How many people were there
Waiting on the side walk waiting for one another
And it was raining
And they were holding umbrellas for one another
And days were it wasn’t raining
No one even waited for me

I have been waiting here for a million years
Standing in this store
The walls got tired of me
From the morning they say
My eyes are staring at the beauty
And the beauty was just walking in the streets
I sing him many songs
And he was just too busy
I waited every earthly time possible
And no one waited for me

People
And they all held the umbrellas
And no one waited for me

It has been a million years
I have been making up addresses
To no one in particular
I send them news
I don’t want the skies tomorrow to rain again at my door
Umbrellas and lovers
Staring at them all day
And those who remembered everyone else
In the end they remembered me

_________
Fairuz
Qaddish Kan Fi Nas

My taste of Music

One thing I can’t stand in life is being tied down to anything. I want a level of freedom where I can make my own choices and I finalize my decisions and no one else can stop me. I hate also hanging at the end of the rope and not knowing if I am going to fall or climb back up. The worst feeling on this earth is being unstable and tied to this instability. I wish I could just be free and not have to worry about anything. I tried so hard the past few weeks to just hide my feelings, forget my current situation and think positive. It works for a day or two and unconditionally starts again.

My anger level has reached maximum. I cannot stand being me right now. I don’t think anyone wants to be in my situation. I have numerous times to tell my brain to shut up. Like today, who in the world sleeps at work? **raising my hand depressingly!** I can’t even look at the computer screen anymore or think to do anything productive. My level of enthusiasm to learn new things or even do anything productive has decreased so much. I feel like I am suffering from a fatal illness and I am going to die soon. I feel like who cares what I do or accomplish or learn anymore, no use. No one will care or remember me by anything I have ever accomplished in my life. I have to be useful and do something. I am just suffocating this way. No one understands how much I hate being useless. I have spent my entire life trying to accomplish something on a daily basis. Either school, clubs, or work. Now, I just don’t know what to do.

I am just going insane. I am really suffering from depression and hateful of my life. I want to do something and be something. That’s my problem. It’s my Capricorn curse! I hate being who I am sometimes because I can never control my actions at all. I can’t control anything. It drives me insane.

Enough of my rants.

So I spent all evening trying to read up on blog advertisement and joined many blog networks to promote my blog. I just got tired of having almost one particular group of audience that visit me from Arab aggregates. I don’t talk much about Arab issues and I want to communicate with so many people out there.

Also in the new year, if I didn’t go completely insane by then, I will change the blog template. Until then, I will have to figure out a new template to create from scratch. Although I love this template because I spent 3 days making it and testing it, but I got to change. Change is always good.

What else am I thinking? Hmm. I don’t know. I lost my level of concentration and thought. My brain is always in different directions and I can never focus. I don’t even know what focus is! So sad. I know. I don’t remember the last time I focused on anything. I think once I tried and I ended up with a really bad migraine. I don’t want to focus again.

End note.. this is one of my favorite songs I have ever heard in my life. So amazing. I always love listening to it. The words are amazing and make my heart melt.. lool

Blah Blah, My taste of Music, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!

I am very bored of my life and I just feel like listening to good music from great artists. The second song’s amazing. I love the words.

My taste of Music

My taste of Music

I will talk about it later.. but I wanted to start a new beginning with a cheesy but fun song from the 80′s! I am so old school! I should post a Madonna song too! I am just so EXCITED for something that hasn’t even happened yet, but I need a confidence booster and HIGH HIGH HOPES!!! EVERYONE SING WITH ME! LEARN TO EXPRESS YOUR SELF JUST LIKE ME!!!

Funny, My taste of Music