I have noticed that girls and guys have a serious problem becoming or staying friends. The worst part is in the Arab culture, it is looked down upon big time. I don’t see a problem with it as long as two people know their boundaries and limits. However, what happens if you have a long time friend and then suddenly changed their feelings towards you all of a sudden? Or what happens when people constantly think you two are not friends and there is more and they cannot fathom the idea of it being just friendship?
Let me answer the first question. I had this problem many many times. I like having friends, and from my experiences, I rather have guys as friends than girls. Having friends who are girls in my situation is really getting frustrating and too much of a headache and drama which lately has been getting on my nerves. I wish people can just control their emotions and stop having to explain every detail of their life. So I like having guys as friends and I get a long great with them. I rather talk about random things about life, then the mini details of every aspect of someone else’s life. So I explained now why I like having guys as friends, but what happens when suddenly, out of no where, a guy tells you he likes you more than just a friend. I am like aah, what? When did this happen? I usually hesitate and I want to go back in time 30 seconds so I don’t have to hear this from a friend. The problem is, sometimes I really like guys but only as friends. I don’t see a future beyond friendship and what happens when I explain that to me? Simple. They stop talking to me or they try harder to convince me thinking I am easily convinced. (I am as stubborn as a goat!) It is like forcing someone to like you. Then they start this mambo jumbo about an Arab girl and an Arab guy can’t be friends forever. So I say, “what the hell did you think we were?”
To answer the second question, oh I hate the second question about what people think. When I am friends with a guy, I straight up tell the guy that we are friends and he accepts it because I am cool and I am an awesome friend. (ehm) hehe.. Anyways, we agree on this and we are just friends. Nothing more than that and there will never be anything more. People don’t understand that, and they think the reason we two are together because we are an item. A couple. I say we are a couple of crazy people with a bad sense of humor and that’s it. However, people start talking, rumors start permeating all over because some bitchy jealous person decided to make a big deal of it. So what happens in the end? The guy stops talking to me because he doesn’t want a rumor to be true at all.
I had this problem in first year University. I was friends with this nice Arab guy who honestly, I wasn’t attracted to at all and was just my classmate and had most of my classes with him. That was it. Well, after a few months, a bunch of Arab girls were sitting with us, and I didn’t care. I didn’t really think anything or bothered about the situation. Then one day, this one girl took him to the side away from where we were sitting and talked to him for a bit. I didn’t care. Next day, he stopped talking to me or sitting with me completely. It was like I am invisible. I was like wow. Nice friend he was. Then in second year he wanted me to code an assignment for him and he would pay me. He came out of no where and asked me to do this. I just laughed and ignore him. I can’t believe some people and how people talk and manipulate each other. All stupid.
In conclusion, there is no big deal that a guy and girl become and stay friends. I find it normal and it is PEOPLE who make a big deal out of it because they are either jealous or just plain stupid! And when a guy crosses the limits, time to smack him back to reality, the soft way!
I like my friends!