I lost my turtle Squibby! I want to cry. I let him out yesterday and forgot to put him back in the tank.. we didn’t realize it till today. Now he is gone. Can’t find him. It’s all my fault!

Updated @ 4:15pm: I still couldn’t find him. I looked everywhere, asked people.. nothing.. Not a trace of him. It is like he vanished!

Depressed, Squibby

It’s April 1st, and I have been fooled by NATURE! Damn rain rain rain!!

I need to sing the rain song.

I don’t like rain.

Rain does not like me. :annoyed:

It makes my hair all frizzy that I end up looking like I am from the 1960′s. :gross:

Why oh why do I have to go to work. :dead:

Can I call it a rain day, and cannot go outside? :hmph:

Snow was bad, but rain is worse.

Now I can’t wait for summer, and skip spring and all its flowers. :yes:

Oh I hate April and all its rain. Damn rain. Damn rain. Damn RAIN! :annoyed:

This is how it looks outside right now. Not only is it rainy, but windy too!

Also, I got requests asking me how my office looks and why I complain so much. So I took a picture of it’s smallness! I didn’t take a picture of the other office, but it is WAY worse cause it has 4 desks! This one has only 3.

Also, Squibby and Nibbled want to say hi. I don’t know why the water became so yellowish so quickly. I need to clean it! :grr:

Angry, Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Squibby, Video

I haven’t posted anything about Squibby in a long time. After we were deported to the new small ass office, Squibby’s energy level had increased ten fold. Not to mention the sudden growth spurt! However, I got one gold fish left and I named it “Nibbled.” I used the past tense of the word nibble because eventually Squibby will nibble on it and become his feast. Oh the day when the massacre will occur. I know I won’t be there to see it, but I am thinking of installing a web cam to always watch!

If you don’t know who Squibby is then I shall introduce the little fella again. Squibby is the awesome bastard of a turtle that I have at work. He is a bastard because he never knew his father and his mother sold him to the pet store for pennies. He lives beside my desk, and has his own rock view of everything. Squibby watches over the lab and he is waiting to grow more to eat Nibbled. I try to feed him as much as I can so he will become a fat bastard and the massacre will occur sooner. I am really tired of that fat gold fish. It will eventually die, so it might as be someone’s dinner.

Squibby, Video

Good things always come to an end.. They say always give the bad news on a Friday afternoon to their employees. To me it wasn’t bad, but something I was expecting for many years. I guess I will have to officially see how things will turn out and life will always be good if we think positively. Nothing to be sad about. This is life. Road bumps always scare us and make us unhappy, but we always have to look to the future and always think positively. That was my problem, I didn’t think positively and I prepared for everything.

I prepared for it from day one. From the day I wasn’t granted any benefits and I knew it was a temporary thing. The day I wasn’t treated equally although I was more educated and I had the drive to do more work than anyone. I refused to buy a car because why should I burden my self with something that I don’t know if I can afford in a year or two.

I was honestly prepared and I wasn’t shocked. I am not unhappy nor happy. I learned to take advantage of the situation and I took more classes and only worked 75% of the time of my official contract. I, however, still put put 100% into my work time and I worked day and night to satisfy my self.

Lately, however, I haven’t been doing any work at all. My heart was telling me to pause. To stop and wait. I needed a brake and just wait. I never took a vacation that cleared my mind for all these years that I worked.. and I was just slouching around at work to wait and see what will happen, cause everything was messed up and I was just watching to see the results.

I wasn’t going to stick around at all. It was a mistake from 3 years ago. A burden from the past. I was going to quit the moment that HE left. He left cause of me and I had a resignation letter and everything ready. I only stuck around because I liked my boss and he gave me an opportunity to do so. I really didn’t like anyone else and I absolutely did not care about anyone or anything. Half the time I didn’t agree with what my boss did or his final decisions, and ended up just fighting with him, but I treated him like someone in my family, like my brother. We fight, makeup, fight again, I sometimes don’t agree with what he decides, but in the end, it is all good and we just have to love each other cause life’s too short and only fun with all the obstacles. We can’t be happy all the time, where is the fun in that?

My heart wasn’t into this job at all, but when you look up to someone and respect them then you put up with everything you hate and you just wait and wait to see what the final outcome is.

So I think I am prepared now to officially find another job. I am not too keen about getting accepted to masters in business. I did it for fun and see if I will get in. I hate the idea of Masters in Computer Science, and I decided I will no longer take anymore courses next term and end all this continuous learning. I will just do what I was meant to do 3 years ago. Find something else! Good thing I saved over 20,000 dollars and the rest in stocks and bonds, and I still lived comfortably with paying all my loans on time. I am thankful and happy and was always smart about it.

I am sorry to the specific people who are going to read this but you will find out on Monday. Might as well hear it from me because I cannot keep anything in my heart and I have to write it down or I will seriously explode. That was the cause of my depression and sickness. So, I am just a special person who gets the news quicker because why not, I don’t like surprises and not knowing. Sorry boss.. sorry everyone else who knows me.. I just got off the phone with my best friend and I told her everything. I will not tell my parents till December when I get a new short term contract and just face reality. This is life. Good things always come to an end and life goes on.

But I am not going to be pessimistic about this, and I believe in miracles and good things will always happen if we put out hearts to it..

Who knows, maybe in the middle of this month things will change and everything will be back to normal like it was meant to be!

Oh well, if not, in a few months I will bring Squibby home and give it to my sister cause she was pissed that her goldfish died. Hehe.. other than that.. I will no longer be picky about jobs or complain.. I will take it seriously and start applying for real work starting January! Wohoo. It’s about time that I do something different in my life! It’s always good. Everything will always end up being good in the end!

Yah.. this website is really my official diary and only place to actually read and know what I am thinking. I don’t talk or express my self in real life because …. well.. I don’t want to. I made this blog for a reason, and it is to express my self truthfully.

Oh well… It was a great run, time to move on to new and better things.. The job market for technology is awesome and this is life..

Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, Squibby, They said what?

I miss waking up in the morning going to work and feeding my turtle and fishies. I miss SQUIBBY!! I miss people I like and I don’t like. Where’s the fun in life? I am tired of being sick.. Really.. we don’t appreciate our health until we are sick. Aaah my life. I need a long break. A very long one from everything, but at the same time I will miss the little joys in life that kept me alive and having to do something that is worth my time.

So am I getting any better? Sort of. My blood pressure is still sort of high. No difference really since yesterday.. my heart rate went down.. it is at 98 bpm now. Which is great! Yaay. I seem to be a lot more calm today. I just needed a brake from life. I haven’t been at work since Tuesday. It sucks. I feel bad.

I know what you guys think.. “oh no.. she will never learn and she will suffer again from her job.” Yes.. I know that.. but what am I to do? I can’t quit just like that. It is not only wrong, but looks so bad on me. I like what I do at work, I just don’t like the way I am treated. I feel so little and worthless there.

Sometimes I wish I was a kid again. Just play.. get an allowance and buy candy.

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Squibby