For the past year, I have been complaining all day long with my unemployment status, and I put it the first and only thing on my list. Thankfully, I have been employed now for almost 4 weeks, and I couldn’t be happier. However, what do I long for or complain about now?

It’s not that I don’t long for anything, but sometimes I feel that I am bored out of my mind, and other times too exhausted to think. The exhaustion I can get used to by getting fully accustomed to my job. I am just working extra hard, because they hired me to get a huge project done ASAP. Like coding and testing an entire application by end of December! Argh! I am working with someone else, so it is not as bad as it seems. However, there is a minor learning curve I have to master quickly while I am working. That’s what is exhausting me, and I know the exhaustion will diminish over time.

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Therefore, exhaustion is just a temporary thing. We all established that thus far. So, what is making be bored to death when I am at home? I try to waste my hours by cleaning, cooking, reading books, etc, but I don’t feel satisfied enough. I just don’t have anything or anyone to complain about! I can’t complain about the unfairness of the work place like my previous job. Also, I can’t even complain about the people at work, because no one is obnoxious, selfish, and a show off like my previous job. I got hired into a nice place with nice and sweet people!

Does that mean I am nice and sweet?

I didn’t think so either. They know nothing yet! Let’s keep it that way!

Anyways, I need to figure out now what I want from life. Something new I need to look forward to so I won’t be bored. The more tedious and worrisome it is, the better. And no, you and you, and even you don’t even say it! I don’t want to get married! I don’t want to search for someone! Let them find me! I am just tired of looking. Well, I have not been looking lately, because the more I tried to look, the more I felt I was desperate for marriage. However, I believe that I am more desperate for someone to just like me for being me. Let marriage come way later, but that first step, love and understanding, is what I am really looking for.

I think I am dreaming here because no way will a guy (Arab guy), ever waste his time understanding someone else. Especially someone my age who is as complicated as hell in her thinking. But you know what, maybe it is better that way. Sera Sera. Whatever will be, will be.

Until then, I will find something else to complain about.

My deep thoughts are still leaning towards creating something big on the net. I don’t know if I want it as another blog, or something more of a community. We will see how I feel about coding on weekends from now on, and if it is something I am willing to do anytime soon. Maybe I just need a new hobby. Like collecting stamps or applying to be a contestant on Jeopardy! (Addict to the show by the way!) Hehehe.

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Sleepy Post

I don’t think I ever liked highschool and even a majority of my University courses. I blame my dislike to wierdo teachers that I can never remember their names, and the fact that listening to a boring teacher was not a very memorable experience.

For those of you who don’t know, I have a brother that is 4.5 years my senior, and I have a little sister that is half my age. I call her the mistake! Totally spread out freaky family I tell ya! Not so typical Arab! Anyways, this year, she just started highschool. A totally different world in her mindset. However, to me it was a nightmare. I hated highschool. I hated everything about it. I just completely blanked it out from my memory when I finished it. Unfortunately, my sister is attending now the same highschool I graduated from, and oh my oh my, she keeps reiterating the same thing over and over: MONA, DID YOU HAVE THIS TEACHER?

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Every single day she asks me the same questions, and I answer her the same thing, I don’t remember teacher’s names! Maybe if I saw a picture then I can recall the semester of boredom. Otherwise, I could care less who they were. And if they aren’t Science, Math, or English teachers, then don’t think I would ever remember! To me, highschool was a very dark time in my life. It was a time where I spent a majority of it staring frantically at gorgeous guys, and also sitting in the last row staring at the clock above the door second by second till the bell rang.

I hated highschool. I aced it, but I hated it.

I need to seriously stop talking like a teenager and grow up. I also hated a majority of my University courses. And if the course didn’t require attendance, I didn’t go to it! All the lecture notes or slides were online. Why did I need to go to class in order for someone to read off the slides?

Anyways, there is a real reason why I hated highschool. In my last year of highschool, more and more Arabs started attending my school, and they all pissed me off. When one Arab knew you, the entire Arab population knew you and talked shit about you. It seems that Arabs can only survive their day by gossiping or else they will die! That’s why I really hated my highschool.

In conclusion, my sister is driving me crazy, but now, I don’t mind helping her with her homework. She is at a more advanced level that I can remember all the stuff she is taking now. Oh plant sciences! It is truly boring learning the process of photosynthesis. When will she get to more interesting stuff like human physiology!

Blah Blah, Funny, Random Thoughts, Sleepy Post, They said what?, Whatever!

This morning, about 30 minutes ago, I was having a weird dream. Then all of a sudden, I felt my entire body being pushed down and shaken. I opened my eyes, looked outside, and my heart stopped. It was cloudy, gloomy, and somewhat fuzzy. I started looking up and down, and I felt the world was spinning.

I put my hand on my chest, and prayed. I thought that the hand of God touched me and pushed me down, and I am about to DIE!

At that point, I felt my heart is about to jump out of my chest from the rapid uncontrollable heart beats.

Few seconds later, I heard shuffling noises and little talk behind me. Oh no! It is true! Judgment Day is here and everyone is saying their final prayers!

Out of curiosity, because I am Mona, I turn my head a little bit behind me, and see my brother walking around grabbing stuff. Then I suddenly feel my 2 year old niece’s hands under my pillow. She was trying to grab whatever is hers that I slept on.

I was like what the hell! Get away!

Do you guys think she jumped on me this morning and shook me? I am 99.99% sure it was her. However, I believe the world is coming to an end, and Judgment Day is here too!

Blah Blah, Confused, Funny, Random Thoughts, Sleepy Post

Interview one down in Kelowna. How did I do? Meh, same old. I am keeping my fingers crossed on this one, although I wasn’t comfortable. I think because I have not been on an interview for a long time, that I was brain dead. I couldn’t answer very well like I used to, or remember some weird ass programming questions. Although it was simple programming, but I can’t remember things when I am nervous on the top of my head. First time ever I felt this way.

Two guys interviewed me. A programming guy who used to be an instructor, and the co-owner. The co-owner was in his 40′s and was very down to earth. The programming guy was around my age, and he knew too much. Being an instructor made him ask too many questions in proper terms. Obviously, I don’t remember everything. hahaha..

Oh well, like I said, I hope God can hear me now and gives me an opportunity so I can finally get a job, and I can send money to the parents since dad has been unemployed for 3 months or so, and the money saved up is depleting fast. Then soon, I can move them all to this beautiful city and finally settle down. I don’t want my parents to work ever again. It’s my choice and I feel obligated to do so from now on.

Please pray for me people. I REALLY want to settle down. I had enough. I need to enhance my skills and use up my talents. I am tired. I want to work with people and have a stable nice job!

Blah Blah, Confused, Random Thoughts, Sleepy Post, They said what?

You are wondering why I am coming up with all these topics about Arabs and marriage and crap. Well, let’s say I have been inspired a lot lately, and I need to get a wide opinion from several people. Why? Because I want girls and guys, especially those that come from an Arabic background to not feel bad about the problems they face in life regarding these issues, and to not feel that they are alone.

Every time I feel bad about my self, or think, dear Lord, why me? I then hit my head against the wall and tell my brain to work again. I don’t use my heart to make judgments at all. I used to, and I am a very sensitive person. I cry easily. If I see someone crying, I would cry right away. If I hear someone saying sad words or sweet words, or whatever that is so emotionally touching, then I would cry. Never sit with me if I am watching a sappy movie, like The Notebook. The last scene made me cry like no tomorrow. That’s how bad I am.

So, I am very emotional, but also, I try my best to be very logical in my choices. I forced my self to be strong and not let my heart make the decisions for me. I decided that if I want to keep my dignity as a human being, I would then have to make logical life choices, instead of emotional ones.

I know many people suffer every day from heart brakes. That’s fine. We all did, and we learned from them. However, there is no need to keep repeating the same mistakes. There is no need to fall trapped in a world where you have to get married at a certain age, or you are screwed and people will start calling you names. When I turned 28, many readers know my birthday because I celebrate that day also the birth of my blog, a lot of Arab male idiots decided to call me names for still being single. Most Arabs know what I am talking out, and what exact terms they used, but I am just one person. I cannot change an entire culture, but I am trying to change people’s way of thinking about certain things, but to those who are willing to be open minded and understand that these issues are very common and very hurtful.

So, why is it fine for an Arab guy to be 40 and not married, or 40 and divorced, but a woman can’t? She is very much looked down upon and termed, “hopeless” or a “failure.” Why isn’t the guy a failure as well? Or can we really call it failing? If we all want to get married to someone we truly love, then we need to make logical choices. What do we want from life? Do we want love only?

A lot of people ask me or wonder why I am against love. I will answer it clearly now. I am against the idea that a relationship can continue on because of love. Love is not everything, and it is completely over rated in terms of a relationship. You can love someone. It’s very easy for many people to fall in love, but is there communication? Is there understanding? Is there honesty? Is there trust?

That’s what lacks in many Arab relationships, because of the problems that arise from no trust, no communication, and no honesty. If these things don’t exist, because of the closed mindedness and the clear differentiation of males and females in the Arab society, then there are bound to fail. However, because of the pressures of society, many females put up with it. Why? Why do Arab girls continue to lower their themselves that way? Isn’t she a human being as well? Wasn’t she born the same way as men, from a female?

All I know, and I am 100% sure of it, because I know my self so well, if I did get married at an earlier age, and I did it the traditional Arabic/Islamic way pretty much, then I would have lived a very miserable life. I am not going to lie, but religion plays a big deal with it. However, I would have been divorced by now. The problem is that I hate lowering my self to anyone. I hate being a victim of society and putting up with so much crap, especially for a man. Why should I? Also, in God’s eye, divorce is badly looked down upon, and recommended to be avoided. So, why can’t an Arab guy and girl get to know one another before marriage? Like know each other more than I studied this, I like this type of food, this is my favorite color, blah blah. No, more on a deeper emotional scale. Are they matched well as a whole. How can you know all that if there is a barrier and it is looked down upon if you try to before marriage? Why commit to someone before you go that extra mile to know all the answers?

Now another famous poll of mine!

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Blah Blah, Culture, Random Thoughts, Religion, Sleepy Post, Whatever!