There has been talk flying around like it was bird’s mating season about this whole Facebook and what it is doing to the middle east. Really, I don’t think it is a factor, but just another communication tool used to get the word out there.

I could have done it with mass e-mailing. Like endless email forwarding (do people still forward emails?). Or just underground methods using some obscure communication languages to do the same old crap.

However, Facebook was used because it was plain and simple. It was clear that people were frustrated and wanted to openly say they were. So what? What’s wrong with it? Is it the whole generation gap thing again? Because I can tell you, my mother is not happy with what Facebook has done, but she doesn’t know how or why or who is causing it. It’s the Facebook Middle East Conspiracy theory.

I just think it was just about time. No conspiracy. Nothing.

Think of it this way. You are mad. You are angry. You not only want change, but you want to see a huge difference that not only effects you, but generations to come. I know from being an Arab, I have this fire inside of me that is always ready to get out. I have witnessed so much unbelievable crap in my life time through TV, radio, any other type of media out there and it really pisses me off. So can you imagine millions of Arab youths having this same feeling?

Me X millions = shit inevitably will happen..

So, for the Arabs in the middle east who clearly have one incentive, just don’t give up, but remember, “Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.” I am disappointed with some things going on, but the rest of you guys, good rebellion.

So, peace in the middle east and God protect the holy land!

Blah Blah, Culture, Random Thoughts

I know I shouldn’t be complaining, but honestly, I don’t see the point of this blog anymore. Like I don’t know what I am trying to get across to everyone. Am I trying to throw out a message to the world outside of my head? Think about it, what am I trying to say every day? I don’t know, I feel that I can’t anymore because I have no idea what it is anymore.

I live a sad life, and I have become isolated in my own little bubble, and I just don’t know if it is worth talking about.

I am not a psychological experiment. So don’t try to analyze me anymore. I am just another girl out there who happens to be Arab, who happens to have a blog, who happens to write mediocre articles, and I … I …

I am expressive, I don’t lie, and I am a bit blunt. Traits of a person who is at the high ladder of being disliked.

So what do I really want to say. You see, the land I came from is in chaos. The exotic land of the middle east which I should be calling my second home is slowly turning to ruins, and what am I supposed to talk about anymore? How great it is that people are standing up for what they believe in, but they are doing it wrong and letting outside forces control their behaviour? And for what?

Also, I am not happy with my life. And the reason I started this blog 5 years ago was because I was not happy at all. Every year it just gets worse but I take it one day at a time. I feel blessed to survive day by day despite all the unwanted distractions, and I try to make the best out of it. It is hard. It is very hard, and you can say I have not cried in a long time, but I think I express it in anger instead.

Anger is not something I am happy about. The majority of the time I cannot control it, and I even regret it. You try being me. It may not seem like the most important thing in the world, and there a lot worse things going on. I should be putting my self in someone else’s shoe, but that doesn’t help but make me feel worse. So why can’t I put my self in someone else’s shoe that will make me feel better?

Like people say, “oh it could get worse?” Why can’t they say, “things will get better and look at this person and that?”

I have not been doing anything on my own or being creative for so many years. I am not doing anything that will make me feel or even appear better. I want to do something with my life that will make me in 20 years look back and say, “Ahh the hard times were merely just my own imagination.”

Really, I just don’t know what to say anymore..

“Is there anyone out there, because it is getting harder and harder to breath.. “

Blah Blah, Depressed, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!

Where do I even begin this one?

I know many of you have viewed me as the “pessimist,” but I can’t help being me. I am just this type of person. Surprisingly, there are many things that make me happy. I get excited really quick, and about just the little things really. Maybe that’s why I am a pessimist because I view certain huge things as annoying obstacles or just whatever you know. But the cute little things just make me oh so happy!

For example, I get excited when I buy new electronic gadgets. It drives me to extreme happy mode. It is insignificant, selfish and materialistic happiness, but dammit, we do what makes us happy. Even if they are things that cost an arm and a leg.

I also get excited when I see happy fun people. I don’t get jealous or say, “what the fuck is wrong with them?” No, I like to share their joy and excitement. I don’t know why, but I feel I want to be part of their joy in order to be joyful as well. Sounds gay and totally stupid, but it works.

However, if it makes you guys happy to send me emails (like this morning from subscribed fans) to tell me that you want to have fun and a fucking good time, then you need to wake up from your dream land, because that ain’t happening buddy. You guys are serious FOBS who can’t even write English, nor have respect to women. But oh, I am a pessimist again. You guys need to make me happy and joyful, not fucking annoyed.

Selfish people. Learn to be happy! (Rolling my eyes, and lying through my teeth!)

So, what makes you people happy? Cuz I need to feel the happy vibe in order to stay happy. Don’t you guys want me to be happy? Happy is happy does!!

Categorize this!, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!

I don’t even know where to begin yapping and complaining. But I am still recovering, or really rejuvenating. I know the hell will be back again next week, but what can I do??

I think I am at my all time depression. It used to be bad when I was like 25 and 26. But now, ultimate peek. I know why though. I think I am at an age where I want so much, I work so hard, and I have been doing it for years but I am not seeing the benefit of it. I think it is more of a change of ideology then a change of daily habits. What do you guys think?

On a better note, I am getting my Blackberry Playbook next week. I pre-ordered it and I am waiting for the release. That will cheer me up for sure!

I am also back and active on Twitter @rebelliousgirl. So add me and talk to me there if you need me ASAP or want to ask a question. I keep up with it more than the Facebook account. I need people to talk to. Life is too depressing and I need you guys to cheer me up.

Random Thoughts

I always wondered how one portrays their confidence without being called arrogant. I am not sure where to even begin. If one has any form of over confidence, they label them as arrogant. So if one is arrogant, would people would think they are confident?

What do you think? Have you ever been labeled arrogant but all you really meant to be at that situation just a bit over confident. It is more of a protective and stubborn state of mind, nothing more.

And the final question! Do you guys really think I am arrogant or just confident enough to seem that I am arrogant?

Blah Blah, Confused, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, Whatever!