From a HOLIDAY THAT I STARTED!

And I forgot to blog about!

Today is Kiss Me I am Arab day. I declared it as another hallmark holiday because you know, we can’t get enough of those!! So I got lots of email kisses!

This is its 3rd year in a row!

Enjoy the day, and blow kisses to an Arab, they really need it with such chaos they are living at back home.

Blah Blah, Culture, Random Thoughts

I have been watching CNN all day cause of what happened in Japan. It is a devastation just to see such powerful natural disasters with your own eyes from so far away. I was sitting on the couch crying because none of us know what will happen tomorrow anymore. And all these lives.. all gone.

This morning, after a week of almost daily rain and mountains of snow melting, a huge winter blizzard hit again my home city. It hit in the AM hours, right after the earthquake in Japan. It wasn’t predicted to be this severe, but it just happened. This just shows us that us humans can’t predict very well and we are only guesstimating. In the end it is all in the hands of God. We can only just sit there and watch.

Moreover, The crisis in the middle east and the most evil dictators known in humanity. Who in the world calls him self a leader and kills his people because they don’t want him anymore? What is wrong with this picture? Then a huge natural disaster.. it’s like watching a movie, but you can’t help but realize that it’s not digitally made and this is the real thing and it will only get worse.

Anger.. just anger every where. It makes me weak to my stomach and I just want to curl in my own corner and isolate my self. The world has officially become a horrible scene to witness.

Depressed, Random Thoughts

I know, I know. I get so many people jumping on my back and I don’t know if my body can handle that many people, and no you sickos, DON’T IMAGINE ANYTHING right now. Thank you. So, the past week has been amazing. I was sick, my throat was making me sing a different tune, my head was aching, and I kept exerting stuff out of my body that didn’t seem normal. Yah I know, gross intro.

Then it was Tuesday or Wednesday, but I didn’t blog normally. I haven’t for a while really. I guess people expect me to comment regarding the fire in the Middle East. My homeland. My people! Dude! It is not a fire. It is just normal average people like you and I that thought really hard and said, “shit.. our lives suck because our rulers make us feel like shit, we ain’t got no money, and our countries have enormous resources that would make us happy people.. but who the hell is taking all the money? Why the hell we are treated like dirt?” Yada yada.. All of you know that in order to expect any type of change is to just think different, even just a tiny bit and just say it. Just state your opinion! If the dumb ass in front of you doesn’t want to hear it and think you are a piece of shit, then ignore and just stand for what you believe in. That’s what I call rebellious. Be different and tell others why you think that way. However, being killed cause of it is disgusting and the world needs to stop being so political and say we can’t do anything cause it is not our problem. Believe me, it will become the whole world’s problem when we can’t afford to pay for gas or buy anything! See what happens when Arabs get pissed?

Anyways, I have been a victim of ridicule and hate when I started this blog because DEAR GOD my blog was so full of sin and people hated me for you know, saying stuff on the internet. No one has to agree, but as human beings all we really care about is our dignity and others to respect us for who we are and what we think.

Now to get back to life. My life. Well, not really, but more of a general thought I have been thinking about a lot the past 2 weeks. You see, I always wondered what makes us bitter people. Like bitter in a sense of not caring or being so cold and resentful of others. In my case, I feel that people like to take advantage of my care free personality and overly kind actions. I can’t help but be nice to others. Then, all of a sudden, people around me change, and treat me like crap or last on their list and that’s it. What did they expect me to do then? Give them a hug?

I may be the bitter and the very sour person, and if I can go back in time and think a little bit differently, I would still do the same thing. It’s our dignity and self respect that we care about. If actions lead us to think negatively and become bitter about certain things, so be it. Why does it really matter to anyone? Honestly, I want to grow old and still be the same person with bitter thoughts about a lot of things. I like it. It makes me think. If one day I ever feel regret, then I give permission to visitor A-Z to hunt me down and shoot me.

Being rebellious in thoughts is a wonderful thing. But being totally out of it because of NyQuil the past week is even better!

Blah Blah, Categorize this!, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!

Another dear Mona moment.. but this time, it is remembering things I didn’t want to. However, when I think about, it’s all in this blog. It’s like a permanent part of me now. I cannot remove it, and people will take it into consideration and ask me.

Confused Arab Girl said,

Hi Mona!

I have been keeping up with your blog for so long.. I even read the older posts! Hahha I feel like I can relate to the majority of them. I read your one post about your ex, and if I can remember correctly, he left you with no explanation? And later got married to someone from overseas?

Sadly I’m going through somewhat of a similar situation.. I went to school with this guy and he’s been trying to talk to me for awhile. At first I wasn’t interested, and didn’t want anything to do with him. He asked a mutual close friend to talk to me and convince me to give him a chance. I finally did, and we started talking here and there. Than our short conversations few times a week turned into long conversations daily! I honestly thought he was it, we had so much in common. And of course he told me things every girl would want to hear, but it all felt so real! A few months later, he stopped talking to me with no explanation! Weeks went on, then two months later, our mutual friend told me he was getting engaged to a girl from overseas. All those feelings came back, I was in complete shock! I never thought it would come to that, especially after everything he has told me. If he really cared like he said he did, why didn’t he tell me? Was I not worth an explanation? It’s killing me inside to just ask him what happened and why he didn’t just tell me. Had he told me before I don’t think I would be as hurt as I was finding out from someone else. My question is.. should I ask him what happened? Or is it not worth it anymore and just move on? It bothers me so much not knowing what happened, but would knowing what happened hurt me more? So confused!
I would really appreciate your advice!!

Confused Arab Girl

Dear Confused Arab Girl,

I know deep down inside of you you would like to know what happened. Not because you are afraid to get hurt, but you just want to know so you would stop thinking about it. Either way, he left you, you are hurt. End of story. Nothing more to do about it.

I am not sure how much you read, but my story escalated. You can say I found out what he did, no explanation other than being a typical Arab male, and I just forgot about it. A few months later, he contacted me after he saw me (took one glimpse), and then wondered what if. To me, if you are married, it is sinful to even think about someone else. If you are, then frigg, you should not be married at all. He even asked me to meet him for lunch to talk. I am like wtf!

You see, trying to know and getting an explanation or any reason why is pointless. The story ended. The red line has been crossed and that’s it. Anything past that line is pointless, hopeless, and it won’t let you move on with your life.

It is better to move on with your life and make any new choices that you can come up with. It may be new love, new career change, new everything, but you have to change in order to move on.

In my case, I am just preaching. I am forgetting, but I don’t want to deal with such a thing again. I guess after that I have become an incredibly patient person, beyond anyone’s belief, but I have serious temper problems. I blow up the second anyone crosses the line, and I rather just have my own space.

How long will I stay this way? I don’t know. One day things will change, but I guarantee you that being bitter sometimes helps you stop making wrong decisions and think twice from now on.

If anyone has a story or a question to share, please contact me and I will post it!

Advice, Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Thank you, They said what?

I got an email saying the following, and the person that sent it seems to love my blog enough that not writing on here and being such an awful blogger is killing him!

He said,

You okay? You haven’t posted on your blog for a few days, and the last post was about suicide, albeit of the vegetable kind.

I didn’t even think of it that way. I just thought is was a hilarious clip! I am easily amused.

Anyways, why the lack of updates?

You see, I don’t know if I am lazy, or busy. I think since I am so busy, I turn to a sloth by dinner time and I don’t have anything to say. Plus, I don’t really converse much with people, so my stories are pretty limited. Believe me, less headache the past year because I don’t have to deal with people’s stories and them abusing my friendship.

Anyways, I discovered lately why I am a bad student or even was in University. I like to learn, don’t get me wrong. I am a procrastinator, obviously. But my problem is that I have zero attention span. Even if I start any school work early, I cannot get my self to complete it. I don’t feel any pressure then. I only work with pressure hovering over my head. That’s when I know I have to do it, NOW!

Haha.. yah! One more year and I will get certified! So awesome!

It is funny that when I started to take continuing education, and you guys know my mom, a typical Arab lady who brags, that the other Arab moms are replying back, “oh, well my daughter does it too! Oh no no, they are doing their masters!” Hmm, did I miss something? Sure, but I have some people or find people on Facebook and you know Facebook, brag town, and they are doing shit. But you know me guys, believing some people is like believing in green aliens!

But I do believe in red aliens!

Blah Blah, Funny, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!