I don’t think I ever liked highschool and even a majority of my University courses. I blame my dislike to wierdo teachers that I can never remember their names, and the fact that listening to a boring teacher was not a very memorable experience.

For those of you who don’t know, I have a brother that is 4.5 years my senior, and I have a little sister that is half my age. I call her the mistake! Totally spread out freaky family I tell ya! Not so typical Arab! Anyways, this year, she just started highschool. A totally different world in her mindset. However, to me it was a nightmare. I hated highschool. I hated everything about it. I just completely blanked it out from my memory when I finished it. Unfortunately, my sister is attending now the same highschool I graduated from, and oh my oh my, she keeps reiterating the same thing over and over: MONA, DID YOU HAVE THIS TEACHER?

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Every single day she asks me the same questions, and I answer her the same thing, I don’t remember teacher’s names! Maybe if I saw a picture then I can recall the semester of boredom. Otherwise, I could care less who they were. And if they aren’t Science, Math, or English teachers, then don’t think I would ever remember! To me, highschool was a very dark time in my life. It was a time where I spent a majority of it staring frantically at gorgeous guys, and also sitting in the last row staring at the clock above the door second by second till the bell rang.

I hated highschool. I aced it, but I hated it.

I need to seriously stop talking like a teenager and grow up. I also hated a majority of my University courses. And if the course didn’t require attendance, I didn’t go to it! All the lecture notes or slides were online. Why did I need to go to class in order for someone to read off the slides?

Anyways, there is a real reason why I hated highschool. In my last year of highschool, more and more Arabs started attending my school, and they all pissed me off. When one Arab knew you, the entire Arab population knew you and talked shit about you. It seems that Arabs can only survive their day by gossiping or else they will die! That’s why I really hated my highschool.

In conclusion, my sister is driving me crazy, but now, I don’t mind helping her with her homework. She is at a more advanced level that I can remember all the stuff she is taking now. Oh plant sciences! It is truly boring learning the process of photosynthesis. When will she get to more interesting stuff like human physiology!

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This morning, about 30 minutes ago, I was having a weird dream. Then all of a sudden, I felt my entire body being pushed down and shaken. I opened my eyes, looked outside, and my heart stopped. It was cloudy, gloomy, and somewhat fuzzy. I started looking up and down, and I felt the world was spinning.

I put my hand on my chest, and prayed. I thought that the hand of God touched me and pushed me down, and I am about to DIE!

At that point, I felt my heart is about to jump out of my chest from the rapid uncontrollable heart beats.

Few seconds later, I heard shuffling noises and little talk behind me. Oh no! It is true! Judgment Day is here and everyone is saying their final prayers!

Out of curiosity, because I am Mona, I turn my head a little bit behind me, and see my brother walking around grabbing stuff. Then I suddenly feel my 2 year old niece’s hands under my pillow. She was trying to grab whatever is hers that I slept on.

I was like what the hell! Get away!

Do you guys think she jumped on me this morning and shook me? I am 99.99% sure it was her. However, I believe the world is coming to an end, and Judgment Day is here too!

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Interview one down in Kelowna. How did I do? Meh, same old. I am keeping my fingers crossed on this one, although I wasn’t comfortable. I think because I have not been on an interview for a long time, that I was brain dead. I couldn’t answer very well like I used to, or remember some weird ass programming questions. Although it was simple programming, but I can’t remember things when I am nervous on the top of my head. First time ever I felt this way.

Two guys interviewed me. A programming guy who used to be an instructor, and the co-owner. The co-owner was in his 40’s and was very down to earth. The programming guy was around my age, and he knew too much. Being an instructor made him ask too many questions in proper terms. Obviously, I don’t remember everything. hahaha..

Oh well, like I said, I hope God can hear me now and gives me an opportunity so I can finally get a job, and I can send money to the parents since dad has been unemployed for 3 months or so, and the money saved up is depleting fast. Then soon, I can move them all to this beautiful city and finally settle down. I don’t want my parents to work ever again. It’s my choice and I feel obligated to do so from now on.

Please pray for me people. I REALLY want to settle down. I had enough. I need to enhance my skills and use up my talents. I am tired. I want to work with people and have a stable nice job!

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You are wondering why I am coming up with all these topics about Arabs and marriage and crap. Well, let’s say I have been inspired a lot lately, and I need to get a wide opinion from several people. Why? Because I want girls and guys, especially those that come from an Arabic background to not feel bad about the problems they face in life regarding these issues, and to not feel that they are alone.

Every time I feel bad about my self, or think, dear Lord, why me? I then hit my head against the wall and tell my brain to work again. I don’t use my heart to make judgments at all. I used to, and I am a very sensitive person. I cry easily. If I see someone crying, I would cry right away. If I hear someone saying sad words or sweet words, or whatever that is so emotionally touching, then I would cry. Never sit with me if I am watching a sappy movie, like The Notebook. The last scene made me cry like no tomorrow. That’s how bad I am.

So, I am very emotional, but also, I try my best to be very logical in my choices. I forced my self to be strong and not let my heart make the decisions for me. I decided that if I want to keep my dignity as a human being, I would then have to make logical life choices, instead of emotional ones.

I know many people suffer every day from heart brakes. That’s fine. We all did, and we learned from them. However, there is no need to keep repeating the same mistakes. There is no need to fall trapped in a world where you have to get married at a certain age, or you are screwed and people will start calling you names. When I turned 28, many readers know my birthday because I celebrate that day also the birth of my blog, a lot of Arab male idiots decided to call me names for still being single. Most Arabs know what I am talking out, and what exact terms they used, but I am just one person. I cannot change an entire culture, but I am trying to change people’s way of thinking about certain things, but to those who are willing to be open minded and understand that these issues are very common and very hurtful.

So, why is it fine for an Arab guy to be 40 and not married, or 40 and divorced, but a woman can’t? She is very much looked down upon and termed, “hopeless” or a “failure.” Why isn’t the guy a failure as well? Or can we really call it failing? If we all want to get married to someone we truly love, then we need to make logical choices. What do we want from life? Do we want love only?

A lot of people ask me or wonder why I am against love. I will answer it clearly now. I am against the idea that a relationship can continue on because of love. Love is not everything, and it is completely over rated in terms of a relationship. You can love someone. It’s very easy for many people to fall in love, but is there communication? Is there understanding? Is there honesty? Is there trust?

That’s what lacks in many Arab relationships, because of the problems that arise from no trust, no communication, and no honesty. If these things don’t exist, because of the closed mindedness and the clear differentiation of males and females in the Arab society, then there are bound to fail. However, because of the pressures of society, many females put up with it. Why? Why do Arab girls continue to lower their themselves that way? Isn’t she a human being as well? Wasn’t she born the same way as men, from a female?

All I know, and I am 100% sure of it, because I know my self so well, if I did get married at an earlier age, and I did it the traditional Arabic/Islamic way pretty much, then I would have lived a very miserable life. I am not going to lie, but religion plays a big deal with it. However, I would have been divorced by now. The problem is that I hate lowering my self to anyone. I hate being a victim of society and putting up with so much crap, especially for a man. Why should I? Also, in God’s eye, divorce is badly looked down upon, and recommended to be avoided. So, why can’t an Arab guy and girl get to know one another before marriage? Like know each other more than I studied this, I like this type of food, this is my favorite color, blah blah. No, more on a deeper emotional scale. Are they matched well as a whole. How can you know all that if there is a barrier and it is looked down upon if you try to before marriage? Why commit to someone before you go that extra mile to know all the answers?

Now another famous poll of mine!

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I should be the last person on earth to be asked this question, but people always message me asking, “what is your take on arranged marriages in Islam?”

All I can say, it still happens and it will never change. Do I agree with it? It all depends on your personality and the way you were raised. Not everyone follows it. The world changed so much, that parents or families in general don’t necessary force it at all. They prefer that their sons and daughters find their other half through a process of love. The reason such liberalism in thinking regarding such a sensitive topic in our modern times is more common, is due to the fact that the previous generation, or our parent’s generation, has suffered from these arranged marriages.

Life came to a point that it was rushing so fast. More women were educated, becoming more liberated, and are working and helping out with the family’s income. So, their “role” in the family changed drastically, but the mentality of the way many people perceive it till now has not. That’s how problems arise from these arranged marriages and the overall perception of it.

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Do I think Muslims ever marry out of love then if they go through the process of arranged marriages? Umm…

Many people, especially Muslims, till now believe arranged marriages are better. The groom and bride are forced to believe that love develops after marriage. It should never be before that. That’s fine. The way Muslims perceive it, love can easily fool someone’s emotions, and the devil will occupy those two people and cause them to commit sinful actions. Which is true, it happens a lot, and God does not forgive such actions. It is even a sin in other religions, not just Islam. But I believe that people who end up in such a position because they are very weak. They are weak in personality and faith. If all Muslims followed only the basics of their religion, then no one would have to worry about arranged marriages or forcing a girl to marry too young, or any other weird story that many people hear about every day. However, there is always evil in this world that messes up people’s judgments.

Do I believe in arranged marriages in general? Umm…

If we want to base this on the great method of keeping up with damn statistics, and personal experiences from you, yes you the reader, then, ah, I hear about breakups and divorces more than anything in our world. In Canada, the divorce rate is hovering around 38% yearly, and in the United States, around 45%. Isn’t that a bit too high? Seriously, if the majority of those people married out of love, spent so much money on a wedding, home, furniture, appliances, and even procreating, then why in the world did it end in divorce? Wasn’t it a marriage based on love? So what would be the odds that an arranged marriage is better or worse than that?

For arranged marriages, I don’t know what the statistics are, but I got many people telling me, the odds of marrying out of love or arranged marriage is almost the same, and most likely the same number of people will end up in divorce. Therefore, don’t think arranged marriages are such a bad thing. Like I said, you are asking me, Mona, if I think it is ok. I think marriage in general is not ok! I am anti-marriage and anti-love. Happy? No, I am just joking I swear, but many of you already know my take on this whole marriage business. It ain’t easy, and I am old enough to know that a person needs to control their emotions and think before signing their life away, and be part of someone else’s life. I like things to last forever, and I am not willing to jump into the band wagon because everyone else is. And I believe that resorting to an arranged marriage is like accepting vanilla over chocolate, and I damn love my chocolates!!

For the final time, marriage is different people. Arranged or out of love, married life is SO different. So, this question that people keep asking me, and thinking that it is so backwards and our religion is so oppressing for women, and life, etc, need to really stop. There is no right answer. It is all based on experience, and I experienced neither to really come up with a really really good answer. All I know that love is over rated. Life is a lot more than that, and we should never let our emotions take over logical life choices.

I keep hearing Syrians or even Lebanese saying this regarding marriage, “Marriage is like a watermelon. You don’t know how it tastes like till you open it. It could be sweet or sour. You never know.”

HOWEVER! I can sense the odd few anal people right now that will counter argue that phrase! They will say that you can pick the exact sweet type of watermelon. Science changed things. . . Blah blah blah .. spare me .. spare me this argument. It is pointless!

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