I used to think that I had people to trust and to talk to all the time. I tell them my problems, and they listen. That’s all I want really, a shoulder to cry on. Yet, I don’t get that feeling anymore from some people. I find some people are trying to listen and find a solution to satisfy them selves in the end. I am very ambitious but I don’t like to discuss it with some people. I want great things to happen to me and I will never give up. However, some people think that I will be satisfied with anything as long as it is a solution to my immediate need to change. What about the future? Isn’t that something to look forward to?

Ah.. you see the future is exactly where I want to be now. Yet, that’s not the case for some people because I will be at their level and that’s not what they want. You learn a lot about people and their real intentions from small conversations and discussing these future ambitions. I find it funny how people envy your ambitions and don’t even want you to reach them.

Who can a person trust now a days to talk to?

Now I am at work distracting my self by writing this post because I am so sick of working. I am now back to square one and debugging this shitty software I made and because I hate it with a passion, and was the number one reason I wanted to leave so bad, I totally screwed it up. I have no idea how to fix it, and I don’t even want to. I want to keep dragging it on and on till I leave. I keep thinking, well, that’s not right. You see, people like me feel guilty really fast. I keep thinking about it and not knowing what to do really. I will just keep dragging it and see what I can fix. God I hate this life of mine and this stupid job that I should have left years ago when I had the chance! God I am stupid!

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, They said what?

I got this question in my email today in Arabic from an anonymous person.

هل أنت قومية عربية؟

Translation: “Are you an Arab nationalist?”

The meaning behind the nationalist ideology is that people who think like this believe that Arabs should all be united as one.

What does the Rebellious Arab Girl answer? Yes.

Would I have been the same if I was living all my life in the Arab World? Yes.

Any more questions? You people will never give up! I swear you guys will start asking me next on religion.

Blah Blah, They said what?

One thing I can’t stand is talking to someone long distance. I hear them just fine, and they can’t hear me unless I AM SCREAMING! So I talked to my mom in Lebanon, and she kept asking me what I wanted.

So I pretty much told her I want one thing only, which is Arabic eye liner or powder or crayon pencil. She kept saying, “WHAT?” I said, “you either get me the powder or the crayon. Other than that DON’T get me ANYTHING!” She said, “you want the crayon pencil so you can look like Haifa Wahbe?” I said, “what does HAIFA have to do with this! I have sensitive eyes, and I am running out!”

On the mention of Haifa, my best friend hates her with a passion! I think it is because 90% of Arab males are gaga over her. Me, I don’t care! She is Haifa! :lmao:

Believe me, I am not trying to promote her, she doesn’t need it!

All I have been doing lately is watching Arabic TV. We have 3 Arabic music channels on satellite. So yah… It is interesting! As for Haifa… well, I guess you don’t even need to speak Arabic or understand her. Most men just mute the TV and watch her.

For me, I actually like this song. I don’t know why!
P.S. Lisa don’t hate me!

Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!

Look how polite I am, I said “please.” A rebellious person would just say, FUCKING STOP ASKING ME ABOUT RELIGION, POLITICS AND HISTORY in BIG BOLD letters, but not today. I want to talk about more serious issues that people keep asking me and wanting my opinion about. I want to refresh people’s memories who read my latest About Me page. I wrote a particular paragraph to illustrate a certain point.

I said,

My blog is only about me. I am not affiliated with any group or clan or anything. I don’t talk about politics or religious denominations or countries because it does not interest me and I don’t want to spend hours of my day arguing with ignorant people.

I think that is pretty clear. We agree right?

Now look at the following picture:

Most of you should know it. It’s beyond famous that as I, a child of the 80′s, grew up watching cartoons that had the ideology of the Three Wise Monkeys. Why? Because it teachs us these life lessons: Speak no evil. See no evil. Hear no evil.

Why am I mentioning this. Some may ask me this, “you got a blog, and you talk about people all the time.” I have to disagree with that. I seldom talk about people, and those people that I do, they love me enough that they check my blog every day and know that I talk about them. I mention them, and they don’t mind as long as I don’t cross the line. I have to be honest and I crossed the line at times, but I think they know me enough as a good person that I don’t mean it.

So we made that clear. In the end, the three wise monkeys really mean that you should not gossip or bother discussing stuff that you don’t gain anything out of. Now, let’s talk about what really bothers me and for some of you it will give a better indication of my personality.

Religion

I don’t like discussing religion. I may discuss religious issues that effect me, but over all, I don’t question it because who am I to question something that people have been doing for years?

I don’t care what religion you are and I am not biased towards any religion. I grew up in a Christian community and it never bothered me or effected me. We Muslims, who follow it properly, know for a fact that we are never to discuss the rights and wrongs of other religions, because those people will do the same to us.

I don’t have a reason to justify my actions based on religion. I don’t want people to stereotype me a certain way because of my religion. I was born into this religion, and I chose to accept it and keep obeying by it.

I don’t discuss religious denominations within my own religion. (ie, Sunni, Shi’a, Ahmadiya, Ismaili, Sufi, Durze, Alawy, etc.) However, sometimes out of curiosity, I argue a bit with an open minded Shi’a to see the differences, and why those individuals chose to be Shi’a. That’s all. Only to increase my knowledge, and that’s it. Otherwise, I don’t give a crap about any denomination. If every Muslim, or Christian, etc followed the traditions and the way religion was brought to us the first time, then there wouldn’t be any problems and this constant need for separation. Really, none at all. I remember this like it was yesterday. At work a few years ago, we had a co-worker from Bangladesh, a very nice Muslim guy. He followed religion the way it is. I asked him out of curiosity if he was Sunni or Shi’a, etc just to increase my knowledge of what people call them selves in that area. He looked at me in bewilderment and said, “what is Sunni? And Shi’a? I just follow Islam.” Probably the most honest and perfect answer I heard coming out of someone else’s mouth. Just Muslim. Simple as that!

Politics

In the FAQ on my site, I answered it pretty clearly. I am Liberal! That doesn’t mean that I live a liberal open life. No. I have a liberal mentality. I am open minded. I am ready for change. I want things to be different based on thoughts and ideologies. That’s all. I don’t want to affiliate my self with anything beyond that. I just want to see a change in the way we live, that’s not much to ask or anything too drastic.

History

Thousands of years ago humans lived all over this world. Where they were most gathered is probably around the middle east area. Historically speaking, who knows. I think it seemed feasible at the time because temperature wise it was ideal. So, I think most of the people lived around that area and around the southern half of Europe, and northern Africa. That’s just my opinion. What were these people called? I donno. I would call them human beings. That’s all I can come up with. I mean I don’t want to discuss the issue of who’s land it was first like people’s constant need to argue that was it called Palestine? Was it called Israel? Etc. Honestly, do I give a crap? I don’t even think back then people labeled a particular area of land as a country. They named the area by its people. Those people lived there, and those others lived on the other side, but they were not affiliated with a country. They were just the people of (choose a name) and that’s it.

How old are the cities? Do they have religious significance? Yeah… but Hmm, weren’t all the problems till THIS DAY based on religion? Am I wrong? Don’t we all agree with that? That religion was the cause of all problems and every city had some religious problems?

Final Thoughts

What am I religiously? Muslim.

What am I politically? Liberal.

Do I want to keep arguing with people who think they know my religion more than me? No.

Do I want to keep discussing with other people my opinions about religious and political matters? No.

Will people read this and actually stop bothering me about any of the above issues? No.

Is it time for me to just stop answering people’s emails when any of the three ideologies mentioned are ever discussed? Yes.

Blah Blah, They said what?, Whatever!

I am the type of person that needs to understand and plan everything in my life point to point. I like to know everything with no surprises or anything. That’s just the way I am.

So, I make a lot of observations about people, especially guys and girls that end up together. How they met, why they decided to be together in such a short period of time, and what made them be “the one.”

I don’t know how two people fall in love anymore. I really don’t, and I think I will never understand it. I thought I did, or felt that I did, but I was wrong. What is love? Frankly, I don’t understand what it is because I heard people say it so many times without really meaning it. I think being a Capricorn completely distinguishes us from the rest of the world. Did you know that people like me don’t believe what others say at all? We learn it the hard way, and out of 20 words that come out of someone’s mouth, we barely believe a letter?

I think that’s why I have such a negative view of the matter because does a guy actually think that saying, “I love you” is enough of a reason to get married to them? Obviously not. Does age matter with love? No. I think one day I will be capable to understand what love is and why a guy would say it to me. I don’t think that meeting someone and them liking you and saying I love you in such a short period of time is a reason to be together forever. I find relationships that have love as a bond is a good stepping stone to start something interesting for the future. That wait time is enough for the love to grow and blossom so two people will find out if they are really meant to be with each other forever.

Why am I so pessimistic? Well, because I find it really hard to understand relationships anymore. I find it hard for two people to ever be in love and the reasons why. So every time I hear about people getting engaged all of a sudden, I think and wonder, why?

Another thing I don’t understand is how guys ever fell in love with me, or thought they did. I don’t understand the reasons. Some guys don’t give me a reason at all. After 2 or 3 conversations, they go insane and want to be with me because they never met a girl as articulate and speaks her mind with ease as me. I keep thinking to my self, “Why me? My bluntness now is cute and mystifying, but can you stand it in a year or two?” I think that is my problem. I don’t trust guys that easily. I don’t believe what they say, and I keep telling them that I like time to get to know you, but they don’t have time or don’t want to wait. So, if they don’t have time to develop a relationship to turn into love, then why they want to get married to someone forever if they have no patience?

That’s one of my issues. Another issue is younger guys that are just crazy about me, but don’t show it or talk, but their actions speaker louder than words. I just stay quiet or wonder why the hell me? I am not the last girl on earth.

Ahh.. I will just keep my self this way. I feel old, I am not that pretty, and I have a messed up mentality and view of life. Maybe some day someone will change my mind. If anyone met that person can you please tell them that I am a blogger, and I got too many thoughts and one day this site will bite them in ass and make them cry from humiliation. I think that’s the biggest test! Can they handle my blog!!?

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, They said what?