic music site!

5. Thank you for your effort spreading the word to the world to know about the truth.

You mean, the hard honest truth that makes people cringe from disgust? I get paid by an unknown organization to spread the truth! Millions I tell ya! Millions!

6. add me to your messenger so that i can learn more about palestine from u.

Is that all you want to learn from me? I suggest you pick up an encyclopedia that is labeled with the letter P. Do you know what an encyclopedia is? Or you need help with that too?

7. hi, I want to marriage with a palestinian girls,; can you help me? thank you.

Ask your mother. Or aunt. Or your current mother-in-law.

8. Some one gave this website to my friend and told him to give it to me, so i can add here. I dont know if that was you ore not. Do you live in college station Texas??

Hmm. You were able to send me a question through my site, but you failed to read on the top sidebar of my site that I live in London, Ontario, Canada. Which happens to be a totally different country. Can I make an ASS-umption and call you an ignorant blind fool?

9. How r u,who can i meet u

Who? Or where? You lost me there. I suggest you learn English first. I don’t like FOBS emailing me.

10. mona
i think u need to make up your mind. i cannot get self hating arabs. everything you said could apply to any ethnic group -have ever sat down with a group of jewish mothers? every culture has its positives and negatives but ours has the advantage of being diverse because of its history.
abuse? america has the highest statistics against women. tolerance-hmmmm segregation is still remembered by some. the west is not all it is cracked up to be. rebel against those who want to erase your palestinian heritage.

So I am not allowed to rebel against Arab nations that refused to give me rights as an Arab, but kept calling me a foreigner? And I cannot rebel against a group of people that refuse change, and keep segregating them selves from the rest of the world? I need to reevaluate my mission in life. My God, I know nothing about Arabs. Ps. I don’t live in America. Ok?

11. Mona, I recently stumbled upon your site and I just wanted to compliment you on all you do. I also became a friend on facebook and thoroughly enjoy reading all of your postings. They are all very well put and full of insight. Many times, these sites become a type of personal opinions, however you actually back up what you mention with facts. Again, keep up the good work.

I mention things with facts? (Looking back at old posts.. … … …) What facts? It is purely personal opinions. That’s what makes me so darn special.

12. ummm y the fuck r u in london the most racist ppl in the world live there if u havent noticed u cant even wear a scarf there sooooo wat the fuck r u thinking please answer back

Which London are you talking about? The one in Canada where I live or UK? Last that I have known, both cities have a large population of A-Rabs, Mozlems, multitude of international ethnic groups and my God, many wear a scarf or turban. Plus, what was I thinking living here? You are right. I got to leave. People here are not allowed freedom to wear a scarf, but they can shave their heads, tattoo their faces, and pierce their butts!

13. i also live in london ,if u want to build friendship ,email me

Your IP address tells me that you live in UK. Wrong country. Learn to read about me first before you email me within 30 seconds of you arriving on my site and seeing my picture.

14. Im syrian leving in england, I just wont to say you make a veray intresting arabec women with lots of issue on your mined to discuss this is complement to your way of thinking ,I came cruse yure site by funny coensidant.best regared

Once you learn to write English properly, and since England is the birth of the language, then email me back and tell me why you want to talk to a person that lives across the ocean? Are you lonely? Want a virtual hug? Porn is not satisfying enough and you want a nice Arab girl that knows nothing about your filthy history?

15. i just now yor sit and send for you .

Again. Fob.

16. Hey Mona,

Do you have a favorite quote or maybe more than 1 which you could send me in English, Arabic writing and Arabic (hm hm hm , how do you call that) Arabic-English writing ?

Hmm, Ana ma ba3rif aktob 3araby bas a7ky 3araby. Immy da2eman bet2olly, “Law el jamal shaf 7ordabtoh, we2e3 wa kasar ra2ebtoh!” Hahaha.. Lame. I know.

17. As a fellow Palestinian, with western background, and who is a freelance PHP/Actionscript Expert.. I am angry I didn’t find this blog before…

Good luck with all you do.

I say my friend, put that anger towards something more constructive and creative. Like building a tower, or swimming across the ocean with your speedos. What I learned in life, anger helps in creativity. The angrier, the better.

18. Hello. What religion are you?

If I told you, will I get a cookie?

That’s enough for this edition of answering questions that I received via this site. I got many Facebook PMs that I will post later for fun. Ta ta!

Blah Blah, Confused, Culture, Funny, Idiots, Religion, Thank you, They said what?, Whatever!