I got an SMS on my mobile today out of no where from my ex-best-friend telling me this:

“Hey.. I am inviting u to my wedding if you would like to call a truce and come I would be happy to see u..”

When I read that I was like what the hell? Wasn’t that the problem to begin with? She didn’t even tell me she was engaged and I had to find out using the most ruthless manner, and she barely talked to me except on a blue moon.

What’s wrong with people? Why does everyone think that I am the same old Mona that is too nice who just forgets everything and moves on. No. I will forgive one day, but I will never forget. If I go to her wedding it’s like admitting this, “Oh nothing happened, and I am only here because it is the truce or whatever the truce even means in this situation.”

I am tired of people. Even though I am so lonely and I have no one to talk to or tell them my little secrets anymore, I just learned to be stronger and focus on my self. Everyone else seems to focus on the number one person. I am going to do that too.

I don’t need friends that think of me as last in their list and think of me as an after thought. Life goes on, and life is meant to meet new people all the time. This is not the first time this happens to me, and I learned to be strong and move on.

Waiting for new people to come into my life is like waiting for a passing comet to shine in my life.

Culture, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!

I don’t know if I feel better or just slightly better this week. I know I do feel excited and a bit adventurous. A new cute car, and my job is stable and more structured now. There aren’t many people bothering me that much at work anymore.

As days pass, I wonder what I can do to improve my mental well being. I think I suffered so much in the past, that anything new is beyond exciting. I just need to teach my self to let go and move on with my life. I want the past to just erase it self from my memory, and let my mind accept the new. That has always been my biggest problem in my life, accepting change. Therefore, I just taught my self and forced my self to not wait. Just accept the way things are and try anything new. No need to hide behind an invisible barrier all my life.

I always wondered how I ended up like this. Maybe because things around me changed so much, that I didn’t know how to deal with it. I just kept putting that barrier and staying away. I didn’t want to accept it and just let it be. That’s my problem. That has always been my problem all my life. Now, as I am slowly maturing (yes.. sad but true.. 29 and my mind finally matured), I am finally realizing that life is not worth the headache.

Side Note

Every time my sister sees me on the computer, and I talk to her about anything that pertains to her personality, she tells me this, “I am a rebel!”

It’s heredity, don’t blame me!

Blah Blah, Happy, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, They said what?

This is the second part of yesterday’s post.. or in other words, today’s latest events. Ok, so this is what happened today! I went to work early, like always. So one of the guys came in soon after me and discussed what happened in yesterday’s meeting. I told him other things that have been going on and he told me, “Don’t worry about it. Just learn to say no.”

About 15 minutes later, I had to step out. I came back within 10 minutes, and the moment I got off the elevator, I could hear a loud women’s voice arguing. You must know, that the office suite is one of three on that floor. If I could hear her right off the elevator, then anyone else can.

I heard the raging voice, and I quickly ran down the hall way to another quicker access door to where my desk is. (The bosses are not there from today and all of next week). Then I told the other programmer, she is at the front angry and won’t stop complaining. He said, “Why?” I told him, “Don’t you remember yesterday?” (He doesn’t care at all really.)

I sat quietly on my desk working with my headphone on and groovy Mona music. Few minutes later, she raged down the hall with a frantic voice and said, “Good morning! This is the new tech support lady!”

When I heard that, I refused to answer back or even bother with her. She scares the hell out of me. I don’t understand her problem. She works in a small company that is quickly turning its focus to software only, and she is supposedly managing the customers. Why does she complain? She doesn’t even have to do anything technical at all. The work has been delegated equally to everyone that has the knowledge and experience to do it. Her job is to take off the load from me when people ask me stupid questions about how to find this in the software or do you have this yet? She does not understand that, and she thinks she is doing the “technical” part now.

She refused to talk to me most of the day, like I did something horrible to her. I didn’t do shit. All I know I was hired for one very important thing that is pretty much keeping the place alive and keeping her job. She just wanted to take advantage of me because I am nice and responsive. Now her scapegoat (me) is no longer available!

Technical to me means something totally different. To me technical is understanding technology and how it works. To me technical is solving complicated technical problems from years of experience and practice. To me technical is trying to figure out bugs, and quickly solving them in order for someone else to continue on using the technical product. That’s it!

You see, this is life. The majority of people who have a job are incompetent fools. Or they are people who only know how to do one thing, and do not ever want to learn or refuse to learn anything new. They are stationary in their fields, and to them change is a big stumbling block to their life! They hate it. They don’t want to do it, and they argue any way they can to not have to do it.

Unfortunately, if you are not ready for what will happen next week, then yesterday seems like last year in this rapidly moving world.

Blah Blah, Categorize this!, Idiots, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!

I didn’t complain at work. I didn’t do anything. People observe and see that I am getting beyond stressed. The company is growing so fast, and there are only two programmers, me and another guy. Not only that, somehow when I started this job, I automatically was thought of as the Technical Customer Support by computer illiterate women without the bosses knowledge.

Did I go to school to become a technical support? Did I even accept this job as a technical support to customers and illiterate computer women at work? No. They just kept piling the work on me and make me do it because I was the only one responsive. I was polite and I never said no. That’s my problem, I don’t tell people to back off because I have more important things to get done.

So today, we finally had the “meeting.” Oh, some old bitchy women were not happy with the decision. The bosses said, “Mona is no longer doing technical support at all unless it is critical.” In my head I was like YES! God answered my prayers and I am back to doing what I was hired to do. You guys should have seen me yesterday at work. Oh my Lord! My blood pressure was up the roof. I got a very bad migraine and I couldn’t see anymore. I could feel my hair turning gray from all the stress. I was about to explode.

Later in the meeting, one of the bosses said, “The problem is that you guys are taking advantage of Mona because she is PLEASANT and always says YES! She is very polite.”

See people! This is me in real life. I am very quite. I never say no and very nice to everyone. You guys should see me on the phone. The customers bitch at the women at work with their problems, but once they give up and tell me to talk to them instead, then the customers have a totally different tone. The customers love me and always say before they say good bye, “Thanks Doll!” Or they say, “Your amazing and that was so easy!” Or they say, “You are peach!”

I could be the customer support and nice to people all the time, and I am very successful at it, but I am a programmer. I like to think and problem solve.

Back to normal.. for now! However, the bosses will be away for a week.. I am scared!

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, Thank you, They said what?, Whatever!

I don’t care about nasty emails or nasty comments. I am immune to them and I don’t care who wrote them. I placed a big bold message on my contact page a long time ago that says that if you insult me, then I will publicly display it. If you posted the wrong email address, then you have wasted my time. Can you imagine if someone did both? It is like a hit and run situation thinking that they will never get caught.

A lot of people think outside of the box, which is great, and they pointed out different possibilities from the previous post. That is fine, except you guys missed the bigger picture. I do not purposely provoke people to reach this level of personal insults. I don’t do it to get attention. Some said that I don’t deserve it. Most people judge me from one post, and I got used to it. People cannot accept the difference, and I am very different.

You guys think I just get nasty emails or horrible comments? Think again. Many websites and forums discuss my “teenage immature writing style” by emphasizing the very old posts that caused and still causing a commotion. I just write this way. I don’t think hard and try to come up with sophisticated attention grabbing posts. That is never my intention when I write. I just write what is on my mind, and my mind is an infinite sized mass of ideas.

Let’s think outside the box for a bit and discuss an important issue. You see, many people think when I write about Canada, that I hate being an Arab and forgot my roots. If I write about being an Arab and loving it, then people think I don’t appreciate the land that I live in now with the “better” life, and I have to thank God because many people back home don’t have food and water. There is no happy medium. No one is ever satisfied with my way of thinking or living.

I discussed a very important subject with my mother yesterday. I asked her, “Why are Arabs back home in the Arab world have serious dislike to Arabs living here?” She said, “They are just jealous and resentful of the Arabs here. The moment they get a Visa or are accepted for immigration, they will leave everything behind such as: family, friends, and loved ones without hesitating to look back. It’s the land of opportunity and it is worth it! Some of us wish to go back home and live there, but we were kicked out and told to leave our homes. It’s not like we had a choice to be here. We are lucky someone accepted us to live a peaceful life with human rights.”

While I was snooping the internet searching for the essence of my Rebellious name online, all I found was mostly negative feedback from Arabs back home toward me. They hate my site. They call me names. They ridicule me and make an instant judgment that I live in USA and that’s why my thought process is like “this.” Not like there is no other Westernized country in the world that speaks English other than USA. No no.. Auto-Arab-Judgment. Speaks fluent English: USA. Has absurd but truthful ideas: westernized Arab in USA. Totally unashamed to speak the truth: totally USA.

I learned to accept the difference and move on, why didn’t you?

Blah Blah, Culture, Idiots, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!