As we grow up, we always have this fear of one day being alone. However, it is better to be alone sometimes to understand our selves. To sit back and think of what we really want of life. So far, I don’t know what I want. I thought about it, and thought about it, and the only thing that came to mind how peaceful it was to not see anyone or talk to anyone the past couple of days.

I felt at peace and harmony. No one to bug me, constantly mock me, or ridicule me. People don’t realize their actions or what they do to other people and how they hurt them. In the end, who is there to judge them? People don’t care.

No one, and honestly, no one cares how I feel or what I have to say. It is better off if I just spent my time alone to reflect on the things I want in life. So far, I don’t know, and I feel stuck and trapped in a world I have no control over and just surrounded by people who don’t realize how lucky they are. In the end, I am the weak one. All I can do is hide and just sit by my self because there is nothing else to do.

I am just sick of people. No one likes me and they rather see my down fall and not care about how I feel. All they do is just sit there and watch.

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!

One thing about the world of technology that I am stuck in is the lack of girls in it. Not any girls, but Arab girls. Why aren’t there many Arab girl programmers or any computer related position where you see an Arab girl holding it. How about IT managers? Team Leaders? Anything?

The only thing close to technology that I seen many Arab girls in is phone company support.

Where are you girls? Seriously. I would like to once see a famous piece of software package or anything that has an Arab women’s name on it. I am not saying there are absolutely none at all, but there aren’t many that are highly recognized. I say we Arab girls in technology should start a club to get support and recognition of our efforts.

Who is with me?

If I get enough support, I might start a real internet site for this to support Arab women in technology. What do you think?

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!

I woke up this morning with a really disturbing dream. I dreamt I was in a huge base with lots of military people and civilians. I was one of the commanders who helped civilians escape some type of robotic alien invasion. So one robot that was the size of a 10 story building came in. Everything was dark. So I assumed it was night time. The robot kept moving swiftly around shooting laser beams everywhere but couldn’t get through the highly defensive infrastructure and shield of our base.

So eventually, we used all our equipment and blasted the sucker out. We destroyed it completely.

Everyone seemed to be relieved, but we were still on alert for anything strange happening.

Then out of no where, the sky became so dark, and a bright red symbol appeared in the sky. I think I remember it had a picture of a hawk or eagle. It was some bird like symbol. Then the sirens in our base were on full blast and 4 robots came out of the sky and zoomed to the base. All we did was hide a 100 feet under ground. Maybe more. It seemed so far down. Everyone was hiding because the robots were able to go through the shield of the base.

I then woke up.

I hate dreams because I always dream of bazaar things like that. I either watch too many science fiction movies, or I need to stop sleeping upside down on my bed. I always sleep on the opposite edge. And when I do, I have bad or strange dreams. I never learn do I?

So did I dream of the war that will end all wars?

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, Whatever!

One thing I noticed about my visitors how is they really remember and use every written word on my site against me when they feel it is a good thing to bring up in an argument. My lovely visitors, if you think it will make me feel bad or you think it is your way of feeling some weird form of satisfaction to insult me, then you are wrong! Wrong, very wrong. I will just delete your comments or maybe block you if I felt it is a repetitive way of you communicating with me, and I will just laugh hysterically at your assumptions and silly accusations.

How many times do I have to explain that blogs don’t portray the person as a whole, but just a part of them they want to share with others. Some days I am moody, sad, depressed, angry, but that’s the reason people come back to my site. It is amusing and it is pretty much why I made this blog. I wanted to find a place to express that part of me that I find annoying and I want to just get all these thoughts out of my head.

Honestly, blogging is a therapy tool if you want it to be, and the audience are free therapists.

However, some bloggers don’t appreciate constant criticism and trash talk insulting them. It is not funny and honestly, this site of mine is not a place for others to criticize me in. I made this blog so I can talk about the things I don’t like about life that happen to me and the way sometimes society works. Yes, I don’t like people I don’t know thinking they can say whatever they want. I have the right to remove anything I don’t like. You can call me a bitch or whatever. It doesn’t matter to me.

I find things odd and strange in my point of view, and I like to rant about it. That’s all.

So, don’t be a critic unless you want to share in my criticism of something. However, if you start pointing a finger towards me and accusing me of nonsense and taking my daily writing into new dimensions and analyzing it your own bizzar way,  then I will just do the simple act of deleting or blocking. Blogging is not supposed to be a headache, but a hobby and a past time for me to enjoy.

Blah Blah, Ranting as usual!, Whatever!

I am not the type of blogger who cares much about the number of visitors I get or the money the advertisement on the side bar is getting me. It is not much, and I use it to cover monthly hosting costs and yearly domain name costs. Simple as that. That’s why most bloggers have these ads.

However, the internet has become a landfill of make money online sites. Almost every other blog I blog hop to is like that. How to make money! Get a real job and then you will be making real money! Believe me, it is not a get quick rich scheme. There are only a handful of bloggers who have succeeded in it. Blogging will not make you money. It will if you are selling something. Yet, what can you sell on a blog? I thought of many things to sell. The only thing I came up with is t-shirts. Who would buy a t-shirt saying “Rebellious Arab Blogger?” Yah, I can see a bunch of problems right there. Just make sure you wear it under your other shirt and not in front of people walking down the street. Make sure it is not even in your suitcase before boarding the plane.

So t-shirts would have been great easy money. But nah.. too many headaches.

Then, I get people asking me to buy advertisement space on my site. I am like wicked. I don’t mind that. However, they ask, but never reply back to me with an approval or action to continue on with the idea. Just ask. Ok fine. Whatever!

Then people ask me to make templates for their blogs or any graphical work to help them out and ask me for a quote. How can I give anyone a quote if they won’t give me the details of what they want? Where you just asking out of curiosity thinking I will give you a cheap quote compared to other sites that will do it for $800+. Hmm, no. I am a professional who does this for a living. I take pride in my work. The more you pay me, the more your site will be kick ass and stands out for everyone to notice!

So how can you make real money blogging?

You can’t. You really can’t quit your day job doing this. I completely disagree with others who promote such a thing. The only way to do it, is not only being excellent in expressing your self and ideas, but to offer a service or a way to advertise someone else’s site in return.

Should I start charging people for advertising on my site to make a few bucks? Nop.

People lost the whole meaning of what it is to be a blogger. Why did blogging even become so popular the past 4 or 5 years? Simple. People wanted a personal site to express them selves, and it is pre-coded and a well developed piece of free software that anyone can use, and also to see how others in the world react to what they say. It is more of a curiosity of what others think of them. That’s all.

However, I think it is pretty cool that businesses and especially software development sites and game design sites have their own blogs. They update their loyal customers with the latest news about their products and how things are going. That’s an amazing thing for companies to have on their sites. Also, actors and other celebrities are using blogs to keep their fans up to date with concerts, new work, and even some simple thoughts they are having. These people are utilizing the advantage of having a blog or an online journal as others call it.

So, for those people who want to start a blog, don’t think a blog will be the ultimate and new age way to make money online. I refuse to believe it. Not with a bunch of daily yapping. I am more grateful to have an audience who will read about my daily thoughts. That’s the main objective that every blogger should have when they start blogging. Also, the best part about blogging is when people subscribe to your RSS feeds and come back daily to check it out. That’s the ultimate joy that every blogger should really want in the end of the day. Having the fans!

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!