My sister told me today, “Mona, you are evil and mean!” I agree with her and it brings me to a bigger point! Oh points.. some are small, some are tiny, some are huge and bold! Anyways, to the main point: sorry to so and so who sent me a message on Facebook the past weekend. When I read your message I thought, “ok, I am not that pretty or my beauty is so extravagant or so precious. Therefore, I don’t give a crap who sees me.”

I am assuming this person was going through my Twitpic album and read the comments some dumb ass lonely guys wrote. What will happen if she read all the comments in my blog? My blog is a SIN! Anyways, I got tired of deleting comments. What am I to do? Hide behind an internet veil? I am human. I want people to see who I am. It’s like going to work. Is a woman not allowed to go to work? Men are not allowed to see her? It’s a sin to show your beauty?

By the way, we are all beautiful people, because God created us that way. So those extreme Muslims that think I am a walking sin, then you are openly telling me that being a woman is a sin. You are a walking sin too! Cover up! Cause dammit.. I don’t wear a veil and tight ass clothes and heavy makeup walking down the street. I rather sin completely! I don’t do it in parts like some people!

This is what SHE said,

stop showing ur ebeauty ya helwa!!! its haram habibti u take soo many pics no one eneds to see a womens’s beauty and ur comments by those men are haram also wat they say is dsgusting

You can tell she is not from my side of the sinful world.

Future Goal

I want to do this one thing one day. I want to go around other people’s blogs and tell them that they are wrong! What they are writing, presenting, or discussing on their blogs is wrong! I feel that I am obligated to tell other Arab bloggers they are wrong! Wow! That would relieve a lot of stress to tell you the truth. I might end up being obnoxious and liking it!

If you hate me or think I am a walking sin, then bravo, bravo. You have accomplished a great deal in life by pointing the obvious. Now go back to watching your music videos and obsessing over celebrities’ beauty and how to make your self look like one, so other Muslim/Arab girls envy you.

One person last week told me that they would really appreciate a true friendship with me and only read my blog if it wasn’t hiding behind a pseudonym AND is more real.

Another person told me that I need to post more pictures of my self, because they can’t believe that I don’t look like a nerd. They need more proof.

A person emailed me once asking me why I don’t talk more about politics.

One girl asked me why I don’t discuss the real problems that Arab girls suffer daily from their families and culture.

This guy yesterday insulted me and told me that I am a horrible person hiding behind a wicked lying mask.

Lots of Arabs told me that I am the worst person to represent Arabs.

Lots of Arabs told me that because I live in the western world, that I am westernized and I should never talk about Arabs.

Religious fanatics told me that being rebellious is a sin.

Many people write me telling me that I am rebellious against religion, and I am spreading sinful thoughts and telling girls to not wear hijab.

Then Mais, the most avid reader of my blog and knows what I am really about, told me this, “… Youre very clever but you expect simple minded people to understand you?! Seriously, no wonder youre getting stressed!”

I Owe People My Thoughts

I feel like I owe the majority of people something, and that something being a closed minded opinion about everything. I will tell you guys something, I don’t go around advertising this blog daily on other blogs. I was really pushing it the first 1.5 years, but then I stopped. I don’t comment at all on any blog, which makes me a horrible social blogger, but I don’t want to advertise my self. (I do read some blogs, but only a handful.)

Do you guys understand my point? I don’t go after you to tell you to read what I write. I don’t go advertise it to drive traffic to my site. I don’t do anything. I secluded my self from the world; yet YOU search for me and read it. You subscribe to keep up. You care enough to find any way possible to read what I write, because you know deep down inside that there is something about me that grabs your attention and makes you think. You care enough about the words that I write here.

I don’t owe you anything and you don’t owe me anything. However, those people that think that I do have always made me wonder why.

Then I understood why…

One person who was extremely angry with something I have written the other day told me this, “I hate what you write most of the time, but you have to be careful, your website is popular and many people are getting affected by it.”

So am I supposed to feel guilty now?

Searching for a Common Thought

Early this evening, I decided to go search for various Arab blogs. I wanted to read what personal bloggers have been writing and see what I am missing. I couldn’t read beyond a paragraph in most blogs. Then I got frustrated and stopped reading any blog. Most of the blogs that I read were talking about some event that they have attended that was “fun.” Pictures of food from the best restaurant ever. Or they displayed pictures of their latest shopping endeavor or overly expensive gadgets that they have bought. Or some tried to talk about how their kids threw up on the carpet and they spent the afternoon cleaning.

Am I supposed to discuss that? Will that make me a better blogger?

Fine, how about this for a change:

I cooked today. I did my project management homework. I didn’t feel like cleaning anything, and oh, to top it off, I also went to the bathroom to empty out all that well digested food.

Shoot me now.

Oh, by the way, since you think that I owe you something every time you read my blog with such eagerness, how about you do the same and write something worth a damn on your blogs from now on, and think beyond your nostrils for a change!

Words of Wisdom

I never give them hell. I just tell the truth, and they think it is hell.
-Harry S. Truman

Ranting about Arabs time!

One of the biggest problems with the Arab mentality is accepting different opinions and lifestyles. I appreciate the fact that Arabs like to stay true to who they are, whatever they are, but seriously, do we need to make our one-sided “traditional” life decisions the only plausible ones that everyone has to follow?

Let me elaborate my point more clearly here. Arabs feel superior to other Arabs. Arabs feel superior to other cultures. Arabs believe that their lifestyle choices are the “clean” or “most ethical” ones. Why?

Jealousy

I think I discussed this a lot on my blog, but I have to keep reminding everyone that jealousy is a human characteristic. Yes, it is a characteristic that we CAN control. We can be jealous of the positives that other people possesses. That I believe will drive us to improve ourselves. However, jealousy that results in envy, negative emotions, and spite is not the healthy characteristic. Unfortunately, and yes, I will say it for the millionth time, negative jealousy is the number one cause of backward mentality.

Differences

The only successful people I ever met in my life are the ones that were willing to accept the difference. They accepted differences of ethnicity. They accepted differences in mentality. They accepted differences in life. They accepted abrupt changes in the world. They learned to cope with the what life is really about. Once they accepted the difference, their minds opened and accepted endless possibilities. Life no longer seemed black and white, and they ended up leaders in a gray but open playground.

Role Models

The problem with the Arab culture is the lack of role models. There isn’t a group of people that raise their hands and say, “I want to be a better person. I want to make a difference. I want to use my God given talents to the best of my abilities and become something memorable. I want to help others become better people too.” I never heard of role models. I don’t even know if there is such a phrase in the Arabic language. They only think of the “I”, and not the “We.”

Thinking

Thinking is a gift from God. It is our duty as human beings to think. God differentiated us from animals by this gift. We have to use it. We have to think. If I really want to get my point across, I have to discuss religion. Arab culture justifies everything based on religion. Even though only 80% of Arabs are Muslims, and I will not generalize about that fact, but religion has to be separated completely from the culture. The culture ruined the religion. Yes, it did. Islam is so much more, and if it is truly understood and followed at its simplicity, then none of this nonsense that Arabs come up with that justify their behavior based on religion would ever exist.

Since Arabs love to justify their Arabized actions based on religion, then why are women still treated as second class citizens? God created us as equals, but I don’t see it being applied in the Arab culture.

Why is free thinking outside the “religious” doctrines forbidden?

Why aren’t women allowed to be educated at a higher level, and even most to even be literate? Isn’t the first thing that a true Muslim should do is read? Why is man allowed to read, and women can’t? Why is man allowed to think, and women can’t?

Why am I better than you?

Finally, I will get the real point. Arabs love to directly show their superiority complex to other Arabs. If your Arab neighbor bought a gorgeous new pair of shoes, then you will bluntly tell them, “Mine are better and more expensive.” If your Arab neighbor went to a doctor, then you would tell them, “My doctor is smarter and better than yours and that’s why you are always sick.” If your Arab neighbor bought a new house, then you will tell them, “Where did you get the money? Who gave it to you to make such a purchase?”

Congratulations is a common and most used word in the Arab vocabulary, but it is always followed by the justification that I am still better than you, or how did you get that and who helped you? I wish sometimes they were really better, like evolving as a culture, not being classified as third world nations, and giving their citizens basic human rights.

I think too much, but I will never stop.

This morning, I received an email from Brian Heck’s mother that he passed away on December 30, 2009. He was a daily reader and commentor on my blog. He loved Arabs and Islam. I was even wondering yesterday why Brian has not been on my blog for a while. I never knew it was that reason.

I am still shocked! I went to his Facebook profile and saw the cause of his death, and I am still shocked of why he did it, but sometimes people with depressive symptoms can’t control their emotions, and evil just overrides their judgements. I just received back an answer form his mother and she said:

Brian was struggling with depression associated with a diagnosis of Bipolar disorder.  Brian did not like taking the medication due to the severe side effects. He became very depressed on Dec. 30th and ended his suffering by jumping off of an overpass.  Brian was diagnosed with this about 4 years ago and has struggled to remain focused.  He felt very deeply the pain and suffering in the world and it was a heavy burden for him. His goal in life was to teach English overseas and help people around the world, but he just could not get over his sadness and hurt for the people of the world. All who knew Brian were very shocked as he was a kind and gentle soul that laughed, helped friends and strangers with any need he could assist with. Do read the messages on his memorial page at www.MeM.com.

His mother sent me a link to his obituary. http://www.mem.com/ContentDisplay.aspx?ID=18319452 I am still in shock!

May he rest in peace.

Updated @ 6:30pm

This is the music he made in early 2008 called Rebellious Arab Girl, but I created the video and posted it in my account. So talented.

This is part three of the year end manifestation of the life of my blog.

My blog this year won so many awards, that I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count them! NOT!! (Didn’t I sound cheesy and dorky like the rest of the bloggers out there?) But yes, my blog won a lot of invisible mind boggling awards. I won people’s readerships. That’s the biggest award I can get as a blogger. I don’t care about best blog, or best writer, or best anything. Who cares? It’s like winning a virtual banner to advertise someone else’s bright idea that started the campaign.

Really, if the prize was money based, then people will be all over it! I would be so all over it!

So, I am gonna list the top blog posts this year by comments, my favorites, and ones that I should have never published, but found their way online cause of my insomnia or excessive amounts of coffee!

Top Blog Posts 2009 | Comments & Reactions

1. April 28, 2009 | It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a conspiracy theory!
2. June 7, 2009 | The Arab Blogorette
3. June 16, 2009 | I think it is time for change!
4. August 25, 2009 | Why are Muslims turning Atheists?
5. August 30, 2009 | Analysis: It is much harder to get rid of her
6. September 7, 2009 | Arabs marrying non-Arabs
7. September 18, 2009 | Window shopping for a bride
8. October 27, 2009 | Symbols of being different

Top Blog Posts 2009 | Monaism & Love

1. January 15, 2009 | Are good people always the victims of life?
2. March 31, 2009 | How accurate is this?
3. April 20, 2009 | Airports think I am a perv!
4. May 21, 2009 | A way to relieve stress
5. July 15, 2009 | Teaching a child the basics of the internet world
6. September 6, 2009 | No Comment
7. September 24, 2009 | I am sick and tired of looking for work!!! NO MORE!
8. December 4, 2009 | The typicals
9. December 26, 2009 | I am the master of my choices

Top Blog Pots 2009 | Those That Should Have Never Been

1. January 28, 2009 | The blogging world is run by monkeys
2. May 4, 2009 | I thought I held the title of taking things too seriously
3. June 20, 2009 | The media has been following me for over two decades
4. September 26, 2009 | I don’t like talking about sex in public

Ayee!! I almost forgot to wish Merry Christmas to my Christian friends. Arabs and non-Arabs! Happy holidays and I hope you had a fabulous day.

I know many Arab Eastern Orthodox Christians celebrate Christmas in January, but two holiday wishes are always great! Eh?

P.S. for those that have noticed the front page changes on my site, what do you think?

I always get numerous comments and emails from people saying, “Oh you are so brave, I couldn’t have a blog or say the things you say.” I always read them and laugh. To be honest, I just find it funny, because when I write on this site, I don’t do it because I am brave. I just don’t care or worry about who reads it. Even though there are some people that I know in real life that read this blog, I got nothing to hide or be ashamed of. If you agree or disagree, what do I gain? When you insult me, then I get mad; otherwise, I am always open for debates.

Also, I get people asking me how I do it? How do I write this way? I don’t know. I guess the older you get, the more expressive you become about the things you dislike. In my case, I dislike a lot of things, because I live between cultures. It’s not easy to live your life in the middle, and you can’t live your life one way or the other, because people around you will not accept or ever understand why you are like this.

Finding a happy medium is hard. It is really hard, and it is something I struggle with all the time.

For example, I don’t talk about my self much at work. If someone asks, then I answer, but I have no reason to talk about anything personal. Since it is Christmas season, I just say, “Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.” I don’t find it wrong to say that, but I have met some Arabs/Muslims that won’t even say it. Fine, whatever, you are not going to go to hell if you wish another religion to enjoy their holidays. You live around them, and you work with them, then have some respect, or they won’t respect your beliefs.

[Photo Source]

I wouldn’t call this brave, but the idea of finding a happy medium that will satisfy everyone and let you live a comfortable life is something you have to work harder at. Discussing it with others that live a similar life as you is even harder. It’s hard convincing people with a thought, but that is not the intention of my writing. I want you to think about the things that I write. Even if you disagree or agree the first time you read it, then it should make you end up thinking. It’s not nonsense that I write, but it is something real. Real is what sells. Remember that!

In conclusion, I love thought provoking ideas, and writing them out publicly for the entire world to see, and engaging in a debate about them is very satisfying. If you would like to classify this as brave, then I have more reason to continue on writing.

I am a stereotypical, hypocritical, overbearing religious child.

Does that make sense at all?

That’s a snippet of an email I got today from some chick who had a serious problem with me dissing slutty Arab girls. In reality, she had a problem with me having an opinion. I don’t understand this, if I talk about anything religious, then overly religious people send me hate mail and swear left and right at me. By the way, if you are so religious, then why the hell you go on the internet and throw derogatory statements at some anonymous girl from Canada? And if I write anything about the nastiness that some people do, I get hate mail from people that don’t like it, and call me religious or pretending to be one.

Seriously, I don’t get it, what is wrong with you people? You don’t like what I have to say, then go somewhere else that has some closed minded mass opinionated topics.

By the way, stick and stones may break my bones, but I still don’t give a shit!

[Photo Source]

What amazed me that someone called me a hypocritical overbearing religious child. Fine, call me overbearing, and call me a child. But religious and before that calling me hypocritical? Makes no sense, but I wouldn’t call my self religious at all. I call my self neutral. I am not a crazy religious fanatic or anything. At the same time, I am not anti-religious or “rebellious” against religion. However, how can you explain that to people that come to your site from another site or search engine, and then stay on your site for maximum 10 minutes, and formulate an end-all be-all opinion about you?

I know many bloggers out there that have the same problems as me. That’s why I am writing this post. This is what happens when you have a blog for so long. You can’t even protect what you have written anymore, and some topics are so old that you cannot remember what you wrote or why you wrote them. I disabled comments from posts over 7 days old, and have a re-captcha for protection against spam, but how can I protect or avoid those lurkers?

I have a new plan for the next year, and it will annoy the hell out of everyone, but you know what, in the end of the day, this blog is just an online diary of my self. It contains my opinions about life in general, and that’s it.

Finally, think of if this way: if I tell you that your shirt is ugly, then go ask a million other people if they think so to, but don’t take my word on it. It is just my stereotypical, hypocritical, and overbearing opinion of your hideous shirt.

After the events of the year 2001, and the way the world portrayed us as Arabs, the psychological well being of Arabs have been affected dramatically. When something negative is said to a person who happens to be of Arab descent, then the first thing they say, “Oh, they know we are Arab, that’s why they treat us badly and hate us!”

In reality, when a non-Arab communicates with us, 99% of the time they have no clue where we are from. We are mistaken to be anyone else but Arab. And those from other cultures are mistaken as us. It all depends on what we wear really. Which is usually an Islamic attire, and not really an Arab related one. However, for those of us Arabs here that wear nothing that distinguishes as from the rest, then the likelihood of anyone figuring out our real ethnicity is slim to none.

[Photo Source]

So, why do Arabs constantly blame everyone else?

Us Arabs like to justify everything. We have to have a reason of why someone treated us like crap, or not giving us the level of utter respect that we deserve. Something in our heads keeps telling us that we are better than everyone else, and we must be treated the best way possible. Unfortunately, when you live in such a multicultural land, you are just like everyone else. Unless you are some famous Hollywood actor walking in the streets, then most likely, no one gives two shits about you.

So why am I mentioning all this?

You see, my lovely mother that I adore dearly, is a big time social butterfly. She knows people. A lot of people. And 99% of those people are Arab. So she keeps telling me random shit about what they say. The moment I hear it, and her believing it, makes me want to scream. My mother thinks that Arabs in this city, especially the older generation, gets treated badly or not given the proper customer care in anything, because they are Arab.

[Photo Source]

How did they know anyways they were Arab?

The moment she says that, I say, “Everyone treats everyone badly. You should see the customer service horror stories I read on the internet from “Non-Arabs!” Being an Arab has nothing to do with it. Why do you Arabs keep thinking that if the world doesn’t treat you well, then they are against you because you are an Arab!?”

Then my mom screams at me and tells me, “Aren’t you ARAB?”

When the conversation reaches that level, I just get up and leave. I don’t know why parents have to say that. We have no shame of being Arabs. Our generation has no shame with our identity and roots. We just disagree with a lot of things that you say and think. Things changed drastically. We are just like everyone else. If you believe you are different, walk the streets like you are an alien, then most likely you will unconsciously think that.

You define your roots. Your roots don’t define you.

Tomorrow is Eid El-Adha! Yaaay! So Eid Mubarak to all my Muslim broz and sistas! Keep it real to the big guy up there!

Also, Happy Thanksgiving to my biggest website watchers and lovely peeps, the Americanos!

Finally, happy international Rebellious Arab Girl Day. In reality, it should be every day, but I don’t want to seem too greedy here. I am gonna call up Hallmark so they can consider it, and add it to their never ending list of celebrations that they have.

[Photo Source]

Oh, for those that are wondering what Rebellious Arab Girl Day is going to be about, then I will make it plain and simple:

Rebellious Arab Girl Day,

The day of honesty,

The day of truth,

The day when you go up to that shit head person that has been pissing off, and tell them that they are wrong and they suck!

Isn’t that a lovely celebration?