I wrote similar posts in the past regarding Arabs and love, but I still wonder why the feeling of being in love is looked down upon in the Arab culture?
When two people are in love before marriage or being engaged then it is forbidden. In some Arab countries it is so looked down upon and honor killings are permissible in such situations.
Why is being in love wrong? Why were we given this uncontrollable feeling by God if it is wrong?
I know over the past 50 or 60 years, the Arab world has seen dramatic changes in the way “love” is perceived. However, love is still seldom discussed in the culture, but once it is on television, radio, magazines, or any form of media, then you see males and females melting in their little fantasy worlds. It is like something they will never feel without signing a paper first and the entire world knowing.
How can two people love one another if everyone else has to approve of it first? Who are they to know if it will work out?
I noticed that many Arabs that have lived part of their lives with this forbidden feeling have failed in their quest because of two things. Firstly, they hid it because the culture cannot accept such a thing. Secondly, no one can build an honest relationship if it was based on being secretive all of the time.
I know I am talking about something so big and tabooed in the Arab culture, but look at the outcomes. I seen so many wrong outcomes that make me wonder, what the hell? Didn’t you love him? Why did you end up with this guy that you don’t even know!!?
This is typical in a society where being matched by “the wise” ones is better than picking and choosing your own.
I am not talking about arranged marriages to none here. The divorce rate in arranged marriages is almost the same as none. So it doesn’t matter. I am talking here about those Arabs that give up their loved ones because society told them to.
I will be honest here, I was a victim of such an Arab mentality. I was rejected because I didn’t conform to traditions and rules. That’s why I look down on anyone that loses their love and ends up with someone that meets the society’s 10 point scale of perfection. We were not placed on this earth to find a person that meets our material point scales. There is more to life than being an object to be tossed around to meet someone’s artificial point scale.
The meaning of life has become an open book for everyone to read, but why are not many people embracing the simple wisdom?