Where do I even begin this one?

I know many of you have viewed me as the “pessimist,” but I can’t help being me. I am just this type of person. Surprisingly, there are many things that make me happy. I get excited really quick, and about just the little things really. Maybe that’s why I am a pessimist because I view certain huge things as annoying obstacles or just whatever you know. But the cute little things just make me oh so happy!

For example, I get excited when I buy new electronic gadgets. It drives me to extreme happy mode. It is insignificant, selfish and materialistic happiness, but dammit, we do what makes us happy. Even if they are things that cost an arm and a leg.

I also get excited when I see happy fun people. I don’t get jealous or say, “what the fuck is wrong with them?” No, I like to share their joy and excitement. I don’t know why, but I feel I want to be part of their joy in order to be joyful as well. Sounds gay and totally stupid, but it works.

However, if it makes you guys happy to send me emails (like this morning from subscribed fans) to tell me that you want to have fun and a fucking good time, then you need to wake up from your dream land, because that ain’t happening buddy. You guys are serious FOBS who can’t even write English, nor have respect to women. But oh, I am a pessimist again. You guys need to make me happy and joyful, not fucking annoyed.

Selfish people. Learn to be happy! (Rolling my eyes, and lying through my teeth!)

So, what makes you people happy? Cuz I need to feel the happy vibe in order to stay happy. Don’t you guys want me to be happy? Happy is happy does!!

Categorize this!, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!

You know, this post may seem sappy but after so many years being alone, I have no idea what being in love is anymore. How do people fall in love? How do people share feelings for one another? Is it easy like before, or so complicated because we live in a world with various forms of communication?

So many questions, but what is the answer?

I don’t know what love is. I don’t even remember if I ever loved anyone or if I could call it love. Why are people so obsessed over “love”?

I want that tingly feeling that people talk about. I want butterflies in my stomach. I want this emotional tie with someone. I want this “thing!”

However, is it all just part of my imagination? Is it all just psychological nonsense?

I think I want lots of things in life, but I don’t know if this thing called “love” something I want forever, or just want to experience it once in my life to just say that I did. You guys know what I mean.

Happy Loving Tuesday!

Blah Blah, They said what?, Whatever!

I feel like dancing.

So I listen to old tunes, shake my head, and groove to the music. I guess music always makes me feel better about my self. It shouldn’t, but no one else makes me feel better about my self so I got to resort to something.

What am I saying? Maybe I am high on hot chocolate. I am just sipping it while contemplating the words to spit out in this blog post. Sugarlicious drinks always bring me some type of inspiration and a few caloric intake. But you know what? Who gives a shit! We live only once, and if it is a short or long life, hot chocolate won’t kill me, but will only make me more fun.

Fun. What a crazy word that is. I don’t even remember the last time I had fun. I think I am just too serious. I am a very serious person and I need to step it down a bit and have some fun in life. Like going out somewhere, like out of the house for instance. That’s always fun! But I am trying to achieve something more important because I am an intellectual person.

Me. Intellectual? No I don’t think so. I never was or ever will be. However, I am a bit too smart for my liking and way over analyzing. I blame computer science. Female. Computer Science. Programmer. Such a wrong combination. I am not smart because I studied that crap. I was just smart enough to make use of it for my own desires. The desire of being the one creating something and not just being the end user.

It’s funny that I mentioned end user. We are all end users. We are using the internet to bring us all together and in the end of it all, there is us. Us. We. You and I and them. We are all brought together in this virtual medium and it only seems that we may never come together and have some fun at a party that I will be hosting.

Can you imagine me hosting a party? It’s like asking Charlie Sheen to shut up. Never will happen! However, the sound of it is awesome and we should do it one day. So you guys organize it and get it all sorted out. It’s not that I don’t have money or anything to make it a really awesome party. Remember I am smart and I create stuff and people like me actually can afford to do stuff in life. But I, like 95.5% of the world who suffer from some form of attention deficit, I cannot plan shit. So one of you anal people out there who love to be super organized and want everything oh so perfect should do it.

Invite me. Don’t forget! I came up with the idea!

What am I saying. The chocolate is wearing off. Fuck this shit. I just need to relax and get the point.

I am sick of men. How about that? Sorry for 50% of the world, but fuck it. Men piss me off. Through out half my life, I couldn’t for the life of me find a normal guy who doesn’t lie, who is honest, sweet, truthful, fun to talk to, smart, good to others and just wants to live a simple life. I just give up. I am 30 and I give up.

Fuck it.

Angry, Blah Blah, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!

Sometimes I feel so low and so depressed, but something about having this site that I can’t resist. It’s like an infectious disease and it will just not go away that easily! You know what it is?

If you are really smart and you have been reading my blog for a long time then you would know what I am talking about.

This is what I love:

Your Name: sarmad
Email: xxxxxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com
Website: http://

Message:
hi ,,,,,,,,,,,,,i want to chat some girl ,,,,,,,,,,but only arab….

You guys keep me alive and wanting to love life day by day, night by night, and year by year. Oh spammers, you put a smile on my face and you keep the web alive!!

Now I feel like singing a song!! The words are just vomiting out uncontrollably as a result of a bad internet hangover!

Rebellious Arab Girl Song:

chorus
I love spam.
I love spam.
Oooh baby.. I love spaaam!!

Yaaaaaa!!

chorus repeat

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!

I made this blog long ago
To capture all you spammer’s galore
You always put a smile on my face
When life is sinking me down the hole

chorus repeat

You make me say crazy things
That I would never do or think about
But you guys are the reason for my change
And wanting to always knock you out

I always love my crazy blog days
That have no premise or a plot
You make me want to vomit words
That are nothing other than crap

repeat chorus

Yes, you spammers are the best
Oh baby, just the best
But I will always detest your presence
Because you are nothing but nasty pests!

And yes, I would sing this stupid song better than Rebecca Black’s Friday! I would have more emotions, charisma, dramatic facial expressions, and not look like a dumb ass teen!

Blah Blah, My taste of Music, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, Thank you, They said what?, Whatever!

The other day I was being a curious individual, searching Google looking for other perspectives of the issue of unmarried girls over 30, especially in Islam and the Arab culture. I was curious to know what others have said and what they are thinking. I was also curious to know if it mattered or it is a sin to choose not to, or is it only a sin in eyes of a culture and just looked down upon.

I wanted to know if it is something that we did wrong or is society thinking we are wrong. Because I don’t like to define wrong unless I tried what is right first or vice versa.

So I read several girl’s blogs complaining that people think they only care about their careers or education and think they don’t need a man. Or they look down on men that don’t think their intelligence is important in a marriage, and that’s why they hold on to it and think it is more important than anything else.

I have to disagree with that whole thought process because I was a victim of such accusations, but I never understood the reasoning behind it. When random men email me accusing me of the same thing, then I pause to reflect on such a thought. Do I care more about my career than meeting a guy?

• I knew girls that cared about getting married than anything else in the world.
• I knew girls that are intelligent but cared more about school and work than marriage.
• I knew girls that found equality between both marriage and career but suffered later by neglecting their children.
• I knew girls that got educated, got married and forgot that they are smart enough to be someone and contribute to society in some way.

However, I never met someone that didn’t care about work or a career and are only in it because they don’t know what else to do, and just dream that some day things will just get better.

Some of us girls, no matter how smart we are and educated, don’t really think that life is that great or work is that amazing or we are doing something astonishing. We are just waiting and trying to make the best of something we have and keeps us busy. How long, why, and how we ended up this way is really pointless to discuss.

I just feel this shame that our society puts on unmarried girls is psychologically deteriorating a large and very growing percentage unwed females. I wish society didn’t contribute anymore harm and just let life take its course. It’s hard changing society I know, but no harm in trying.

Blah Blah, Culture, Depressed, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!