Age to me means nothing. I can’t get old; I’m working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you’re working, you stay young. When I’m in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.

George Burns (1896 - 1996)

Explain to me the need to be within a certain age group or mentality. Since I am 27 I have to act 27? Explain to me what 27 means to you and the things I am supposed to say? Does my maturity level have to be parallel with my age to be respected according to your theory? How do 27 years old act like? You can’t answer that because everyone is different.

• There are 27 years old who are married with 3 kids and live in mansions.
• There are 27 years old who are single and at the top of their career.
• There are 27 years old who are widowed.
• There are 27 years old who are divorced.
• There are 27 years old who are single and are in debt beyond belief.
• There are 27 years old who are single and barely can sustain a job.
• There are 27 years old who are single and still trying to start a career and find a job.
• There are 27 years old who are married but can barely pay rent and put food on the table.
• etcetera.

So which category should YOU classify others as? Hmm. So much to choose from. So many possibilities. So why when you meet a 27 year old YOU try to categorize her/him to be a certain way? Based on what are you choosing their characteristics? On someone else you knew?

One thing I despise and I can’t stand and the reason I am a bit preposterous to everything in this world is because of this comparison. I despise it. I despise it. I despise it. I despise being compared to other people. All my life I have been compared to other people and I am sick of it. Why aren’t you like this? Why aren’t you like that?

Why you think I couldn’t stand the ass hole EX of mine. It all started the day he told me, “why don’t you act more like my brother’s wife? She is more behaved and doesn’t talk back.”

I flipped that day. How dare he compare me to her? Someone who is 4 years younger than me, engaged at 16 and got married at 18 just to come to this country, and she is two faced. She acts one way in front of people, and a bitch to others. Not only is she a bitch, but she compares her self to other girls and think she is better than them because she was lucky to get married as such a young age.

Therefore, I talk back because I am sick of being a push over. I talk back because I am sick of YOU voicing your foolish opinions and expecting the world to agree with you. I talk back because I don’t want to agree with you unless you have a valid point to make. If your point is assessed and has some value, then I will agree with you. That seldom happens because people like you in this world of ours talk before they think. It’s like words are hanging out at the edge of your tongue and are ready to infest other people’s minds with foolishness.

As for my age, I am 27. I talk the way I do and argue the way I do because I have to reach your maturity level or lack of it and speak in a way you can comprehend. I am just sick of you and all people who act like YOU.

This post is dedicated to all of those closed minded people who categorize people into one group that they made up to satisfy their beliefs.

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Don’t we all? Let me talk about life in general. Life sucks. Life sucks so much that there is no point to dream, to hope, or to plan anything. Best thing to do is just sit and wait for nothing. At least none of us would have to bother with what tomorrow will ever bring. Who cares. Really.

Well, planning. I don’t plan anything. You could say I am carefree, but in reality I am just uncaring. Then the hope. I used to hope. I used to have some hope that tomorrow is going to be better than today. That went down hill sometime between last year and today. Then there is a dream. Dear God why do I bother to dream? The worst part is, that I dream of ever such great things in my unconscious world. Don’t I wish I just lived in my unconscious world? I mean seriously. We spend 1/3 of our life sleeping. Why not just sleep the other 2/3? At least life seems a bit better there.

Why am I talking like this? Cause my life as we know or as I know it is collapsing in front of my eyes. I think I had an anxiety attack around 11 am and it all went down hill from there. I tried to calm my self and be cheerful. Nop. Can’t do that! Then around 1 pm I pretty much couldn’t breath anymore and just sat there hoping I would just die. Am I depressed or what? Then around 2:30 pm, I pretty much lost it. I think I pretty much had an epiphany of what really my life has become. It has become nothing. It winded down to nothing.

I was always at the edge. Just hanging by a rope, and today, of all days I became what I feared that I would become.

A lifeless soul with a sugar coating of depression.

For those people who want to be philosophical and tell me that I should think of other people and how life is a lot worse for others, all I can say is BITE ME! We are all individuals and each to their own.

Fuck I hate having a blog. Worse place to write this crap.

Blogs are becoming really popular in our day and age, yet blogs would not have a lot of traffic without its loyal readers. Many readers are not bloggers, but just interested people who want to read a real person’s point of view of certain issues in the world and give their two-cents.

I have been browsing a lot of blogs. However, I saw a BIG trend. People don’t know how to make nice looking blogs, and some can’t even write or check spelling or grammar which makes me wonder why they are blogging in the first place. Blogging is the art of writing. Can you write? If you can, then you can easily blog. It’s not hard.

Some bloggers need a few lessons in writing, and some non-bloggers need to learn that they ARE great writers. Are you?

So this is what I am going to do. I am allowing any individual who is interested in writing (you may or may not have a blog) to write a critique or opinion of what it means for you to be rebellious. Pick any subject that you would rebel about and explain why. You should write 300 - 750 words. I am not counting, but that is a good enough mini essay, and I will publish it on my site, and allow other readers to comment and give their opinion to what you have written. This will give you free visitor input and a bit of understanding of how hard it is to be a blog writer. In other words, putting your self in my shoes.

Everyone is welcome to email to:

me (at) rebelliousarabgirl.net

Format of email body:

Name or nickname, blog URL (if any), picture (check out jupiterimages for some ideas or flickr), and your post. That’s it!

I will be accepting submissions till June 8. I will be posting them throughout the next few days. Happy writing!

PS. Make it stand out and no nonsense please!

More idiotic emails. I read this one and I was like huh? Then I read the search term that he used on Google to get to my site, and I was like aaah. Another idiot!

email: asisheerazwaggan at yahoo.com

SHEERAZ (none) wrote:
SALAM,
I am Sheeraz, 25 male from UAE.
I would like to welcome anyone interested to work with me volunteerily for human welfare.

IP: xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx
Referring page: http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/
Keywords used: List of email addresses of Arab girls
Original referer: Google

What made me question his idiotic email is that he started it with Salam which means peace in Arabic.

So all I can say is, “Salam my brother. The only list of email addresses of Arabic Girls I can send your way is the hate mail you will receive when I publish this post!”

PS. I am mean.

Yes, don’t let the title fool you. It is true. I used she, and her in one sentence. For those who can’t read, it is girl and girl getting married. DON’T FANTASIZE RIGHT NOW! Not the time for it. My post has another point! So, how they getting married?

Through Facebook!

Facebook has the feature for single, in a relationship with, engaged to, married to option where you can add whomever. Ok. Add whomever. I give you my blessings that you have found your other half. No problem. You are awesome!

NOT!

Ok.. most of the girls on my list on Facebook are Arab. Those ARAB girls have serious self esteem issues or they think it is ok to get married to their best friend on Facebook. When I read on their status message that they got married out of no where then I read the person’s name and see that it is their girl “friend” then my eyes start popping out. What’s wrong with you Arabic girls!!?? Because people assume you are straight since you are Arabic doesn’t mean that it is OK for you to announce to the 300+ people on your contact list how much you love your best friend and now you are married to her virtually (hopefully only!). GROSS! Seriously. I condemn you for being such a fool, and I feel like removing you from my list. I don’t want a virtual same-sex oriented married friend on my list. Sorry, but I am prejudice and I think you are dumb.

Another thing that I HATE about Facebook and its stupid naive users is the stupid Advanced Wall or Fun Wall or any other crappy wall. I hate those. I hate them so much that I am afraid to click on my friends’ profiles anymore. I am afraid that they would have something that hasn’t been SEEN yet by the profile owner. Yes, I am talking about PORN! I was browsing an old friend’s profile, and she is a very nice person, and is mohajaba. She has a million applications added and I counted them and stopped when my eyes started hurting at million and one. So I clicked on her profile and I dropped out of my seat and said, WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! She got full fledge porn on her Fun Wall from some other Arabic guy. Ahh? Ahhh.. CLOSE IT CLOSE IT! My little sister is coming! Shit man. Facebook and its users are fucked.

Anyways.. what did we all learn from this post?

1. I will never marry my best friend. She will hate me if I didn’t propose first and made it public without her knowledge.
2. Facebook = porn.
3. Time to remove more people from my Facebook list.

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I just came home from the lovely hour of gym time! Damn women! I mean it. DAMN WOMEN! I may complain about children, but OLD women.. very old STUBBORN women! NO! I haven’t touched that part yet.

So, before the gym class started (it’s pretty much aerobics and body building), an old Irish woman who goes there like every day LOVES to stand behind me. I don’t know why. One time she saw me sitting on the bench before class on my cell phone checking my email and she comes up to me and says, “don’t sit there, get UP! Don’t be lazy.” I looked at her and said, “yah yah???”

That was then.

This is TODAY!

The OLD BITCH and I mean it, she is OLD! She is at least 68, give or take a year or two. She has short ear length white hair, and a hyperactive persona that drives me INSANE! I hate HYPERACTIVE people that do it FOR NO REASON but to ANNOY ME! So I was standing in my usual spot and my sister was next to me. We had a lot of empty space in front of us. Well, class didn’t start yet, so obviously there were a lot of empty gaps. So, she comes up to me and says, “you know, there is a lot of empty space in front of you, you will end up there cause it seems that people behind you drag you to there.” I said, “I know. Because people keep PUSHING me.” I did emphasize pushing me to her face, and she looked at me with a bit of a shock.

In the middle of the class, all I can feel is her 1 foot behind me. It got to the point where I almost hit her, and DEAR GOD I wanted to hit her with my elbow and knock out her dentures.

I refused to move forward. I had enough being bullied by HER.

But no. My luck is not that great, neither is my sister’s.

My sister somehow ended up 2 rows behind me. I was like ? Then I asked her and she said, “one lady took my spot as I was getting a drink !” Argh!

Then out of no where, another lady was 1 foot next to me. This middle aged obnoxious Portuguese woman. You wonder how I know their ethnicity, it is because THEY KEEP talking and RELATING every song we do to THEIR life and culture. I kept wanting to say, “BITCH! MOVE! Damn it, you don’t know who you dealing with. You may be Portuguese BUT I AM ARABIC!!! AND MY BLOOD IS HOTTER THAN YOURS WOMAN! SO MOVE!”

However, that would never happen. Why? Cause I am the most polite person on earth. I never say anything or talk back or ever insult people I don’t know. I just can’t. I WAS RAISED WELL! DAMN MORALS! DAMN THEM!

The title is dedicated to how much I HATE Paula Abdul’s new song, “Dance like no tomorrow.” It is one of the new routines in my gym class. Paula, if you are reading this, “YOU ARE MAKING MILLIONS FROM AMERICAN IDOL! WHY YOU NEED TO DAMAGE OUR EARS WITH THIS CRAP!”

This song is dedicated to every old woman who pisses me off. I hope you fall!

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So this guy’s site has plugins and themes. One common theme really that many many many many many many people USE. I think it is part of the theme package if you use the free wordpress.com site for your site. So the guy wrote a blog post to clarify to his visitor’s ranting and constant complaints that he had NO association with Islamic sites that use his template. That he is not part of any terrorist or extremist group and his theme doesn’t support them.

I read it and though, do people ask or assume? Holy fuck, and I mean it. FUCK! I was in shock when I read that. Some random blogger who happens to be Muslims and talks about them selves and Islam on their personal site cannot USE a FREE THEME? And the theme creator is being attacked cause of it? Has the world gone mad! MAD MAD! Fuck man. I am so sick of the internet cause of this shit. All these ideas and hate towards us that the media has brain washed into people’s minds.

Jeez, since I am Muslim and Arab, I am automatically thought of as a terrorist. I wonder what people will really think when they realize I am Palestenian too. Oh wait, EVERYONE knows! If YOU think that is a problem, then leave my site! I don’t like you, and I may even hate you!

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My life is completely messed up. Seriously.. why do guys fall in love with me that I end up not wanting? I can’t force my self to like someone just like that. I suffered enough in my life that I don’t give second chances at ALL! It doesn’t work that way. It’s an emotional bond between two people. Two.. NOT ONE! There is no “I” in TEAM!

I found this quote a while ago about one sided love:

“I can’t choose who I’m gonna love, but I also can’t just love who chooses to love me…and you can’t blame me in choosing to love you as much as I can’t blame you for not learning to love me.”

Really… “the damage is done, so I guess I will be leaving.”

P.S. yes I am mean!

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Smack my hands and tell me I am crazy why don’t you? As I was going home today, I got a call on my cell phone from someone. I answered and I said, “hello.” A lady answered back and said, “Hello. Sorry we didn’t stay in touch, are you ok?”

I said, “sorry, who is this?”

She said, “I am Dr. xxxx. The psychologist from campus that saw you back in October. Are you ok? I haven’t heard back from you and you missed your appointments.”

I said, “ah. Oh. Yah sorry. Life got busy you know, and actually went down hill since very early November with my job and life, etc..”

She said, “are you still employed in the same place?”

I said, “yes. Unfortunately.”

She said, “Well, are you ok?”

I said, “No. Not really. I think I turned into a worse person than I ever was. I became this blunt uncaring person. I just say what is on my mind and I don’t care anymore about the consequences.”

She said, “how blunt? It’s ok to express your self and say what is on your mind as long as you are considerate to others. You need to control your rage. I think you need to come in for real for a consolation with me because you seem to take out your rage in an unhealthy manner. This time you have to show up.”

I said, “listen. I missed my appointments the first time because I didn’t want to go anymore. You calling me 7 months after is not going to help anymore and a bit odd.”

She said, “you really need to come in, and you still have vivid signs of denial and depression. Also, are you looking for new work? I think it will help changing your environment completely.”

My tone changed and I became a bit irritated and said, “listen!!!! I have actively been looking for work for the past month. Obviously, I don’t want to be here and I can’t quit. I am stuck. You want to know how to help me. FIND ME A JOB!”

She paused a bit for a few seconds.

She then said, “I will make an appointment for you next week. This time show up.”

She then said bye and hung up.

I was so mad! I couldn’t believe her. What the hell is wrong with people? Can’t they leave me the hell alone!

Screw it.. I am not going.

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Today I decided to do a few little experiments of my own. Since I started my blog, my controversial ideas has sickened many Arabs. That’s fine. I wasn’t writing for a specific audience to begin with. Anyways, I wanted to be part of the group of Arabs because I am one. I never denied who I am. I state it LOUD and CLEAR!

So what did I do in the past, and I repeated today? There are a few Arab blog networks out there that I don’t mind being a part of. So a couple of years ago when I first started my blog and wanted to enhance its presence online, I tried to join as many networks as I can, especially Arabic ones. I wanted to join itoot and I thought it was an amazing piece of web application that is well made and looks oh so pretty.

So I submitted my site. . . . .

No reply.

I thought it was a fluke the first time. Submitting again . . . Same crap.

I was like huh? Then I submitted it a third time and nothing. Not even a reply of rejection or acceptance. Nothing. Over time I kept checking the site and seeing new blogs added to the site. I tried to dissect their content to see if they were blogs that are only situated in the Arab world, or are they from all over. Most were only situated in the Arab world, but why does the blog submission form have a list of countries from all over the world then?

Later on I chatted briefly at some point with one of the programmers and behind the scene guy of the site. The conversation came up one day while chatting with him that he is one of the guys that were in charge. A few red sparks flew from my ears and I asked him, “why you people didn’t approve my site?” He refused to answer.

So what did I do today? I resubmitted my site again there to see if they are still ass holes and would actually look at my site to see this post and be known that they are the most prejudice bastards on earth. There are MILLIONS of us Arabs all over the world! It’s funny how Arabs are so prejudice against each other but welcome everything else that is not part of them. I hope they read this and know that I am insulting their presence on the internet. My site is far more popular than theirs and I really don’t need to be part of their prejudice community.

Here is my dedication to itoot piece of crap site.

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