I don’t mean to be a total critical bitch, but come on! Stop writing FICTIONAL BLOG POSTS you good for nothing, waste of internet space bloggers! I have been scoping out the Arab Blogsphere, which I seldom read, and I have been seeing too many questionable life stories of some people. I simply don’t understand the motives of some bloggers. I know that 75% of Arab blogs are crap. Seriously crap and have no structure, no written skills, and shameful grammar. However, why make a bad blog even worse with writing fictional and totally absurd stories? Honestly, you make the rest of the good Arab bloggers seem bad with your idiocity! The problem is that people are fools when it comes to big announcements. Big events are always a congratulatory event.

Have these people ever stopped and thought, where the hell did this story come from? Was there any hints or events that lead up to this? Or every day is complete BS, that the web stats are hitting a downward curve that the blogger decides to announce some fictional event in their life to grab people’s attention?

Let’s go back to the basics. What is a blog?

Blog is a website composed of frequent daily or weekly diary or journal entries of thoughts and life events. IT IS NOT A STORY BOOK! If it was, then remove your title blogger from it. You are not a blogger! You are bringing shame to the meaning of the word!

Arab bloggers sometimes remind me of American Media. Media in general is not interesting, and people don’t pay attention to the media unless it is something extraordinary and out of the blue. It’s the media’s way of getting the ratings back up and they don’t care if the story is 100% true. They want the ratings, and people are easily amused. Are humans that stupid? Does any major event grab their undying attention within seconds without thinking, is that possible?

People will tell me, well, it doesn’t matter. People read whatever they like. I know that. But there are people like me who are not normal and question everything. Especially other Arab blogs that make no sense and have no value to our niche.

Arab bloggers!!! I know most of you hate me, and I can tell by the poll I made 2 days ago that really you do. However, I know you do because I can’t keep my mouth shut and I can’t stand reading half the crap you ever written. It’s too absurd. The level of intelligence of your blogs make me wonder what the hell do you eat for dinner every night. It must be a mix of some old mouldy Labne (soft yogurt) and store bought expired canned wara2 3enab (rolled grape leaves). Ekh.. change your diet please!

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Who said that being a couch potato is bad? Life can be so exciting all from a corner of the couch. All you need is a cell phone and laptop and your life is set. This is what our world have boiled down to. I don’t need anything else.

As long as a person is reachable using any of the modern communications tools than they are set.

What you need to survive the modern world?

1. MSN or GTalk

Everyone is always online using the most popular instant messengers. So you never miss out on the latest buzz. Someone is always online to tell you what’s going on in the world.

2. Cell Phone

Your mobile number is your life. You can make it your life and only source of directly finding you everywhere and anywhere. Yesterday, I had issues with my cell phone. My Fido SIM card was dying so I could not receive or make calls or send SMS.. nothing. Those hours of agony of not being available has made me panic. What if someone called? Like now? I couldn’t even get into my voice mail. That’s how bad it was. Fido customer service were SO sick of me. Calling them 3 times last night and being on the phone for minimum 45 minutes really irritated them, and brought me joy.

3. SMS

Sometimes you don’t need to talk to someone verbally, and SMS is like chatting but quicker and it guarantees that the person will receive the message.

4. Facebook

Although I despise Facebook with all my heart and soul, it seems to be the IT way to communicate with people, and it is usually people you haven’t seen in a while. However, you are in touch with them for the heck of it, and if you didn’t add them, then they think you are a stuck up bitch and think you are all that. I guess I am ALL THAT.

5. Twitter.

Everyone needs a posse and people to stalk. I am allowing it and I like being nosy and knowing what’s up with people and what’s the latest general buzz that is going on. I care if someone is having a bad day. I care if someone is sharing a cool new link with awesome new gadgets. I care if someone is needing help solving a computer problem, etc. I just care because it is amusing to care about something that someone else is doing than real people you know. It’s social networking to the extreme.

That’s all you need.

So yesterday, I got tons of emails and people who kept wondering where I am and if I will ever go back to normal. I had to just make short blurbs on Twitter or else people thought I was dead.

What’s new with me?

1. I was interviewed a couple of weeks ago as a Geek Girl Blogger. The interview was posted yesterday.

2. My back is hurting me still, but my back has moved from a 90 degree angle to a 120 degree. It’s an improvement, yet the pain is still brutal. My dad thinks it is a great time for a vacation, and I said, “if I did ever want a long vacation, I would end up sitting on the couch anyways.”

3. I got an email this morning from a girl I met off the net and she gave me a link to a profile on Facebook from a person in Kuwait that is using my picture. I checked out the profile and saw the person’s friend list and it was all teenage little boys. Either the person who stole my picture is homosexual, or it’s an ugly girl who thought I was better looking than her ugly ass and used my pic to lure men. Don’t worry, I reported the person and I messaged the idiot to take my pic off. Why the hell you people want to steal my pics and make fake profiles? If you want to make a fake profile make a Facebook club for me! I know so many people, bloggers especially, who made their own Facebook fan page. I always wondered why someone is that desperate to be popular? I only want to be popular so I can rule the world from my couch command centre!!

4. My sister got a 92% in English writing. Guess who wrote all her essays?

That’s it for today, yesterday I didn’t blog because I was too tired and the drugs made me sleepy half the day.

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For some reason last night I remembered this one girl I knew 5 years ago. We were friends for about 4 years and we got along great. Then something weird happened till this day I do not understand but always made me have this drive to teach girls about the internet world and how “things work.”

She had problems with this bike that she was forced to buy for over a $1000. It was top of the line gorgeous one. So after a year of owning it and obviously she didn’t use it because she had a car, her dad was making her sell it. So I went over to her house and I helped her. She wanted to sell it on the ever so famous Ebay. While we were discussing it she had an old computer that I wanted to buy off of her for 50 bucks. I wanted to make a Linux server out of it and buying old used computers back then wasn’t cheap. So finding someone who will part with it for less than 100 bucks was scarce.

So I made her an Ebay account and explained to her everything that could be explained. I then asked her this simple question, “what is the lowest price you want to sell the bike for? It will be the reserve value and no one can go less than that.” She said, “$600. No less.” I said, “cool. You can deal with the shipping and stuff later. You just have to talk to the person who will win the bid and discuss it that way.”

She agreed and the auction went on. First day she kept calling me and saying, “no one is bidding!” I said, “people usually don’t that early on a 7 day auction.”

Day two.. three.. six.

She then started getting bids, but it was someone trying to reach the reserve value. She then called me on the last day before the auction was over and said, “yay. It reached $600. Will it go more before the auction ends?” I said, “maybe. It depends if there were two or more people fighting over it.”

The auction was over, and I was in desperate need of getting a server. So I called her up after and this is what went down!

I said, “hey.. so you sold your bike eh? How did the process and everything go!”

She said, “I only SOLD if for $600 dollars! And I have to ship it to Toronto. How am I going to ship it. Why didn’t you put local pickup ONLY!”

I was puzzled.

I said, “aah… because you didn’t care if it was shipped and you didn’t want to sell it for less than $600.”

She said, “now my dad is mad cause I only sold it for $600 and I have to ship it. It will cost the person like over $150 to get it shipped.”

I said, “well.. so? Just get them to pay that much and ship it. It’s not a big deal. Is it?”

She said, “it IS! Now I have to go through all the hassle of send it out. You should have JUST PUT local PICKUP! And YOU should have put the reserve much higher! It’s an expensive bike that was never used.”

Again.. I was puzzled.

I said, “well.. ok. So now what? I can’t do anything. But I called you to see if you want to still sell your old computer. I will backup everything on the hard drive and put it on CDs for you. Ok?”

She screamed at me and said, “NO! I am not selling it to you. My dad wants it and won’t part with it.”

I said, “ok.”

She said, “fine.. bye.”

After that, she never talked to me again for a while. My other friend who is also her friend told me that she wanted to talk to me again blah blah. I said, “listen. I don’t have time for children. I don’t understand what happened and why she acted the way she did. What’s done is done. I tried to help, and this is what I get in the end.”

From that day, I became more of a direct person in dealing with people. Anyone who messes with me and does not appreciate me helping them out for free and being a friend, I just completely ignore them and end it there. I don’t understand some girls and their indecisiveness, whining and blaming others. It’s just stupid.

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I think the last post has confused the hell out of people. People messaged me, emailed me, sent me facebook messages, twittered a bucket full of messages to me and said, “DON’T GO! COME BACK!”

Honestly people, I needed a brake. A brake from reality and virtual hell.

I even had a discussion with my best friend Lisa who said that I shouldn’t distinguish real people that I know in person from people online. They are all people and they all care. That’s when I realized that three days not posting a single post has made me jittery and utterly lost.

The problem is that I don’t want to be one of those people that rely on their blog. If my blog had any value than I would be a full time blogger and this would be my life like so many others. However, I don’t want that. I feel that I have been living in virtual la la land called the internet for too long. Once reality hit me I freaked out. I totally freaked out. I think I did have a melt down. I needed to stop all the bull shit and end this. I honestly quit blogging. That was my intention. To slowly close down the site. I just wanted a transition period to make sure that I made the right decision.

Then I realized, that hell, LIFE is full of shit. Life is the biggest disappointment and none of us should ever be happy. That’s why we have turned to the virtual world because reality is fucking horrible. The problem is that I am crazy. Seriously. I am not normal and a bit of a psychiatric phenomenon. People take drugs to calm them selves down and make their brains think that life is ok, but I didn’t choose that path. Oh no. I refused to listen to The Man! I refused to be part of the experimental norm!

I learned in psychology class that there wouldn’t even be a psychology discipline if there were normal people. That’s why statisticians and psychologists came up with that term norm to separate people and put them in categories. You are either part of the norm or you are not. And what did I discover from learning how to draw a hill top on an X and Y chart? That NO ONE is part of the norm except those psychologists. They are the norm of people that define everyone else to be abnormal so they can earn over 100 bucks an hour and get millions of dollars in research money to define everyone else in the world as abnormal. That’s it. I discovered the evil manipulative money sucking plan of those two faced bastards all from a hill top chart. God I am a genius! I should get a distinguished medal of honour for it with my name engraved in 24 carat gold and diamond studs on it. That’s how much they owe me for their fucking money sucking time. It’s all business. They made people crazy so the business would bloom.

Damn it. It’s the best evil plan to make money off the depressed souls in the world. Geniuses! Everyone is depressed. No one is happy, and those who think they are are only kidden them selves. If people were happy, then there would be no wars, no crimes, no anger, no lying, no hateful words towards one another, and no BLOGS! The internet would be dead and there would be no entertainment values in it anymore.

You might think I am crazy, and I have to agree with you. I am not normal. I refuse to be normal and all through my life, people wanted me to be normal. I didn’t know what normal meant because I never met a person who was. Why?

BECAUSE WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS and EACH OF US has THEIR OWN STUPID BRAINS and PERSONALITIES!

Yep. Total meltdown people. Internet people, there you go. I am crazy. I admit it. And everyone else who says they are happy and they are normal and life is perfect is going to be shot by me. I will track you down. Just be careful. I will come to your door step, smack you silly with my $300 Coach Bag, and shoot your toes with a bee bee gun.

After reading this post, ask your self this my virtual friend, “why do I come to this site?” And then I will answer you with this, “Because you are fucking insano crazy too.”

Amen to that.

Anyways, I am going home. Fuck this shit hole that people call a job. I call it a life sucking torture chamber.

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Blogs are becoming really popular in our day and age, yet blogs would not have a lot of traffic without its loyal readers. Many readers are not bloggers, but just interested people who want to read a real person’s point of view of certain issues in the world and give their two-cents.

I have been browsing a lot of blogs. However, I saw a BIG trend. People don’t know how to make nice looking blogs, and some can’t even write or check spelling or grammar which makes me wonder why they are blogging in the first place. Blogging is the art of writing. Can you write? If you can, then you can easily blog. It’s not hard.

Some bloggers need a few lessons in writing, and some non-bloggers need to learn that they ARE great writers. Are you?

So this is what I am going to do. I am allowing any individual who is interested in writing (you may or may not have a blog) to write a critique or opinion of what it means for you to be rebellious. Pick any subject that you would rebel about and explain why. You should write 300 - 750 words. I am not counting, but that is a good enough mini essay, and I will publish it on my site, and allow other readers to comment and give their opinion to what you have written. This will give you free visitor input and a bit of understanding of how hard it is to be a blog writer. In other words, putting your self in my shoes.

Everyone is welcome to email to:

me (at) rebelliousarabgirl.net

Format of email body:

Name or nickname, blog URL (if any), picture (check out jupiterimages for some ideas or flickr), and your post. That’s it!

I will be accepting submissions till June 8. I will be posting them throughout the next few days. Happy writing!

PS. Make it stand out and no nonsense please!

So here I am sitting at work. That’s exactly what I do. I sit and I do nothing else but browse the net and listen to music. You know how I managed to survive the first two hours of work this morning? I watched the movie Juno. I like that movie because I like her smart ass mouth and irrational thinking. Anyways, this job has become the most useless waste of my life. I am ashamed at times to tell people I have a job. They ask me, “what do you do?” What am I to answer? I make … ? I program … ? I design … ? Ahh.. I don’t know what I do, and I am not going to figure that out after 6 years.

I rather be home browsing the net. At least I can eat home cooked food and watch TV at the same time. I heard Soap Operas are quite addictive.

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Yes, don’t let the title fool you. It is true. I used she, and her in one sentence. For those who can’t read, it is girl and girl getting married. DON’T FANTASIZE RIGHT NOW! Not the time for it. My post has another point! So, how they getting married?

Through Facebook!

Facebook has the feature for single, in a relationship with, engaged to, married to option where you can add whomever. Ok. Add whomever. I give you my blessings that you have found your other half. No problem. You are awesome!

NOT!

Ok.. most of the girls on my list on Facebook are Arab. Those ARAB girls have serious self esteem issues or they think it is ok to get married to their best friend on Facebook. When I read on their status message that they got married out of no where then I read the person’s name and see that it is their girl “friend” then my eyes start popping out. What’s wrong with you Arabic girls!!?? Because people assume you are straight since you are Arabic doesn’t mean that it is OK for you to announce to the 300+ people on your contact list how much you love your best friend and now you are married to her virtually (hopefully only!). GROSS! Seriously. I condemn you for being such a fool, and I feel like removing you from my list. I don’t want a virtual same-sex oriented married friend on my list. Sorry, but I am prejudice and I think you are dumb.

Another thing that I HATE about Facebook and its stupid naive users is the stupid Advanced Wall or Fun Wall or any other crappy wall. I hate those. I hate them so much that I am afraid to click on my friends’ profiles anymore. I am afraid that they would have something that hasn’t been SEEN yet by the profile owner. Yes, I am talking about PORN! I was browsing an old friend’s profile, and she is a very nice person, and is mohajaba. She has a million applications added and I counted them and stopped when my eyes started hurting at million and one. So I clicked on her profile and I dropped out of my seat and said, WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! She got full fledge porn on her Fun Wall from some other Arabic guy. Ahh? Ahhh.. CLOSE IT CLOSE IT! My little sister is coming! Shit man. Facebook and its users are fucked.

Anyways.. what did we all learn from this post?

1. I will never marry my best friend. She will hate me if I didn’t propose first and made it public without her knowledge.
2. Facebook = porn.
3. Time to remove more people from my Facebook list.

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Probably the worst thing I have ever had to suffer through the past few weeks is job hunting. Jobs in my city are stupid. Beyond stupid. I am sick of the way they conduct interviews. I am sick of waiting for HR to reply back. I am just sick of the whole job hunting. Why can’t I just get a job that I can be happy doing what I love to do?

Love to do? I wish I knew what I wanted to do and what I am qualified for.

Most of the jobs that I see are either 1 - 2 years experience or more than 8 years! Hardly any in the middle ground. Those in the middle ground want an experienced person who knows EVERYTHING! Well, ok, I know everything, but can you really hire a person like that and expect them to be perfect at their job? How much is too much? How much is too little?

I am just sick and tired of looking for work here. I really am. I feel trapped in this job forever. I don’t even discuss job hunting or any interview I do with anyone anymore. They all hate me for it. The problem is my co-workers apply for the same jobs as me, and I am sick of it. I feel like I am competing to get an interview with a bunch of lazy, and unmotivated people who just want a job to earn money and that’s it. They have no passion. They never did. I feel that the more I discuss it with them, the more envious they are and they jinx me for it. They really do and they wonder why I get a lot of interviews and they don’t.

Believe me, I went on a lot of interviews! Some haven’t even replied yet, well, because, I HAVE NO CLUE! At least they should say no! That’s why they have HR for! Say something. I don’t care. Just leaving me hanging there wondering makes me sick. I am getting mentally sick. The more I stay at this horrible job of mine, the more I feel I am loosing my skills and charisma as a good IT professional. I am loosing my skills and passion and it is killing me!

I am just sick of my life. I really am. I am even thinking of applying to work now out of my city and move. I am just sick of being here. This city is not liking me. It doesn’t want me here and I feel that I have to go. How long does it take for an IT professional to find a job? Really! 6 years experience and I am stuck in a rut. I am either over qualified or under qualified.

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I think it was at age 19 when I realized that I don’t want children of my own. I really don’t. At times I wonder if I ever had kids, would they end up looking at me? That’s the only reason I would EVER want one. Other times, well, I just can’t stand being around them. I think they are only cute because they are children. However, they do have an evil cute addicting smile and giggle, but I learned to not be weak in their presence. They are cute for 5 minute, and the other 23 hours and 55 minutes they are annoying as hell!

Why do I think this way? I think it has to do with my sister being so much younger than me. 14.5 years younger than me. I call her my replacement. I keep telling my mom that she got a second chance to raise a well behaved perfect child that she can control. I turned out really bad according to my mother. She keeps saying this to me, “you are hopeless!” What she really meant, “you are 27 years old.. SETTLE down and find a husband!” (That’s what my dad said right after she said that, because my dad is not only blunt, he is a MIND READER! Like I didn’t really understand what she meant the first time.)

Well, my sister is no angel. She is not even perfect or exactly what my mom wanted. She has to scream at her 10 times within a 2 minute interval to just clean her room. My sister says, “why do I have to clean it? I don’t want to!” Then my mom would say, “all you care about is expensive brand name clothes.. where will you put all these clothes if your room is garbage!”

Oh the smile on my face when my mom fights my sister. It’s like the chirping sound of a nightingale in my ears. Perfect child? A well behaved better child as my mom wanted, NOP! She did it wrong the first time (as she thinks), and the second time is a LOT worse! I didn’t start talking back to my mom till I was about 20. I think that’s when my head got larger than life and thought to my self one day, “I HAD ENOUGH!” Too bad my sister’s generation is 10 years ahead cause it is quite FUNNY to me, her behavior and big mouth that is.

My sister was cute. She was adorable. She was so behaved when she was little that I would carry her with a smile!

Then, there came another girl. My cutest most adorable niece. I even say how adorable she is in front of my sister and the first thing she asks me, “wasn’t I cute when I was a baby too?” In the back of my head I think, “yes.. she was CUTE and sweet and quiet child.” However, I just tell my sister, “nah.. this one is WAY cuter!” It does the trick of pissing her off and then she whines and complains that I don’t like her. Kids.

Well, cuteness is just a masque in children. Cute is just the way a person looks. People think I am cute. No? I think I am cute but doesn’t mean I am AWESOME or PERFECT or ADORABLE or SWEET. No. It’s just a masque. It really is. I thought I had enough of my sister’s childish behavior and craziness. I really thought it was over. NO! NO! NO! My niece is 100 times worse. She is the most hyperactive child I ever seen. I had to baby sit her yesterday for 2 hours, and those 2 hours were a work out! She is a bit over 9 months old now, she crawl, she screams, and scratches. Just like a cat. I call her my kitten. CAUSE SHE IS ONE! When she sees me, she laughs really loud and screams, then she crawls really fast towards me, and then wants to stand up and climb to reach my face. My face. Oh my face. Those nails. Dear GOD why do her nails grow faster than mine ever did!? Revenge I tell. REVENGE of her looking like me. A lot of people think she is my daughter because the resemblance is uncanny! She looks more like me than my sister ever did.

Not only that, my niece talks back. I say, “Bah!”, she replies back with a smirk on her face and says, “BAAAAAAAAAH!!!!” One times she screamed it in my ear and I fell on the ground from the loud ringing in my ear. The child is mad I tell you, MAD with anger and rage and LOUDNESS!

The more I stay away from those rug rats, the more they keep crawling back. It’s like I am a lovable disease! They love to scream at me. They love to scratch me. They love to talk back. Why would any sane person want children?

Anyways, who cares about them. Looking back at the way I was, I think to my self that I was adorable, behaved and my mom should REGRET ever saying, “I turned out bad!” WHATEVER..

9 comments

It has been 30 months since the birth of my blog. I thought about it the other day and wondered how in the world did this last? I seldom ever have a hobby that grabs my attention for so long. They were more of impulses and sudden interests that lasted a few days or weeks, and that’s it. I always needed a change and I just moved on. However, why blogging? Why this blog?

Why did I keep this blog alive although it caused so many personal problems? Why did I keep it when I knew that I had some people hating me for having it and wondering when will I stop? I think the reason I kept it going is simply because the more someone told me to stop, then the more I wanted to continue with it. Some people couldn’t believe what I wrote about them. (I mean really, I got a personal blog, of course I am going to write about the people around me.) Some can’t even understand why I think the way I do. Some can’t even imagine me ever being like this in real life.

So why this long? Really? 30 months is a lot. I know a lot of famous bloggers have been doing this for years, and their blogs have been the only voice they can speak freely about their life, and … well … I think this blog was my retaliation to everything that I couldn’t say out loud. I couldn’t tell others what I really thought. It was my scapegoat from reality.

A lot of people ask me about the validity about what I have written too. Is it the truth? A million times I have to repeat this, I honestly don’t want to spend my time writing a fictional post and making it all colourful like other bloggers I know, because I have better things to do! Blog is a journal. This is my journal.

Do I ever regret making this blog? Yes. I am just sick of the daily emails from guys looking for porn and want my phone number.

Do I ever regret telling people I know about it? Yes. I am sick of people I know speaking to me about something that I KNOW I never told them about, and they just bring it into a conversation thinking I wouldn’t notice or that I mentioned it before to them and they want a way to “comment.”

Do I ever regret keeping this site for so long? Yes. The longer I kept it alive, the more history there was to read.

Will I ever stop? Someday.

I am just not happy with what I have done. This blog is/was the most impulsive decision that I have ever done, and it continued on for two reasons.

1. I had to tell people off and I couldn’t do it anymore to their face or by email. I thought of it as their well deserved free publicity.
2. There are so many things that bother me in the world, especially about being an Arab, and I wanted to know that I am not the only one with these thoughts.

I didn’t blog yesterday because I wanted to stop. I really did. I wanted to see how it was if I didn’t blog. Would it have made a difference to my daily life? Did I miss it? Will I ever miss it?

Time will only tell …

Until then, the rebellion has to continue… for the sake of … ? me I guess …

6 comments