Scene One

Where at? The Mall.

Who? Two young Arab married couple.

Which one of them gave me a stare of bewilderment? The guy.

Why is it that being an obvious looking Arab such as myself, I get stared at by some married Arab guy with a wife right next to him? And worse yet, with a baby in their hands! I am like what the hell, why are you staring at me? Yes, I am an Arab! Yes, stop wondering if I was one and you want to be 100% sure! And no, I don’t wear a head scarf, but I am still an Arab!

Scene Two

Where at? Walking home.

Who? Arab guy and his girlfriend/wife/sister/I don’t care who it was that was next to him in the car.

Which one of them gave me a stare of “I wonder if she is an Arab?” The guy!

Suggestion to Arab males: When you are driving, LOOK FORWARD! Not to your left! God! You instantly become blind when you see a girl, and will cause an accident you cannot afford in that cheap car of yours! Blah!

Angry, Blah Blah, Ranting as usual!, Whatever!

I got another one for you guys, and it is not so pretty! Someone searched my site asking Google the following: “way to treat Arab man so he will love you.”

Oh boy! Someone really screwed themselves over when they came to my site typing that shit. So, you Arab girls or girls in general who think that you have to treat a guy a certain way so he can love you, need to be slapped around. Send me an email and I will send you a ticket to my house so I can slap you silly, and give you a few wise words while I am at it.

Do girls, especially Arab girls, think that they need to treat the Arab man a certain way just so she can receive his love and affection back? She has to earn it? Why the hell can’t he earn it? Or better yet, why can’t there be a mutual compromise on both sides of the relationship?

Am I the only one that thinks logically here?

I know, some of you will say, “But Mona. You are 28.5 years old and still not married. Why should we listen to you?”

My answer is simple, “Listen to me now, or you will END UP LIKE ME and learn it the hard way!”

God! You girls make me mad!

Listen, no good can ever come out of this one sided love. You cannot make a guy change his feelings towards you by doing “something.” I know many Arab girls who fell for this stupidity. There are many Arab girls that I knew that even go all the way to sleeping with the guy just so he can love her back. Now that is stupid, especially when he dumps her ass few days later, or even the next day! Good thing I was never that stupid and had some sense!

Please, my little Arab female friends! Quit thinking that you have to be an object of affection for some guy in order to receive his love. Why can’t you let the guy act like a guy for once, and let him do SOME work? I feel that Arab girls, especially in the past 5 or 6 years, really changed and are effected by their surroundings, and don’t know what “love” is. It is not a fantasy. It is not something you have to earn. It is not something that you have to spend your life time looking for, and then giving up and going to a totally different tangent by selling your self.

Am I making any sense here? Do I have to seriously start slapping girls around so they can come to their senses?

Advice, Angry, Blah Blah, Culture, Ranting as usual!, Whatever!

I had an itch last week that I had enough of this place. I think my brother, his wife and insane but cute daughter really put me on the edge.

I know that extending my vacation for an extra two weeks was a mistake. It cost me money, and sanity. I did it for my bratty sister, and to look for work. However, the economy, people’s attitude, companies that fear hiring people anymore and taking any chances, really is not helping my job search.

So, I gave up looking for work in this amazing city. I rather go back to Ontario, to my home, and to my house, and live in dignity. Yes, I mean it, my dignity.

Things I cannot stand

Sleeping on the couch is not so bad. Don’t get me wrong, I still do hate it with a passion, but it is not because it is a couch. Oh no! The placement of the couch is what annoys me. In reality, according to Arab culture, we are guests. I don’t care if it is my brother’s apartment, but we are guests living off a suitcase. I don’t need to stay awake and trying to sleep at 12:30 am or 1:00 am because the lights are on, the keyboard clicks won’t stop, and sometimes the talking won’t stop.

I understand that we all have the need to chat with our families back home, and the time difference of 10 hours is really annoying, but why do it all day long! Especially late AM!

Then you will ask me, “Mona, it is only 12:30 am or 1:00 am. You got nothing else to do?”

I agree, I got nothing to do. However, I am awaken every single day at 7 or 7:30 am by my niece. Even my sister cannot get much sleep and awaken extremely early by sudden head butting and jumps up and down on her stomach by a 2 year old.

Where’s the mom?

She is asleep till 11 or 11:30 am. If my brother does not come home for lunch, then she is asleep till 12:00 pm or later.

This morning, my sister complained that she suffered from constant hits and not able to sleep cause of my niece. His wife said, “This is her way of saying good bye. So you guys don’t have to remember her. ”

What the hell?

The stomach takes 4 – 5 hours to digest food

Last week, my brother didn’t come home for lunch because he had a lunch meeting. Fine, doesn’t matter. Well, his wife didn’t wake up till like 12:30 pm or was it 1? I cannot remember. Then, she didn’t make any food, and then she asked us if we were hungry or should wait till 5:00 pm till my brother came. I said, “I don’t think you should wait that long.” She said, “ok.”

3:00 pm came. 3:30 came and then she started preparing some food and left. My sister is still a growing teenage girl and I could see her restless, and kept going to the kitchen and back wondering what junk food she can grab to munch on. Then, my brother’s wife came and said, “you guys hungry?”

Then around 5:00 pm when my brother came, the food was done. Ok fine. I could have made anything for my sister to eat, but one thing I was raised to do is not touch anything that is not mine, because not everyone likes someone else touching anything. Also, my sister and I are really quiet and not demanding. So we just wait and not say anything cause we feel it is rude.

Religion is not parts, but a whole!

The one thing that I do not like is people lecturing me on religion. You can be as religious as you want, but you cannot convince me of many things that you cannot apply towards your life. The 5 pillars of Islam are one thing, but living life modestly and respectfully is another.

My brother’s wife does not wear Hijab (head cover) either. However, wearing tight clothes and showing off every part of your body is not COVERING! Why do people don’t get it?

Also, we don’t swear in our house or insult anyone. We are not allowed. I only swear on this blog because it is built up anger, and just thoughts in my head. However, I don’t use foul language or insult. So why does my brother’s wife do, and my brother picked it off of her? I keep telling my brother to friggen stop swearing. Not only that, he starts saying horrible things in the name of God against everyone! I am like what the hell?

His wife also has temper issues and she thinks she is tougher then my brother, and snaps at him all the time. She also has serious anger issues with my niece, and a lot of times does not even watch her. No wonder why the girl is uncontrollable. She rather spend her time on MSN or web camera all day, then bother raising a child! Then with simple things like change her diaper or feed her, she tells my brother to do it because she is busy chatting. She even leaves her diaper unchanged for hours, and does not bother!

And I get blamed if I fed my niece some candy cause she won’t stop crying?

I don’t get it… People, and I know her especially, look down upon me because they think I am the independent person who does not care about “culture” or “religion” as they think because I was the Arab Girl that was raised in North America. I don’t need to show every single religious and cultural tradition every single minute of my life. I have been living in North America since I was 11! I think I adapted by now, and I live life a lot more modestly and respectful then people that came here much older. I don’t want to appear as the odd one out, and think everyone and everything around me is satanic.

I can go on ranting, but there is more ranting soon after I leave this place. This was just part one! There are so many things, and reasons why I hate being here and don’t want to live here anymore.

Living with your parents is a lot better and respectful! I miss my mom and dad!

Angry, Culture, Ranting as usual!, Religion

I got so tired of so many people in one little space. I was able to withstand it for about 3 weeks, but the kids are annoying! I swear to God, if someone ever knocks me down and tells me that having kids if a wonderful blessing, then I will kick them in the groin and tell them to fuck off!

Why why why would I want to deal with toddlers and teenagers, and worse yet, young adults by the time I am 50! Why why why why why? Do I need anymore grey hairs? Do I need wrinkly eyes and forehead? Do I want to go from Rebellious Arab Girl to I-want-to-murder-that-little-child-for-spreading-ketchup-all-over-the-pillows-Arab-Manic-Depressive-Girl!

I need my space, a quiet atmosphere, and I want it to be clean! That’s why I rather walk in the blistering heat to sit in a coffee shop for a while where there is air conditioning and coffee! COFFEE! DARK BLACK BREWED COFFEE!

Kids are @#!@#$!@$ annoying! I feel sorry for my parents. I want to give them big thank you gifts for the next 28 years for dealing with me all these years, and having to put up with horrible crazy me.

Angry, Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Whatever!

Today, I have been stuck indoors all day. Although I wanted to go for a long walk to downtown and just sit on the beach, but I don’t know why I was so unmotivated to do so. I think my sister ruined my mood by her constant mockery of my verbal Arabic communication skills.

I cannot speak Arabic well 100% of the time. If I lived in a secluded area with no Arabs, and no Arabic TV or anything, then my communication skills in that language would have depleted completely by now. I cannot help it, but that’s reality, and this is my life.

A lot of people from my blog ask me if I do know Arabic, and some are surprised that I do. It is just not something I communicate with often, because I do not talk to many Arabs much. Once I do, I get pointed out and ridiculed. Like this morning, my awful brat of a sister while talking to my mom on the phone, decided that it was fun to start mocking Mona. My mom knows that our Arabic is bad, but no reason for that brat to make fun of me while I talk. I screamed so loud at her, and mom on the other line demanded to speak to my sister to stop it. Her Arabic is worse, but she just has to point out my problems so she has something to laugh at all day.

Later in the day, the fighting escalated, and I had to shut her up by telling her that I am sick and tired of her attitude towards me. I am almost twice her age! She is almost 14 and I am 28! That’s a big gap, but she treats me like she is my mother. She speaks like her, and treats me like I am younger then her. The girl needs to be slapped silly like no tomorrow. I am glad that mom is far away for a bit so I can teach that brat a lesson to respect those that are older than her!

Now, for the sucky realization. I just realized today that the fictional story that I have been writing is on my dead old laptop. Argh! Now, I either have to remember what I wrote, or make up a new story or similar story. Anyways, I got more contract web programming work also to deal with, and I don’t know if I have time to write. Although I would have preferred to write all day, but I can’t in this small place with my 2 year old niece and that brat of a sister!

Angry, Blah Blah, Confused, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!