I used to be nice, care free, very open minded, love to talk to guys.. but now, I am totally the opposite and I am far too old to give a crap anymore. I am a bitter old woman! I am not even flattered by compliments. I think I lost that glowy happy feeling in my heart. I blame my culture. I also blame my self for being so gullible in the past.

I am happy the way I have turned out. Why can’t men be like me? Life is more interesting that way. I get to complain. I have fun in life. I like being envied too.. jealousy is a killer, but oh well, we all going to die some day.

I know!!! Most of you really hate me now.. but I never excepted love back. I like to earn it the hard way.

Did I mention that I have a horrible temper?

Yikes!

Obviously, I was lying through my teeth. There were a few crickets and mosquito here and there. But you know what, it was still peaceful and the waves were low.

After Ramadan, I promise to be more active, more verbal, and beyond arrogant to satisfy your and YOUR egos.

It’s good being me and having this adorable blog. I love you Rebellious Arab Girl blog!

This is me getting out of bed these days, just like a baby sloth!

This is part 1 of the series of Mona’s Discontents:

I have a strange mentality, but there is no point of me trying to change it, so I try to embrace its eccentricity. When I was a child, I never followed anyone. My parents didn’t even have to warn me about peer pressure or who I should not talk to. They knew well enough from my strong personality that I do not like walking behind anyone, doing something that everyone else is doing, or following someone else’s lead.  Over time, my personality has formed and lead me to be very patient, a good listener, and have the ability to make my own choices after I carefully studied them.

Therefore, I do not like people who live their lives following others. I cannot comprehend or even try to understand why they accept to live such a life. These people lack inner pride, they cannot make a decision without consulting someone else, and are in dying need for someone to boss them around. I do not understand why, and no way on earth can I live my life like that. How people can wake up every day to live life this way? I have no clue.

Why am I mentioning all this now? You see, I have met many two faced people in my life, and those two faced people are the ones that grab those suckers and make them their followers forever. Let’s say I want to hire someone now, who do I look for? Do I look for someone I knew in the past that I want to keep controlling forever because I am in a higher position now to do so,  or should I look for someone new and different that needs a chance in this world, or should I do hit two birds with one stone and teach the weak to stand up and make a change in their life and hire the new for a change of meeting new people in my life? I do not want to play it safe, because I love to take risks and have faith in other human beings.

Another example, there are many people that complain so much about their work or politics or government but they do nothing about it. Why is it so hard for someone to get off their ass and start doing something? Even if it is something so tiny and maybe not that magnificent, but it is a tiny spec of new hope and change. Blow up like me people! Complain! Say something! I did and look where I am this week? No one dares say a word to me now and I like it. I take charge because I am confident enough to do it, and my life is not worth being someone’s follower.

You may think I am far from arrogant.  However, I am discontent with the world around me, and I have higher expectations of myself and other human beings. This is the real me: patient, full of perseverance, and wants to lead and not follow.

Enough ranting for tonight. My eyes are aching, the heat is blazing, and I am tired of drinking over 4 cups a day of coffee.

Anyways, what has become of my busy life; maybe a bit worse than Discrete Math! I think I make my self beyond busy in order to complain. Yet, once I am bored and I have nothing to do, I complain some more. When can I stop this never ending cycle of complaints?

If you have noticed, I haven’t blogged in days. Sunday, I was lazy and I did some reading. Monday, I worked on my project management assignment, and I did some coding for work at home. Yesterday, same cycle as Monday. However, this morning, I woke up, barely walked around the house and I was literally crying from my allergies killing me. Took some meds, but all day I felt irritated. I don’t know why.

Then when I got home, I was dead tired and I wanted to nap! But that is out of the question when the phone rings all the time and someone is always at the door!

I need a sloth like vacation, but not far away to a wonderful sea breezed island. I want it to be a vacation in bed. I want to spend days in bed and that’s it. I don’t want to even eat. Not even coffee! I want to sleep!

People

I know many of you have been emailing me. Some are thanking me for being alive and have a blog. Some honour me for the courage to be my self. (Yo, I keep it real!) Some complain about my old posts, (That’s why I limit the days the commenting is open for the masses.) And some, well, if they had my email address, then they would be sending me their pictures thinking I will look at them, or post them on my blog. Because somehow, my blog represents a dating site.

Do you see a little drop down menu on this site to search (male or female) and (age and location)? No.

Moreover, the most interesting email I got is from a guy complaining about religion. He was complaining about my religion and why Muslims are turning atheists. I don’t know. What do you want me to say? You want me to bring back old memories (link this old post), or should we continue on the never ending argument that if God exists or not.

Let’s put religion aside, and think about life.

My final reply to the previous question is the following: I cannot live my life knowing that human beings existed for no reason. I don’t want to believe that we evolved out of something else. Where did this something else (enter animal here) come from? Like it all goes back to where did everything come from? Some say bing bang theory, etc. But how did it all happen? Why did it happen, and for what reason?

I find it very hard to believe that life has no meaning, and we exist in this world for no reason. Do I believe in fate? I believe that some things we can control, but many things we cannot. I believe that people emphasize on far too many things, such as religion, culture, morals, ethics, etc, but forgot to look beyond all that and just focus on the bigger picture.

The bigger picture is simple. God, Allah, Yahweh, (higher devine power) put us on this little planet earth for pure amusement. He made us a little bit more intelligent in order to make something out of nothing. Do you see the trend here? Make something out of nothing. Before you were born, you were nothing. However, the moment you were born, you became someone. You grew, you started to create your own life out of nothing from before. What you do with it is your own choice, but you created it out of nothing.  You had a reason to create this life of yours to be something amusing for yourself.

Think about it now, stop asking why or how, and what’s the point. Just think of it as pure amusement. You can make your self cry, laugh, work hard, have no life, become a dead beat, etc. Therefore, if you cannot laugh now, laugh at the end. Life is an amusement park. Just go with the ride that you like, and don’t miss out on the cotton candy while you are there!

P.S. No matter how many arguments people throw at me, I still believe in God and my religion that explains some of the reasons why.

1. Smile when are given more work than you can handle.

2. Fake a huge smile when the work load becomes unbearable.

3. Roll your eyes in disbelief, sigh, murmur the most profane word you can think of, and then say with a smile, “OK!”

4. Just agree to avoid any tension.

5. When things go wrong, blame your self and say, “I will fix it!” Even if you had nothing to do with it, you fixing it will guarantee it will be fixed!

6. Don’t think you are smarter than the others in the team; no one is smart. You are only thought of as smart if you know how to play it right and take responsibility for your mistakes and others idiocity.

7. Make sure you are available at all times and always reply to any email pronto!

8. Always go to work early before anyone else. Sleeping in is only an option on the weekends.

If you followed the previous steps, I will 100% guarantee you the following outcomes:

1. Lots of gray hair.

2. Eyes starts twitching uncontrollably.

3. Eating at your desk.

4. Becoming less social and pleasant as a human being.

5. Migraine every now and then.

6. Lots of caffeine intake.

7. Food is no longer enjoyable but necessary as an energy source to work  … and work … and work!

The result of all this, well..

1. Makes the bosses happy.

2. Everyone else starts to look bad.

P.S. Welcome to my life!

All I hope for in the future that when I am 40 years old, I do not have a job with set human hours!

Anyone in the London Ontario area looking for a university computer science graduate with far too many years of experience? I am willing to switch jobs now, but I demand my job starts at 9 am and does not last for more than 8.5 hours a day!

Please and thank you.

When this song first came, I was like holy shit! Someone is singing the TRUTH! How many of you were caught in a bad romance, and you just didn’t know how to get out of it? How many of you know people that are currently in a bad romance, and all you can do is just watch and see when it will end; peacefully one hopes though!

Gosh! Since this song came out, all I can repeatedly say in my head.. “Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah! Rom-mah-rom-mum-mah! GaGa-oo-la-la!..” Then I cough in the end of that and say.. “ewww.. that was such a bad romance!”

That actually makes me happy, because those people realized that their lives are fine, but there is more to hope for and look forward to. You are giving me hope too, because I don’t have to think that humanity’s way of thinking came to a halt.

What disappointed me though is not the negative poll results where people said they are not happy, or wondering why they turned out this way. On the contrary, I was disappointed that people thought that their life is absolutely fine. How boring is your life? Don’t you wish to improve? Don’t you wish you can improve? Aren’t you hopeful that something better will come along that will drive you to do something different with your life?

Change is not easy, and once you realize that you can, then nothing will stop you.

I don’t know why I brought this up, but I guess it’s funny how people act sometimes, and leads me to think of something that is way out there! I wonder who’s wedding I want to crash first? Hmm!! I will start with small weddings in late April or even May! Right now I am busy, but I got to plan eh?

Anyways, I don’t know why sometimes I say I won’t do something again, but I end up being all nice and let things slide. As I thought about it some more, I think I do such things for a reason, and that reason being to see how far people will go to avoid telling the truth or mentioning anything slightly important.

I know I have been a total pigment of people’s imagination, and a person that people love to forget, but come on! I am still human. It’s nice for you to tell me some important things sometimes. Maybe I will even tell you congratulations. However, the longer you wait to tell me something, or avoid me completely like I am someone who is on the bottom of your list, then don’t expect me to be nice to you ever again, or even talk to you or bother. (I don’t want to really talk to you again, because I don’t know.. it dragged on too long now and I got tired of waiting to see if you will change your mind.) I may even wish you the worst of luck.

But I won’t do that.. I am not mean or envious. I just don’t give a crap about anyone anymore, because no one would do the same for me.

You are lucky I am nice, but I am way too smart and I know everything. It’s my motto in life; “know as many interesting things that you possibly can.” I don’t know though if some people are interesting at all, but sometimes God just tells me to get up in the middle of the night, and find out the truth without anyone’s help!