I have met a lot of idiots in my life. Ok, let me rephrase that. I have met a lot of selfish idiots in my life. They range from close family members, close friends, to people who never appreciated you for who you are, or what you ever done for them.

However, I don’t want people to remember me for what I did for them. I want people to remember me for who I am. For what I said one day, and what I believe in.

I will tell you guys something. I hate this blog. I hate writing on this blog because people can’t talk to me anymore or be honest. They try to communicate with me, and instead of using the conventional methods or a more truthful manner, they resort to coming here. They want to say something to me, but they don’t dare to.

I also blame my self. I am not happy with my life. I mean for goodness sake. I am 29 years old, and I am fully responsible for giving money to my family in order to survive since I am the only one employed. I save zero money in the end of the month. I don’t get paid much, and I can’t think beyond a month from now or even think of my self.  My main concern in life is how to keep this household alive and paying the bills.

So much responsibility for a person that doesn’t even have a family of her own. Can’t even think of a reason to move on, because she worries about her current family’s situation that anything she does that even is remotely close to selfish, or she can call her own, is impossible.

Now people wonder why I don’t have time for them. Why I don’t have time to say hello or bother. Not only that, but since I don’t want to be poor for the rest of my life, I decided to start using up that credit card and enroll in higher education that I can do online. You know, because my life is not worrisome enough and so busy, that I had to do that, because I know I don’t want to be like this 5 years from now.

So yeah.. for that person and that person, and even that person that knows who they are, have a nice life. You ended up being a narcissistic bull headed inconsiderate piece of shit just like any other person I met. You are no different.

You should salute your self you cowardly fool. You ended up on my list of all the other idiots I met in my life. They are far too many of you. I wonder how you will survive in this world with your continued denials.

P.S. Happy new year.

Advice, Angry, Blah Blah, Thank you, They said what?, Whatever!

This is part two of the year end manifestation of the life of my blog.

I am scared to look back. I am scared to look at the archives on this blog from January 2009 till this date. I have never complained so much about life as I did this year. This year, I complained more about life than having a stupid ass boyfriend. How sad is that?

The Complaints Department

• I complained about the past in all shapes and forms.
• I complained about an entire culture without regrets.
• I complained about looking for work and how unfair it is.
• I complained about friends.
• I complained about family.
• I complained about strangers.
• I complained about the way that I shouldn’t be thinking.
• I complained about you.
• I complained about me.
• I just can’t stop complaining. I just word vomit complaints.

Moreover, this uncontrollable habit of mine lead my visitors to have this one and only perception of who I am, that they think they are winning by using it against me every time I tell them off. Hello! I always admit that I complain too much every single time. Why are you stating the obvious? You couldn’t come up with anything better?

Oh, and for those that think my blog sucks, my writing sucks, and all I do is complain, then WHY THE HELL DO YOU READ IT DAILY!? You guys mystify me. I am serious. It’s like trying to get that hot girl across the street to like you no matter what, but you keep getting slapped on the face every time. And you continue on trying again the next day. When do you learn to give up? Things will not change THAT EASILY.

Enough complaining for now Mona (as in me.) I promise you that someday in the near feature, maybe in the next decade or two, my complaints will increase ten folds.

It’s great being a girl. I got excuses for everything!

Blah Blah, Culture, Funny, They said what?, Whatever!

This is part one of the year end manifestation of the life of my blog.

I remember four or five years ago, when the climax of the online social networking scene started erupting, and like others who wanted to jump on the bandwagon and take advantage of the revolution, I dropped all my other websites and wanted to join all this commotion. The word web-blog was still unheard of or misunderstood by the majority of the Internet users. Who would want to write anything personal online? Who would read it? Who cares what is said?

Amusingly, I had a personal website years ago. I wrote out some poems, some thoughts, a little about me, and I attempted web designing something without any formal training. I liked web design because I thought of it as art, and I was an artist. I wanted to show at least one person out there that I have a little of bit of talent and persistence in creating something visual in an open medium.

Over time, this visual design was not enough for me. I can make something visually pleasing, but what about my writing? I practiced very hard. I read so many articles, and took writing courses in University because I wanted to write. I wanted to enhance my talent in writing because I had this tool, this online public presence that would not last unless I improved and became exceptional in it.

Everything that I learned over the years from writing for publication and from web-designing was over whelming, but helped tremendously. However, the only thing that I had to learn on my own is to be honest. To say what’s on my mind, and do the things that I want to do and portray them the way I want them to be portrayed, and let others accept it for what it is.

Be true to your self. Don’t just write for an audience. Write for your self, and convince your self first with a thought before you click that publish button to try and convince others.

The Keys to Open the Various Doors

It is hard to spread the word about something you created. People don’t realize how powerful the social networking medium is. Blogs are a part of it, but other social networking tools (sites) such as Twitter, Facebook, Friend Feed, and My Blog Log are the biggest aides for your blog.

Till now, I know people that refuse to use Twitter and they refuse to use Facebook. They refuse to do anything in the social networking scene and interact with their audience. Yet, they run a blog? And they wonder why it is not as successful.

The year 2009 has truly enhanced my blog beyond belief. Those aides helped me and removed a huge burden off my shoulders from continuing to advertise my blog. I didn’t have time or the patience to do it. I used to go on various blogs and just leave comments just so people will know I exist. I didn’t know who read my blog or who commented on it. I didn’t know how those commentors looked like, their personality, or what they like or don’t like. I couldn’t do my job because I didn’t know who I am up against. I didn’t know who was out there. But now I do…

God bless social networking!

Watch out everyone! You cannot survive as a blogger in 2010 without taking advantage of everything else around you in the social networking scene. I suggest you keep up and see how the Internet is shaping up. It’s going to get very exciting in the upcoming year. I can’t wait.

Where to Find Me?

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/rebelliousgirl

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/rebelliousarabgirl

Friend Feed: http://www.friendfeed.com/rebelliousarabgirl

Twitpic Photo Album: http://www.twitpic.com/photos/rebelliousgirl

Technorati: http://technorati.com/blogs/www.rebelliousarabgirl.net

My Blog Log: http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/members/rebelliousarabgirl

Alexa: http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/rebelliousarabgirl.net

and last but not least..

My blog: http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net

Advice, Blah Blah, Categorize this!, Geeky, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Tweets, Whatever!

In the past, I have known and conversed with many Arabs that lived life a certain way, because a majority of them came at a young adult age, but changed completely after I have talked to them several years later. It’s quite amusing seeing someone again after many years, but it is horrible at times and makes you step back a bit and ask them, “Is this really you? Who are you?”

A few years back, I had a conversation with an Arab man, much older than me, that told me, “To fit into this society, you have to act like them, think like them, and must only converse with them all the time.” At the time, I didn’t know what he was talking about really, but it made sense I guess. I grew up not around Arabs, then in my late teens, I was surrounded again with Arabs. Therefore, the thoughts in my head were not stable. I was exploring life and the people around me. I was trying to understand where I was now, who I am, and how I should live.

Live. How to live?

Unfortunately, this Arab man didn’t really convince me, since he was extreme in his choices of fitting in, that he lost the values of being an Arab. He still talked to certain Arabs since he is still one, but he lost the meaning of being one. Very much lost it.

Fakeness is Obvious

I think I have a gift in spotting a fake person a mile away. I think life just kicks people in the ass so hard, that they think they are making the right decisions. I knew some very traditional Arabs. Also, they are very religious, and held exceptional morals. If you meet them, you would say to yourself, “Hello! We are in Canada, but good that you stay true to who you are. Even though you are a bit odd and incomprehensible to the rest of the people around you, but I still salute you for being you and holding on to your values.”

Few years pass …

Bam! Twilight zone. Hello! What the hell happened to those people? My goodness. Is it me, or have people purposely decided that acting so fake, living a scripted life, and forcefully fitting in by acting so pathetically out of place, is the only way to do it?

One person I conversed with a few months back told me that hanging out with Arabs is bad. You have to hang out with the people here, act like them, do everything that is written in the book.

What book is that exactly?

I think there is a network of Arabs that spread this mentality. You see, I have met many non-Arabs that come from very distinct and obvious ethnic backgrounds, that don’t think like that. They act like themselves. They live life the way they want it, and expect people to understand them and learn about them, and not the other way around. Why can’t Arabs do that? Why are they always trying to change who they are to “fit in?”

Why can’t people just act the way they like and are comfortable with, and inevitably force the people around them to learn more and understand. Why should I change for you? Isn’t it easier to just make you understand instead?

I think that is the problem with the hatred the western world has towards other ethnicity, especially Arabs. They don’t understand us. If you don’t understand something, because the other person is not allowing you to understand, then you will get frustrated and wonder what they are hiding.

What are those Arabs hiding?

We are hiding nothing really, but some of us don’t know where that middle ground us; that intersection point between cultures that keeps it balanced and understood.

If you are a non-Arab, do you know much about Arabs? Who we really are? What life we live? What our real traditions are? What our real morals and values are? I didn’t think so, but for those Arabs who are too ASHAMED of who they are, and start living a scripted life, will lose their themselves. You might as well change your name to Mike, Jeff, Sam, or Mo, because you lost it anyways. You might as well lose the rest of it.

Blah Blah, Confused, Culture, They said what?, Whatever!

Ayee!! I almost forgot to wish Merry Christmas to my Christian friends. Arabs and non-Arabs! Happy holidays and I hope you had a fabulous day.

I know many Arab Eastern Orthodox Christians celebrate Christmas in January, but two holiday wishes are always great! Eh?

P.S. for those that have noticed the front page changes on my site, what do you think?

Blah Blah, Happy, Religion, They said what?, Whatever!