I was waiting for the bus today, and inevitably staring at people and hearing various conversations. Surprisingly, none of the verbal jib-jab interested me or grabbed my attention. However, I noticed this weird thing that many Arabs, or maybe even those of other cultures see as well; a distinct facial expression that no one can miss.

So, he had green eyes, very light coloured skin, and brown hair. Looked nothing like the typical Arab. However, his eyes were wide and filled with sorrow. I assumed he was an Arab. I don’t know why I did. I don’t know who he was and I never seen him in my life, and guess what ethnicity he was? An Arab! How did I find out he was definetly one? Simple, one Arab + one Arab that pops up from thin air = loud Arabic conversation that begins with, “Man, seme3et shu sar?” (Man, did you hear what happened?)

Is it me, or do Arabs have this sadness to them? Most of the Arabs that I sporadically find on the street or waiting on the bus have a very sad facial expression. Why is that? I should be the QUEEN of sad facial expressions and be spotted a mile away. Well, the tan skin and Arabic eyes won’t fool anyone, but who said that my life turned out great that I shouldn’t be sad?

You Arabs, if you do decide to laugh, it is only when someone is made fun of, or you told a nasty joke that is forbidden to say at home. Right?

Tell me why most of you have this sad look. Is it the dominant allele? Is it the way we are raised in this joyous culture? Or is it that all our lives turned out like crap?

Blah Blah, Sleepy Post, Whatever!

Every time someone speaks to me and wonders what I am doing in my life, they throw this phrase, “why don’t you do something productive?” Ok? I think to my self, so if I am beyond weak, my brain is a roller coaster and is a bit all over the place, and the last thing I can think of that takes more than 2 brain cells to compute is doing something productive.

I don’t feel like thinking about it now. I really don’t. I don’t know what this productive thing they are thinking of. If I watch TV, isn’t that productive? If I read a book, isn’t that productive? Writing and maintaining websites, isn’t that productive? Being a social active internet person who knows all the latest news, isn’t that productive? WHY DOES HAVING A JOB AND WORKING THE ONLY THING LABELED IN OUR SOCIETY AS BEING PRODUCTIVE?

Some people say I am wasting my talents. I say I am enhancing them by reading and getting to know what’s out there. When I wasn’t sick I was actually exploring new realms of life. Trying to understand what my talents are. What talents do I have? What can I, as a girl, as an Arab girl living in Canada, do to be part of this society and become something important. Maybe that’s the problem, I always wanted to be something important and recognizable within my society. Maybe that’s why I maintain this site with all my heart. It’s because I am doing something important. I am known to stand for something and have my voice heard about issues that people don’t know how to discuss. Isn’t that productive?

I am craving more fruits. That’s all I have been eating, and sweet savory grapes make me sleepy and my brain numb. Eating is also productive… because it keeps you healthy.

Blah Blah, Sleepy Post, They said what?, Whatever!

I have not been sleeping well at all the past 3 or 4 weeks. It got worse this week with my less than 3 hours of sleep. That’s why I have been so alert and just want to continue doing something all day. My brain is just functioning all the time! No stopping it what so ever. I am no longer lazy!

Sleep deprivation, will it eventually kill me?

Sleepy Post

It’s early AM and I have been awake since 2:30. I am still sleeping on the couch in the living room. My bed is not that great and I tried sitting on it yesterday and it was more painful than a needle touching your finger. I am just so tired. I have been sitting in the same location since Sunday. I can walk now but my feet are killing me when I do. My back is somewhat better but I am still taking meds. I wonder what will happen when I completely stop.

It’s thundering and raining really hard outside. I can hear it and even see rays of light coming through the thick drapes. I honestly like the sound of rain, but obviously not thunder. Thunder here actually shakes our house if it is strong. So it is not that pleasant of a feeling when you come from war torn countries and hearing a bomb like sound outside.

So I can’t sleep. You want to know why? Well, I got so tired of taking medicines last night, that I didn’t take my sleeping one. It is supposed to make you drowsy and not feel any pain. So I didn’t want to take it and sleep on my own. Well, 3 hours later and I was awake! Yaay. I kept hearing a party in my head telling me to wake up and stay awake.

I spent my time surfing the web with my handicapped wireless laptop. The wireless indicator is saying “very slow signal.” And I have to agree, it is S L O W. I feel that I am surfing the web with dial up. Man… I can’t imagine surfing the web anymore using dial up. I just remember the annoying phone sound that it made to connect.

My head really hurts now. I feel dizzy and moody. I feel like hitting something really hard just for the pleasure. I think I am psychotic, but this is what happens when meds and sleep deprivation meet.

Has anyone ever thought why the internet became so popular? I can tell you why!! It’s because there are psychos like me infesting it with our addictive wisdom and witty sayings. You know you want to read more. I can come up with lots of stuff to say. I am full of words of wisdom.

How about this ladies. Say you are in a crowd of people and you spot an attractive handsome man. What do you do?

1. Do you approach him.
2. Do you just keep staring at him.
3. Make it your life mission to stalk him.
4. Ask your friends if they know him.
5. Set up a trip wire and make him fall next you.

I go for number 5. Why you might ask? Simple. Why should a girl initiate all the moves, when she can easily make him fall next to her? :laugh:

Aye.. I am a bit crazy. I have to make that clear. If you ever see me posting another post this early, then you know I am operating with half mental capacity. The other half is hovering in outer space waiting for the engine to fire up again and come back.

This post is pointless and just a bunch of ramblings. I will post it anyways.

Sleepy Post

I am in therapy, and this is what I do to kill the unproductive hours at work.

Click to enlarge images.

Depressed, Sleepy Post, Whatever!