Some people continue wanting to get in touch with me.

Some people keep sending me SMS thinking, “oh, things are normal again. Been a few days, and she must have forgotten.”

Some people have no idea that I am serious, very revengeful and I would rather be left alone.

I really like being left alone. I don’t want to talk to people, or know their stories, or fill my brain with too many thoughts about someone else and forget me.

Can people leave me alone and let me concentrate on my life?

I am a bad friend and should never have friends.

I am a bad listener.

I am just a bad person who needs to be left alone and forgotten about.

I want my space.

I want to re-evalaute everything about me.

I want to find out my mistakes.

I want to correct my life.

I do not give a crap who reads my blog and what they think of me after so many years.

I just want to be left alone for a very long time till this phase ends.

Is that too much to ask?

Angry, Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, Thank you, They said what?, Whatever!

I paid lots of money for the first course for my professional certification. Now, I have to pay lots of money for two books. A course with two required books? Now you know that there is going to be serious no time for 12 weeks! Where is the justice!!? No wonder less and less people wanting higher education. They can’t afford it!

I am stuck! I need books! Argh!! I am settling for Amazon books, and try to get them at least 50% off but used. I am still a week early, but I need that long or even more for shipping!

The injustice! Words! Why do I need to pay that much for words!

Edumacation costs lots of money, but the results are pure amazing! Don’t you agree?

Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!

This is part five and the final one of the year end manifestation of the life of my blog.

The Questions

Q1. “What have you learned this year Mona?” several people have asked me.

Q2. “What are you planning for next year Mona?” several people have asked me.

Q3. “What is that change you thinking about next year Mona?” several people have asked me.

I am going to answer all those questions later in this post, but I want to talk about something a little bit more serious. It is more of an advice to the younger Arab generation, and even young adult minds that are still exploring life. You see, the world is changing dramatically, and an entire culture is more interested in money, silly artificial things, living life in an non-progressive way, being overly narcissistic about nothing, and gossip endlessly to ruin someone else’s life. Don’t deny it and tell me that I am wrong. You know I am not making this up, and it hurts you that this is the case.

I feel sorry for my culture. I wish all of them can just look at themselves in the mirror and say, “I want to change for the good of my people.”

It’s funny, but Arabs rise in joyful uproar when they hear that an Arab did something great in the world and gone down in history. If they are so proud of one person’s achievement out of a million, then why can’t they teach the new generation to achieve such high goals in life?

My suggestion for every Arab out there reading this blog post to think hard. To think really hard inside of you and say, “I can be better than everyone else! I was not born to do nothing in life. I can do something recognizable and magnificent too!”

Mona’s 2010 Resolution

Due to unruly circumstances the past week, I began my resolution a bit earlier. You see, I am glad 2009 is ending. I have never hated a year in this decade as I did this year. I changed. I am admitting it. I changed because it was about time to. I didn’t realize that I was, but life slaps you in the face so hard, that you have to. You have to weed out everything in your life that is causing you grief. You have to only think of your self. Nothing is worth it.

The Answers

So, if I had to answer the questions above I would say,

A1. Majority of people are selfish pieces of shit that forget everything that had any meaning, and forget that you ever existed. Also, people only want to use you so they can excel in life.

A2. I have many plans. My first plan is that I am going to continue my education and get some high end management and business certifications. If all goes well, I should be done in a couple of years and would inshallah possess in my hands something really powerful. Afterward, if things go really well, I will be enhancing my career and moving on to bigger and better things.

A3. I want to change who I am. I learned so much in the past decade, that when I look back, I am still dumbfounded that I have survived it. So, if I wanted to continue this change, I would try to see what other talents I have. What else am I capable of achieving in this life? I am not going to stop or ever plan to. I want to be something in life, and I want it big. I know I am smart, patient, and ready for the challenges. So I can do it.

Moreover, my real resolution for 2010 is really this,

To not give two shits about anyone anymore. I want to show my true colours. Also, I want to be more blunt, and not give two shits about anything. I want to be more heartless and not fall into anyone’s foolish games. I have no reason to trust anyone anymore. Almost everyone I have met is a fake inconsiderate piece of shit, and they live in denial and too afraid to show their true colours. However, people like me will find out. Even if it means to use ruthless unethical maneuvers to find the truth.

Happy 2010! You all deserve happiness if you really wanted to.

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, Thank you, They said what?, Whatever!

This is part three of the year end manifestation of the life of my blog.

My blog this year won so many awards, that I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count them! NOT!! (Didn’t I sound cheesy and dorky like the rest of the bloggers out there?) But yes, my blog won a lot of invisible mind boggling awards. I won people’s readerships. That’s the biggest award I can get as a blogger. I don’t care about best blog, or best writer, or best anything. Who cares? It’s like winning a virtual banner to advertise someone else’s bright idea that started the campaign.

Really, if the prize was money based, then people will be all over it! I would be so all over it!

So, I am gonna list the top blog posts this year by comments, my favorites, and ones that I should have never published, but found their way online cause of my insomnia or excessive amounts of coffee!

Top Blog Posts 2009 | Comments & Reactions

1. April 28, 2009 | It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a conspiracy theory!
2. June 7, 2009 | The Arab Blogorette
3. June 16, 2009 | I think it is time for change!
4. August 25, 2009 | Why are Muslims turning Atheists?
5. August 30, 2009 | Analysis: It is much harder to get rid of her
6. September 7, 2009 | Arabs marrying non-Arabs
7. September 18, 2009 | Window shopping for a bride
8. October 27, 2009 | Symbols of being different

Top Blog Posts 2009 | Monaism & Love

1. January 15, 2009 | Are good people always the victims of life?
2. March 31, 2009 | How accurate is this?
3. April 20, 2009 | Airports think I am a perv!
4. May 21, 2009 | A way to relieve stress
5. July 15, 2009 | Teaching a child the basics of the internet world
6. September 6, 2009 | No Comment
7. September 24, 2009 | I am sick and tired of looking for work!!! NO MORE!
8. December 4, 2009 | The typicals
9. December 26, 2009 | I am the master of my choices

Top Blog Pots 2009 | Those That Should Have Never Been

1. January 28, 2009 | The blogging world is run by monkeys
2. May 4, 2009 | I thought I held the title of taking things too seriously
3. June 20, 2009 | The media has been following me for over two decades
4. September 26, 2009 | I don’t like talking about sex in public

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After 4 years of complaining and releasing all that built up anger on this blog, I discovered that it was all in my head. In reality, I am not like this. I swear to God, I am no where close to what I write on here. I write here the afterthoughts that resulted in anger from the life that I am living, and from the people I interact with every day.

In reality, I will ignore you. If you did something that I did not like, or I feel that things need to end so no one will get hurt, then I will just ignore you. That’s how I solve the problems, instead of being hated as a person for the things that I say. I hate hurting people, because people have hurted me enough in the past by the stupid things they did or said.

I don’t like talking to you about a deep personal problem. I don’t like to tell you there is a problem, because then people think I whine or complain too much. Hence, I made this blog instead. Why risk it in real life? This is just a blog.

I don’t like talking about people behind their backs, because honestly, I don’t gain anything that way. I don’t like to spread crap about people. That’s horrible and hurtful. I am not like that.

Why am I mentioning all this?

You see, I discovered all this lately, and if you have been reading my Twitters @rebelliousgirl and blog, then you would have noticed my utter dissatisfaction with some people. I then realized why so many people over the past 4 years kept telling me, “You are not rebellious.” I agree, I am not rebellious in the sense that you are thinking. I am rebellious in speaking out about problems and ideas that affect a generation of people. That’s why I kept up the name Rebellious.

However, in real life, I am too quiet, super nice, very respectful to others, and a child at heart. That’s really me, and that’s why I get treated like I am nothing. It’s ok, one day, and I repeatedly keep telling my self this, one day I will show them. I will show the entire world that I am just a cub that has not fully grown yet to be a lion. It’s funny saying that at my age, but really, it takes time to reach your real goals.

I kept mentioning this to everyone: that if you try to be something big so fast, you will fall. You will fall faster than the way you went up. When I see you down there, I will just look at you and not say a thing.

Intelligence

I will tell you how many stupid, ignorant, and bull headed people I met in my life. Ok, fine. Let’s reverse that, and I will tell you how many smart people I met in my life. Two or three only. I am not joking. I am talking here about intelligence. Are you smart? Do you think for yourself? Are you willing to go that extra mile to know something instead of wasting someone else’s time by asking them constantly? Do you know what’s going on in the world? Do you know what’s going on outside of your community, outside of your city, outside of your country? Do you know anything?

And when you can’t find the answer, or you don’t bother to understand or cope with the problem, you put all your anger on someone else. It’s easier that way. Isn’t it?

Amusingly, intelligent people hire those fools. They are called followers, and do a good job at:

1. Bitching.
2. Thinking they are all that.
3. Getting frustrated easily and getting extremely angry.
4. Having a horrible family life, most are divorced, and can’t contain their own children, which leads to point 5.
5. Not being able to distinguish where they are at. That being on a job or still at home trying to contain those children.
6. Staying in one spot all their life. They don’t progress at all in life.

Don’t think I am being mean here. I am not. I will tell you this honestly. My problem is that I am far too intelligent. My intelligence lead me to be patient, understanding, argumentative, and not be easily convinced. I think too much. Intelligent people don’t stop thinking. They wonder, discover, and try to understand. Many people are not like this. I was surprised.  People are afraid to get out of their comfort zone. They are scared shitless and get angry when they don’t understand. When you try to explain, they get more angry and think you are speaking above them.

How did they manage to survive in such a world? Or are they intelligently capable of being just a follower? Are those the people that have and keep jobs? I think so. Because honestly, based on my hopes and dreams for the future, those people will make my life a lot easier. Jesus Christ! I never seen such foolish people. They are good at one thing, sort of, but that’s enough for me! Shit if I cared if they know or can do anything else. That’s my job, and I will progress in life. They won’t, and they will never get in my way, ever!

Being a very patient person really comes from your exceptional intelligence. Remember that!

Angry, Idiots, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!