This week was crazy. I feel like I finally have a little freedom. Something to do and enjoy after work. Just relax, kick back. Do my own thing. But, when you have a little 11 year old sister, all she does is literally attach her self to me. I always scream at her and say: “what you want. What you want!” I love the little munchkin. She is the most adorable thing on earth. She drives me crazy, she drives me out of my mind at times. But screaming at her relieves so much stress. The problem with having a sister that young is her mentality is not. She replies back. She screams at me. When she gets mad she will smack me down and want to kill me. I laugh, after I cry of course from the pain. My sister is a sporty freak. She got legs and muscles of steal. I am hoping she will end up being super sporty and joining teams. She got so much fire and energy in her that needs to be lit out.

I love her to death! But why do I? Well why wouldn’t I! She looks 99% like me. She always sticks to me and talks to me and wants me to hear all the stories. If I cough a lot and look like I am choking she will start crying and saying.. “oh no don’t die! You are my only sister!!” When she says that I friggen stop coughing from shock! lol

Not only that, I don’t listen to music of watch TV much. I barely had time this year. But she seems to know it all. I know all the news, about everything in the TV and music world from her. I don’t have to search or bother. I will ask her! Makes my life easier!

In conclusion, I love the little kid. Not only cause she is my sister, but for her being such a cutie little person!

Random Thoughts

Something is weird in the blog world that maybe people out there who don’t blog may not know. Has any blogger felt like someone so close to them is reading what they are writing and actually seeing them in a different eye? For example, someone you know doesn’t know anything about your blog, or maybe does, but showed little interest in reading it. So you blog away not caring because in reality, why would you care what anyone in the world thinks of your writing? Then suddenly, one day, out of no where, that person seem to know more about you and more about your thoughts. You sit there and wonder and tell your self, “do I have to change my writing tone, slow down a bit, and change the way I present my deep thoughts to the world?” Is that worth the effort to change?

I sit here struggling about this. I know many people that read my blog that maybe I thought would not care too much to. Or wouldn’t care to read it. Than out of no where seem to know the whole world around me. Than I have to sit there and try to remember if I ever told them anything. How do they know so much? Maybe I am not sure about this. I don’t know who reads my blog. They have to tell me. I am just speculating because I am not a very open person and I never remember what I say to people. Especially if I am intoxicated with sugar and having a bad day. I seem to say things out of the ordinary without thinking. It’s my halal wait of getting intoxicated! looool Isn’t that funny? I always wanted to make this clear. I maybe rebellious thinker, but I sure am healthy and I worry too much about my liver. But not my blood sugar. I am gonna die from diabetes! That’s what my mom always tells me!

Random Thoughts

I only got one good question from the post “Mona is Idle…”ÂÂ? Zahra asked me how I balance my life from work to school to blogging and to friends and family. Well I don’t know how I am doing it. Most people who work full time can’t even fathom the idea of taking classes and having a life. Some can’t handle it. Some do. For example me. Honestly, it is because I am in need to get busy. I worked one year full time after I was done school and I was bored out of my mind! I needed to go back to school because I needed to keep challenging my self. I need to keep my brain stimulated, and since I work at the University, I was able to do that. My employer is very nice and he loves schooling, and nothing wrong with getting more educamatated.. It’s always good.

Also with my field, computer science, you need to always keep your self updated. I think whomever chooses the career of computers has to keep him/self learning new things daily. It’s crazy tech world out there. I love it but need to keep my self up to date all the time, and that’s what I am doing. I love it. School sometimes really stresses me out, but I don’t care. In the end I know I amÂÂ? going to be a valuable tool to a company. My brain is filled with lots of tech info!

As for blogging.. If I can waste my time chatting on msn, than I rather write something. I am a very talkative chatter, and I want to keep my writing skills always up do date. I used to know this one girl and she was amazed by my simple one paragraph emails. She loved reading my style. She said I should be a writer. So I just decided to write. I have lots of thoughts, critiques and stuff to talk about life. My life has been crazy the past couple of years, and I felt like sharing. I know some people out there may have similar problems, and I appreciate when commenters to my blog actually share those experiences with me. I just want to write and share something that someone else out there can relate to. Not everyone out there is able to talk or tell someone how they really feel. And I think since I am doing that, than someone out there may appreciate it.

Random Thoughts

Sometimes I feel so lost in my own world. I am just unusually happy sometimes, and other times I am very depressed. Right now I don’t know why I am writing. I don’t know what to really talk about. I had this unusual recollection of the past that it is hurting me from the inside. I keep looking back at my life and I fully regret it. I am having real hard time adjusting or even changing. I want to, but I don’t know how. I lived my life setting one path. No other direction ever crossed my mind. When one path failed, the direction has been skewed to the unknown. I feel lost in my own world.

I was reading about palmistry the other day because it seems to be the new hype. However, I sometimes look at both my hands. The lines on one of my hands is completely different than the other. There are some similarities, but I really don’t know what’s the big fuss? My lines are all over, branched, oddly shaped. So why so many people claim they can tell the future from it?

I really don’t care. It’s like my obsession with reading horoscopes. I just find it amusing. I don’t believe in it, but I like to read character traits of people and see if this person’s zodiac is similar to his/her proclaimed character traits.

I just think sometimes that there will be no hope in me. I just feel like everything I have ever built up to has just fallen apart. The more I try to stand on my feet; the more I pull my self back. I lack confidence in my self. I killed all hope in my self. I try to keep my self busy. I try to keep a positive outlook to the future. But the more I try, I feel like everything around me is against me. I cannot work on anything or do anything without being judged and ridiculed. Why do people pick on me? It’s not like I try hard or try to do anything that is overly preposterous.

I have also become an overly critical person. I just can’t stand some people’s actions. I used to be this very shy person that never spoke. People thought I was a mute! Now I am this angry critical person. I do it to people’s faces! It’s shocking to my self. A lot of times I cannot control my anger cause people piss me off so much. I don’t know what to do.

Now I look back, I really do read all my blog posts from the past. I try to, just to see how much I changed. How my writing tone has differed over the months. It’s really strange reading what you have written from months or even years ago.

I wonder if I will be reading or writing in this blog 10 years from now?

Random Thoughts, Sleepy Post

From now till Friday I am super busy.. beyond busy.. and I will not be posting.. I am just taking a breather after eating my double cheese burger and onion rings. I am also gulbing down some watered fountain cola and killing my brain cells and getting high off candy for a few minutes. So I am checking emails, blogs, facebook, etc etc.. Aah I have such a busy life. Anyways, the purpose of this post is I am giving everyone the opportunity to ask me anything! I will post a reply Friday night of answers to everyone’s questions. You can ask me any questions except the following: no discussion of religion, politics, or my opinion about abortion! Who gives a crap. Ask me anything else! Ciao till Friday! I will have all the dirt by then to post! I suggest everyone who reads my blog to post a question. Even if you are not a frequent commentor and just a reader. I would like to see what you would ask based on reading my blog.

Blah Blah, Funny, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, Whatever!