Here is a thought that has been puzzling me throughout this blog’s lifetime and people’s constant ranting emails. If a person asks questions about his/her culture, traditions, religion, people, life, anything, whatever, does that mean that the person is betraying their families and roots? They should be ashamed of themselves, and they need guidance? No one should rant or complain about life because it is wrong to do so? Who came up with that shit? If that is the case, we would still be living in the dark ages!

I think sometimes it is wrong to have a brain and think about something that is beyond what is known to us.

I am going to mention this again, the problem with the world is: misunderstandings, miscommunication, and ignorance. God help us all!

Advice, Angry, Blah Blah, They said what?, Whatever!

Every now and then, wait, actually who am I kidden? EVERY DAY, I have a major debate with my mother that ends with, “leave me alone!” You see, my mother and I have very different view points, even on the littlest things. It has nothing to do with my stubbornness and just wanting to always be in disagreement. On the contrary my online friends, I just cannot understand her way of thinking, or maybe she doesn’t understand mine. All I can say, she is the only person so far in all the 28 years of my life that I was never able to communicate with properly.

[source]

Enough complaining about communication. The catalyst is always that little brat that is half my age. I keep arguing with my sister that I am not a jealous person, because I do not care about others, and a person should worry about their own problems. Why should I be jealous of her, or other people? Jealousy is bad! It leads to envy and worse, it leads to a corrupt state of mind that only wants to be like someone else. However, my mother thinks that jealousy is a good thing, because it makes us strive to be better then the person we are jealous of, and we can learn from me.

Learn from them? How? If I am jealous of that person, what’s there to learn? I only have evil thoughts in my head if I am jealous, and it means I will curse the ground they walk on, because they have something that I don’t.

Do you see the problem? Maybe I know my self too well, that I try to avoid jealousy. I do not want to be jealous of anyone or anyone jealous of me, because I would end up being an evil person who envies others, and have no personality of my own. So, I know what that person wants, but do I want the same exact thing and get jealous cause of it?

I think there is a major difference between learning from someone to be better than them, and being jealous of them. Don’t you think?

Advice, Angry, Confused, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!

This post is more of a rant and a really pissed off one from people that ask me the silliest questions. I received an email from an Arab male, let’s call him Y.S. this morning asking me the following:

Y.S. emailed me saying,

I need to ask this, don’t mean anything wrong by my question though. Why has your blog turned from you sharing personal thoughts to this? Your blog posts now take up 20% of your main page and the rest is all advertisements. I’m not against the idea of you advertising but you now have a job, right? Do you still need to get that extra money out of blogging?

I wanted to point to his Wordpress blue default boring themed blog and start something nasty, but why should I direct it to him only? His observations are very lame, and he cannot calculate or understand or know anything about my life or my blog. Moreover, he was not the first person to ask me this question.

Why do I put advertisements on my site?

You see, I am not a business major, or know anything about marketing. I am a very simple person with computer and graphic skills. I majored at University in Computer Science. Yes, I have a University degree from an accredited Ivy League Institution. (Don’t get me started on that!) So, I am unemployed right now. However, I wanted to make something clear for those who do not know that, and have not been keeping up with my blog for at least the past year. Last August, I resigned from my old job, because it was pointless and I didn’t want to get a paycheque to browse the Internet, and sporadically take orders from a person who knows NOTHING. After a 6.5 year run, and sudden change in management, my patience became non-existent, and the only solution I found was to resign.

[source]

Back to advertisement on this blog. I had ads running on my site for over two years. If you have not noticed it, or never bothered, then that’s even better. I don’t want your experience on my blog to be that filled with advertisement about dating sites and cool summer refreshment drinks. God forbid! I don’t want that! Moreover, my latest blog design, that took me several hours to do and I am constantly maintaining it, I did for free. I did not hire someone to do it, because that would be stupid. Why would a web designer and graphic artist hire someone to design her blog since she is always on a tight budget and unemployed?

Therefore, the main home page is different then the rest of the site. Why? Because I didn’t want the sidebar to be filled with so many things. I also observe other top bloggers who are making 1000’s of dollars a month from their blogs, and how they designed their blogs. What do they represent first when a visitor is entering? You are lucky I have no pop-ups or anything, or you would have seriously complained and I wouldn’t hear the end of it.

My blog makes pocket change a month. Yet, I am offering monthly contests and giving back money to my visitors. Who in their right mind would do that?

You come to my site, I earn money from advertisements, and I am offering alternative ways (ie. Ramadan Contest) to get involved and earn some of that money as well. Wow! Isn’t that nice for a person that makes pocket change from her blog, she is unemployed, has some web skills, and a bit of business type skills that she learned off the net?

What is funny, and I think is totally funny, that over 75% of bloggers out there have some type of paid advertisement on their website. Yet, when a blogger like me, that has a pretty increasing and lovely audience that gets involved in daily commenting has advertisement, then she has completely committed a huge sin! An unearthly sin! A sin that is beyond any sin! A sin that is committed in cyberspace infront of the whole entire world! Her site is 80% advertisements and no more CONTENT! NO MORE THINGS TO WRITE ABOUT, AND THAT’S WHY SO MANY PEOPLE ARE COMMENTING AND EVEN DOING THEIR OWN RESEARCH TO COMMENT BACK!

Wow! I think advertisement and making money off the internet, and being an Arab girl of course, really is looked down upon in my culture. Good thing I don’t ask anyone to click on my ads, then that would have seriously pushed it and I am no longer respected for the content on my site, and only trying to make money off people.

I am sorry people. I am sorry internet world. I am so sorry that I have advertisements on my site. Find me a full time job then in this city of mine that is not degrading and does not pay me in 1940’s currency value doing 2 or 3 people’s work, and take me out of my misery of having to sit at home all day trying to figure out ways to make pocket change from the internet.

Until then, and even after I get a job, I am going to have advertisements on this blog. If you like it or not, I don’t care. It’s pocket change, let me enjoy it and make contests on here to make people happy!

In conclusion, the advertisement will stay. You have no right to tell me why I have them since they are not harming you in any way. If you do not like coming to my site, or it is killing your internet bandwidth but still want to read it, then subscribe to my site via RSS.

PS. I am surprised that people don’t have the guts to go complain to websites such as Facebook, MSN, Yahoo, MySpace, etc that make billions of dollars from advertisements off you because you use their sites. Wow! It is always the small person that gets the hit eh?

Angry, Culture, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!

I am currently sitting in my office wasting my life away. Yes, I am wasting it, because I am a good girl. I am behaved. I was brain washed by my Arab culture to be nice to everyone, and not scream or say anything bad. However, isn’t it just an excuse for your parents to walk all over you?

I actually don’t care who reads this post or anything. I am writing this down, so when I read this again in 5 years, or even a year, I would justify why my hair turned gray, why I am still withstanding this life, and why I have not committed some self atrocity till now.

Earlier this afternoon, my mother comes to my office and asks me where my cousin’s wedding DVD’s from Lebanon are at. So I gave her the box. One minute later, she comes asking me with a stern voice, “There were supposed to be THREE DVD’s. There is only one.” I think for a second, and say, “I threw out the DVD’s that didn’t work. I tried them on my computer and DVD players, and they don’t work at all. PAL or SCAM version.”

Then hell broke lose.

My mom screamed at me and said, “I talked to your aunt yesterday about them, and she said they tested out all three DVD’s and they work.”

I said with a puzzled look on my face, “They don’t work. Only one did and we watched it. In front of you I tested the other DVD’s and they didn’t work.”

She screamed back at me even more, “Those were the DVD’s that I saw in your trash can over a week ago? I even asked your dad what they are, and he said most likely garbage. YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO THROW THEM OUT!”

My eyes popped from surprise, and I said, “Excuse me? They don’t work. I threw them out. So what if they were from another country? They don’t work! I threw them out!”

She screamed at me at the top of her lunges, “YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO THROW ANYTHING OUT THAT IS NOT YOURS! I DON’T CARE IF THEY WORK OR NOT! WHY DID YOU THROW THEM OUT? THEY WERE NOT YOUR DVD’S!”

Confused of why she was screaming at me over DVD’s that didn’t work. I said, “What does it matter? Why do you care so much over the SILLIEST things? Why are you angry anyways? THEY WERE DVD’s THAT DID NOT WORK! I THREW THEM OUT! Would the world have changed if the DVD’s were still here in this house and didn’t work? What is the point? There is no benefit from them.”

She wouldn’t stop screaming, “That’s just you, you think everything is silly and pointless. You think life is pointless and everything around you is pointless.”

My jaws dropped, and I just ran downstairs to the sun-room where my dad was at. He asked me, “Why is your mother screaming?” So I told him what she said. While I was telling him, my mom comes and screams at me some more. I kept asking her, “What does it matter? They don’t work!” She kept screaming and arguing back, and kept telling me that I had no right to touch them or throw them out.

There was no end to the argument, so I ended it and said I am going to go shower. I have no time for this.

After taking a shower, I just sat on the computer and tried to apply to any computer related job in this city, and I said to my self, “I don’t care anymore. I don’t want to be here anymore. I am sick and tired of being in this house and having to endure this. I am old now, and I don’t have to take this crap anymore.”

I am so ready to walk out right now, because I am sick of this crap. Screaming at me for throwing trash out? What kind of mentality is this? How long do I have to endure this lifestyle and backwards mentality?

Angry, Blah Blah, They said what?, Whatever!

Scene One

Where at? The Mall.

Who? Two young Arab married couple.

Which one of them gave me a stare of bewilderment? The guy.

Why is it that being an obvious looking Arab such as myself, I get stared at by some married Arab guy with a wife right next to him? And worse yet, with a baby in their hands! I am like what the hell, why are you staring at me? Yes, I am an Arab! Yes, stop wondering if I was one and you want to be 100% sure! And no, I don’t wear a head scarf, but I am still an Arab!

Scene Two

Where at? Walking home.

Who? Arab guy and his girlfriend/wife/sister/I don’t care who it was that was next to him in the car.

Which one of them gave me a stare of “I wonder if she is an Arab?” The guy!

Suggestion to Arab males: When you are driving, LOOK FORWARD! Not to your left! God! You instantly become blind when you see a girl, and will cause an accident you cannot afford in that cheap car of yours! Blah!

Angry, Blah Blah, Ranting as usual!, Whatever!