This morning, I received an email from Brian Heck’s mother that he passed away on December 30, 2009. He was a daily reader and commentor on my blog. He loved Arabs and Islam. I was even wondering yesterday why Brian has not been on my blog for a while. I never knew it was that reason.

I never met Brian, but he was a kind person. He would always communicate with me via my blog and email, and send me custom music that he created just for me to listen to and share with the world.

I am still shocked! I went to his Facebook profile and saw the cause of his death, and I am still shocked of why he did it, but sometimes people with depressive symptoms can’t control their emotions, and evil just overrides their judgements. I just received back an answer form his mother and she said:

Brian was struggling with depression associated with a diagnosis of Bipolar disorder.  Brian did not like taking the medication due to the severe side effects. He became very depressed on Dec. 30th and ended his suffering by jumping off of an overpass.  Brian was diagnosed with this about 4 years ago and has struggled to remain focused.  He felt very deeply the pain and suffering in the world and it was a heavy burden for him. His goal in life was to teach English overseas and help people around the world, but he just could not get over his sadness and hurt for the people of the world. All who knew Brian were very shocked as he was a kind and gentle soul that laughed, helped friends and strangers with any need he could assist with. Do read the messages on his memorial page at www.MeM.com.

His mother sent me a link to his obituary. http://www.mem.com/ContentDisplay.aspx?ID=18319452 I am still in shock!

May he rest in peace.

Updated @ 6:30pm

This is the music he made in early 2008 called Rebellious Arab Girl, but I created the video and posted it in my account. So talented.

Culture, Depressed, Religion

This is part three of the year end manifestation of the life of my blog.

My blog this year won so many awards, that I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count them! NOT!! (Didn’t I sound cheesy and dorky like the rest of the bloggers out there?) But yes, my blog won a lot of invisible mind boggling awards. I won people’s readerships. That’s the biggest award I can get as a blogger. I don’t care about best blog, or best writer, or best anything. Who cares? It’s like winning a virtual banner to advertise someone else’s bright idea that started the campaign.

Really, if the prize was money based, then people will be all over it! I would be so all over it!

So, I am gonna list the top blog posts this year by comments, my favorites, and ones that I should have never published, but found their way online cause of my insomnia or excessive amounts of coffee!

Top Blog Posts 2009 | Comments & Reactions

1. April 28, 2009 | It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a conspiracy theory!
2. June 7, 2009 | The Arab Blogorette
3. June 16, 2009 | I think it is time for change!
4. August 25, 2009 | Why are Muslims turning Atheists?
5. August 30, 2009 | Analysis: It is much harder to get rid of her
6. September 7, 2009 | Arabs marrying non-Arabs
7. September 18, 2009 | Window shopping for a bride
8. October 27, 2009 | Symbols of being different

Top Blog Posts 2009 | Monaism & Love

1. January 15, 2009 | Are good people always the victims of life?
2. March 31, 2009 | How accurate is this?
3. April 20, 2009 | Airports think I am a perv!
4. May 21, 2009 | A way to relieve stress
5. July 15, 2009 | Teaching a child the basics of the internet world
6. September 6, 2009 | No Comment
7. September 24, 2009 | I am sick and tired of looking for work!!! NO MORE!
8. December 4, 2009 | The typicals
9. December 26, 2009 | I am the master of my choices

Top Blog Pots 2009 | Those That Should Have Never Been

1. January 28, 2009 | The blogging world is run by monkeys
2. May 4, 2009 | I thought I held the title of taking things too seriously
3. June 20, 2009 | The media has been following me for over two decades
4. September 26, 2009 | I don’t like talking about sex in public

Advertising, Advice, Angry, Blah Blah, Blog Review, Categorize this!, Confused, Contest, Culture, Depressed, Facebook, Funny, Geeky, Guest Post, Happy, Idiots, Interview, My taste of Music, Palestine, Programming, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, Recipes/Food, Religion, Sleepy Post, Squibby, Tagged, Thank you, They said what?, Travel, Tweets, Video, Videocast, Visitor Taking Over, Whatever!

Ayee!! I almost forgot to wish Merry Christmas to my Christian friends. Arabs and non-Arabs! Happy holidays and I hope you had a fabulous day.

I know many Arab Eastern Orthodox Christians celebrate Christmas in January, but two holiday wishes are always great! Eh?

P.S. for those that have noticed the front page changes on my site, what do you think?

Blah Blah, Happy, Religion, They said what?, Whatever!

I always get numerous comments and emails from people saying, “Oh you are so brave, I couldn’t have a blog or say the things you say.” I always read them and laugh. To be honest, I just find it funny, because when I write on this site, I don’t do it because I am brave. I just don’t care or worry about who reads it. Even though there are some people that I know in real life that read this blog, I got nothing to hide or be ashamed of. If you agree or disagree, what do I gain? When you insult me, then I get mad; otherwise, I am always open for debates.

Also, I get people asking me how I do it? How do I write this way? I don’t know. I guess the older you get, the more expressive you become about the things you dislike. In my case, I dislike a lot of things, because I live between cultures. It’s not easy to live your life in the middle, and you can’t live your life one way or the other, because people around you will not accept or ever understand why you are like this.

Finding a happy medium is hard. It is really hard, and it is something I struggle with all the time.

For example, I don’t talk about my self much at work. If someone asks, then I answer, but I have no reason to talk about anything personal. Since it is Christmas season, I just say, “Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.” I don’t find it wrong to say that, but I have met some Arabs/Muslims that won’t even say it. Fine, whatever, you are not going to go to hell if you wish another religion to enjoy their holidays. You live around them, and you work with them, then have some respect, or they won’t respect your beliefs.

[Photo Source]

I wouldn’t call this brave, but the idea of finding a happy medium that will satisfy everyone and let you live a comfortable life is something you have to work harder at. Discussing it with others that live a similar life as you is even harder. It’s hard convincing people with a thought, but that is not the intention of my writing. I want you to think about the things that I write. Even if you disagree or agree the first time you read it, then it should make you end up thinking. It’s not nonsense that I write, but it is something real. Real is what sells. Remember that!

In conclusion, I love thought provoking ideas, and writing them out publicly for the entire world to see, and engaging in a debate about them is very satisfying. If you would like to classify this as brave, then I have more reason to continue on writing.

Culture, Random Thoughts, Religion, Thank you, They said what?, Whatever!

I am a stereotypical, hypocritical, overbearing religious child.

Does that make sense at all?

That’s a snippet of an email I got today from some chick who had a serious problem with me dissing slutty Arab girls. In reality, she had a problem with me having an opinion. I don’t understand this, if I talk about anything religious, then overly religious people send me hate mail and swear left and right at me. By the way, if you are so religious, then why the hell you go on the internet and throw derogatory statements at some anonymous girl from Canada? And if I write anything about the nastiness that some people do, I get hate mail from people that don’t like it, and call me religious or pretending to be one.

Seriously, I don’t get it, what is wrong with you people? You don’t like what I have to say, then go somewhere else that has some closed minded mass opinionated topics.

By the way, stick and stones may break my bones, but I still don’t give a shit!

[Photo Source]

What amazed me that someone called me a hypocritical overbearing religious child. Fine, call me overbearing, and call me a child. But religious and before that calling me hypocritical? Makes no sense, but I wouldn’t call my self religious at all. I call my self neutral. I am not a crazy religious fanatic or anything. At the same time, I am not anti-religious or “rebellious” against religion. However, how can you explain that to people that come to your site from another site or search engine, and then stay on your site for maximum 10 minutes, and formulate an end-all be-all opinion about you?

I know many bloggers out there that have the same problems as me. That’s why I am writing this post. This is what happens when you have a blog for so long. You can’t even protect what you have written anymore, and some topics are so old that you cannot remember what you wrote or why you wrote them. I disabled comments from posts over 7 days old, and have a re-captcha for protection against spam, but how can I protect or avoid those lurkers?

I have a new plan for the next year, and it will annoy the hell out of everyone, but you know what, in the end of the day, this blog is just an online diary of my self. It contains my opinions about life in general, and that’s it.

Finally, think of if this way: if I tell you that your shirt is ugly, then go ask a million other people if they think so to, but don’t take my word on it. It is just my stereotypical, hypocritical, and overbearing opinion of your hideous shirt.

Angry, Blah Blah, Confused, Idiots, Ranting as usual!, Religion, They said what?, Whatever!