Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

Life is a bitch, but that didn’t stop me.

I refused to eat yesterday because I was so angry. This morning my parents made me and told me to stop acting like a suicide case. This is the first time this happens to me. This is what I deserved. Maybe I needed the ultimate push to stop what I am doing so I can figure out now what I should do with my life. What will make me happy. I would really have loved a good excuse that is all. It drives me insane till now. Honesty is horrible with so many people. They are afraid of it.

So, I just sat at home today enjoying the cool comfortable spring weather. Best thing I can enjoy now. Way better than being in a room with barely any place to move, and is hot beyond belief. (This only happened less than a week ago.) 10 monitors and 4 workstations? Server room separating us that is almost 30c? I don’t get the logic. Insane people. I though my previous 3.5 year employers were crazy, but the one I had the past 2 months is the cherry on top of huge fat ugly cake.

They are still (the guilty) looking at my personal site. Stupid idiots.

Maybe I am relieved. Don’t you think? Maybe I should explore my options now. I got time. Only 24 hours in a day to do so much whenever I want. I have not come up with any concrete plans though. Hmm.. I am still recovering, but thinking too!

Hey everybody,

Remember me? Yes, I am Mona. I am at the epiphany of shock right now. I was earlier today when I was let go from my job. Pack my stuff and out the door they said! Why you might ask? Simple. No excuse. No excuse at all. I touched upon the reason why. I said it was hot that day (Tuesday). Move me please. No air conditioning! The end of the day, I went back to my seat. That’s how much hypocracisy there is working with idiots within a family. There is a spy who loves to report every thing. May he die and go visit Hades for all I care. My God why can’t I get a real excuse like “You are a horrible programmer!” They touched on time management. What the fuck? What time management? No dates are set! I made them up because no one else did. Oh my God no one likes honesty at all. Everyone is a peon and shuts up.

I am so angry right now, but I will stay calm. I can swear and tell them to go fuck themselves. I am tired of this shit. Same horse vomit everywhere and it disgusts me.

I have my own personal blog. Since I pay attention to every detail and have statitics everywhere, I can see the activity on that site. Guilt? They are guilty? They keep looking at my personal Twitter and site. They are going home even and feeling guilty? What do they expect me to say? I am polite to a point, but I am sick and tired of working for someone. I don’t want it anymore.

I will be blogging way more. I am beyond angry and will be from now on. I can’t believe it. This what happens when you work for many years. You get treated like shit!

I am calm now. Calm.

Dear LinkedIn.. I know you added a feature for individuals to hide their identity, but some of us want to know who the heck is looking at our profile, especially when we are looking for work.

I am tired of seeing this. Every 2 or 3 people that saw my profile, an anonymous member creeps up!

Remove the !@#!$6@#$%@#% feature!

With anyone. Ask me. I am an expert.

I think I possess a vibe of discontent towards me from anyone. It has to do with one thing, and my God.. I am not going to change for anyone’s sake. I am a control freak who questions everything and not afraid to speak eloquently of my dislikes. Disrespect me in any way, and I will show you what it means to be ignored. Not even a hello from me. That’s how much you don’t deserve my gratitude of where you are at because of me.

I play nice in the hours I am here, but I am not fake. I can’t stand that facade just to be liked and thought of as great. You did something wrong. I called you out on it. It’s your choice to act like a 5 year old and don’t communicate with me. Who the hell are you? Just another person that passess by in my life. You are nothing more.

What am I eluding to? A couple of co-workers who don’t give a fuzz, and think they are following the rules. Not only that, they love to chat about me and make fun me not knowing they will be sorry for messing with me. So, I am being frank and telling the truth, and they act like they are 5. Am I getting too old for this? I am older than them, but why do I have to act much older too and be reasonable?

Now I know who will forever be a follower or a leader in their field. I think the former is stuck on them with glue, and thank the lord that I have my own space and I don’t have to deal with their child like behaviour.

When will some people grow up!

I want to go back to the point I made in the about me post I made earlier this week, and define what I meant by not trusting people. You see, I currently work in a small place (which I swore I will never do again in my life unless it is mine), and I have witnessed so much backstabbing that I am afraid. That’s why my utter despise of this place grows daily.

I am a straight forward person and very blunt. (A trait that is not very well liked by the majority of humans!) My opinion will not kill me, but relieve me from the stress I bestow upon my self in that matter.

So, I have some that talk behind my back that I saw them and heard them while doing so. I was labeled as spoiled, and have too much because I am the only person that has their own office. I just want to scream but I can’t. All I can do is be nice and carry a smile with me during the day. I also cried enough at work. I just don’t do it in front of others, and rejection I get during the day from companies that I was hoping to get me out of here makes it worse.

At times I don’t know if I am angry or I feel sorry for my self. All I can do is be reserved and wish to God that my days here is countable by hand only. A girl can only dream right?