Blogs are the biggest form of reality tv online life. No need to post videos or stupid edited lines to make your blog interesting. Real life blogs are the most read blogs on the net. Just writing down your thoughts and the things you did for the day is enough. Throwing pictures here and there, or a video of some weird situation just spices it up.

This week I was labeled as the depressing sad blog. I guess some people actually sympathize with me from time to time. I thought people just read my blog to see if today I am crazier than yesterday.

I pretty much lost over 90% of my Arab audience. Most of my visitors and commentors are not Arabs anymore. (Most Arabs hate my blog because I don’t care about what I say.) I guess my blog has reached the masses because I don’t write about just being an Arab. It is about everything. About my life, about my thoughts. It is not hard for anyone to start a blog like mine and just be honest and tell the truth about anything that needs to be said out loud. It is the hardest thing.

However, it was easy for me to do, because I don’t speak out in real life, and I use my blog as a medium of speaking out. I just have a fear that if I speak out or interact with any more people than what I already know, that I would say something that will bite me in the ass in the end. I just learned to just take out all my anger, all my thoughts, all my problems, and just write it out. Then I feel that I got it out of my chest.

I know, it is a bad thing to do. However, I don’t like to hurt people or say anything to anyone because I don’t know how people will react. So I just avoid them, and just avoid headaches. That’s why I just keep saying, “I want to be left alone. Leave me alone.” It is because I can’t handle people anymore. At times I can’t even handle people’s comments.

Like this week, some idiot said that if I had a problem working in Canada, then I should go back to my land and live in the Terrorist camps where I belong. I didn’t want to deal with such morons and I just banned him from the site, but why the hell are people such racist bigots? I mean, if someone said that to me in real life, I would die from shock. It is enough I have received racist comments growing up until now, but that’s just too much. The internet has become a wild zoo.

Media sucks! However, blogs are the only personal mediums where reality shows are a lot more believable and easier to sympathize with.

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, They said what?

I asked my friend today a simple question and she knows everything that goes on in my life, and at times she thinks I am crazy, but she knows why I do the things I do because she would do the same and people think she is crazy. So I asked her, “Be honest with me. Do you think I am a drama queen?”

She said, “YES YOU ARE!”

I said, ” ok ”

She said, “I AM TOO! WTF. Don’t be sad. Jeez. It’s a permanent label on us two.”

I said, “well, I don’t mean it, and I have my reasonings. ”

She said, “yah. I do too. But people don’t like us and treat us like crap because we let them. And when we speak up and tell people to leave us alone, they think we are just drama queens and just act the way we do to get attention.”

I said, “I don’t even want people to pay attention to me. I want them to leave me alone. Pretend I don’t exist.”

She said, “Not going to work. We grab attention because we never follow the crowd and we stand out.”

I said, “I just want to be normal. I am tired of my life. Everyone is happy and just do their work in peace and quiet and enjoy their life. I can’t even imagine my self waking up in the morning anymore and thinking positively. Will today be a better day than yesterday? I just can’t think that far ahead of what might happen in the next few hours of the day anymore.”

She said, “I don’t know either. Nothing is right in this life, but it is out of our hands and we either bitch about it or tell people off or just sit alone and hope things will just go away.”

I just want to have a normal life and be happy with what I do in my life. I am going to spend the rest of the day making more iRebels and do what I like to do best. Make characters and animations.

I will be back later with more iRebels.

Blah Blah, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!

One thing about people is that they have the ability to make you hate what you love. At times I convince my self, I love this, and I love that. Yet others would constantly mock my interests and hobbies and things that make me as a person. The constant mockery is irritating and gradually it makes a person start hating the things they love. People make you hate it. How strong are people’s opinions really?

I try my hardest to ignore and not care, but people seriously have no respect towards other people and they think their opinions and the way they view things in this life is the best and only way. The problem is that they think they are obligated to enforce their ideas and opinions on others, and if that person does not comply, they will constantly keep bugging them and make fun of them until that love becomes a hate.

Why do we have to surround our selves with so many different people? It’s best to be left alone I swear.

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, They said what?

I decided that I will look for another job. I had enough. I am going to do a full fledge job hunting like I am unemployed. I can’t stand my work anymore or the people there. They hate me, insult me, and I can’t stand being in the same room with them anymore. From now on, I am no longer defending anyone or feeling sorry for them. If they were meant to be fired the first time, so be it. I don’t care anymore. I want to leave soon and this time no games. Today I had enough and there are a lot of places out there that will appreciate me working for them with better work ethics.

For once in my life I want to feel like I am going to work every day with people who respect me and not insult me and actually treat me as a co-worker and not a joke.

I wonder what I can do. I guess I can look for regular programming jobs or graphics design or anything with a good working environment.

I will just keep praying and hoping for the best.

Angry, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!

One thing I don’t like is people bugging me. I tend to hide and stop answering phone calls or answer emails or chat on msn. I just want peace and quiet! Please! I have stuff to do, things to accomplish, and I feel trapped by having to please people. Why do I have to please everyone?

Yesterday was worse. I was hounded and I had missed calls on my cell phone and constant msn messages asking me to call someone just to make sure if he will pick up. Just a missed call. Nothing more.

That’s when I drew the line. I actually said, “NO.”

Also, I was stereotyped as a person who always argues and never agrees. I am sorry, why should I agree with something I don’t believe in? I don’t agree with people for the fun of it and just please them. I could care less. I say and do things that satisfy me. I don’t care if it is right or wrong. As long as I am convinced than that’s it. Then they say there is no room to argue with me. Argue with that? I said no and I didn’t agree the first time, why would I change my mind the second time?

So I decided to just hide and stop talking to people. I need my quiet alone time. I haven’t had that in a long long time.

Angry, Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!