Some people need to feed their ego and insult me or tell me off, like they did on this comment, because it gives them some sort of gratification and power. Honestly, I don’t care. Nothing bothers me anymore. To each their own.

I find it amusing that after a long shitty and very stressful day at work, I pick up the phone to check my email in the end of the day, and read such garbage. I honestly laughed. I was not offended at all, because I am 99% sure who wrote it. If that 1% chance is another person, then it would be some lonely person who loves to hate my blog, and me as a person.

Ignoring People

You see, I hate hurting people so much, but they love to hurt me. Even if there was some misunderstanding in the beginning, but their behaviour in the end, like they did in that comment, really crossed the red line.

I will tell you guys a story. You see, if this person I am thinking of, and maybe I am wrong, really wondered why I have been ignoring them, then they should have just clicked my name on GTalk or on MSN messenger and asked me what the problem is. I was not hiding. I was always there in their face every day! However, this person thinks that I have to always be the one initiating something. Why? I don’t know. What do you guys think?

Let’s be honest, I have not been emailing this person or talking to this person forever. I do apologize. I was depressed and I really didn’t want to talk to anyone that constantly gave me too much advice. Also, I felt that I lost trust in that person, so I ignored them. Why should I tell a person off if I don’t feel comfortable being friends with them anymore? End it peacefully. No hard feelings or burning any bridges.

I was a very depressed person, and I tend to ignore the entire world when I am in that state. So, being in that state for months the past year really didn’t make this person any special. I was ignoring everyone. I didn’t see anyone else caring? Honestly, people don’t care.

Moreover, this person wrote the comment in order for me to write this post. It was so obvious, but what am I to do? I have to feed people’s egos. I have to write grammatically horrible posts and trashy content to satisfy people. I don’t use some editing program that will fix my poor programmer’s English. Did I ever mention that I was an English major? I don’t remember, because I am not. Anyways, I make money off this site. I use it for good humanitarian causes and send money to people who have nothing. So, people hate my site, and that’s why they come here every day and subscribe to it. I didn’t force anyone to read this trash. Why did you?

Conclusion

This person, yes you, really should have not done this. I blocked you off everything now, even Facebook. I honestly did nothing to hurt you, but you really pushed it this time, and I thought you were bigger than that. I thought you were very smart and intelligent, and you would never stoop down to this level. I considered you as one of the smart people I met in my life.

Not one day I have gone around and said trash about you using your name. I never did anything to insult your pride. I didn’t do anything. I was just ignoring you. I don’t lower my self and talk trash about people that one day meant something to me, and helped me reach far in life. I am not like that. Surprisingly, you will never understand that, and that’s fine. I am not here to convince you or anyone else with my view points. This blog is just my diary. It is just thoughts in my head. It is trash and not worth reading to be honest. It’s just a visible online brain dump.

Does anyone gain or lose anything from reading it? Nop.

Are people obligated to believe it? Nop.

Why does it bother you then? I have no clue.

Honestly, I was so meaning to talk to you last night. I was waiting on GTalk because gosh, I felt like I had to talk to you. I wanted to start a new chapter and end anything crazy, because I wanted to change and be my self again. But you doing what you did today, was probably meant to be. You ended it with your own hands. No more turning back.

Resolutions

Did you fulfill yours? You did today. Was it in the top of your list? Instead of being discrete about it and considerate, you resorted to this maneuver? I was so disappointed. First the continuous checking my blog with anonymouse.org and hidemyass.com, and days where you used your real home address (which was the honest and best way. It was what a normal confident person would do.) But today, you confessed the Hard Truth! You must be proud and tapping your self on the back now.

Oh that hard truth! You just like hurting people because it makes you happy. I never thought one day you were like that. Shocker, people change! You are the type of person that I cannot communicate with anymore. I am sorry. Everything related to you is blocked. Just leave my site and don’t bother with the likes of me again. You have better things to worry about in life. Why me? I am not worth it. Believe me.

P.S. This was not a cat fight. That’s even more shocking.

Advice, Blah Blah, They said what?, Whatever!

I paid lots of money for the first course for my professional certification. Now, I have to pay lots of money for two books. A course with two required books? Now you know that there is going to be serious no time for 12 weeks! Where is the justice!!? No wonder less and less people wanting higher education. They can’t afford it!

I am stuck! I need books! Argh!! I am settling for Amazon books, and try to get them at least 50% off but used. I am still a week early, but I need that long or even more for shipping!

The injustice! Words! Why do I need to pay that much for words!

Edumacation costs lots of money, but the results are pure amazing! Don’t you agree?

Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!

I kept seeing commercials on TV that eHarmony.ca is a great site, and they can try to match you with someone.. blah blah. So, I was so excited today. I was like yes, time for change! Maybe this site is better since it is more commonly used, advertised on TV, and so much buzz!

Therefore, I got so excited! I signed up, and did this long in depth survey with so many psychological questions that will help find me a match better. Not just where you are from and that’s it like the other sites. This could be great I thought. They spent so much time creating all this, and I will do my part and spend the 15-20 min filling it out!

The percentage completion line kept going up that I am progressing from question to question, page to page, and finally, I was done. I clicked the magic button. I was excited and waiting for the next screen with pictures of people or more options, but this is what I got:

Click on the image above to see it bigger and be able to read the text.

Am I unlucky or what? There is no hope.. *sigh*

Blah Blah, Confused, Depressed, Thank you, They said what?, Whatever!

This is part five and the final one of the year end manifestation of the life of my blog.

The Questions

Q1. “What have you learned this year Mona?” several people have asked me.

Q2. “What are you planning for next year Mona?” several people have asked me.

Q3. “What is that change you thinking about next year Mona?” several people have asked me.

I am going to answer all those questions later in this post, but I want to talk about something a little bit more serious. It is more of an advice to the younger Arab generation, and even young adult minds that are still exploring life. You see, the world is changing dramatically, and an entire culture is more interested in money, silly artificial things, living life in an non-progressive way, being overly narcissistic about nothing, and gossip endlessly to ruin someone else’s life. Don’t deny it and tell me that I am wrong. You know I am not making this up, and it hurts you that this is the case.

I feel sorry for my culture. I wish all of them can just look at themselves in the mirror and say, “I want to change for the good of my people.”

It’s funny, but Arabs rise in joyful uproar when they hear that an Arab did something great in the world and gone down in history. If they are so proud of one person’s achievement out of a million, then why can’t they teach the new generation to achieve such high goals in life?

My suggestion for every Arab out there reading this blog post to think hard. To think really hard inside of you and say, “I can be better than everyone else! I was not born to do nothing in life. I can do something recognizable and magnificent too!”

Mona’s 2010 Resolution

Due to unruly circumstances the past week, I began my resolution a bit earlier. You see, I am glad 2009 is ending. I have never hated a year in this decade as I did this year. I changed. I am admitting it. I changed because it was about time to. I didn’t realize that I was, but life slaps you in the face so hard, that you have to. You have to weed out everything in your life that is causing you grief. You have to only think of your self. Nothing is worth it.

The Answers

So, if I had to answer the questions above I would say,

A1. Majority of people are selfish pieces of shit that forget everything that had any meaning, and forget that you ever existed. Also, people only want to use you so they can excel in life.

A2. I have many plans. My first plan is that I am going to continue my education and get some high end management and business certifications. If all goes well, I should be done in a couple of years and would inshallah possess in my hands something really powerful. Afterward, if things go really well, I will be enhancing my career and moving on to bigger and better things.

A3. I want to change who I am. I learned so much in the past decade, that when I look back, I am still dumbfounded that I have survived it. So, if I wanted to continue this change, I would try to see what other talents I have. What else am I capable of achieving in this life? I am not going to stop or ever plan to. I want to be something in life, and I want it big. I know I am smart, patient, and ready for the challenges. So I can do it.

Moreover, my real resolution for 2010 is really this,

To not give two shits about anyone anymore. I want to show my true colours. Also, I want to be more blunt, and not give two shits about anything. I want to be more heartless and not fall into anyone’s foolish games. I have no reason to trust anyone anymore. Almost everyone I have met is a fake inconsiderate piece of shit, and they live in denial and too afraid to show their true colours. However, people like me will find out. Even if it means to use ruthless unethical maneuvers to find the truth.

Happy 2010! You all deserve happiness if you really wanted to.

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, Thank you, They said what?, Whatever!

This is part four of the year end manifestation of the life of my blog.

I have continually suffered this year from the well known blogger epidemic: the writer’s block. Oh dear! Last night, as I was looking back through the archives of this year, I noticed a considerable gap between posts, and an average of 20 – 25 posts a month. I used to go up to 40, 50, or even over 70 per month the past years. What happened to me?

I will tell you what happened, I became less of a maniac writer every time I got mad, and more of a take a deep breath before you word vomit anything bloggerette. (Plus I slept a lot more this year!) I tried too hard this year to not write things that will make me delete it a day or two after. I have done that a lot in the past. Sometimes I didn’t know when I crossed the line. I had many of “should have never been” posts. This year, not too much.

Anyways, I wrote enough for today. My new year’s resolution for my blog next year, if I am stuck and can’t write anything proper, to sing a song instead.

Sing with me my lovely watchers!

I say Reb, you say Rebellious!
You say what? Rebellious Mona!
You say what? Rebellious Mona!

I say gurl, you say Rebellious!
You say who? Rebellious Girl!
You say who? Rebellious Girl!

I say Arab, you say Really????
You say who? Rebellious Arab Girl!
You say who? Rebellious Arab Girl!

I say change, you say When??
I say now!
You say when? I say now!
You say Where? I say here!
You say Where? I say HERE!

*yawn*

This is a better thing to listen to:

Blah Blah, Confused, Funny, My taste of Music, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!