I have started a poll a few days ago asking you guys if your life is missing something. So what is your first extinct? Mine was obviously missing a lot things, but I want to list these things. I want to know what I am missing and how to get them.

I have been feeling a bit lost this week and feeling that life is more than what we have now. I know that many people use the following philosophy, “I am content with what God gave me.” In my case, I believe that, but I also believe that I cannot stop and just feel content. I am not meant to stop, and there is more to “hope” for and look forward to. Life is an enigmatic journey that we try to plan and implement. Sometimes things are out of our hands, and other times we are obliged to do something about them.

So what am I missing? I need to figure that out the next few days and start doing something about them.

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Blah Blah, Confused, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!

I guess being a blogger taught me a lot about life, especially friendships. You see, I feel that I am better off being friends with all of you, my daily readers, because the people I met in my life and was friends with for a short or even a long time really did not work out.

I don’t have a problem with people, but people have a problem with me and feel that they can use me or get whatever they want out of me, because I am too damn nice and selfless, and then treat me like left over bones. I am the last one on their list.

I don’t want to force anyone to make me one of their priorities in life. I am not selfish at all. I just feel that I am a bit more worth it. I want to feel that someone really appreciates my friendship because of the person I am. I am tired of people taking advantage of me or only think of me as a friend when they need something.

It’s funny the number of people that went after me, pretty much hounded me just so they can ask me for something. It sucks, and that’s the reason I am afraid or just unsure if I can ever trust anyone. However, virtually, through this blog, I feel that some of you people out there are a lot more appreciative of who I am. You are more appreciative and willing to listen to me and converse. I never experienced that before with any of the friends I had in the past.

No one ever wanted to listen to me, and I just kept it inside and stayed quiet. That’s why I am a very quiet person in real life. I try to talk, but I don’t know who to trust and if they are really willing to listen to me. It’s really hard to find a friend to listen to you, and that’s why I feel that all of us are living in the wrong places. Fortunately, this blog brought all of you and I together. So I feel a bit better I guess and not alone.

I know I am late in posting a song that I am enjoying listening to this week, but here it is. This song inspired me, and I really like the lead singer of OneRepublic. He is cute!

“All The Right Moves” by OneRepublic

Blah Blah, Confused, Depressed, My taste of Music, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!

It sounds weird when I try to push my self. Push my self towards what exactly? I do feel aimless, but why? You see, I guess my life so far has gone up and down so much, and now, since it is steady, I feel it is not changing to any direction. At the same time, I don’t know to what direction I want it to go. I don’ t really know what I want. and that is the cause of my constant aggravation.

Do I want a guy and get married? I don’t know.

Do I want to change my career and find something that will challenge me a lot more? I don’t know.

Do I want to act like I don’t care and just have fake friends around me to satisfy my ego? I don’t know.

You see, at my age, life seems like an enigma. I have no clue what will make me happy, and I have no clue what is causing my utter despair. I just want to find this happy medium that will satisfy me, but I am not easily satisfied. However, I am not that hard to please, but at the same time, I don’t want to settle for anything because I have to or time is ticking.

I am just a mess of thoughts. I know too much. I think too much. People like me are only meant to discover things and make humanity better, and not worry about themselves. The moment I start thinking about this person, me, Mona, then I get huge migraines. The past 3 or 4 days I suffered with huge uncontrollable migraines, because I spent it thinking about me. The moment that I stop and think of the bigger picture and humanity as a whole, then I feel different.

So, I am thinking that I am only meant to worry about everything in this world except me. That will stop my emotional turmoil so I can wake up every morning not dreading it.

Life, it is not like a box of chocolates, but more like sour candy with a crinkly facial expression of weird satisfaction in the end.

Blah Blah, Confused, Depressed, Random Thoughts, Whatever!

Let’s see, I feel like crap. I am having a horrible long weekend, and I assure you, I am not at an all time low. On the contrary, I have been sitting in my office sulking in my chair and dozing off. That’s how much the world means nothing to me anymore. I rather nap instead.

As a result, my head is hurting me a lot. A horrible migraine! I decided that instead of me continuing on this conversation and telling the world that I am a bit, oh how can I say this eloquently, crazy; that it is better for you to tell me what you really think of me.

So what do you really think of me? This Mona. This Rebellious Arab Girl.

Ah.. Rebellious Arab Girl. The worst thing that can happen to the modern Arab civilization.

Blah Blah, Depressed, Random Thoughts, Whatever!

It’s that day again. Yep! You guessed it. It’s Valentines day, and I will carry on the same old tradition as I did for the past 3 years. I gathered all my readers and asked them to help me boycott it! I can’t believe that people still think that loving a person should be a one day special thing. What about the rest of the days of the year? What about those other people that don’t have anyone to love?

There ya go!

Also, I posted a poll that was running on my blog for the past two weeks, and so far these are the results. I am so disappointed. Most of you live in la la land!!

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History of my utter despise of Valentines Day

• February 14, 2006
• February 14, 2007
• February 14, 2008
• February 14, 2009

Angry, Random Thoughts, Whatever!