Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

I wrote similar posts in the past regarding Arabs and love, but I still wonder why the feeling of being in love is looked down upon in the Arab culture?

When two people are in love before marriage or being engaged then it is forbidden. In some Arab countries it is so looked down upon and honor killings are permissible in such situations.

Why is being in love wrong? Why were we given this uncontrollable feeling by God if it is wrong?

I know over the past 50 or 60 years, the Arab world has seen dramatic changes in the way “love” is perceived. However, love is still seldom discussed in the culture, but once it is on television, radio, magazines, or any form of media, then you see males and females melting in their little fantasy worlds. It is like something they will never feel without signing a paper first and the entire world knowing.

How can two people love one another if everyone else has to approve of it first? Who are they to know if it will work out?

I noticed that many Arabs that have lived part of their lives with this forbidden feeling have failed in their quest because of two things. Firstly, they hid it because the culture cannot accept such a thing. Secondly, no one can build an honest relationship if it was based on being secretive all of the time.

I know I am talking about something so big and tabooed in the Arab culture, but look at the outcomes. I seen so many wrong outcomes that make me wonder, what the hell? Didn’t you love him? Why did you end up with this guy that you don’t even know!!?

This is typical in a society where being matched by “the wise” ones is better than picking and choosing your own.

I am not talking about arranged marriages to none here. The divorce rate in arranged marriages is almost the same as none. So it doesn’t matter. I am talking here about those Arabs that give up their loved ones because society told them to.

I will be honest here, I was a victim of such an Arab mentality. I was rejected because I didn’t conform to traditions and rules. That’s why I look down on anyone that loses their love and ends up with someone that meets the society’s 10 point scale of perfection. We were not placed on this earth to find a person that meets our material point scales. There is more to life than being an object to be tossed around to meet someone’s artificial point scale.

The meaning of life has become an open book for everyone to read, but why are not many people embracing the simple wisdom?

I don’t know how to explain the feeling of being free and having your own car. It’s the most amazing feeling. I don’t feel constrained to anything, or sharing my ride with anyone. I am glad I got a car now and not earlier in my life. I think I did well by saving the cash and paying for my car one time. I think I am gonna enjoy this. I may suck at parking, but seriously, 50% of the people do to!

Let’s talk about work. Today it was suggested that maybe I need to work over time, and they will pay me for those hours for about 3 or 4 months. That’s like over 12 hours a day of working. I am really thinking about it, but I am very hesitant if this will really happen and I am asked to formally. I don’t know if I can handle it. I am barely handling my current life situation of having no free time, but over time? I don’t know.

I know it would be nice to have an over flow of money coming in, but I am thinking if I was going to do it, maybe I will go maximum 10 hours a day. What do you guys think? So 8 am – 6 pm. Hmm.. the programmer’s life. They want so much from our brains!!

In the meantime, everything is good. I know there were some negative comments or overly concerned comments in the past couple of posts, but you guys know what? Life goes on. It is not meant as arrogance or thinking highly of my self. It is more of comfort and thinking about my self. I want to learn to do that, because the reason I was hurt in the past because I kept thinking of everyone else first then me. Maybe some day I will try to find the balance, but for now, I want to find what my comfort zone is. Once I do, I think I will slowly change.

Finally, this weekend is the long weekend! Wohoo! Yaaay!! I needed some free time!!

This is the second part of yesterday’s post.. or in other words, today’s latest events. Ok, so this is what happened today! I went to work early, like always. So one of the guys came in soon after me and discussed what happened in yesterday’s meeting. I told him other things that have been going on and he told me, “Don’t worry about it. Just learn to say no.”

About 15 minutes later, I had to step out. I came back within 10 minutes, and the moment I got off the elevator, I could hear a loud women’s voice arguing. You must know, that the office suite is one of three on that floor. If I could hear her right off the elevator, then anyone else can.

I heard the raging voice, and I quickly ran down the hall way to another quicker access door to where my desk is. (The bosses are not there from today and all of next week). Then I told the other programmer, she is at the front angry and won’t stop complaining. He said, “Why?” I told him, “Don’t you remember yesterday?” (He doesn’t care at all really.)

I sat quietly on my desk working with my headphone on and groovy Mona music. Few minutes later, she raged down the hall with a frantic voice and said, “Good morning! This is the new tech support lady!”

When I heard that, I refused to answer back or even bother with her. She scares the hell out of me. I don’t understand her problem. She works in a small company that is quickly turning its focus to software only, and she is supposedly managing the customers. Why does she complain? She doesn’t even have to do anything technical at all. The work has been delegated equally to everyone that has the knowledge and experience to do it. Her job is to take off the load from me when people ask me stupid questions about how to find this in the software or do you have this yet? She does not understand that, and she thinks she is doing the “technical” part now.

She refused to talk to me most of the day, like I did something horrible to her. I didn’t do shit. All I know I was hired for one very important thing that is pretty much keeping the place alive and keeping her job. She just wanted to take advantage of me because I am nice and responsive. Now her scapegoat (me) is no longer available!

Technical to me means something totally different. To me technical is understanding technology and how it works. To me technical is solving complicated technical problems from years of experience and practice. To me technical is trying to figure out bugs, and quickly solving them in order for someone else to continue on using the technical product. That’s it!

You see, this is life. The majority of people who have a job are incompetent fools. Or they are people who only know how to do one thing, and do not ever want to learn or refuse to learn anything new. They are stationary in their fields, and to them change is a big stumbling block to their life! They hate it. They don’t want to do it, and they argue any way they can to not have to do it.

Unfortunately, if you are not ready for what will happen next week, then yesterday seems like last year in this rapidly moving world.

A lot of you who have been keeping up with my blog, especially the past couple of days, have noticed that my year started out with a bang! Who knew it would be that exciting? I wish every month was like this, but minus the pointless trash talk that leads to no where.

I wish I could really engage in a debate that was not initiated with personal attacks. I am tired of those. Honestly, I always wondered how famous bloggers, that have been doing this for years, manage to keep their calm and not act irrationally. It takes a lot of guts. In my case, it was really personal. It was not someone I did not know at all. It was someone (guy, non-Arab) that I knew for YEARS! Many many years. Sad that things had to end this way. Anyways, time to move on.

For those that think I was a bit heartless, then tell me what would you have done differently? Come on now. Don’t be shy. I think you would have done a lot worst, but meh. I am too old for that.

Anyways, enough chit chatting about the past. Let’s go on. So, let me talk about my work. After a very stressful day on Monday, and not so crazy on Tuesday morning, the end results on that afternoon were beautiful! Magnificent! Amazing! Stupendous! I don’t know how many more adjectives I can keep blabbering on, but hell yah! After 3 months and a week of creating something from scratch, the application was amazing! A certain group of professionals in USA loved it! I guess my company will be diving into the US market soon. Sweet!

What more can I ask for? It’s like being an inventor, designer, artist, and thinker all in one.

Did I ever mention that I love what I do as a web application developer? Amazing work I tell you. If you are an aspiring programmer, learn web development. That’s where the future is going, and the internet will consume the world!

Therefore, I slept early yesterday around 9:30 pm, and I woke up refreshed and feeling happy! Yaay! If anyone tries to ruin my mood again, I will use my secret weapon: the keyboard!

This is part three of the year end manifestation of the life of my blog.

My blog this year won so many awards, that I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count them! NOT!! (Didn’t I sound cheesy and dorky like the rest of the bloggers out there?) But yes, my blog won a lot of invisible mind boggling awards. I won people’s readerships. That’s the biggest award I can get as a blogger. I don’t care about best blog, or best writer, or best anything. Who cares? It’s like winning a virtual banner to advertise someone else’s bright idea that started the campaign.

Really, if the prize was money based, then people will be all over it! I would be so all over it!

So, I am gonna list the top blog posts this year by comments, my favorites, and ones that I should have never published, but found their way online cause of my insomnia or excessive amounts of coffee!

Top Blog Posts 2009 | Comments & Reactions

1. April 28, 2009 | It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a conspiracy theory!
2. June 7, 2009 | The Arab Blogorette
3. June 16, 2009 | I think it is time for change!
4. August 25, 2009 | Why are Muslims turning Atheists?
5. August 30, 2009 | Analysis: It is much harder to get rid of her
6. September 7, 2009 | Arabs marrying non-Arabs
7. September 18, 2009 | Window shopping for a bride
8. October 27, 2009 | Symbols of being different

Top Blog Posts 2009 | Monaism & Love

1. January 15, 2009 | Are good people always the victims of life?
2. March 31, 2009 | How accurate is this?
3. April 20, 2009 | Airports think I am a perv!
4. May 21, 2009 | A way to relieve stress
5. July 15, 2009 | Teaching a child the basics of the internet world
6. September 6, 2009 | No Comment
7. September 24, 2009 | I am sick and tired of looking for work!!! NO MORE!
8. December 4, 2009 | The typicals
9. December 26, 2009 | I am the master of my choices

Top Blog Pots 2009 | Those That Should Have Never Been

1. January 28, 2009 | The blogging world is run by monkeys
2. May 4, 2009 | I thought I held the title of taking things too seriously
3. June 20, 2009 | The media has been following me for over two decades
4. September 26, 2009 | I don’t like talking about sex in public